From Rags to Kisses by Shana Galen
III
He was following her. He’d been following her for the last quarter hour, and no matter what she did, she couldn’t lose him. She was late meeting Aidan behind the Brown Bear, and she’d be later still because she didn’t want to lead him there. It was bad enough he was after her. She didn’t want Aidan in any danger.
“Oh, Jenny, my love!” he called, his voice sickly sweet and thick with drink. Sometimes he was in a good mood when he was drunk. And sometimes not. She couldn’t predict what he’d do or whose side he’d be on from one moment to the next. And she didn’t want to try.
A couple of years ago, Jenny had made the mistake of stopping in to see her ma. She told her to stay away. Her father planned to do her in.
It didn’t matter why. The trespass was probably something in his mind. But he’d do it if given half a chance.
She started down a dark alley, made more shadowy because of the stone supports built to shore up the buildings on either side. It was either the alley or emerge into the open, where her father could easily catch her. At the end of this short lane was a wall she could climb that led to another warren of alleys and her best hope for losing him. Drunk and a good sixteen years her senior, she didn’t think he’d be able to manage the climb.
“There ye are!” came his voice, and Jenny jumped at how close he was. She turned and moved sideways toward the wall.
“I can’t talk right now, pa. I ‘ave to be somewhere.”
“Looking for yer fancy man, are ye?”
“ “E’s not a fancy man. ‘E’s as poor as the rest of us.”
“Talks like a fancy man.” Her father stumbled toward her, and Jenny resisted the urge to run. If she ran, he’d start running too. “Did ‘e put a babe in yer belly yet?”
“No.”
“And ‘e won’t neither. Not after I’m done with ye. Little ungrateful bitch.” He lunged for her, and Jenny couldn’t resist any longer. She ran, reaching the wall in a matter of seconds and scrambling up it.
But she wasn’t fast enough. Richard Tate’s hand clamped on her ankle, and he yanked her down. Before she could punch or scratch at him, his fist slammed into her shoulder. He only missed her face because she dodged to the side. She went down like a sack of flour and looked up as he raised his booted foot to bring it down on her face.
But a blur flashed over her and whatever it was—a giant bird?—landed on her father and they both crashed to the ground. It took Jenny a moment to realize it wasn’t a bird but Aidan. She’d stolen a long black greatcoat, which he’d taken to wearing in all sorts of weather, and it had flapped out behind him like a great crow’s wings when he’d jumped from the wall. Why had he been on the other side? How had he known she needed him?
She pushed up and winced at the sharp pain in her shoulder. Aidan had the advantage for the moment, since he’d landed on top of her father and taken him down. Aidan could definitely defend himself in a fight, but most of the ruffians about had some sense of self-preservation. They’d run if they were outmatched. Richard Tate would fight to the death.
Even as she thought it, her father kicked out, and Aidan doubled over, clutching his belly. Her father rose to his feet. “Good. Now I ‘ave both of ye.” He grasped Aidan’s hair and yanked his head up.
“No!” Jenny yelled.
Aidan’s fist darted out from his midsection and plowed into her father’s face. He stumbled back and Aidan planted a booted foot in the center of his chest, pushing him over. Jenny felt a rush of excitement run through her. They were winning. Aidan had her father down. She stood, and Aidan looked back at her. “Want me to kill him?” he asked, breathing heavily. She noticed he’d withdrawn the dagger he always kept with him from his boot.
He would do it, too. She knew it. Aidan would do anything for her. But as much as she wanted her father dead, she would also do anything for Aidan. And she wasn’t about to let him live with a murder on his soul.
“No,” she said, moving gingerly toward her father who was groaning and trying to sit up. “But we can’t ‘ave ‘im coming for us again.”
She placed her own boot on her father’s chest, holding him down. He looked up at her with eyes the same blue gray as her own. “Kill me, why don’t ye? Always were a coward.”
Jenny lifted her foot and brought it down as hard as she could on his right hand. He screamed as the sound of crunching bones echoed in the dark alley. Aidan stepped back, and Jenny wasn’t sure if he was repulsed or just giving her the space to do as she wanted. She ground the heel of her foot into his hand then bent over him until she was close enough for him to hear her whisper. “That’s for all the times I felt the back of that ‘and,” she said. “That’s for all the times I couldn’t talk because ye split my lip or sleep because my ‘ead ‘urt so bad from yer blows. The next time ye try and take a piss or ‘old a cup, ye think of me. And if ye come for me or ‘im ever again, next time, we won’t be so forgiving.”
She gave him a hard kick in the ribs and walked away. Aidan was already at the wall. At sixteen, he was tall enough that he could just reach up and pull himself over. Jenny had to jump and grab onto the top. Her shoulder screamed in pain, but she pulled herself up and jumped down on the other side.
“You’re hurt,” Aidan said as soon as she landed. “I can see it in your face.”
“Just a bruise on my shoulder,” she said. “Let’s go.”
He took her hand and they walked quickly away. The commotion might attract the Watch, and they didn’t want to look suspicious. Instead of going to the Brown Bear as planned, they climbed to the roof of a building where they stayed some nights when the weather was mild. They’d hidden a blanket and a bit of food up there, and Aidan laid out the blanket and handed her a half-empty bottle of wine. She took a long swig.
“How bad is it?” he asked.
“ ‘Urts like the devil,” she said. “But it would ‘ave been a lot worse if ye ‘adn’t come. ‘Ow’d ye know I was in trouble?”
“One of the boys you give scraps to spotted you and came running to tell me.”
“I don’t give scraps to anyone!” she protested.
“Sure you don’t. Anyway, he told me the direction he’d seen you go, and I figured you’d head for the alley. I went around the long way or I’d have been there sooner.”
“I told ye ‘e’d kill me some day.”
“Not today,” Aidan said. “Not any day I’m here. Let me see your shoulder.”
She unfastened the buttons at the neck and drew the shirt up and over one side of her body, leaving the other side in place. Her breasts were bound so there was nothing to see. Aidan wouldn’t have looked anyway. He never looked at her, and she was ashamed to admit she sometimes wished he would. There was a feeling she sometimes got between her legs, and it had only grown since she’d turned seventeen. Sometimes it was hard to lay beside Aidan and not want to touch him or kiss him. She found small ways to do it—an arm on his shoulder, moving closer to him when it was cold, or brushing against him in a narrow passage. But he was always respectful. Even when she was careless about changing in front of him, he turned his back to give her privacy. He obviously wouldn’t ever think of her as anything more than a friend.
And she was his friend. She just wanted to be his friend and then some.
Aidan moved so he could see her shoulder, keeping his gaze above the area of her chest. “You’ll have a bruise there,” he said. “It’s already turning purple.”
She looked down and swore at the mottled skin. “I’m lucky ‘e didn’t ‘it me in the face, or I’d be in a lot worse shape,” she said.
“It wasn’t luck.” He put two fingers on her shoulder, right near the bruise, and slid them over her skin. “You don’t need luck.”
Jenny couldn’t stop a shiver as his fingers trailed down her bare arm, pausing at her elbow. She looked up and away from his hand and saw his gaze was on her face. His eyes were so dark, and he hadn’t been able to shave in a week or so and there was a shadow on his jaw.
“I was scared,” he said, sounding a bit like the boy he’d been when they’d met four years ago.
“I’m not that easy to be rid of,” she said.
“Good.” His tongue darted out, wetting his lips, and her breath hitched. He wanted to kiss her. She knew him, and though she’d never done that with him, she knew what he wanted. She wanted the same thing.
“Jenny, may I—”
“Yes,” she said, her voice little more than a whisper. “I’ve been wanting ye to do it for ages now.”
He cocked his head to the side, his fingers lightly grasping her bare forearm. “Why didn’t you say so?”
“Why didn’t ye?”
“I didn’t think you wanted me like that.” His free hand went to her face and cupped her jaw. His touch was so gentle, so sweet. She was shivering all over now, trembling like a newborn kitten.
“I thought ye didn’t want me. Like that.”
He let out a small laugh. “Jenny, I’ve never wanted anyone but you.” He leaned forward, his lips brushing over hers in the sweetest kiss she’d ever had. Warmth shot through her, and she kissed him back, wrapping her hand around his neck and moving closer until they were pressed against each other and breathing hard. Aidan pulled back first. “You’d better put your shirt back on,” he said. “You’ll get cold.”
“I’m plenty warm,” she said, but she moved back and tugged her sleeve back, wincing only slightly at the discomfort.
“I’ll keep you warm,” he said, taking the bottle from her hand and lowering her to the blanket.
***
HE LOVED HER. AIDANloved Jenny, despite the fact that he’d never wanted to love anyone again after losing his mother. He did love Jenny.
But he didn’t dare tell her. He didn’t know how she’d react. Her own parents hadn’t loved her. That much was clear. He didn’t know how she’d react to such a confession. Over the years he’d noticed she always argued when he gave her any kind of compliment. She never thought she deserved praise or kindness. Aidan didn’t think she thought she deserved love.
He considered how to tell her for months until one night they were laying together under London Bridge. For some reason that day he had been thinking about his own mother, and how she always told him how much she loved him, and how much that had meant to him. And so that night, as they lay on their sides, looking into the other’s eyes, arms around the other, he said, “I love you, Jenny.”
She’d stiffened. “Wot’d ye say?”
“I said, I love you. You know that, don’t you?” He’d lifted himself onto his elbow and looked down at her face. “Why are you crying?”
“No reason,” she said with a sniff. “Course I knew ye loved me.”
He swiped at one of her tears with his thumb. She cried so rarely that it was a novelty to see tears like this.
“Ye took me by surprise is all. That and—”
He didn’t speak, waited for her to go on. But she didn’t need to say anything. He knew her so well that he understood without hearing the words. “No one has ever said that to you before. Christ, Jenny, I should have said it before.”
“I didn’t know I needed ye to say it,” she answered, her voice low. “Now I feel like I should say it.”
He smiled. “Only if you want to.” But he suddenly needed the words too. He needed them more than he ever might have believed.
“Oy, well, in that case.”
“Jenny,” he groaned, and she laughed, though it came out as something of a sob.
“I love ye, Aidan. I love ye with all my ‘eart and soul.” She began to sob, and he held her tighter.
“Why are you crying now?”
“Because I love ye and ye’ll leave me.”
He laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll never leave you.” But the back of his neck prickled as he spoke because he was always thinking of ways to get out of here. He wanted to take Jenny with him, but he didn’t know if she’d go.
She looked up at him. “Promise?”
“Promise.” He bent to kiss her lightly, to seal the promise, but when her mouth met his, there was more there than sweetness. There was a sensuality that made his blood heat and his heart pound. His breathing quickened, but he didn’t rush to grasp at her breast or use his tongue. He felt differently about her, about this act, tonight. They’d finally figured out how to copulate successfully, and they both enjoyed it now. Tonight, was different, though.
He loved her, and she loved him. He wanted to show her how much he loved her. Show her that he was hers forever.
Their kisses seemed to go on and on, their hands exploring even as their mouths did the same. He couldn’t undress her, not here in the open, but he revealed and then covered until he had explored all of her and left her panting for more. She was as eager to touch him, but for once he was able to control his desire, so he did not come as soon as her hand slid into his trousers. He sought the heat of her hand and then of her body, and when he’d slid into her, the pleasure was dark and lovely. He didn’t race to climax this time, but savored the feel of her, the taste of her mouth on his, the way she moved beneath him. When she gasped, he repeated the action until she gasped again.
“That,” she said, her voice sounding so unlike the Jenny he knew. “Do that again.”
He’d complied, feeling her muscles clench as she began to soar. He soared with her, following her up, finding a little slice of heaven in the hell on earth that was their daily lives. He pulled out at the last minute, of course. It was painful to do so as her body was clenching him tightly and she was making such delicious sounds of contentment, but they couldn’t risk a child.
Afterward, Aidan had gathered her in his arms and held her tightly. “No wonder men pay for that,” she said after a while. “I never understood before.”
“Neither did I.”
His belly rumbled and she patted his back. “Try to forget it and sleep.”
She fell asleep a few minutes later. She could always sleep, but the hunger and the mixture of emotions he felt kept Aidan awake. He listened to her soft, even breaths and knew that he should be happy. He had everything he needed. But like Jenny who was always collecting small treasures, Aidan wanted something more. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his nights sleeping on roofs or under bridges or in abandoned buildings. He wanted to know when his next meal would be. He wanted coin in his pocket.
He wasn’t a child any longer, at the mercy of others. He was sixteen and a grown man. He had to find a way to get out of Spitalfields. He’d do whatever it took.