Forever Mine by Natalie Ann
Get Another Look
“What’s this I hear you dropped off a bunch of pizzas to the local fire station?”
She looked up to see her mother standing in the doorway of her office.
“You’ve got good hearing. How did you find out about it?”
“You know how people talk. Many saw the firetrucks and then wondered what was going on.”
“So they all know my stupidity. That my detector was going off and I changed the battery?”
Her mother walked in and sat down. “It would have gone off again like it did and you would have realized it. But it was scary and you need to be careful. We’ve always worried about you living alone, but it’s better than having Kevin there.”
She laughed. Her mother never made a lot of comments about her ex. Or the fact that Whitney had developed a love of wine for a good year after the divorce. Oh, the times she and Ryan had gotten drunk together. She suspected Ryan was keeping an eye on her, but then wondered if they were watching over each other. She didn’t need her brother beating the crap out of her ex again.
“Very true. And I’ll refrain from making some snarky comment about wanting Kevin in the house when the alarms went off.”
“I’d be arrested for what I wanted to say,” her mother said.
“Probably the same as my thoughts. Anyway, what brought you here today? Couldn’t just be the fact I dropped pizza off.”
“No. Trey is the captain there. He showed up that day,” her mother said.
She wasn’t shocked her mother knew that and didn’t bother to ask her how she found out. “That was his shift,” she said. “He looks good. He always said he was going to be a fireman. I guess I never followed through to see if he did it.”
Part of her was afraid to know. Or afraid to look and see how his life might have turned out with some other woman.
“He always looked hot.”
“Mom!”
“It’s the truth. You were so in love with him back in the day. We liked him and were sorry you guys split, but understood that you were both young and were going your own ways after graduation.”
“Yeah,” she said, looking down at the computer and pretending she was reading an email.
“You were very hurt over that breakup.”
“I was. But as you said, we were young and both moved on.”
“And we won’t talk about how well that worked out for you,” her mom said.
“Maybe not for him either.”
“How so? What did you hear?”
Her mother was getting comfortable. “He’s a single father. Has a ten-month-old little boy named Ben. Spitting image of him. What a doll.”
“I haven’t seen you smile that big in a long time. First of all, how do you know that? And where did you see the baby?”
She’d put her foot in her mouth, but maybe it was nice to talk about this. “When I was there last week with the pizza his sitter called. One of the guys said Trey was a single father. Trey came out and we talked for a few minutes.”
“So that is why you brought the pizza over? So you could get another look at your ex?”
“Maybe.”
“It’s about damn time.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. We talked and then I left.”
“That’s it? Then how did you see his son?”
“I saw him a few days ago at the grocery store. Ben was with him.”
“Ah,” her mother said. “And you got talking. Bet you held the baby, didn’t you?”
Nothing got by her mother. “I did. We exchanged numbers.”
“Whitney, that’s great. So are you going on a date with him again?”
“I doubt it. I said I could be a backup sitter for him. He texted me when I was home that night, but we haven’t talked since.”
Three long days ago. Not that she was counting.
“If you have his number then you should reach out to him. Don’t make him take all the steps. That has always been your problem. You never went after what you wanted. Or are you not sure you want to because of his career and Ben?”
Her mother knew she had been fearful of Trey going into that line of work.
“He looks mighty good in gear and a uniform. I might have been wrong to think what I did.”
Her mother laughed. “Looks aren’t everything.”
“No. But I was young and silly. I guess I was afraid of being alone at night or if something happened. I’m not afraid of being alone anymore and I know anything can happen to anyone at any time.”
“That’s right to both. Again though, you need to go after what you want now.”
She didn’t think that about herself like her mother was saying. “How can you say that I don’t go after things?”
“Trey might have been the only boy you approached that I remember. Kevin made the first move on you and your father and I should have put our foot down more. He was too old for you.”
“I was eighteen,” she said.
“And you’ve always been more mature than most and knew what you wanted. I still think he played you to get what he wanted, but he had us all fooled for those first few years.”
“Let’s not go there again. He was a born salesman and I fell for it.”
“Did you love him?” her mother asked. “Be honest with me. It doesn’t matter the answer, but I just wanted to know.”
“I did. In the beginning he was great. He was sweet and treated me so well.”
“He was a rebound for you from Trey.”
“He was and they are two different people.”
“They are,” her mother said. “We knew you fell for Kevin’s charm, but none of us expected that fast of an engagement. We should have tried to talk you into waiting until you were done with college. Or least pushed for you to stay there and not transfer home after that first semester.”
“It’s in the past and there is no use rehashing it. I’m trying to put it behind me and move on.”
“Or move back with Trey?” her mother asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Is it because of the baby or Trey?” her mother asked.
She sighed. “I went there to see Trey before I knew he had a child, but now I do wonder if he might think it’s because of the baby. He knew how much I wanted to get married and have kids.”
“I think you scared him off, Whitney.”
Might as well be honest. “It was one of the things that came up when he said he needed space. You know that. I told you. Not in those words, but he said I was moving too fast. He had his career lined up and wanted to have fun and I was talking about wedding colors. It was fanciful talk from a romantic girl is all.”
“But was it?” her mother asked.
“It doesn’t matter now. It never came about and I went on to marry someone else.”
“Your father and I tried to control as much as we could even after you were married. I just didn’t have a good feeling about things.”
“Looking back it was a good thing that I couldn’t get the home loan in our name. I hadn’t realized Kevin’s credit was so bad, but he never questioned it when it went through. He didn’t ask how much the house was costing. I think he thought you guys were giving it to us or at a cheap price.”
Her mother laughed. “Which we did, but it still was a big expense that you didn’t need in college.”
She shook her head, remembering that her parents told them to live in one of the townhouses they owned for free while she was in college. She was working part time for the business and Kevin worked full time. He never had any idea of the bills or made payments. He gave her part of his check but made sure they split the bills. What a dick back then when he had so much more than her.
“He thought I was an endless money tree. Or was going to be. If I didn’t have it, he figured I’d get it from you.”
“You allowed him to think that way,” her mother said.
She wasn’t going to tell her mother about the debt Kevin racked up during their marriage and the loans she had to take out, the money she spent on him either. Not just the cars or the clothes. The jewelry he bought her on their shared credit cards she never wanted and ended up paying for. The list was endless.
“In the beginning. I put a stop to it. By doing that I never saw his charges and I wonder if that allowed him to cheat.”
“You don’t know that, Whitney. He treated you like crap almost a year into the marriage. He talked down to you all the time on top of it. He did that in front of us so I can only imagine how bad it was when people weren’t around.”
“No comment.”
“And I’m getting all worked up again thinking of this. So back to Trey.”
“There is nothing to go back to.”
“Do you want there to be?” her mother asked.
“I think I’m willing to explore it.”
“Then step out of your comfort zone and make that move.”
Her mother left after that and Whitney got back to work. But she couldn’t stop thinking of the conversation and pulled her phone out. For all she knew Trey was working so she wouldn’t call, but texting had never been her thing either.
She put her head on the desk, then took a deep breath. Texting was the easy way out. She’d call and leave a message if he didn’t answer. Making that step her mother accused her of never doing.
She hit the button and heard the phone ringing. By the third ring she was trying to figure out what to leave on the message and fighting the urge to hang up when she heard, “Hello.”
“Hi, Trey. It’s Whitney.”
“Yeah, I know. Your name came up.”
There was humor in his voice. “True. Anyway, I was thinking maybe you wouldn’t mind getting dinner some time. With Ben of course. I’m sure you don’t want to find a sitter or ask anyone, but if you want to that is fine too. I mean whatever works for you. I’m flexible. Or not.”
“Take a breath, Whitney.”
Jesus, she was doing it again. She hadn’t done this in years. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Dinner sounds good, but I’m starting my rotation tomorrow. I’ll be working Thursday and Friday days and then Saturday and Sunday night.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize that. Who watches Ben when you’re working nights?”
“Gillian. She lives upstairs from me. If she can’t, my parents will take Ben.”
“That’s nice. So that means you will work the following weekend too, right?” This was a mistake. It would be weeks at this stage before they could go on a date. Why didn’t she think of this?
“Yes,” he said. “Hang on a second.” He put the phone down and she heard muffled voices, then he came back. “Sorry, I’m working with my father right now.”
“Wasn’t your father a fireman too?”
“He was. He retired. He had a plumbing and heating business on the side back then. Now it’s his full-time job and I work it on my days off from the firehouse.”
She remembered that now and should have realized he’d take after his father completely. He even talked about going to trade school to get licensed while he waited to get into the firehouse.
Everyone said she was the planner, but he was too. That was one of the reasons she thought they’d be perfect for each other.
“So you’re working now and are busy. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I was going to reach out, but life gets away from me at times.”
“I’m sure it does. How is Ben? Still drooling?”
“He is. Had a tooth pop through yesterday so I guess you were right.”
“I bet he looks cute with that lone tooth. Hope he didn’t keep you up at night if he was in pain.”
“Nah. He had a little fever but slept through most of it. He’s a great sleeper.”
“That’s good. And I should let you get back to work.”
He laughed. “Before we can set a time for dinner?”
“Oh, you want to?”
“Sure,” he said. “If you don’t mind doing it during the week; otherwise, it’s going to be a while.”
“Why don’t you tell me what works for you.”
“I finish my rotation Sunday night. Monday or Tuesday sound good?”
“It does,” she said. “Why don’t I cook for you and Ben?”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” he said.
“I offered. I promise the house is safe, but you can bring that detector again to double check.”
“I’m sure it’s fine. There is no way your family would let you back in the house if it wasn’t. And I even know where you live,” he said.
“Which is more than I can say about your place.”
“My place isn’t anything special,” he said quietly.
Here they went again. She remembered he had a lot of uncertainty when they were dating. Funny how Trey always worried that he didn’t measure up and Kevin took advantage when he didn’t even come close to being as worthy as Trey was.
“I’m sure your place is a wonderful home for Ben,” she said.
“Yeah. Well, I’ve got to go. I’ll be in touch.”
“Bye, Trey,” she said, hanging up and putting her phone to her chest like she did as a teen when she was done talking to him.
No, no. Not going there again. He was her first love. Her first heartbreak.
Having dinner with him and talking didn’t mean she was going to let herself get carried away again.
No way. Never again.