The Forever Home by Sue Watson
Chapter Thirty-Three
Leaving the interview room, I signed my release papers with the desk sergeant, feeling like a different person to the one who’d arrived hours before. It was now dark outside, and walking through to the exit, I saw Ryan leaning against the wall.
As soon as he saw me, he reluctantly pulled himself away from the wall, and instead of his usual bright smile, the cheeky wink, he just rolled his eyes slowly.
I walked towards him, and we hugged, half-heartedly. I didn’t know what to expect. ‘Why are you here? Sally said you know what happened with Erin.’
He nodded and, taking my arm with one hand, opened the door with the other, leading us outside.
‘So what’s happened? She’s okay, isn’t she?’
‘She’s fine,’ he sighed.
‘Why were you outside my house the night she went missing?’ I asked, ‘You were on the CCTV Ryan.’
‘Let’s just get in the van and I’ll tell you what’s been going on.’
Once inside his van, he handed me a bottle of water. I twisted the lid, I was so thirsty, and glugged about half the bottle in one go. ‘So, tell me,’ I said, wiping my mouth on my sleeve.
He took a deep breath. ‘I feel terrible; this is so difficult, Carly. I don’t want you to hate me.’ He turned to look at me, his eyes filled with pain.
My stomach dipped. I couldn’t possibly imagine what the connection was between Ryan and Erin. ‘Okay, what?’
‘It wasn’t me on the CCTV, it was my brother.’
‘Max?’
‘Yeah, people say we look alike, and from a distance…’
I nodded; they did, that made sense. ‘But why?’
‘I told you that Erin used to go out with Max. It was only for a few weeks, and it was ages ago. I never really understood it, never liked her, felt she was using him.’ He paused for a moment, clearly trying to work out how to best tell me. ‘Anyway, when she dumped him, he was really gutted. It took him a while, but I thought he’d got over her, especially now she’s with him and had the baby and everything.’ Ryan was leaning on the steering wheel, gazing ahead, like he was trying to remember. ‘But seeing her with him, on the telly and in the papers, I think it reignited something with Max, he still had feelings for her. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I saw them in Looe, having a drink together, and it looked like… well, more than just a drink.’
‘Oh?’
He nodded. ‘Yeah, so I asked him about it, but he said they were just mates. I knew he was lying, but probably because I’m with you, and he worried it might get back to Mark. And Erin had told him she thought you and Mark were seeing each other. I didn’t put any of this together, until I went to see Mum, and she kept talking about “the little girl who lives upstairs”. Now, I know Mum has dementia, but she seemed worse than usual, really agitated. She kept asking me to make sure the little girl was okay, and turns out “the little girl” she’d seen was Erin. Before she went missing, she’d been at Mum’s with Max, and the other morning when he called me and you heard us arguing, I’d asked him if he knew anything about Erin. He went mad, just really angry, upset, thinking I was accusing him of hurting her.’
‘And when Erin called you a few days ago, when you were at the house working?’ I asked.
‘Yeah, as I told you then, she was trying to get hold of Max, but I stuck my nose in a bit. I said didn’t she think she’d done enough stealing someone’s husband, why try and break my bro’s heart again, was one man not enough for her? Thing is, she can’t be trusted. She told everyone about how sex with Max was rubbish – personal, nasty stuff, you know? And I called her out on that.’
I nodded; so Ryan had been telling the truth about that call.
‘So, on the night she went missing, she’d asked Max to drop her at yours, park down the road, and wait for her,’ he continued. ‘She’d said she was scared if Mark was there, and scared if he wasn’t because either way you were so jealous you’d probably lash out. She’d made this sound so real that Max was worried about her, so wandered up to the house in case she was in trouble; that’s when he was caught on the CCTV. And when she did eventually run out that night, she called Max from your garden to meet her on the beach, then threw her phone away so she couldn’t be traced. He then ran through your back garden to meet her on the beach, where apparently she was sobbing, had blood all over her, and said you’d attacked her in a “jealous rage”.’
‘Which explains the sofa throw on the beach. She must have cut herself to put blood on it, making it look like I’d done it,’ I murmured, shaking my head in disbelief.
‘She really planned this, hooked Max in saying she needed somewhere to hide from you because you’d threatened to kill her. So, naturally, he took her back to Mum’s.’
‘She went through all that just to implicate me? But she must have known she’d be found eventually?’ Besides, I thought, she would want to see her son surely?
‘Seems she genuinely thought Mark was seeing you, and when he wasn’t with you at the house, she decided to disappear to scare him into giving her attention and at the same time drop you in it. She thought if she told Mark you’d attacked her, he’d stop seeing you. Then, if she was found, or decided to reappear, she said she’d had to go into hiding because you’d threatened to kill her.’
I was just listening, open-mouthed. I resented Erin, I didn’t like her, but the hate she’d clearly felt for me was unimaginable, and all because of Mark.
‘Anyway, I’d almost given up on it, until today, when I went round to see Mum. She was still talking about “the little girl upstairs” and I suddenly thought, what if Mum recognises her as the little girl she used to look after? She’d remember her as the child, because Mum’s long-term memory is still quite good; it’s what happened half an hour ago that she can’t remember. So I asked her where the little girl that she used to look after was and she said, “here”. He turned to look at me, taking his arms from the steering wheel. ‘So… I pretended I needed something from upstairs, and went into Max’s room to see if there was anything in there that might give me a clue. I couldn’t see anything obvious, so opened the wardrobe, and heard something behind me, and when I turned around a pile of coats on his bed were moving. I freaked out, couldn’t believe it – there she was – the woman whose face was in every newsfeed. Erin – hiding under a pile of coats in Max’s bedroom.’
I gasped. ‘How could she put us all through such hell,’ I said, thinking mostly of poor Lara.
‘I don’t know why you’re surprised, Erin doesn’t think of anyone else.’
‘No, you’re right. So, when you found her, did you call the police?’
‘Yeah. She begged me not to, but I wasn’t taking any shit.’
‘Wow,’ I sighed, appalled at how Erin was still trying to ruin me, but relieved it was all over. My exhausted mind could barely comprehend everything Ryan had told me. I resented the way she’d tried to drag me in, but at the same time, I understood her dynamic with Mark; Erin was trying desperately to get his attention, to be relevant to him, to make him love her and be faithful. But he couldn’t.
Ryan was shaking his head. ‘Erin’s really stupid, she hadn’t thought it through, and when I found her huddled under the coats, she pretended to be scared!’ He gave a hollow laugh. ‘Like Erin Matthews has ever been scared of anyone. She’s the scary one.’
‘Yeah, she’s pretty scary,’ I murmured.
‘She told this long story about how you’d attacked her when she went to your house that night. She said you were screaming at her, chased her out into the garden, and in her apparent “desperation”, she climbed down the rocks and ended up running along the beach.’
‘She probably did run along the beach – but I wasn’t chasing her, she’d gone on ahead, minutes before while I was making her a cup of bloody tea,’ I said, still shocked at this.
‘Erin used Max, and as he’s still smitten, she knew she could trust him not to tell anyone. And he didn’t, the idiot. But when she’d gone missing, I knew something wasn’t right, that’s why I kept asking you about it.’
‘Sorry, I just thought it was odd, you seemed obsessed.’
‘Well Max hinted that you were still seeing Mark. I was confused.’
I smiled. ‘But you knew how I felt about Mark.’
‘Yeah, but what Max said made me feel insecure, and when Erin disappeared…’
‘I know, I know, we were all the same, feeling like we couldn’t trust anyone,’ I said, reaching for his hand.
‘Yeah, thanks to her we’ve all been through it, looking over our shoulders.’
‘Well, now it’s her turn to go through the police questioning and mind games.’
He smiled; ‘Yeah, she’ll be charged with wasting police time at least. But she’s dragged Max into it too – whatever he tries to say, he went along with it all. Even when he knew she was missing, he didn’t tell the police where she was. He broke the law, thanks to that stupid cow.’
‘And your mum,’ I said, suddenly remembering poor Tina caught in the middle of all this. ‘Is she okay?’
‘She doesn’t really understand, but obviously having the police there upset her. She’s very fragile, it’s like trying to explain something to a child. Everything scares her. That’s why when you offered to go and visit, I said best not to, she can get really upset even if someone just knocks on the door.’
‘I understand now, so all this must have really unsettled her.’
‘Yeah, and I’m angry with Max for putting her through it.’
I just sat there, my mind still in a whirl. ‘Mark caused all this though, Erin was reacting to his behaviour,’ I sighed. ‘And then he tried to pin it on me.’
‘I’ll be honest with you, Carly,’ he said, resting his hand on my knee, ‘I even wondered myself.’
‘No,’ I was horrified, ‘you didn’t think—’
‘You said yourself, we don’t know each other that well, and you had plenty of reasons to want Erin off the scene one way or another.’
‘I guess so, and if I’m absolutely honest, I did wonder about you,’ I said, pulling an awkward face.
He looked surprised; ‘Really?’
‘Yeah, and when I saw who I thought was you on the CCTV, I nearly died,’ I said. ‘And you were really vague about Max going out with Erin when Phoebe asked you.’
‘Yes, I knew something weird was going on, I just didn’t want Max to be connected with her. Looks like we both lost the plot,’ he said smiling. ‘Shall we go home? You must be starving, I know I am.’ He kissed me, started the car, and when we got back to the house, he cooked supper, and held me all night.
The following morning, I still felt bruised from the whole ordeal, but thanks to Ryan, I was calmer, and more hopeful. I thought about Lara and how happy and relieved she must be now Erin was safe, and I longed to call her, but decided it was best to send a text saying what great news, and I was happy for her. A little later that morning, though, she was on the phone.
‘Carly, I feel terrible,’ she said, her emotion clear. ‘I said some things in the heat of the moment… I even told the police you might have done something…’
‘I know, I know, but the main thing is that Erin’s okay.’
‘Can you ever forgive me?’
‘Of course, I understand how upset you were. I’m just glad for you that Erin’s safe,’ I said, though my feelings were still conflicted. I was surprised to feel quite hurt that Erin would do all that to get at me.
‘No thanks to that despicable ex-husband of yours. He wasn’t exactly out searching, was he? Just holed himself up in the cottage drinking himself to oblivion.’
‘In his defence, he was arrested for at least a day when she was missing, but far be it from me to defend him,’ I said. ‘And sadly he isn’t my ex – he’s still my husband,’ I sighed. ‘I have been pushing, but getting him to do anything is always a nightmare and this divorce is dragging.’ The last couple of days had put into perspective how much I needed this all to officially be over and Mark and his drama to be out of my life.
‘I’m sorry, Carly, but as far as I’m concerned, I hope it drags even longer. I’m desperately hoping Erin comes to her senses before you’re divorced and won’t end up married to the bastard. You’d have thought this whole episode would have cooled things off between them, but she’s back there now, and he’s declaring his undying love.’
‘I’m afraid Mark doesn’t know the meaning of such things.’
‘Well, you know that, but she’s twenty-four and he has her wrapped round his little finger.’
According to Lara, Erin had spent several hours at the police station once she’d been ‘found’, and after being put in touch with social services, was asked where she wanted to go. Much to Lara’s horror, she’d asked to be taken back to Mark rather than back to Lara’s where her son was. I found it hard to be apart from my babies for just a few hours when they were small, but she’d been gone for days, surely she wanted to see little Billy? Then again, she was Lara’s daughter, and that was where the issues began, Lara was someone who often put her child last on her list.
‘The police called me to say she was safe,’ she said, ‘and I just assumed she’d come to me, but she called from the cottage. I could hear him in the background telling her, “Don’t say too much, be careful.” Bastard!’
‘He probably won’t let her talk to anyone until she’s done an exclusive interview with Hello,’ I said cynically. ‘Estelle will be negotiating a fee as we speak.’
‘I hate him, Carly. I hate what he’s done to her. He’ll ruin her life. He’s not who she thinks he is, he’s vile.’
I tried to reassure her that if she left things for a little while, Erin might come to her senses. ‘We can’t tell our kids what to do – we have the experience to know when they are walking into walls, but the more you try to stop them, the more they keep walking.’
‘I adore little Billy, but just wish there wasn’t a baby involved. If it was just Erin dealing with her daddy issues for a few months, then I could live with it.’
‘Yeah well, if that’s all it was, she’s still left some twisted wreckage behind,’ I said, pointedly.
‘Sorry, Carly, that was insensitive of me.’
‘No, it’s fine. I just feel like – after everything, I was just getting my life back. Having the police search my house, question me for hours and accuse me of attacking Erin, plotting with Mark…’ I left that hanging on the line. If we were ever going to be friends again, I had to make her and her selfish daughter realise the collateral damage that had been caused.
‘Yes, and I’m sorry you had to go through that, Carly. But in Erin’s defence, being with Mark and having the baby has put her under such stress.’
‘She could have left, Lara, she didn’t have to drag me into it. She deliberately came to see me that night, so she could leave from my home and implicate me. It wasn’t random, she planned it all. She even cut herself so she could leave my bloodied throw on the beach.’
‘I haven’t spoken to her yet, as I said, she hasn’t come home, but when she does we’ll have a long talk,’ she said, like that would make any difference. ‘Carly, I hope you can forgive her, she’s been through so much, vile parcels in the post, and nasty messages online. She even received this revolting box of spiders… I was with her when she opened it, thinking it was a gift, beautifully wrapped. They all came running out.’ She shuddered audibly. ‘She was a mess!’
I was annoyed at Lara pinning the victim card on Erin, and hadn’t forgotten her words the other day. ‘You virtually accused me of being the one leaving those nasty messages,’ I said, still hurt.
‘No, no, I didn’t, I just asked if you knew about them.’
‘Same thing,’ I said. ‘I assume you thought I’d packed a box of spiders and sent those along too?’
‘I only thought it might be you, because not everyone knows she has a fear of spiders. It has to be someone who knows her.’
‘Yes, well, I think whoever it was, they know me too. I had a parcel delivered – a dead rat… you and Erin both know I’m scared to death of rats, but I haven’t blamed you. And there was weird stuff going on in the house, like someone had broken in. I haven’t had anything happen for a while but—’
‘Oh my God! Really? Sounds like someone you and Erin both know… God, I feel cold just thinking about it. Have you any idea who it could be?’
‘No. It crossed my mind it might be Erin – or Mark. It made sense, they both wanted me to leave the house. I thought they might be trying to scare me… but if Erin was getting stuff too, then God knows who it is.’ I felt a shiver go through me.
I heard Lara sigh. ‘I’m so sorry, Carly, for everything you’ve been through. I’ve been a shit friend, but I had to try and be a good mother and… Yes, if I’m honest, I wouldn’t blame you for sending messages. If someone ran off with my partner, I would; you know how feisty I am.’
‘Yeah, I can only imagine the scenes if someone tried to cross you,’ I said, laughing. ‘But you can rest assured I didn’t send anything to Erin. Besides, you know I hate insects too – I’d be too scared to touch spiders – imagine me trying to get a load of spiders in a box?’ I rolled my eyes. ‘I’d be in therapy for months!’
She laughed at this. ‘Oh Carly! I’ve missed you. Let’s get together? Just you and me? Can’t we put everything aside and be friends again?’
‘I’ve missed you too,’ I said, honestly.
I agreed to meet for coffee very soon, once the dust had settled, because I just knew this wasn’t over, there was more to come.
Erin had played with fire, and I wondered just how she’d be slithering her way out of this one – and what kind of script Mark and Estelle would be writing for her. I didn’t have to wait long to find out, because later, I turned on my phone, and pictures of her were everywhere, along with the headline: ‘Celebrity’s Girlfriend Forced into Hiding in Fear of Vengeful Ex-Wife!’