The Junior by Monica Murphy

The Junior

Prologue

Late Spring

I watchher enter the coffeeshop, her gaze searching the room before it lands on me. Her smile is faint, but it’s not fake, thank God. I know we haven’t always gotten along.

Wait, scratch that. It’s not that we don’t get along. It’s more that we’ve always been wary of each other, thanks to him.

Stupid, frustrating Caleb.

She approaches the table I’m sitting at, and I can just tell she’s nervous. Unsure. I explained nothing when I said I wanted to meet with her, and she’s probably afraid I’m going to drop some outrageous verbal bomb on her.

That’s not my plan. It never has been. I’m just trying to clear the air. And I’m trying to figure out what she wants in life. From him.

Maybe even from me.

Clutching my iced coffee in my hand to stop my fingers from shaking, I smile up at her. “Hey. You’re early.”

“Hi. So are you,” she returns, her tone soft.

“I wanted to make sure I got a table for us,” I admit, glancing around the crowded café. “Are you going to order anything?”

“Oh, I suppose I should.” She glances over at the counter, where a small line has formed. “I’ll be right back.”

This gives me time to think about what I want and need to say. As if I haven’t pondered it enough. Ever since I reached out via text to her a few days ago, this is pretty much all I’ve thought about, which is so unlike me.

After much consideration, I finally banished him from my life over winter break. Mom always said winter break was where relationships go to die, but she was referring to high school. I don’t know how many relationships I witnessed end over winter break. More than I can count, and a few that included me.

The idea also applies to college.

I can’t deny it’s been tough, not seeing him anymore when before I saw him almost every single day. And of course, when you banish someone from your life, you see them everywhere. Or there are reminders of them everywhere you look, which is frustrating.

Can’t help but also take it as a sign. I’m a big believer in them.

Signs.

Within minutes, she’s returned to the table, an iced coffee in her hand, and she settles into the chair across from me, taking a sip before she sets it on the table in between us. I take her in, admiring her beauty, her pretty hair, her sparkling eyes. Even full of wariness, they still sparkle. I can see why he’s attracted to her. How he hasn’t been able to quit her.

“Can I admit something?” she asks.

I nod. “Please.”

“I was surprised to get your text. We haven’t seen each other in—a while. I thought you were mad at me,” she admits.

A sigh leaves me. “I have no reason to be mad at you. I never did. You though, definitely have more reason.”

She shakes her head. “No, that’s not true. Didn’t you hear?”

I frown, watching as she takes a big sip from her straw. Like she needs the coffee to continue speaking. “Hear what?”

“We’re done. Through. For good.” Her expression turns sheepish. “I know you cut him out of your life a while ago, and I admired you for being so strong. I finally decided to do the same thing.”

“You did?” I’m surprised. Now it’s my turn to take a drink before I say something awkward or dumb.

She nods. “It was so hard, but after going a solid month without him texting me or seeing him, I realized I felt…free. Now I barely think about him anymore.”

“We’ve been dealing with his B.S. for a long time,” I say softly.

“Years. For the both of us,” she agrees.

We smile. Sip from our drinks. She leans forward, a tiny smile playing upon her lips and I can tell she wants to tell me something.

“I’ve met someone too,” she says, her voice low. Like she’s sharing a secret. “We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months, and I’ve kind of kept it a secret because I didn’t want people to know.”

I frown. “Why don’t you want people to know?”

“He’s, um, sort of connected to the friend group. Loosely,” she admits, biting her lower lip.

My curiosity grows. “Now you have to tell me who it is. Not like I’m seeing them much anyway.”

A little white lie. But I can keep a secret, and I will. For her, I totally will. It’s the least I can do.

She glances around, as if someone we know is lurking behind a dark corner, before she finally says, “It’s…Carson.”

My mouth drops open. “The dude who was interested in Ellie?”

She nods, her eyes dancing. “He is totally not my type. I’m a snob when it comes to boys, I can admit this.”

I silently agree with her. Not that she’s the only snob—I’m one too.

“But he’s so sweet and nice, and I can’t lie, he’s totally into me, and it feels so good. Like he actually wants to spend time with me, and I know this sounds pathetic, but I’m not used to that from a guy. I’m not some nuisance he has to deal with, which is how a lot of guys treated me in the past. But not Carson.” She sighs, her gaze turning hazy. “I really like him.”

Reaching out, I rest my hand over hers, giving it a quick squeeze. “I think that’s amazing. I’m so glad you met someone who’s totally into you. You deserve that.”

“I definitely do,” she says firmly, and I realize she seems stronger. Bolder. She chased after Caleb for so long, and he just expected her to always be there.

Now she’s gone, and she’s found someone else. She looks truly happy, and I’m thrilled for her.

I’m out of his life too. Sort of. I needed the distance, but guess what?

I miss him.

And it’s stupid, my missing him.

He’s annoying and he says the rudest things ever—like, ever. He’s crude. Even filthy sometimes.

My problem? I want to know what it’s like to have that filthy mouth all over me. Is that wrong?

Yes, probably.

Okay fine. It is totally wrong. But that’s the problem with things—and people—that are wrong. Bad.

You’re drawn to them, even when you know you shouldn’t be. That’s part of the allure. Either you want to be corrupted, or you want to tame the bad boy.

I don’t think Caleb needs taming, but he definitely needs to grow the hell up. He can’t be a jock frat boy for the rest of his life. Deep down, he knows this. And that’s why I think he’s so much extra all the time. He’s living it up while he can, before he has to get serious and actually live life as a responsible adult.

“You like him, huh,” she says out of the blue.

I glance up, realizing I was lost in my thoughts for a moment too long. “What do you mean?”

“Caleb. You like him.” She nods, like the Caleb expert that she is. “I get it. He’s…magnetic. Being with him feels like you’re a VIP member and you were invited to his exclusive party. He’s a good time.”

She just described him perfectly.

“He’s ridiculous,” I say, hating how bitter I sound.

She nods. Laughs. “That he is. But his ridiculousness is also attractive. He’s completely over the top, but deep down, he’s a decent guy.”

Like all of them. His friends are decent guys, some more than others. Namely, Tony. That guy is the most decent out of our group of friends.

“I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore,” I say. “And he’s kept his distance, which I appreciate. But I also…miss him.”

Sympathy flits across her face. “He’s easy to miss.”

Yes. He definitely is.

“You should go for it,” she continues. “See what happens between you two.”

“I don’t settle for just one guy,” I say wryly.

“Uh huh, because you haven’t found the right one yet,” she says knowingly. She’s smug and fresh in lust with a guy. Of course, she believes she knows what she’s talking about when it comes to relationships.

“Settling down—scares me,” I confess.

“You two might be perfect for each other then,” she says. “He’s scared to commit too. At least, that’s what he used to tell me.”

We stare at each other, and I note our similar features. He has a type, that’s for sure. I get why he couldn’t quit her. She was madly in love with him and he took advantage of her for years.

She doesn’t need him anymore. She’s found someone else.

He’s completely free.

And while I know he’s not the right guy for me—he can’t be, there are so many things working against us—I’m still tempted. She’s out of the picture forever, and that’s part of the reason why I stepped back. I couldn’t be in the middle of their fucked-up relationship, even though I never was purposely.

He’d draw me in. I don’t think he did it on purpose either. It just…happened. We’re drawn to each other.

We always have been.

“Are you really happy with Carson?” I ask her softly.

She nods, her eyes glowing. “So happy. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“That’s so great, Baylee,” I tell her, and I mean every damn word.

“You’ll find your prince charming someday too, Gracie,” she says. “And you never know. He could be wrapped up in a douchey football player package.”

We burst out laughing, and in this moment, I’m so glad I asked her to meet with me so we could clear the air.

I could be friends with this girl. I want to be friends with her.

“We need to stay in contact,” I tell her. “I’ll be student teaching in the fall, but I don’t want to lose touch with you.”

“That sounds good. We should hang out. All of us,” she suggests. “I know you and your friends were uncomfortable around me sometimes, and I get why. I was in this awkward position that Caleb put me in.”

“Well, forget that guy. Let’s all get together soon. Ava is coming home in a few weeks,” I say. “You two were friends in high school, right?”

“Sort of. Not really,” she admits, her expression vaguely pained. “We were on the cheer team for a while together, but I hung out with the mean girls, and Ava barely tolerated me. I associated with some…terrible people.”

I know exactly who she’s talking about. I’ve heard the stories about Cami what’s-her-name. “Well, that particular bitch isn’t in your life anymore, right?”

Baylee’s cheeks turn pink and she nods. “I haven’t talked to her since the summer after we graduated high school.”

“Perfect. I’m going to plan something. Hayden and I can have a little party,” I say.

“Sounds good,” she says, her expression grateful. “You’re so nice, Gracie. I know I probably acted like a bitch around you sometimes, and I’m sorry for all that. I was just jealous and insecure.”

“I hope you don’t feel like that around me anymore. We should come together, not let some stupid boy push us apart,” I say. “Girl power, am I right?”

“For sure.” She nods firmly.

We chat for at least another thirty minutes before we finally part ways, giving each other a hug just outside the café. The moment I hop in my car, I’m on the phone, listening to it ring, anxious for him to pick up as I tap my foot on the floorboard.

“G-dog,” Eli Bennett greets me when he answers.

I roll my eyes though he can’t see me. The only reason he calls me that is thanks to Caleb, though he normally only calls me G. “I’m in,” I tell him in greeting.

He’s quiet for a moment. “What exactly are you referring to?”

“I’ll move in with you guys. I’ll be your roommate,” I tell him, hoping he remembers our conversation from last week.

While I couldn’t stop thinking about it, at first, I thought Eli was joking when he asked if I was interested in sharing an apartment with him.

And Caleb.

Why would I willingly put myself in a position living with a guy who irritates the hell out of me yet makes me want to jump him, all at once? But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it. I like Eli. I can tolerate Caleb. And the rent is cheap.

This is why I’m agreeing. Because of the reasonable rent. That’s what I tell myself, at least.

“No shit? Really, Gracie? I figured you’d tell us no,” he says.

“Well, I’m saying yes. I think it’ll be fun,” I tell him, wincing the moment the word fun leaves my lips. It will be fun living with Eli because that guy is a good time, and he’s very firmly attached, thank you very much.

It’s the other roommate I’ve just committed myself to that’s got me worried.

Yes, Caleb is fun, but there was so much—more brewing between the two of us before I cut him off. Something I wanted to explore, even while knowing I’d get fucked in the process.

Literally and figuratively.

“You’ll barely see us,” Eli promises. “We’re both busy as fuck. Caleb is going back to work at the resort for the summer, and when I’m not at practice, I’ll be with Ava the rest of the time. We’ll stay out of your hair.”

“I’m not worried about you guys. And I need to find a summer job too,” I tell him.

“If you don’t mind the drive, you should go work at one of the resorts up at the lake. Work in one of the restaurants. The tips are killer,” Eli encourages.

“I need killer tips,” I admit, thinking about my upcoming lack of finances thanks to student teaching, AKA making no money while I work full-time. “I need to earn as much money as I can this summer.”

“You’ll find something,” Eli says reassuringly.

A sigh escapes me, and I know I sound down and out when I shouldn’t. Rent will be cheaper living with two people versus one. Even though the apartment the boys are in is three bedrooms and costs more rent overall, it’ll still be cheaper than what I’ve been paying while living with my best friend Hayden.

She’s moving in with her boyfriend, Tony. Those two are so in love, it’s almost sickening. She’s going to marry that dude. And she’s sticking around, student teaching here for the year, more for him than anything else since he’s still in college. I’m sticking around too, because where else would I go? At least we have each other.

And the guys.

This is going to be an interesting summer, that’s for sure.