Curvy Girls Can’t Date Best Friends by Kelsie Stelting

Forty-One

Callie

When I walked into the house after work, my dad was in the living room watching the news. At the sight of me coming inside, he hit the mute button and twisted on the couch. “How was your day, kid?”

“Long.” I dropped my purse off my shoulder and set it by the door. Thank goodness Mom was at her book club because she would have called me on it.

“Want to watch some Bake Off?” he asked. “That always cheers your mom up.”

“Definitely,” I answered. Honestly, it didn’t matter what was on. I just needed to be around the one man who’d never let me down. “I'm just going to go upstairs and shower off real quick, then I'll be back.”

He nodded and flicked the sound back on. I went up to my room, dropped my dirty clothes in the hamper, and rinsed off, tying my hair in a knot above my head. Hearing from Rory earlier about Carson had really caught me off guard.

Apparently, Beckett had told her that Carson was really torn up—blisters all over his feet, a massive welt on his face, and eyes red from crying. He’d just left Beckett’s house with his things and no explanation of where he was going or when he’d be back. But he still hadn’t texted me. Still hadn’t told me why he’d ended things without saying a single word.

Not knowing where he was felt like having a piece of myself missing. I worried if he was okay...if he was thinking of me. My eyes stung with unshed tears, and I blinked them back, busying myself with applying my psoriasis cream instead. How long could I cry over someone who left me without a second thought? A second chance?

Forever, the pain in my chest told me.

Which meant I had to learn to live with it, because my dad was waiting for me, and I didn’t want him to see me fall apart then blame Carson. Part of me still felt protective over Carson, wanted my family to love him like they always had.

When I finished dressing and had some semblance of composure, I went downstairs. Once I settled on the couch next to my dad, he put his arm around me, and I cuddled into him like I always did when I was younger.

We decided to watch an episode on cookies, and he set the remote down as it played. The lump in my throat grew, but I swallowed it back, overwhelmingly grateful to have the dad I did. Living next door to Carson and seeing how much he and his sisters struggled with their own father made me appreciate mine that much more. I never had to worry about him ignoring me, much less endangering my mom or brother in any way.

I looked up at him, at his clean-shaven face and bushy eyebrows. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, kid.” He smiled softly and placed a kiss atop my head. “How’re you doing?”

“I’ve been better,” I said honestly.

He nodded. “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” I pointed toward the TV. “Who do you think’s going to win the first challenge?”

He pointed at a guy on the right side of the screen. “That one has great flavor, but that one has excellent presentation. If you put them together, they'd be as good as your mother.”

I smiled and shook my head. My mom definitely was not bake-show material, but I loved the way Dad supported her behind her back and teased her to her face. That was the kind of love I wanted to have someday. The kind of love I thought I’d had with Carson.

“I heard you found your mom some contestants for her cookie fundraiser.”

I shrugged. “Some of my friends agreed to help out. No big deal.”

“Maybe,” he said, “but you didn't have to, and that makes it that much more special. I’m proud of you, Cal.”

“If you keep being nice to me, I’m going to cry,” I replied, half-joking, half-honest.

After squeezing me, he lifted the remote and turned the volume up a couple notches so we could get lost in the show. As I sat with him, I thought about Carson, and no matter how much I tried to focus on the mouthwatering food on the screen, or that my dad had praised me, I just couldn't get him off my mind. Couldn’t stop seeing the glazed look in his eyes as he towered over his dad.

I wanted to remember Carson as my friend, not as the guy who broke my heart.

But how was that possible when my chest ached with every breath? When my hand felt empty without his holding it?

Dad offered me the remote, and I blinked at the screen, realizing the show was over. Rather than sit in front of the TV and not watch another episode, I kissed my dad on the cheek and went up to my room. Which was completely pointless because I just ended up lying awake in bed, hoping for the thoughts of Carson to stall.

They did. Hours later when sleep finally came.

* * *

The doorbell rang, and Franklin danced around my feet, barking loudly.

“Can you get the door?” Mom asked me Friday afternoon. I was making a test round of cookies for the bake-off with Mom’s supervision. She had just shown me how to roll out the cold dough, and she had grease and flour on her hands.

All week, I’d found ways to occupy my mind—to avoid my friends. I couldn’t handle the thoughts of Carson that always plagued me, especially with his absence so palpable. His name always used to top the messages in my phone, but now it wasn’t even on the opening screen. His spot on the couch had remained empty. And my heart? Still broken.

I wiped my hands on my apron and walked to the door with Franklin on my heels. I tried to shush him as I swung it open, but there was no need once he saw Rory and the other girls.

He gave a final yap before running to Rory and jumping on her legs.

Me on the other hand? I was less than thrilled. “What are you guys doing here? I told you I was cooking with my mom.”

Jordan narrowed her eyes. “Callie, how long do you think you can avoid us?”

My cheeks heated as I bent to gather Franklin. “I’m not avoiding you. I’m just busy.”

Zara pursed her lips together. “So your schedule just happened to get slammed the week after your broke up with your boyfriend.”

“That’s right.” I began stepping backward and closing the door. “Sorry, don’t want my cookies to burn.”

From behind me, my mom called, “I’ve got them!” at the same time Ginger’s hand stopped the door.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

“You can’t ignore us forever,” Ginger said softly. “Or your feelings.”

“Come inside,” I finally said.

Rory stepped forward and took me in a hug that almost had me falling apart. I’d only really dated Carson for an afternoon, but every time I closed my eyes, I could see him. Carson hurting his dad. Carson kissing me so tenderly. Carson laughing. Carson running away. How did the same person hold so many emotions in my heart?

Franklin yapped at us, and we broke apart, Rory smiling gently and me wiping at my eyes.

Franklin jumped into her arms, and I turned back toward the kitchen, where my mom was watching it all unfold. Before I had a chance to speak, she said, “Why don’t you girls go upstairs? I’ll teach you another time, Cal.”

I nodded thanked her before heading to my room with my girls. But now that we were all spaced around with Franklin happily dancing between us for extra pets and cuddles, I had no idea what to do.

I told them as much, and Zara said, “That’s fine. We’re here for you, whatever you need.”

I looked toward the ceiling, fighting tears. “Tell me about your jobs? Life? Anything?”

Jordan jumped in first, telling me she signed up for CNA classes to get hands-on experience in patient care. She would start in the next couple of weeks. Rory had met her college roommate online, and they’d been video chatting to get to know each other. Ginger was hard at work, creating marketing videos for Ray’s family’s ranch, and Zara had already handled difficult actors on the set of her film.

The summer was halfway over, and they’d already accomplished so much. Meanwhile, I had a heartbreak under my belt and nothing to show for it.

A soft knock sounded on my door, and Franklin ran to it, yapping.

“It’s just me,” Mom said, poking her head in. She swung the door open wider, revealing a full platter of cookies. “Thought you girls might like a snack.” Mom set the platter on my desk, along with a stack of napkins.

Ginger stood from her spot on my bed and went to the desk. “These are adorable, Anne.”

Mom smiled so wide her face almost looked like it could split in two. “You think so?”

Ginger took a bite and through a mouthful of crumbs said, “Yeah, and so delicious.”

Jordan picked a cookie from the platter and added, “You're definitely winning the cookie competition.”

“I'm not entering,” my mom said. “That would definitely be a conflict of interest, but I'm excited to see what you girls come up with.”

Zara gave her a wink. “Is it too late to get your secret recipe?”

Mom waved her finger in the air. “That is between me, God, and Pinterest.”

I laughed. “So, check your Pinterest boards. Got it.”

Mom gave me an amused smile and said, “I'll let you girls hang out.” She shut my bedroom door behind her, leaving the five of us alone. We were quiet for a little bit as she plodded down the stairs.

Ginger broke her cookie in half and took a big bite of it. “These really are good. Ray's mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies, but these might have them topped. Actually...” She reached into her big purse and pulled out a container of chocolate chip cookies. “I thought you might need some comfort food.”

My heart ached at how spot-on she was.

Zara laughed. “Great minds think alike because...” She got five small frosting containers out of her purse.

“No way!” Rory said. She took out a big bag of fancy chocolates.

We all turned our eyes on Jordan, who blushed and reached into her own bag. “I brought some donut holes from the bakery.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. My friends knew me well, but they didn’t understand that this wasn’t a breakup like the movies, where you could stuff your face with ice cream and move on. Carson had been a part of my life since I was ten years old. We rode to school together, attended our first party together, sat at lunch together—he’d been my everything, but he’d made me his nothing.

My laugh turned into sobs, and I put my face in my hands. Each of my friends crossed the room, trying to comfort me, but nothing could change the way my heart constantly felt like a ball of broken glass. Every breath I took only made the pain worse.

As my sobs subsided, Zara asked gently, “What happened? We were all at the beach, and then I’m seeing online that it’s over. You two seemed so happy.”

“We were,” I agreed. But I was tired of lying—tired of hiding. These girls had been here for me through it all, and it was time I told them the truth. They listened quietly as I told them how my relationship with Carson actually started this summer. That it was a ploy to get someone else. I kept my eyes on the tan carpet as I spoke, hating to think of the betrayal that would show on their faces.

“But somewhere in the pretending, it became real, for both of us,” I said shakily. “I gave him my whole heart.” Tears spilled over my cheeks, and Ginger rubbed my shoulder.

“So he broke up with you after you said you’d be with him?” she asked. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why would he do that?”

My throat was raw as I said, “Because when he needed me, I backed away.” If I could go back and do it over, I’d have called the cops, would have punched Carson’s dad myself for hurting Carson and Gemma. How could I blame Carson for fighting back and taking out his anger against someone who had caused his family so much pain? I’d just been surprised, scared at the side of Carson I’d never seen before. But deep down, I knew his heart was good. He’d been my best friend for eight years. After all that time, I knew him. Knew that he would never do anything to hurt the people he loved.

As I told them about Carson’s home life, their mouths fell open in mirroring images of shock and horror.

Zara covered her mouth with her hand. “I never would have guessed... He was always so happy.”

My heart broke even more, seeing their initial reaction. Carson had suffered so privately. “He was always the light for everyone else that he needed for himself.”

Ginger shook her head, rubbing my shoulder. “What are you going to do to get him back?”

“He made it pretty clear,” I said, staring at the wall across from me. “He doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I should have just followed through on my plan to be with Nick.”

Rory tilted her head toward me, making her dark curls spill over her shoulder. “You know it wouldn’t work. You don’t feel for him like you do for Carson.”

“Maybe that’s good,” I said, picking the icing off my cookie. “Because if caring about someone like I do for Carson makes me feel like this, I never want to feel like this again.”

“Come on, Callie.” Jordan pursed her full lips. “You’re the most caring person I know. You’re practically a saint, for crying out loud.”

“I’m not though!” I argued, standing. They each looked at me in shock, but I didn’t care. “Everyone thinks I’m so perfect, but I’m not. I sprayed Merritt with a hose. I lied to you. Made up a fake relationship to manipulate a guy. Broke my best friend’s heart. Can’t you see that I’m...I’m...” My voice cracked, and tears flooded my eyes. “I’m nowhere near good enoughfor my best friend.”

Jordan stood and pulled me into a hug, holding me together. “We’re here for you. Whatever you need.”

“I need to stop thinking about him,” I said through my snivels.

Full of purpose, Zara nodded. “Let’s go out tonight then. Do you guys know of anything going on?”

I put my chin in my hand. “I was going to go to Nick’s poetry reading tonight, but...”

“But what?” Zara asked. “No matter how much it feels like your heart is coming out of your chest, you’ve got to live your life. Maybe going to this reading will be exactly what you need. You have to try. Life’s too short to give up now.”

Knowing how much Zara had lost in her short life made her words mean that much more. I reached out for her hand, and she gripped mine back.

“I’ll do it on one condition,” I said.

“Anything,” Zara agreed.

“Will you guys come with me?”

They all nodded, and with a grin, Zara said, “Of course.”