XOXO, Violet by Ginger Li
19Violet
Olivia: OMG Violet. This is so exciting. Piper and I are in the front row. Break a leg.
Micah: We’re in the center section. Mom’s already made friends with the girls next to us. They flew in from Texas BTW.
Piper: You’ll do great. We’re so excited to cheer you on.
Micah: *Thumbs-up*
Olivia: *Thumbs-up* *Thumbs-up*
Micah: *Thumbs-up* *Thumbs-up* Thumbs-up*
Olivia: *Thumbs-up* *Thumbs-up* *Thumbs-up* *Thumbs-up*
Marcus: Could we take an emoji break? You two are blowing up my phone.
Micah: Olivia started it.
Olivia: *talk to the hand emoji*
Marcus: Children. Behave.
Micah: *tears of joy emoji* Yes, mom.
Marcus: Whatever. Vi - I spoke to the conference rep. She’s fine adding more chairs. No issue with the fire code. I’ll send someone to get you when we’re ready to start.
Itook a sip of water from my bottle before placing it on the rickety folding table. While everyone sat outside in the vast conference hall, I was currently hiding in an adjoining side room. I fiddled with the battery pack for the microphone clipped to the collar of my dress before glancing at the clock on the wall. Ten o’clock. Any moment now, I was due to meet my fans face-to-face for the first time.
I rubbed the chunk of amethyst Mom gave me this morning.
I’m amazing. I’m confident. I’m not nervous at all.
Ugh. I groaned and slipped the gem back into my purse. What a bunch of baloney. Truth was, I was about five seconds away from texting Micah and calling the whole thing off.
Feeling light-headed, I took a seat in one of the room’s uncomfortable metal folding chairs and placed my head between my hands.
Breathe, Violet. This is it. YouCon.
I’d planned on attending ever since I decided to self-publish my own plant book. This was meant to be one of the culminating experiences of my YouTuber career, the day I finally revealed my identity. I’d spent so long hyping up the conference on my channel and social media platforms. It had felt as though this day would never come.
Now here I was. Head down. And freaking terrified.
My skin felt cold and clammy. I closed my eyes and tried breathing in through my nose and exhaling through my mouth, but the light-headedness persisted. It was as if my lungs had a giant hole in them. I clutched my stomach and fought to calm my racing thoughts.
How will I go out there? I can’t do this.
The door opened. My mother, I assumed, wondering how I was doing. I tried to steady my breathing, embarrassed for her to see me like this.
A hand rubbed my back. “Breathe, Vi. Just breathe.”
That voice.
My eyes snapped open. I slowly raised my gaze, creeping up a pair of gray joggers and a black T-shirt stretched across muscular shoulders until I reached a pair of sea-blue eyes staring at me, filled with worry. I swallowed, trying to fight the panic threatening to take over.
Wesley’s gaze softened. “Do you want me to get Olivia? Or your mom?”
“No. I don’t w-want them to see me like this. I—”
Wait. What’s he doing here?
“You knew?” I whispered.
Wesley removed his hand from my back and flashed me a lopsided grin. “Ophelia guessed first. It was your daisy ring. Yours and SPG’s rings have crystals, but the ones sold online have metal centers.”
That explained why she’d kept staring at it the other day. Wes wasn’t joking when he called her a superfan.
“Violet?” The concerned look returned to his face. “You’re kind of pale. Should I get someone?”
With shaky hands, I reached for my bottle and sipped my water, trying to lubricate my dry throat. “I-I don’t know if I can pull this off. Everybody’s expecting someone amazing. And all they’ll g-get is me.”
Wesley sat on a nearby chair and brought his face closer to mine. I found myself noticing all the minute details I hadn’t before. The ring of darker blue around his irises. And the faint patch of freckles across his nose.
“Violet, do you remember what I told you when you first started tutoring me?”
A chuckle escaped me. “Of course. I’m beautiful, intelligent, and funny.”
“Exactly,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye. “You’re about to step into a roomful of people who love and support you. Your Wallflowers can’t wait to meet you. So come outside and introduce yourself. You’ll find yourself amongst friends.”
Someone knocked on the door, and Micah entered the room. “The YouCon rep’s about to start.”
Hold on a second. My eyes darted between my brother and Wesley. Why wasn’t Micah surprised to find Wesley here? “Y-you knew about Wes?”
Micah rolled his eyes. “Course I did. I’m surprised you didn’t figure that out sooner. And everyone always thinks you’re the smarter twin.”
Wesley stood and gave me a reassuring smile. “I’ll see you outside.” He walked past Micah, who gave him a bro-nod.
Wow. How times had changed. But I’d unravel all of that later. Right now, I had a speech to give. Feeling like a newborn colt, I clambered to my feet and straightened my cacti-print dress.
Micah’s eyes followed me as I walked toward the door, but just as I was about to step outside, he placed a steady hand on my arm. “Remember, Vi. You say the word, and we’ll jet. I’ll always have your back. We can leave Marcus to deal with the aftermath.”
Oh boy. Wouldn’t that send my control freak of an older brother off the deep end? “Thank you,” I said, meaning it. Micah could be a jerk, but I knew that he’d always be in my corner. “But I got this.”
I stood a little taller as we headed down the narrow hallway. Before entering the conference room, I stopped, and Micah gave my hand a squeeze then left to return to the others.
From where I stood, I could glimpse the first couple of rows of attendees and Micah making his way over to sit with my folks. Behind them sat Joy and the boys. I tried to find Piper and Olivia, but at that moment, a girl with bright bubblegum-pink hair walked to the front of the room.
“Hello, everyone! My name is Becca Delantes, and I’m here representing YouTube. As you all know, Shy Plant Girl is an amazing content creator and we are so proud to celebrate her today as one of our own.” Becca went on to give an overview of my channel’s history, then continued with statistics about my followers and my channel’s growth throughout the years.
I twisted the ring on my finger. While I didn’t enjoy being the center of attention, hearing all these details again was a real eye-opener.
Becca was right. I’d started this channel from nothing and grown it into a business that would help put my brothers and me through college. Plus, I’d connected with plant lovers from all over the world. My accomplishments were something to celebrate.
“And now, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to the woman of the hour, the one you’re all here to see today… Shy Plant Girl.”
As the room erupted in cheers, I turned on my microphone and stepped forward, smiling brightly, ready to greet my online friends and family.
The smile stayed on my face as I waved and scanned the room. All two hundred seats were filled and the audience consisted mainly of women plus a handful of men, many of them wearing my merch. When I spotted Chase and his mother seated near the back, Chase’s eyes met mine and widened.
Mrs. Sorenson waved a bright red handkerchief in my direction, a giant grin lighting up her face. And then I found my friends a couple of rows away. Ophelia, Piper, and Olivia were all screaming and taking photos. Wesley sat on the other side of his sister, a smile lighting up his handsome face as he gazed at me, full of pride…and something more.
I swallowed hard, my cheeks heating.
Okay, scary talk first. Love later.
Wait. Love?
“W-welcome, everyone. My name is Violet Reyes, and for the past four years, you’ve known me as Shy P-plant Girl. I thought I’d start off today’s talk with a little demonstration. One of my favorite things to do is creating succulent arrangements.” I walked over to the pots and succulent cuttings I planned on using.
The audience was so quiet I could practically feel the weight of everyone’s stare. Used to being invisible at school, it was unnerving standing in front of people interested in knowing me.
“S-succulents are amazing because you can take a cutting off one and place it in soil to create a completely new plant.” I paused before scooping dirt into my pot. My love of plants wasn’t the only thing that made me Shy Plant Girl. My experiences in middle school had pushed me to start my channel in the first place. Because it felt like I didn’t have a community in real life, I’d sought one online.
A lightbulb went off in my mind. For everyone here to truly know me and my channel, they wouldn’t just need to hear me talk about plants—they’d need to know my past. I’d wanted to come out today as Shy Plant Girl, but now, seeing the large audience in front of me, I realized I had the opportunity to share something personal. And perhaps my experiences would help someone else.
“I was g-going to start off by t-telling you how much I love succulents and then lead into the process behind writing and shooting photographs for my book, but now that I’ve seen you all, I’ve changed my mind. Before I begin, I think you should know why I started my YouTube channel. When I was in junior high, I was bullied quite a bit.”
After telling them about my serious stuttering problem when I was younger and how I’d battled that through speech therapy, I shared how those speech issues had led to my shyness in middle school.
“Things got really bad in eighth grade. There was this boy I liked, JR. Whenever I saw him, I’d get so n-nervous that I’d turn red and stutter.”
My hands trembled, and I gripped the table in front of me, trying to steady them. “One day, JR slipped a note into my locker saying that he liked me too. I was over the moon that someone as popular as him would like someone like me.”
My eyes found Wesley’s in the crowd andI felt a surge of bravery, inspiring me to go on.
“JR invited me to our school’s Valentine’s Day dance. I was so excited; I went the whole nine yards. Bought a beautiful dress. Had my mom do my hair and makeup. And on the night of the dance, I waited for him to pick me up.”
My eyes met my mother’s, and I could see the pain in her face. She remembered how excited I was and what happened afterward.
“Seven o’clock came and went. Seven thirty passed. S-seven forty-five, and still I’d heard nothing. JR never showed up. I tried calling him, but he didn’t pick up. I wanted to call it a night, but my brother Micah encouraged me to go on my own. He convinced me not to let my beautiful dress go to waste. Told me I could still dance with my friends.”
I swallowed hard, fighting to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. “When I got to the dance, I found JR dancing with another girl. He said that he’d only asked me out as a joke. That he didn’t like me. That he would never like a girl who wore funny clothes and s-s-stuttered. I was so embarrassed and heartbroken that I left.”
Someone in the crowd gasped, and I took a deep breath before forcing myself to continue, “I thought that was it. But next week at school, JR and a bunch of his friends began teasing me. They made fun of the way I d-d-dressed and the way I spoke. They called me ‘weirdo’ and ‘s-stupid.’ The bullying escalated, and they began tripping and pushing me in the stairwells.”
I swallowed hard, trying to steady my voice. “I didn’t tell anyone what was going on. Eventually, I stopped talking, and when my parents found out what happened, they took me out of school and homeschooled me for the rest of the year. The following September, I started high school in another district.”
Giving the crowd a small smile, I wiped away the tears that trickled down my cheeks. “But this is where the story gets better because this is where all of you come in. While I was at home, I watched a ton of YouTube videos, and my family encouraged me to start a channel And that’s how my journey began.”
“I k-kept my identity hidden because I was afraid that the bullies from my past would find me online. But you know what? I’m not afraid anymore. I am so grateful for each and every one of you here and for all the fans who couldn’t make it today. You’ve become an extended family to me. You believed in me when I didn’t think there was anything to believe in. And for that, I will always be grateful.”
As I glanced around the room, I noticed people dabbing at their eyes. Becca walked over and offered me a box of tissues. I grabbed one and wiped face and blew my nose. Loudly. Forget decorum. I was amongst friends.
The rest of my talk went off without a hitch. The audience laughed at my jokes. And at the end, they asked me tons of questions, some about plants, some about my book, but most wanted to thank me for sharing my story. Their overwhelming support touched me. And when it came time for me to sign books and pose for pictures, Marcus and Becca leaped into action, helping streamline the process.
By the time I’d finished signing the last book, my wrist ached so much I wasn’t sure I’d be able to write again for a couple of days. I slouched back in my chair and stared out into the almost empty room, feeling emotionally drained but incredibly happy.
“Violet?”
I looked up to see Chase staring down at me.
The muscles in my legs and arms protested as I slowly stood. “Hey. You’re not wearing your glasses.”
He lifted his hand as if to adjust his frames but stopped when he realized they weren’t there. “Yeah. They broke. To be honest, I don’t actually need glasses. I only wear them because they go with my outfits.”
Although that surprised me, I could see his point. The plastic-rimmed frames did fit his T-shirt and skinny jeans aesthetic.
“Cool. Did your mother want something else signed?”
Chase shook his head. “I wanted to check in about tomorrow.”
That’s right. We were supposed to go out tomorrow. Caught up in all the preparations, I’d almost forgotten. Maybe I should just cancel. Instead of answering Chase, I searched the handful of people left in the room until I found Wesley. He was talking to Olivia and Piper. Our eyes met briefly, and he gave me a jerky nod before returning his attention to the girls.
Wes was the one who’d suggested I still try going out with Chase, who’d told me I owed it to my past self to give it a shot.
Okay, Past Violet, this is for you.
“Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.”
Chase’s eyes lit up. “Do you like hamburgers? We could meet at Beach Burgers at noon.”
“Sounds great.” The best I could offer him was a watery smile. Hopefully, the restaurant had chicken or vegetarian options.
“Awesome. I’ll see you there.”
He walked away and I tried to will the feelings that I used to have. But it was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. Nothing.
I looked around the room again, hoping to talk to Wesley. But he and his sister weren’t anywhere. They must have left without saying goodbye.
I was surprised by how much that hurt.
Micah walked over and slung an arm around my shoulders. “How does it feel to know that you just delivered a flawless talk in front of a large crowd, and you have new merch dropping next week?”
I forced another smile. “Awesome. Really great.”
“Wow. You’re a terrible liar. What’s up, Vi? Why do you look like someone just overwatered favorite succulent?”
“Chase and I are going out tomorrow for burgers.” I paused, waiting for Micah to say something. My twin knew how much I hated burgers.
Instead, he surprised me. “That’s great, Vi,” he said quietly. “I hope your date with Chase is everything you ever wanted.”