Made Marian, Volume One by Lucy Lennox
Teddy
I went to sleep thinking about Jamie. How stupid could he be dancing with that asshole at the roadhouse? Didn’t he see how that would be painful? When I saw him lift his arm up, I stood to go get him. That’s when I remembered I wasn’t in charge of him. It wasn’t like I was his boyfriend or his brother or even really a friend. I wasn’t sure he even liked me much. He clearly didn’t appreciate me trying to look out for him, or he wouldn’t have danced with the guy in the first place.
Forcing myself to stay by the table, I threw down cash to cover the bill with a tip. When Jamie started heading my way, I noticed his expression. His eyes were glassy with pain, and he was pale as shit.
He walked toward me cradling his left elbow with his right hand, and I asked him if he wanted to go. A nod and he was out the door. I grabbed our coats and followed.
After he went to sleep that night, I took care of Sister, put away the food I had purchased, and prepped my gear for the following day. I slept better that night after all the fresh air and exercise.
In the morning I climbed down from the loft and dressed in the bathroom. Jamie was nowhere to be found and Sister scratched at the door. Right before opening it to let her out, I noticed both vehicles still in the driveway. Where was Jamie?
I double-checked his bedroom and noticed movement outside his bedroom window. That was when I remembered his rabbit friend. Grabbing my camera and telling Sister to wait a minute, I raced outside and around to the back.
Sighting through my lens before coming around the final bend, I stopped and saw them. Jamie was sitting on the ground with his back against a rough wooden storage box, his legs stretched out in front of him. There was a light layer of snow on the ground so I knew his pants would be wet when he stood up.
The little snowshoe hare sat next to him, facing away from him toward the woods. Jamie slowly placed his hands down flat onto the ground by his hips and the hare turned back to look at him. They sat like that for a minute.
I slowly eased myself down to the ground on my knees. My movement caught his attention and he looked my way. His face lit up, and I instinctively brought a hand up to rub my chest where it suddenly felt tight.
While Jamie was distracted, the hare tentatively put one paw on the back of his fingers. Jamie turned his face around to see and gently rolled his hand around until the paw rested on his palm. The hare placed a second paw next to the first.
Just like the day before, I was amazed to see Jamie’s body language. When he was interacting with an animal, his entire body relaxed. He melted into his surroundings. No wonder the animals weren’t afraid.
Jamie tried to curl his hand into a light fist to feel the fur of the paws. That must have been too much because the hare moved sideways and then hopped onto the top of the box behind Jamie’s head. Jamie just stayed still again and we waited to see what he would do.
I took minuscule steps forward on my knees and got a little closer before lying on my belly and sighting my lens again.
We waited some more. He winked at me. Fuck that man was sexy.
Only the hare’s back end was visible to me beside Jamie’s head, so I was only snapping a few shots while we waited. I hoped to god my shutter caught the wink. I noticed his hair was messy from sleep. He had on a navy blue fleece with the collar popped up under his hair. I saw chest hair peeking out from the open neck of the fleece, and he had green plaid flannel pajama pants on. The skin on his face was flushed with cold and his brown eyes were bright between dark lashes. God, he was beautiful. My heart sped up at the sight of him, and my pants suddenly felt snug. I tried telling my hard-on to take a hike, but it wasn’t listening. I shifted my hips to ease the discomfort.
A pinecone or something dropped in the trees off to our right. At the light sound, the rabbit popped its ears up above Jamie’s head and they both turned their faces to seek out the source of the noise. I snapped the moment it looked like Jamie had fake bunny ears on and then the moment the rabbit’s head popped up fully and both faces pointed sideways, looking in the same direction. It was perfection. I prayed the shots would turn out as good as I thought they might.
After another few minutes the bunny took a big leap over Jamie’s shoulder, landed on the snow-dusted grass by his leg, and then turned off into the forest. I tried to get a shot of him in the air but I would have to check the memory card later to see if I got it.
Jamie let out a soft chuckle and got up to brush off his pants.
“Oh my god, I’m frozen.” He laughed. “But I’m glad you came out. I forgot to tell you last night that dusk and dawn are the most common times to see him.”
“Let’s go let Sister out and get you some coffee. She looked like she was going to burst,” I said.
“I already let her out earlier. She was probably just anxious to get to me,” he replied as we walked back inside.
Jamie showered and dressed while I fixed coffee and breakfast for us. I got a text from my dad asking me how I was doing. I responded with a quick message telling him I was working in Denali. While we ate, Jamie told me about the beaver kits he was observing. He mentioned heading over to their dam to see if we could get them to come out and play. He definitely seemed to be trying to give me what I needed for my photos as quickly as he could so I would leave.
I thought about that for a moment and realized it was probably for the best. I was really starting to like him too much, and if there was one thing I didn’t do, it was relationships. Fucking? Sure. Dating, nope. I traveled too much to make a relationship work, and I was used to relying on myself anyway.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t tried dating people before, I had. It was just that those attempts always left a big mess behind. Guilt trips for being gone all the time. Feelings of betrayal when a someone cheated on me while I was gone. Loneliness when being far away from someone I wanted to be with. I’d rather just fuck. Way easier that way.
I wanted so badly to sleep with Jamie Marian. Run my mouth over all of his delicious skin and feel his body alongside mine in bed. But he deserved better than another guy who fucked him and left.
