Perfect Secret by Molly McLain

Chapter 12

ALANA

I’m pretty sure my dad is in love with Holden.

It might have something to do with the incessant comments about how amazing the brisket was, especially with Dad’s homemade coleslaw on top, or it might’ve been Holden humoring Dad’s rambling about all the time he spent in Colorado as a kid. Either way, Dad is smitten. Much to Aiden’s dismay.

“Too bad he’s not sticking around,” my brother snarks as he joins me at the kitchen sink after Mom and Emma went to the barn to check on the baby goat that was just born yesterday.

“Dad isn’t used to the company, that’s all.” I rinse off a plate and stick it in the drying rack.

Aiden leans against the counter and crosses one ankle over the other before taking a long pull from his beer. “He talk to you like I told him to?”

I shift a glare to my brother. “Yes, he did, but how about you tell me why you’re really being an ass about me and Holden?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because Cory—”

“Don’t you dare bring him into this,” I rasp, and Aiden’s brows rise.

“Are you banging this guy? For real?”

Smack!I punch him in the bicep as hard as I can. “You know better than that!”

“Do I?” His eyes widen as he rubs at his arm. “Because he was in your apartment well before the sun came up, sis.”

“For coffee, you Neanderthal. In case you didn’t notice, the room you so generously hooked him up with isn’t exactly fit for living.”

“But you did go out with him last night. I saw you two making out on the sidewalk, remember?”

“Oh, my god.” I press my fingers to my temples and close my eyes. “As grateful as I am that you’re back in Mason Creek, sometimes I wish you were in L.A. again.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that you’re acting like an overbearing brute and for no good reason.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I—”

“Holden and I aren’t dating. Not really. We just… we have an agreement.”

Aiden’s face pinches. “What?”

I blow out a breath and tug him a little deeper into the kitchen. “For one, keep your voice down. Two, I’m not going to explain this to you or try to justify it, because frankly it isn’t any of your business. But trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about.”

My brother lifts his chin as his jaw tightens. “I’m always going to worry about you.”

“And I appreciate that, but this isn’t one of those things you need to waste energy on. I promise.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it, because this is my life, Aiden, not yours.”

He narrows his eyes and opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“How about this? How about I promise that you’re the first one I call if this ends up biting me in the ass? That way you can have the satisfaction of saying I told you so and kicking his ass at the same time?”

That finally, blessedly, makes him smile. “Now we’re talking my language.”

I roll my eyes. These small-town men are going to be the death of me.

* * *

We spendthe next couple of hours sitting on the front porch of my childhood home watching the sun go down.

Aiden and Emma skipped out shortly after she and Mom came back from the barn. My friend claimed the heat was getting to her, but from the way Aiden was doting on her every move, my guess is her ailment has nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with her and my brother making up for lost time in one of the most permanent ways possible.

While I’m happy as heck for them, I’d be lying if I said the realization that my best friend and my brother are not only in love but starting a family doesn’t make me just the teensiest bit jealous.

I feel so behind in the game. So out of touch with how to even go about getting back on the field again. I know what Holden and I are doing is supposed to be helping me, but is it really? Because it seems to me that if I want to really do this… if I want to really start dating again so I can find someone to fall disgustingly in love with like Aiden and Emma have, then I need to do this for real. Pretending and going through the motions might work for some, but I’m so out of practice that what we’re doing isn’t even scratching the surface.

And then there’s the fact that I really do like Holden. He is exactly my type and, while I know there are things about him I don’t know, I know enough to be sure those things don’t matter.

I hinted as much earlier, which surprised even me. One minute, I was reminding myself that his compliments were just part of our deal and the next, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to say screw it and ask him out for real.

“You’re quiet over there,” Mom speaks up from across the small patio table between us. Dad and Holden are seated on the other side of the porch, engrossed in an intense conversation about ranch life.

“Just relaxing.” I sigh and close my eyes as a blessed breeze dances across the porch, chilling my heated skin a half degree. “It’s a great night for swimming.”

“You should go.” Mom’s lighthearted, possibly even suggestive tone has my eyes snapping open again. She smiles. “He seems like a nice young man. Handsome, too.”

Oh, god. “Mom…” I tried to be clear with both her and Dad that Holden is just a friend, but obviously I wasn’t clear enough. “It’s not like that. I know you’ve probably heard otherwise, but—”

“I’m not going by what I’ve heard—I’m going by what I’ve seen tonight.”

And knowing my mother is one of the most perceptive people I know, I don’t bother denying it. “I’ve only known him a few days.”

“I fell for your dad the first time I set eyes on him.”

My jaw drops. “Seriously?”

She nods, tucking a lock of auburn hair behind her ear. “Yep. In fact, we met at the Labor Day rodeo. He came with some friends from Colorado and never left.”

Holy crap. “Why have you never told me this before?”

“You went from thinking boys were gross to being head over heels in love. And then when you weren’t, you certainly weren’t interested in hearing about other people’s good fortune in relationships.”

Ouch. Her words sting, but she isn’t wrong. I hate that I pushed everyone away, but I’m hopeful that realizing it and acknowledging that it was my fault means I’m at least headed in the right direction to fix it.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. Truthfully. Without any of the usual undeserving resentment. “I’ve been so selfish.”

“Oh, honey, you were hurting. Sometimes we have to put up walls in order to protect ourselves and give our hearts time to heal. We just can’t live like that forever.” She reaches across the table and takes my hand as her words sink in, and I remember Holden saying something similar.

“I think I’m finally starting to realize that.” I glance over her shoulder just as Holden looks up. Our eyes meet and a small smile plays on his lips. “If he’s still in Mason Creek, do you mind if I bring him next week, too?”

Mom’s eyes brighten. “I don’t mind one bit, Alana Rose. Not as long as it means seeing you again.”

Silly emotion brews in my chest as I stand and pull my mother up for a hug. We rock back and forth for what feels like forever before Dad clears his throat and demands a hug of his own.

“Don’t be a stranger now, girly.” His big hands rub up and down my back. “And be nice to this one, too.” He thumbs over his shoulder. “He’s a hell of a lot more personable than the last guy you brought home.”

“Dad,” I groan, and he laughs.

“Just giving you crap, sweet pea. Sort of.”

Holden chuckles behind us, his dark eyes dancing in the porch light, as I thank my dad again for dinner and promise Mom I’ll call in a couple days.

And then it’s just me and Holden again, behind the closed doors of his truck.

“You survived,” I say as soon as he turns the engine over.

“So did you.” He winks across the cab as he backs around in the driveway. “Though for a second, I thought you might murder Aiden in the kitchen.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about my brother. The rest of the night was so good.” Easily the best visit I’ve had with my parents in forever, but then we haven’t had many to compare it to. Something I fully intend to rectify.

“It was. Your old man is funny as hell and your mom… Good Lord, you two look alike.”

I wrinkle up my nose. “Are you crushing on my mom?”

He laughs. “Darlin’, you oughta know by now I only have eyes for you.”

“Aww,” I tease, but his words hit their mark, spreading a bit of warmth in my chest.

“If I’m honest, I’m not ready for the night to be over.”

“No?” I ask, toying with the hem of my dress and trying to muster some courage. “How do you feel about getting wet?”

He flicks a raised eyebrow glance across the truck. “What?”

I press my lips into a smirk and shrug. “Just take a left at the stop sign.”

HOLDEN

“This wetness you mentioned… It’s not my blood, is it?” I kill the engine on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere and lean forward to peer out into the darkness.

Alana giggles, unbuckling her seat belt and popping open the passenger door. “Are you coming, Colorado, or are you too scared?”

Fuck, no, I’m not scared. I’m just… intrigued.

Climbing out, I click the truck locked and let Alana take my hand. She pulls me along the side of the road for a bit until she turns the flashlight on on her phone and lights up a narrow, but well-worn trail.

“You bring all of your fake boyfriends here?”

“Oh, my gosh, yes. All of them. You’ll meet them in a minute. Well, their remains, anyway.”

My bark of laughter echoes out into the night. “Great. You want my keys now, then? So you don’t have to dig them from my pocket once you do me in?”

She giggles again and continues tugging me along the trail until a clearing comes into view. It’s then that I spot the glisten of midnight blue water beyond the trees, lit up by a big silver moon.

“Ah. You drown them, huh?”

“It’s not as messy and the fish appreciate the meal.”

“Jesus Christ.” I laugh, feeling her shaking shoulder nudge my arm as she laughs, too.

“For the record, this is Baylor Lake and there’s a much more accessible beach on the other side of the old bridge in town. Unfortunately, there are probably still a few people there, in denial of their weekend coming to an end. I figured this is more private.”

“Private? You plan on swimming?”

She nods. “I haven’t been all summer and it was such a hot day. I thought we could take a dip. If that’s okay?”

“Darlin’, I’m never gonna turn down a nighttime dip with a pretty girl.” Though, it doesn’t pass my notice that neither of us has a suit, and I’m curious as hell on how she plans to work around that.

She smiles up at me and then bends, making quick work of unfastening her sandals. “Just pretend my bra and panties are a bikini.”

Shittttt.

“Don’t be all weird about it, okay?”

Too late for that. I’m half hard just thinking about all that skin…

She kicks away her shoes and gestures impatiently for me to shed mine, as well. “Come on, Colorado. Don’t be shy.”

“What if I’m not wearing any underwear?”

She narrows her eyes. “Commando? I should have guessed.”

Chuckling, I toe off my boots and socks, then reach behind my head to tug off my T-shirt.

Alana’s gasp isn’t nearly as discreet as I’m sure she hoped it would be and I grin.

“You all right, darlin’?”

“More than all right,” she answers immediately, her fingers toying with the hem of her dress. “Just making sure you’re not gonna get me half naked and then decide you’re not going in.”

“Oh, I’m going in.” My belt buckle is undone in a second, followed by my fly, all the while my spunky little ice princess watches with fascination. “See something you like?”

She shifts slightly, the moon illuminating half of her face and the fact that she’s biting her lip. In anticipation or is she second-guessing this idea of hers?

“And if I said I do?” she asks softly, her gaze sliding down my chest to my abs and lower, where my fingers have slowed to a snail’s pace just to torment her like she’s doing me.

“With no one around to hear you say it?” I cock my head to the side and hook my thumbs in my waistband, watching a sly, almost wanton smile curve her lips. “Careful, gorgeous, or I might think you like me for real.”

“Oh, that ego of yours.” She laughs and I shake my head, because this girl? She’s such a contradiction. Bold and full of sass one minute, timid and unsure of herself the next. But right now, she’s the perfect mix of both. My little minx under the moonlight.

Motivated by her feisty attitude, I drop my jeans and hold my arms wide. “One of us is overdressed, woman.”

She purses her lips. “Nice boxer briefs, you liar.”

“Consider it a blessing, darlin’, because if I was forced to go in naked, you would have been, too.”

“Oh, really?” She cocks an eyebrow and, in one swift movement, lifts her dress over her head.

This time, I’m the one to gasp. Actually, it’s more of a groan. A groan that rumbles all the way down to my balls.

She drops the dress on top of her sandals and takes off for the water in nothing but her bare feet and a minuscule bit of dark lace.

I’m right behind her, of course, because I’m pretty sure I’d follow her anywhere at this point.

“Holy shit, it’s colder than I expected.” Not that I’m complaining. It feels amazing, and frankly, my dick needs to cool off.

“It’s perfect,” Alana says, a little breathless as she dips low enough to cover her shoulders and wet her hair. “We used to come here all the time in high school. The public beach is nice, with picnic tables and whatnot, but we couldn’t sneak beer and wine coolers over there.”

I wade past her until the water hits my chest when I stand. “So, you were a rebel in high school, is that what you’re telling me?”

“Nah, I was pretty normal. And it wasn’t like we partied every weekend. Most of us were athletes and getting caught would have been the end of that.”

“Yeah? What’d you play?”

She glides closer, treading water to keep afloat less than two feet in front of me, as I dunk under to wet my head. “A little of everything,” she says when I reemerge. “But softball was my sweet spot. How about you? Were you an athlete?”

“I’m not sure you want to hear about it.” I spent my days on my uncle’s ranch and my nights and weekends in the rodeo arena. And when I wasn’t on a bull, aiming for those eight seconds, I was cheering on my buddies or watching the pros from the stands.

“The eternal cowboy, huh?” She shakes her head, but the light in her eyes holds no real condemnation. “I suppose we all have our faults.”

“Oh, really?” I reach for her under the water, playfully digging my fingers into the soft sides of her stomach and making her squirm.

“Holden James!” she cries, twisting and turning and trying her damnedest to get away.

“James? Where the hell did you get that?” Laughing, I pull her back to my chest and pin one of her arms beneath mine while our free ones wrestle for control above the water.

She giggles and fights so hard, she can barely catch her breath, but the firecracker keeps trying.

“Made it... up,” she wheezes, her fingers digging into my forearm, as if to inflict pain I barely feel. “Or maybe… it’s… John Wayne.”

I laugh so hard, I almost drop her. “Try again, darlin’. In fact, I’m not letting you go until you get it right.”

“Rude!” she rasps, finally easing up enough to suck in a few lungfuls of air. “You don’t play fair.”

“You’re the one who suggested we go swimming in our underwear, so don’t get me started on fair.”

She glances back, her breath still coming fast. “What’s the big deal?”

“You think it was easy seeing you get damn near naked in front of me? Or the fact that we’re practically skin on skin right now?”

Her eyes go wide. Then she challenges, “So put me down.”

“And let you win? Fuck that.” I chuckle, but the mood has already shifted. We stare at each other for a long moment before she whispers a single word…

“Daniel.”

No friggin’ way. “How did you know that?”

“Lucky guess,” she says quietly and, though I’d just as soon keep her close to me all night long, I let go.

Only, she doesn’t move.

At least not until she turns and lifts her hands to my chest as mine find her hips beneath the water.

“For the record, it wasn’t easy seeing you get naked, either.” Her hands slide up, stopping on my shoulders. “You’re pretty hot for a cowboy.”

A low laugh vibrates in my chest, while the thin bands of lace beneath my fingers tempt me into making this fake relationship we have very real.

“Are people who fake date allowed to kiss? Is that a thing?” I ask, boldly smoothing one hand down and around the fleshy curve of her ass.

“Do you want it to be a thing?” she rasps, her fingers sliding up and into my hair as she toes up and presses her tits against my chest as if to solidify her point.

I chuckle again. “What happened to the shy girl from the bar? The one who had no idea what she was doing to the men in this town?”

A brave smile curls her lips. “You’re bringing her out of her shell.”

“Am I?” Kinda hoping her bravery is reserved just for me, though. And not for those other guys I’m supposed to be helping her attract. “Maybe she should kiss me so I can properly gauge the success of the experiment.”

She smiles and her lips, all sure and confident, are on mine a second later. She half sighs, half moans as those fingers in my hair thread higher and I lift her so she can rest her elbows on my shoulders and bring our mouths even closer.

Fuck. I groan as her legs wrap around my waist. I’ve been hard since she whipped off her dress and there’s no hiding that now.

“Holden,” she sighs against my lips and I grip her tighter, refusing to break the kiss. I want to taste her. Consume her. Have as much of her as she’ll let me have.

She parts her lips just slightly and it’s an invitation I gladly accept, teasing my tongue against hers as the world fades away around us.

I like this girl. I like this girl so friggin’ much. The little spitfire who wanted nothing to do with me is now the one driving me insane.

Beneath the water, she rotates her hips and presses her hot center against my swollen dick in a way that has my blood pumping even harder. She’s the kind of girl I’d like to explore every inch of. Get to know every curve and every freckle before I make her mine. But if she wants me right here, right now in this lake, I won’t deny her.

But she suddenly pulls away from the kiss, her breath coming hard and fast against my face. “We have to stop,” she pants. “We... we can’t.”

“We can go home and—”

“No.” She shakes her head and untangles herself from me before pushing back into the water. “I mean, we can’t do this.” She gestures between us, a mixture of longing and regret in her eyes before she spins and hurries out of the lake.

“Alana,” I call after her, but she’s already pulling on her dress and shoving her feet into her shoes.

Before I can even get out of the water, let alone tell her that we don’t have to do anything at all, she’s up the path and to my truck, slamming the door behind her.