Heartless Player by R.C. Stephens

Thirty

Rebel

“I should’ve seen this coming,” I say as I pace Holland’s bedroom. I wanted to go home after the party, but she brought up the fact that Wolfe may try to go to my house and explain himself, and I don’t want to ever see him again.

“How could you?” Holland asks. She walks into her bathroom, which is attached to her bedroom. The door is left open as she takes a wipe and removes her eye makeup. “I honestly thought he’d changed. That he was a good guy.”

“People don’t change. My mama kept hoping Daddy would change, but that’s like asking a zebra to change its stripes,” I say, still pacing. I just feel so deceived. So…

“What did Tiffany say, exactly?”

“That Wolfe has a sister with a disability.”

“All I know is that girl is one jealous bitch,” Holland snarls.

“I mean, I had a feeling she wanted him, but I can’t even blame her. Wolfe did all the deceiving. To think he was only interested in me because of his sister? I wonder what kind of accident his family was in. Tiffany said Wolfe was responsible.” Bile crawls up my throat.

“How could I be so damn stupid? He said he didn’t talk to his family. That his father had insane expectations of him. I just can’t imagine what he did to hurt his sister. Wolfe was so caring. So thoughtful. He always gave me the feeling that he couldn’t hurt a fly.” I walk over to her bed and sit on the edge and allow my head to fall into my hands. I think of him hiding his last name from everyone and wonder if it’s really because of the accident. It feels like I can’t trust anything that he’s ever said. It could have all been lies. A way for him to ease his guilt for whatever he did to his sister. A part of me wants to Google him. His father is governor; it must be public knowledge. But a part of me says it doesn’t matter. We were a lie. A dirty, disgusting lie.

Holland walks over to me and places her hand on my shoulder. “Maybe you should hear him out?”

My head snaps up. “Do you know how many times we made love? I feel sick. Used. It was all a lie,” I cry.

“But maybe it wasn’t,” she says softly.

“You of all people shouldn’t see the best in a guy like him.” I give her a look of reproach.

She falls onto the edge of the bed beside me. “You know, one of the things I admire most about you is how resilient you are,” she says, throwing me off. I look at her with furrowed brows.

“Seriously,” she continues. “I remember coming to visit you in the hospital after the accident. You looked so weak and broken. What your father did was unspeakable. I would sit by your hospital bed and say to myself, what is Rebel going to do now? She has no father, no mother. Her sister is injured. How is she going to get past this? But you didn’t leave me wondering long. You got out of that hospital bed and started physical therapy. You worked your ass off to become strong again, and you had to learn how to walk all over again. You did all those things with grace and with your chin held high. Blossom was a mess. She stayed in bed and stared out a window, but you got up and you fought. And look at you, Rebel. Two years into your degree. The way you can train and train others. You’re my hero. Sure, you preferred to lay low and not be the center of attention, but that’s okay too. You are beautiful and modest and an amazing friend,” she goes on.

Tears roll down my cheeks. “Stop, you’re going to make my head explode with all the compliments.”

“As long as you get my point. I don’t know what Wolfe’s angle was or is. But I saw the way he watched you tonight when you were dancing with that guy, and I can tell you, the dude was jealous. He looked like a lost puppy.”

“Don’t go taking his side now. He wasn’t honest. I told him about the accident and my life with my father. He should have told me that he was hiding something, but he didn’t. That’s such a copout,” I shout, feeling angry and confused. Despite Wolfe’s lies, I still don’t feel comfortable outing his last name to Holland. Just because he’s a douche doesn’t mean I have to be one.

“Maybe he was scared of losing you. Maybe he saw this beautiful, brave girl and he wanted to find a way to help his sister by getting to know you. That doesn’t mean he didn’t like what he learned about you. He kept on coming back for more,” Holland says.

“Yeah, so he could figure out how to help his sister so he wouldn’t feel guilty for whatever he did to her. And maybe I was some consolation. Like by hanging out with me and getting me to open up, it made him feel better about himself,” I say dejectedly and feel my heart break even more.

“Don’t. Just stop,” Holland demands. “I don’t want you putting yourself down. You’re going to need to talk to Wolfe and hear him out.”

“He didn’t come after me. He hasn’t called. Tiffany was right. He wasn’t into me, because if he were, he would be tracking me down right now.” I can feel an angry flush overtake my cheeks with my outburst.

“I don’t know what to think,” Holland says, eyes sad.

“Would you mind if I take a shower? I want to get this makeup and this dress the hell off me,” I say.

“Go ahead.” She goes to her walk-in closet and returns with a pair of pajamas. She passes them to me and I go into her bathroom. I turn on the shower and remove my prosthesis. I can’t help remembering when I first met Wolfe. He kept offering to give me rides. Was it his guilt?

I’m driving myself crazy just thinking about it. I take a seat on the shower floor and cry as the warm water runs over my body.

When I leave the bathroom, Holland’s bedroom is dark. “You okay?” she asks.

“Not right now, but I will be,” I reply.

“I know,” she agrees.