Rise by Cassandra Robbins

 

 

 

 

RHYS

Past – Seventeen years old

Burbank, California

“Dude, hurry the fuck up.” I glance over at Nuke. He stands, twirling his drumsticks completely interrupting me and Stephanie.

“Give me five more minutes.” I’m a dick, but Nuke’s an asshole. Can’t he see I’m dealing with shit? It’s pretty obvious that she’s hysterical. I can’t even understand her.

“Steph, it’s gonna be okay,” I say half-heartedly because there’s no silver lining here.

We’re fucked.

Stephanie lives down the street. I wouldn’t call her my girlfriend since I don’t believe in labels. But she’s someone I fuck and apparently got pregnant.

“How? How is it ever going to be okay?” She pulls back to look up at me. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy, and her hair looks as if she forgot to brush it. She’s always so perfect; it’s kind of jarring seeing her like this. I sigh. My head pounds. I glance to where Nuke was standing. Thankfully he’s gone.

“Just… everything will be fine tomorrow.” God, I really am a dick, but what else can I say?

“Stop it!” She jerks away, which is fine. I’m not one for physical affection unless I’m getting off.

“God, what am I going to do?” She stares, almost dazed, at my mom’s latest boyfriend’s truck.

I stay silent. We’ve been through this. Neither one of us is parent material. I’m seventeen, don’t want a kid, and neither does she. So, her incessant talking about what we’re gonna do has to be her anxiety about getting it done.

“It’s gonna be over tomorrow, and we can pretend it never happened,” I say again, reaching into my pocket to light a cigarette. Her eyes grow huge as she waves a hand in front of her face.

“Oh my God, you can’t smoke in front of me. I’m pregnant.”

“Jesus, Steph, what is wrong with you? We’re not keeping it, so stop.” I’m losing patience. This has been a fucking nightmare, and the way she’s looking at me makes sweat trickle down my back.

“We’re still on board with tomorrow, right?” I’m not being mean, but I’m definitely not being nice. We both agreed on this. “Right?”

She jumps at my harsh tone, then covers her face and silently weeps. Christ, I’m completely out of my league. I hate women crying.

“Look.” I glance around my backyard, which is mostly concrete. Good thing since we can’t afford a gardener. “You said you were on the pill. I’m gonna be really honest, Stephanie. I can’t be a dad—”

“This is not my fault.” She drops her hands and screams, causing the next-door neighbor’s dog to bark.

“Shh. Jesus, Stephanie, be quiet. I gave you all my money, and your mom is taking you. It’s done.”

Why am I trying to reason with her? This is her fault. I mean, yeah, I should have listened to everyone and wrapped it up, but she promised she was on the pill.

“I need you to go with me.” She hiccups and looks up at me.

Tomorrow is school—not that I can’t forge a note—but her mom is taking her. I already feel like shit. And she wants me to sit there and be like what… a boyfriend?

I stare down and take a long, hard look at her. I don’t know if I ever really have. She’s not hot, but she’s cute with short brown hair. I’ve known her for years, and yet I couldn’t tell you what her favorite color is.

This is a horror show. I just want it fucking over and done. I take a deep inhale and toss the cigarette onto the concrete as I try to think. As soon as she said she was late, I knew, and it’s messed with my head. It also doesn’t help that my friends seem to think it’s not a big deal.

She tries to wrap her cold hands around my neck, almost startling me. She tilts her head back.

What the fuck? One second she’s screaming, the next she wants me to kiss her? This is over, has been for a while.

“Steph, look at me.” Her eyes pop open.

“If you absolutely need me tomorrow, I’ll go, but I’d rather not.” The one thing I owe her is honesty.

She slides her hands down to hang at her sides and looks up at the sky. “No, my mom is taking me, and this is the right thing for both of us. I don’t want to be a mom any more than you want to be a dad.”

Before I can say anything, she turns and walks toward her house. I close my eyes, trying to get ahold of these emotions that I should feel, but the truth is I’m relieved.

All my dreams would have been just that, dreams, because I would have had to get a job and help out. I mean, I never had a dad, and look at me.

A flash of dark hair and dirty bare feet make me look up. “Christ.” I rub my hands up and down my face.

“What the freak? What’s happening to Stephanie?” Gia Fontaine sits perched on top of one of the trees in our backyard.

“What are you doing? And I told you to stop saying that,” I say, looking around. You never know with Gia. I call her the Brat because she really is. She’s Axel’s baby sister.

She’s seven, almost eight, and is like my shadow. If I had a pet puppy I don’t think it would be more loyal.

Lately, she’s started spying on me, taking pictures with the camera she got for Christmas. It’s a nice camera, older version, a Nikon and she loves it.

“Freak is not a bad word.” She waves the camera that’s around her neck at me. “And what does it look like I’m doing?” Both her knees are skinned, and the bottoms of her feet are black from running around with no shoes.

Sighing, I hear Nuke playing the drums. “Gia, get down. You can’t spy on people.” I hold out my arms for her to jump. She leaps like a frog, and not for the first time do I wish I were her.

She’s fearless.

I know it makes Axel crazy, but I think when she grows up it will be an asset. Her zest for life is usually infectious. Today, she’s testing my patience.

“You made her cry, Rhys. Why do all the girls cry around you?” I stop for a second as if she’s gut punched me. Leave it to the Brat to tell the truth.

“I guess I’m just not good.” I shake my head. “Look, Gia, this is grown-up shi… stuff. You wouldn’t understand. Steph will be fine. Let’s just go to your house,” I grumble, not bothering to see if she’s following. I know she is.

“Why is she saying she’s gonna have a baby?” She runs so that she’s at my side, then brings the camera to her face and snaps a picture of me. Jesus Christ, I didn’t think this day could get much worse, but two minutes with Gia has done it.

I stop. She almost trips on the sidewalk, which is broken and elevated from the roots of a tree. I take a deep breath. This fucking seven-year-old brat is making me feel worse than Stephanie.

“You misunderstood her. She’s sad about—”

“I heard her. She’s sad about the baby. I know all about it. I asked my mom last night.”

“What?” My temples pound. “Wait.” I crouch down so I’m on her level. “Did you tell your mom about Steph and me?” Because if she did, I know Mrs. Fontaine will call my mom, and that is something I can’t handle right now. My mom has all of a sudden found religion. Her last hospital stay she met a man, and together they think that through prayer they can cure all ailments.

I can’t wait to graduate and get the fuck out of here. Hit the road and play my music. But right now, I need to know what damage the Brat has done.

“Gia? Did you say anything about the baby?” It comes out harsh, but surprisingly she looks right back, not even affected by my tone.

Her green cat eyes narrow as she puts a dirty hand on her hip. “No, Rhys, I’m not a rat, and since I’m gonna marry you anyway… I’m the only one who’s gonna have your babies.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder as if she’s mimicking some of our groupies.

“Christ,” I mumble. This is screwed up. Gia’s a kid. She shouldn’t be hanging around with seventeen-year-olds. I need to talk to Axel. Doesn’t she have friends her own age who play with dolls or shit? Thank fuck she hasn’t said anything. Wait, did she just say she’s gonna marry me and have babies?

“Gia,” I say, my voice tight.

She turns and snaps another picture of me as she walks backward. She’s a fucking mess. Her dark hair hangs down past her butt in wild curls that are in need of a good brushing. I have no idea what she does with her shoes because she seems to be barefoot all the time. And her shorts and shirt are stained with what looks like chocolate milk and dirt. I saw her this morning and she didn’t look like this. Axel and I usually take her to school since Mrs. Fontaine leaves early to teach. Traffic is crap in Los Angeles, especially in the mornings.

“What?” She spins and starts to skip across the street.

“Stop spinning.” Again, sharper than it needs to be, but this is fucked up. “You’re seven and I’m seventeen. We’re never getting married.”

Her big eyes blink at me and she giggles. “Not now, but when I grow up.” She twirls again and I shake my head. Fucking Gia. She’s a brat. Been a thorn in my side from the day she was born.

Axel and I were nine when Gia came along. All I remember was chaos in that house, but it was still better than mine.

My mom has bipolar disorder. So, she’s either really high, believing that she can conquer the world.

Or low.

So low she’s in bed and I’m searching the bathroom for razor blades. When my grandfather was alive, it was easier, maybe because I was younger. I don’t know or care anymore. She’s a train wreck. I love her and would like to believe she’s done the best she can. Although, given her issues, it would be nice if she’d stay on her medication.

And my dad… I barely remember him. Only that he was an ass to my mom. As a child I hated him for that. Today, I’d like to take a baseball bat to his head. This is why Steph must take care of this. I’m not father material, but I’m also not the kind of person who would fuck her over either.

That’s what my old man did. Just left and never came back. If my grandfather hadn’t taken us in, we’d have been homeless.

At least I would have been.

My mom would have gone off on one of her manic spells and left me. One time she decided to go to Vegas. You know, to become a millionaire. She was gone a week, and me and my grandfather had to bring her back and put her in the hospital.

This is why I loved Axel’s house.

At Axel’s house, I was allowed to play my music. They had food, and even though his parents worked all the time, it still felt like a family.

Until the Brat.

From the first time I saw Gia, she was loud and constantly moving. She also cried if Axel and I played our guitars too loud, which is how we ended up in the garage.

That was actually the best thing to happen. I’ve spent more time in that garage than my own room. Sometimes I pass out in there. We have an old mattress in the corner loaded up with blankets.

It was supposed to be a no-Gia zone. But somehow that went out the window. I think Axel’s parents’ divorce probably instigated it, but as soon as Gia found the garage, it seemed to be her favorite place too.

I can’t help but grin. She was our first fan. She’d dance and sing and go wild with all our stuff: our equipment, posters, amps, Nuke’s drum set. You name it, it’s in the garage and it’s fucking awesome.

We even have a minibar. A neighbor was giving away a cabinet and some old barstools. He offered them to us since he digs our music.

I frown as I smell marijuana. It’s so pungent I can smell it thirty feet away.

Jason and David are sharing a pipe with Axel as Nuke twirls his sticks in between pounding on his drums.

“’Bout fucking time.” Axel inhales, his eyes narrowing on me as he holds, then releases. “Everything okay, man?” He motions with his head to the couch in the corner. “How much longer do we have to deal with this?”

I look over at our sad excuse of a couch that’s being held together mostly by silver duct tape. Stephanie’s sitting there, still crying and looking like a wreck, surrounded by some of her girlfriends.

“Christ. I thought she was going home.” I rub the back of my neck and motion for him to hand me the pipe.

“Sucks, brother, but at least she’s gonna take care of it,” Jason says all this while staring at one of the girls who’s comforting Steph. He’s good friends with Axel. His dad is the president of a biker club called the Disciples. I can’t remember how we started hanging out with them, but they’re cool as fuck.

“Snatch. All of them nothing but liars.” I arch a brow at David, Jason’s cousin, as he slurs slightly and brings a bottle of Jack Daniel’s to his lips. I’m actually better friends with him than Jason. David writes poetry, so we have a lot in common.

“Granger,” Skylar purrs as she sashays by us. She leans over to open the minifridge, her dress so short we all stare at her ass. David shakes his head and tosses himself onto the mattress.

“Fucking snatch. Although, you might like that one, dude. She’s pierced in special places.” He snickers, pointing the bottle at Skylar. He brings the bottle of Jack to his mouth but spills a good portion down his chin and onto the mattress.

“Christ, David.” I grab the bottle from him.

He grins. “Go get her, Granger. But wrap up your dick.” He shakes a finger at me then passes out, the smell of spicy bourbon coming from the mattress.

We probably need to think about getting a plastic cover for it. It has to be crawling with all sorts of dried fluids, most of them bodily.

“We gonna rehearse or just talk about Granger and his dick?” Nuke pounds the drums and sits back staring at us. Stephanie starts to cry louder, and I feel like punching Nuke. He’s been kind of a dick throughout all of this. I know he’s had a rough life, but who hasn’t? His lack of patience is making me want to leave, because without me, the Dicks don’t really exist. I’m the lead singer. Axel and I create all the songs. He needs to give me some space to at least try to get Steph and her girlfriends out of here.

“Heyyy, that’s not nice, Nuke,” Gia yells.

I turn to Axel. “Gia should not be hanging out with these girls. She’s starting to understand things.”

Axel frowns and takes the pipe back. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, she knows that I knocked up Stephanie. She needs to be playing with kids her own age.”

“She’s seven,” he growls and looks over at Gia who’s sitting on the end of the couch talking to Jenny, one of the girls Jason likes to fuck. Her small hand twirls her dark mess of hair as if she’s twenty instead of a child.

“Gia?” Axel scowls at her. In return, she rolls her eyes dramatically at him and turns back to Jenny.

“What the…?” Axel says and looks at me as if I can explain why the brat is the Brat. “Get over here.”

She stares at him, then mimes that she’s talking to the groupies.

“Christ.” I shake my head, ready to grab her by the hair and drag her over here.

Jason cracks up. “Gia kills me. Fucking kid’s got balls.” He crosses his arms and smirks at both of us.

“Are you kidding me?” Axel roars, causing Gia to finally move and the girls to scream.

She stomps over as if she’s missing out on a chance for a million dollars. “What?” she huffs and stands with her hands on her hips. “I’m comforting Stephanie.” She stares up at us, her big green eyes defiant, and for a second I almost grab her and put her over my knee.

“I don’t want you hanging out with them anymore,” Axel states, then turns for his guitar.

I almost choke on the swig of bourbon I just took because that can’t be it.

“Why?” she whines and stomps a foot. “Is this because they all said Rhys is a dick and that he will never be happy because he’s not capable of feeling true—”

“Gia, watch your fucking mouth.” Axel glares down at her.

Jason just stares at her as if she’s some sort of genius. I look at her smug face and then at Axel who starts strumming his guitar.

“You kidding me? That’s it? That’s all you’re saying to her?” I ignore Jason who’s laughing.

Axel grabs the baby powder for his hands. “Dude, relax. She’s seven. She doesn’t understand what those gashes are talking about.”

My hands clench because this is fucked up. “Axel. She needs friends her own age, not this shit.” I motion to the crying mess of Stephanie and her posse.

Axel looks at me and Gia who is sticking her tongue out at me. “Knock it off, Gia. What happened to your blond-haired friend… Katie?”

“You mean Kelly. Her mom won’t let her come over if Mommy isn’t here. Apparently, she thinks you’re scary.” She rolls her eyes.

Axel frowns as if this is a shock to him. It dawns on me that there is a reason Axel is Axel. He’s completely out of touch. Either that or he doesn’t care. Which is fine for him, but he’s allowing Gia to become exactly like him.

He does one loud strum, nodding his head as he smirks. “Well, fuck her then.”

“Christ.” I shake my head and glance down at Gia who stares at me victorious. “Go play in your room,” I snarl.

“You’re not the boss of me, and I’ll never be like those girls, crying because you don’t love them. When I grow up, I know you’re gonna love me the best,” she announces, spins around, and walks back to the girls.

“Fucking Brat.” I take another deep swig of Jack.

“Granger, you did this, man.” Axel glides his hand up and down the neck of his guitar. “Wrap. It. Up. That’s what we all do. That’s what you didn’t do.” He stares at me as I fight the urge to throw the bottle against one of the walls.

“And leave Gia out of this. My sister is fine.” He starts to strum and tune his guitar.

I nod, the blood pumping in my temples. “Fuck this.” Just one day it would be nice if I could play my music and not have drama. As long as I can remember, drama has followed me. My mom, and then the girls, and now this. I look around the garage and take a deep breath. Everything seems to be pressing down on my chest like a fucking heart attack that takes away your breath.

“Skylar?” I bark at the one David says has piercings. She looks up and smiles as she pushes off the wall.

I’m done trying to be good, or even trying to be understanding. I’m not perfect, but I don’t deserve all this shit either. I take her hand, ignoring the shriek from Stephanie. Her loud cursing in my direction is lost on me.

Stephanie’s right. I’m bad luck, but I don’t care. I drag Skylar across the street, my head swimming with music. It starts soft, and by the time I have Skylar pushed up against the back door of my house, it’s pounding and vibrating through my head.

I take her lips. This is what I am, and I’m done feeling guilty about it.

I might be the worst, but at least I own my shit. I should have a warning tattooed on me. Because they all deserve better.

I thrust my tongue into Skylar’s willing mouth and groan at the large barbell that twirls and fucks my mouth.

I pull back and look at her flushed face. “What?” She cocks her head and smiles.

I lean down to murmur in her ear. “I’m gonna fuck you.”

“Okay.” She shudders, excitement radiating off her.

“Then after I’ve blown my load…” Her chest is rising and falling in somewhat of a pant. “You’re gonna pierce my cock.” She puffs out some air and looks down at my erection. Reaching to grab it, she rubs it hard.

“Absolutely.”