Dawn by McKayla Box

Chapter 4

My phone is vibrating like it’s about to blow up.

I’m flat on my back on my bed and I peel my eyes open.

I guess I did need a nap.

I fumble for my phone and see Bridget’s name flashing on the screen.

I slide my finger across the glass. “Hey,” I mumble.

“Where are you?” she asks, not even bothering with a greeting. “I’m outside your front door and I’ve been ringing the bell for like ten minutes.”

“Shit,” I tell her. I’m wide-awake now. “Hang on. I’m coming.”

I push off the bed and run out of my room to the front door, yanking it open. “Sorry. I fell asleep and—”

But I don’t get anything else out because she swallows me in a massive bear hug, nearly squeezing the life from me.

It feels good to be hugged.

Really, really good. Kyra and I are friends, but it’s nothing like this.

I hug her back.

She lets out a squeal and then finally lets go of me. “I was ready to break a window.”

“Sorry. I passed out on my bed after lunch. What time is it?”

“Like, four,” she says. “And I’m kind of offended you didn’t text me the second you got home. What the hell, bitch?”

I laugh. “I know. I’m sorry. But you’re here now. Come in.”

We land on the sofa. She looks good. Happy. The same, but different somehow. She’s got a red Stanford hoodie on and denim shorts. Her tan is mostly gone, but her hair’s a little longer than it was at Thanksgiving. We text nearly every day, but seeing her in person, it feels like I haven’t seen her in ages.

“I honestly thought you’d be with Trevor,” she says. “I was about to try him.”

“Oh. Well…no.”

Her brows furrow. “What’s that mean?”

“I…I genuinely don’t know,” I tell her. “Probably nothing. We just haven’t connected. He said he’d see me tonight at some party at the beach?”

“Yeah, the big bonfire reunion thing,” she says. “Maddie and Gina will be there, too.” She eyes me. “So you aren’t seeing him before?”

I shake my head. “He said he’s doing something with Brett.”

“But things are good, right?”

I shrug. “Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. We’re just out of sync. We haven’t seen each other in so long and I think I’m just sort of insecure about it. I’m sure it’s fine.”

“I’m sure it is, too,” she says, nodding. “It’s hard when you’ve been gone and he’s been here and all that.”

“Yeah,” I say, then wave a hand in the air. “Enough about that. How are you?”

She laughs. “You know how I am. We talk every day.”

“I know, but it feels like that’s what I’m supposed to say when we’re sitting together for the first time in months.”

“I saw you at Thanksgiving.”

“For like an hour,” I remind her. “Then you had to ditch me for your family and you were only home for two days.”

She makes a face. “I know. It was totally rushed. But we’re home for a month now. A whole month. I have some reading to do for spring, but other than that, I’m all yours.”

“Reading? Already?”

She shrugs. “You know me. I’m already planning ahead and trying to get a jump on my classes. I got hold of a syllabus.”

“Of course you did.”

“Stanford is freaking hard,” she says. “I’m not like a brainiac there. I’m…normal.”

I laugh. “You’ve always been normal.”

“Thanks. I think. But you know what I mean. It’s hard. I’ve never worked so hard in my life.”

“You told me you had a 4.0 for the fall semester.”

“Well, I did, but it wasn’t easy.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”

We both laugh. It feels good to sit with her and laugh. It feels normal. I’ve missed moments like these with her, just sitting around and laughing.

“It’s not whatever,” she says. “I feel pressure like every single day. Everyone is smart. Everyone has these amazing goals. It’s hard to just breathe sometimes because I feel like if I let up for even a second, I’ll fall behind.”

“You won’t,” I tell you. “I know you won’t.”

She leans back in the sofa and sighs. “I hope not. I just didn’t expect it to be so exhausting.”

“Well, now you’re on break,” I remind her. “So even if you have work to do, you can take a breath.”

She forces a smile. “Yeah. I’ll try. But you know that’s not me.”

I do know. “I’ll do my best to make sure you remember to breathe.”

She laughs and hugs one of the couch pillows to her chest. “What do you think tonight’s gonna be like?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” she says. “I mean, I know it’s a tradition. The bonfire. Everyone shows up and catches up. And there are definitely people I want to see, you know? But…do you think it’s going to be weird?”

“I mean, I didn’t even know about it until a little bit ago,” I admit. “So I haven’t really given it much thought. We haven’t been gone that long. It’s not like our ten-year reunion or anything. Now, that might be weird.”

“I guess that’s what I mean,” she says. “It’s like we haven’t even been gone long enough for anything to have really changed.”

I shrug. “If that’s the case, then I’m not sure why it would be all that weird. And, yeah. We all left in August. That was only four months ago. Not really enough time for people to really change.”

She nods slowly, her lips pursed.

“Bridge?” I ask.

She looks at me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. “What are you worried about?”

She takes a deep breath and exhales. “Worried is the wrong word. I don’t even know the right word. It’s just that I keep thinking about last summer. And Jake.”

Hearing Jake’s name is like getting poked with a sword right in the ribs. It’s not that I don’t think about him. I think about him all the time. I remember the night he was killed in the fight. I remember the paddle out for him after. I remember how terrible all of it was and how much we all miss him.

But those things are usually in my head, and hearing his name out loud brings it all into very sharp focus.

“It’s just with a bonfire and being down at the beach and all that shit,” Bridget says. “I was thinking about it on the plane. It will be really weird without him there. Seeing all of these people from high school and he won’t be there.” She frowns. “I don’t know. It made me sad thinking about being down there without him.” She looks at me, her eyes glistening with tears. “He was our friend, Pres.”

I scoot over and put an arm her. She leans her head on my shoulder.

“He was our friend.” I echo her words. “And what happened…shit. I don’t know that I’ll ever get over that. Like, ever.” I pause, thinking. “But we can’t not do things because of what happened. He’d be the first person to tell us that.” I laugh softly. “Can you imagine if he thought we were bailing on a party because he wasn’t here?”

She laughs. “Oh my god. He’d freak.”

I nod. “He would definitely freak. So, I think the best thing we can do is go and have a good time. And always remember him.”

She wipes at her eyes and lifts her head from my shoulder. “Always remember him. Yeah.”

“We’ll have a drink in his memory,” I say.

“That might be nice,” she says. “I’ll be the boys would like that. Not that they need an excuse to have a drink.”

I smile. “That’s for sure.”

She pats my leg. “Thanks. For not thinking I’m a giant baby.”

“I miss him, too,” I tell her. “I really do. It’s not just you. And it might be a little weird. But we’ll be okay.”

She smiles and nods. “Yeah. Maybe even a little bit like old times.”

I think about not seeing Trevor yet.

I think about the weird text conversation I had with him earlier.

I think about everything.

I force a smile. “Yeah. Maybe.”