Dawn by McKayla Box

Chapter 18

We pull into his driveway and all the anger and rage I was feeling has somehow morphed into an avalanche of anxiety. We don’t say a word to one another after I tell him to drive and I stare straight ahead the whole time. He does the same thing. When he shuts off the truck, the silence almost hurts.

“We’re here. Talk.”

“Inside,” he says.

“No, I don’t—”

But he’s already out of the truck.

I sigh and push open my door and get out. I shimmy the rest of the way out of my wetsuit and leave it on the driveway, now painfully aware that I’m just in my swimsuit.

“I don’t have any clothes,” I tell him.

He stops, looks at me, then takes his shirt off, and throws it at me. “Wear that.”

I catch it, then pull it on over my head. I hate that I love that it smells like him.

But I do.

I follow him into the house and into the kitchen. He tosses his car keys on the marble counter and pulls open the fridge. “You want anything to drink?”

“I didn’t come here to drink,” I tell him.

He smirks and pulls a bottle of water from the fridge. He shuts the door and unscrews the cap to the water bottle, taking a long drink from it before setting the bottle on the counter. Then he just looks at me.

“What?” I ask.

“Do you really think I’m fucking around on you?” he asks. “Honestly. Do you really think that?”

The images flash through my mind. The girl in the parking lot. The half-naked girl in his bedroom. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“I’m not fucking around on you,” he says sharply. “Straight up. I’m not, and I wouldn’t, and I won’t ever.”

The way he says it, with such intensity, I want to believe him. I really do. But I’m wary.

Because I know what I saw.

“But you’re right,” he says. “I haven’t told you some things. Some shit that’s going on here. I don’t know why. And I know that sounds like a bullshit excuse, but I just held back. I’m not sure if I didn’t want to bother you with all of this or what, but I didn’t tell you and I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you and nothing super weird is going on.”

“Other than, like, a half-naked chick is in your bedroom,” I say.

He smirks and laughs. “Yeah, that part, I’m still not sure what that was about, but—”

“Trevor? Is that you?”

It’s a girl’s voice and I know before she even walks in that it’s going to be the girl I saw in his room. The voice just sounds like what I expect her voice to sound like.

She walks in from the other end of the kitchen. She’s dressed this time, in a cropped yellow sweatshirt and a pair of gray yoga pants. A pair of tortoiseshell glasses sits on the edge of her nose.

She looks at him, then me. “Oh. Sorry. Didn’t know you weren’t alone.”

“That’s okay,” Trevor says. “This is good.”

“Is it?” I ask, my hackles raised, the anxiety ratcheting up inside of me. “Is it really?”

“Wait,” the girl says hesitantly, looking at me. “You’re her.”

“I’m her?”

“The girl who banged on the window,” she says. “The one that scared the shit out of me. Jesus. I thought someone fired a gun or something. I almost peed myself.”

I don’t apologize because I don’t see the need to. I’m actually glad I scared the shit out of her.

“Sunny, this is Presley,” Trevor says.

Her eyes go wide. “Oh jeez. I didn’t realize you were his girlfriend. I mean, I know you’re his girlfriend, but I didn’t know that was you banging on the window. Shit. Hi.”

I look at Trevor, more confuse than ever.

“Presley, this is Sunny,” Trevor says, sweeping his hand toward her. “Sunny Robinson. My cousin. Who is now staying with us.”

It takes a moment to sink in. “Your…cousin?”

He forces a smile. “Her dad is my dad’s brother. We’re cousins. She’s a year younger than us.”

“I’ve heard so much about you,” Sunny says. “Trevor talks about you all the time.” She winces. “And, shit, I’m sorry. I know you saw me in his room. I was getting ready to take a shower and I couldn’t find any shampoo, so I went down to his bathroom to see if I could find some down there. And then my stupid ex was texting me so I sat down to tell him to fuck off and then…well, then you hit the window.” She holds up a hand and offers a tentative smile. “Hi.”

“Uh…hi,” I mumble. My cheeks flame hot.

Trevor smiles.

Sunny points at the stairs. “I’ll just be in my room. I heard your voice so I was just coming to see what was up, but I’ll let you guys do your thing.” She smiles at me with perfect teeth. “It really is nice to meet you, Presley.”

“Yeah,” I manage. “Same here.”

She waves again and walks out of the room.

Trevor and I stand there in the kitchen for a minute, neither of us saying anything.

I hear a door shut upstairs.

“Does she…live here now?” I ask. “Is she on vacation?”

“She’s staying with us for I don’t know how long,” Trevor says. “Her dad and her mom are getting a divorce and it’s pretty shitty, so she wanted out. My dad said she could stay here. She’s gonna go to Sunset for spring semester.”

“So it will be for awhile,” I say. “Wow. Okay then.”

“So she’s not some chick I’m fucking around with, Pres,” he says. “You believe me now?”

“I believe you that she’s your cousin,” I tell him. “I’m just not sure why you didn’t tell me she was staying here.”

He rubs at his chin. “Like I said, I don’t have a good answer. It was kind of weird that she was moving in. We haven’t been talking a whole lot lately. You and me, I mean.”

“That’s not my fault,” I point out.

“I know it’s not,” he admits. “But I guess it just got easier to set things aside and not tell you about them. It wasn’t that I wasn’t going to. I just figured I’d tell you when you got home. I didn’t want to try and explain everything over text because I knew it would all just sounds weird.”

“Did you think I’d be mad or something?”

“No. I just…I don’t know.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I think I’ve gotten in the habit of keeping things to myself. It’s not like before when you were here. It’s different now.”

“I didn’t want it to be different.”

“I know,” he says, nodding. “Me neither. But it is. You have to admit it is. I’m not saying it’s anyone’s fault because I don’t think it is. But it is different.” He shrugs. “I mean, have you really told me every single thing that’s gone on at school? I don’t mean big things. I just mean…everyday stuff.”

I haven’t. I know I haven’t. Some days I forget. Other days I tell myself he won’t care. And he’s not wrong. It does become almost like a habit.

“No,” I admit. “But not on purpose.”

“Exactly,” he says. “I didn’t not tell you about Sunny on purpose. She’s my cousin. I wasn’t trying to hide her. I guess I just didn’t prioritize telling you about her and I’m sorry about that. I fucked that up. But I also didn’t plan on you seeing her in my bedroom before I told you she was here.”

“You could’ve told me when we came here after the bonfire,” I tell him.

“Yeah, but I was occupied,” he says. “With you. I wasn’t thinking about her or other shit I had to tell you. I was thinking about you.”

The anxiety that has my stomach in knots loosens its hold a little.

Sunny is his cousin.

Yes, he should’ve told me, but it’s not the end of the world, and I don’t think it was a lie, either.

So I feel better about that.

But not about everything.

“Okay,” I say. “Your cousin is living here. Good to know. I’m glad she has a place to live. That’s cool.” I pause. “But it doesn’t explain—”

“I know,” Trevor says. “And that’s going to be a little harder to talk about.” He eyes me. “Because I can’t tell you everything.”