Hard Fall by Brenda Rothert

Chapter Eleven

Wes

“Wes, are you mad at me?” Gina asked, her full red lips drawing up into a pout.

Or was it Jenna?

Shit, I couldn’t remember. It had been pure luck that I’d run into her at the grocery store this morning while picking up a birthday card for Annalise. My girlfriend of six months had dumped me last night, and the last thing I wanted to do was show up at Annalise’s first birthday party without a date. Hadley was in town, which meant she would be busting my balls from the minute I got there, and in a moment of temporary insanity, I’d invited Gina or Jenna—Jeannie?—to come with me. We’d hooked up a few times last year, when I’d first moved to St. Louis, but that had been nothing but sex. This was an actual date.

And I couldn’t even remember her name.

Dammit.

“Wes?” She looked sad now and I absently shook my head as I opened the passenger side door of my new Mustang for her.

“Sorry, doll. I’m not mad. You look beautiful. It’s just, you know, you’re dressed for a grown-up party and this is a kid party.”

She looked down at her hot pink miniskirt and red, four-inch fuck-me pumps. “But you love this skirt.”

“I know. I do. It’s just…never mind.” It was too late now and it wasn’t Gina/Jenna’s fault I was an asshole.

“Don’t worry, kids love me,” she said, sliding into the passenger seat and fluffing up her hair.

She kept up a steady stream of chatter the whole way to Ben and Lauren’s suburban McMansion, and I pulled into their wide, circular driveway. I grabbed Annalise’s huge, brightly wrapped gift from the back and walked around to the backyard with Gina/Jenna following me.

We followed the sound of laughter since Ben and Lauren were cooking out. Initially, the party was supposed to be indoors but when it turned out to be unseasonably warm, they’d moved it outside. Which made Gina/Jenna’s stupidly high heels stand out even more.

“Hey, handsome!” Lauren called out as she swung past me carrying a tray of cupcakes and blowing me a kiss.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Lauren put the cupcakes down and came over to us, a curious smile on her face since no one yet knew Sadie and I had broken up. “Who’s this?”

“This is my friend…Ginnie…” I said her name under my breath, so low Lauren couldn’t possibly hear it.

“I’m sorry…” Lauren turned to Gina/Jenna holding out her hand. “What was your name?”

“Jeannie.” Jeannie smiled and looked around, her eyes wide. “Wow, this place is something. I hope I get to live in a house like this one day.”

“Thank you.” Lauren gave me a funny look before pointing at Ben. “Ben’s started cooking, Annalise is still napping, and a few of the Mavericks are wandering around somewhere.”

“Hey, man!” Ben lifted a hand, waving.

“Hey.” I started walking in his direction but Jeannie grabbed my arm.

“I didn’t know we were going to be outside,” she said. “My shoes are getting dirty.”

“Then let’s go inside,” I said. “You can sit in the kitchen for a while.”

“By myself?” She looked sad again.

“Er, no. I’ll, uh, sit with you after I say hello to everyone.”

Christ. What had I done?

Bringing Jeannie with me today had been stupid, but I’d been bummed about the breakup and really didn’t want to show up without a date, knowing Hadley would be here. Instead, I’d just made it worse. Sometimes I couldn’t get out of my own way, and nothing made me stupider than being around Hadley.

“Yo, Kirbs!” Nash came over and shook my hand.

“Hey, man.” I grinned. “How’s it hangin’?”

“Oh, you know, a little to the left.”

We both chuckled and Jeannie giggled. “That’s so hot.”

I opted to ignore her and said hello to a few other guys on the team, wondering if I could just take Jeannie home and call it a night. Ben would never forgive me if I left, but I had a bad feeling already and we’d just gotten here.

“Wes, aren’t you going to introduce me to your teammates?”

I really didn’t want to, but I did the polite thing and made the rounds with her, avoiding where Hadley and Lauren were chatting with a few of the WAGs.

“How about a beer, Jeannie?” Nash asked her.

She blinked. “Ew. Gross. I don’t drink beer. Is there any wine? Or better yet, tequila?”

“It’s a kid’s birthday party,” I said gently. “Just beer and wine. Let me get you a glass.”

I left her with my teammates and went inside to get a wine glass just as Hadley was going in. Nope, Lady Luck wasn’t with me today.

“Hello, Wes.” She gave me a perfunctory nod.

“Hi, Hadley.”

“I heard you have a new girlfriend,” she said, her eyes inscrutable as she looked at me.

“That didn’t work out,” I replied.

“So the bimbo in the four-inch heels and barely covered ass isn’t the new girlfriend?”

“She’s just a friend.”

She chuckled. “Really? How much do you pay your friend per hour?”

I huffed out a breath. “Could you be any bitchier?”

“Could you be any less classy? You brought a woman who literally looks like a hooker to your goddaughter’s first birthday party. In front of friends, family, and teammates. You truly don’t have an ounce of decorum in you.”

“So good of you to judge a book by its cover,” I snapped. “She might not be the sharpest tool in the drawer, but at least she’s nice. Something you could try for once in your life. What happened to women sticking together?” I turned and stalked out of the kitchen.

Hadley got under my skin like no one else ever had and the urge to tell her off got stronger every time I saw her.

“I’m afraid to ask where Sadie is,” Ben said, looking up from the grill when I approached him.

“She dumped me,” I muttered.

“Wow, I’m sorry. I thought things were going well.”

“She doesn’t like how much I travel.”

“That’s part of the life. If she can’t deal with it, it’s better to break things off now.”

“Yeah.”

“So, uh, you and Hadley already go at it?” I followed his gaze to where Hadley had just slammed the kitchen door behind her as she made her way back over to Lauren.

“I can’t win with her, man. I literally said hello and she called Jeannie a hooker.”

“Well, you did bring a chick wearing six-inch heels and a skirt that barely covers her ass to a family birthday party.”

“I needed a date! And they’re not six inches tall!”

“Why?” Ben looked at me like I was crazy. “This is Annalise’s birthday. No one’s here but the best of friends and family. Who cares if you have a date?”

“I care!” I snapped. “You invite Hadley to everything and she makes it so that I don’t even want to come! Every fucking minute of the day, every time we’re together, she has something nasty to say.”

“Sometimes you bring it on yourself, buddy.” Ben gave me the same look he sometimes gave the guys in the locker room when they were being dumbasses. But this was different.

“Like I’ve said a dozen times, you always take her side.”

“If you’d just give her a chance…”

I scratched the side of my face. “You know what? I think I’m gonna go. It’s not like Annalise is going to remember who was here today.” I turned and started making my way over to Jeannie.

“Hey.” Ben caught up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I do take her side but it’s only because I don’t see what you see, and the only thing I can think of is that you two are so perfect for each other, while you’re fighting it for all you’re worth.”

I shook my head. “Me and Hadley? Perfect for each other? That’s never gonna happen, buddy. You can take that to the bank.”

“Fine. But please don’t go. We want you here and I promise to keep you far away from Hadley.”

I sighed. “Fine. But you’re buying drinks on the next road trip.”

“Deal.”

The dayof Annalise’s birthday party was a bright, sunny day. It was still cool, only in the low fifties with a strong wind, but it was perfect for what we’d planned. Well, mostly what Hadley planned since I’d been on two road trips in the last month. Though the original plan had been to keep things relatively simple, the Avengers theme took root and then it was all hands on deck. We had representation for almost all of them—Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, and even the Hulk.

It had taken a little explaining to get Lars on board as Thor, but once he’d said yes, the rest of the team had jumped at the chance to portray Annalise’s favorite superheroes. Drew was Captain America, Van was Iron Man, and to our surprise, it was Konstantin who offered to be the Hulk. Nina had volunteered to be the Black Widow and the lineup was complete.

“Everything looks amazing,” Greg Brandt said. Greg was Lauren’s father. He and her mother, Tasha, had flown in for the weekend to spend Annalise’s birthday with her. Though Tasha’s MS was in remission, she tired easily and couldn’t always do the things she wanted to do. We were glad to have them, though, because they were so loving and easygoing. Unlike Patrick and Susan, who’d left in a snit. We’d let them see how hard it was to take care of the kids and they hadn’t been happy about how little we’d done while they were here.

It was all by design, of course, orchestrated by me to give them a taste of what parenting would be like at their age. I didn’t know if it had done more harm than good, but I was too busy to care and the lawyer I’d hired said they didn’t have a leg to stand on.

“What can we do?” Tasha asked, leaning on her cane as she looked around at the great room, which had been transformed into a science lab. Hadley had decided if we were going all out, we’d at least make it educational, so there were stations set up with different scientific activities that were loosely related to the Avengers, but more about keeping twenty-three four-year-olds busy. Annalise wanted her entire preschool class to be invited, along with a handful of the kids she knew from my Mavericks teammates, so it was going to be a zoo soon. Thank God we’d be able to put them on the screened-in porch for cake and ice cream.

“I think we’re good,” Hadley said, putting her hands on her hips as she looked around. “Tori’s got her at the nail salon getting birthday nails done and they’ll be home in about twenty minutes.”

“She’s going to love it,” Tasha said softly. “You’ve done a wonderful job, you two.”

“Thanks.” Hadley smiled. “I know it’s probably more than Lauren would have wanted, but we need this year to be special because Annalise has been asking about when Mommy and Daddy are coming back more and more often. I don’t think she quite grasps the finality of death.”

“Of course not.” Tasha swallowed, blinking back tears. “But as she gets a little older, Greg and I will make sure both she and Benny hear all the stories about their mommy.”

“Looks like they’re back,” I said, going to the door to greet Tori and Annalise.

“Is it time for my party yet?” Annalise demanded.

“Almost.” I laughed, tweaking her nose.

“Thank you for letting me get a manicure too,” Tori told me, blinking bright blue eyes up at me. She held out her hands and wiggled the fingers. “You like?”

“Er, yeah. They look nice.” Yikes. Tori was practically right up against me and I took a slow step back. As far as I was concerned, she was nothing but a kid, even though technically she was a legal adult, so I hadn’t given her a second thought. But she was definitely flirting with me, her eyes fixed on my face, a cute little smile on her lips.

Shit. I had to nip this in the bud and be super careful. This was just the type of thing that could derail our custody battle, and frankly, even if there was no custody situation, she was way too young for me. I didn’t even hook up with women her age anymore. Twenty-four was about as young as I’d go. Not that I had time for that these days. Or the inclination since the only woman I thought about lately was Hadley.

“Why don’t you see if there’s anything you can help Hadley with?” I suggested, grabbing Annalise and scooping her up.

We walked into the great room and Annalise squealed with delight, wiggling to get down and run around to check out every station, every decoration, every sweet, detailed touch Hadley had come up with to make this a birthday Annalise would never forget. It was costing a fortune too, even though I’d paid every bill with a smile.

“Gramps, did you see my balloons?” Annalise asked.

“I did!”

Annalise crawled onto his lap, talking animatedly and I leaned in to Hadley, whispering, “Want to blow this popsicle stand and go get a hotel room?”

She snickered. “Honestly? Not today. Maybe tonight, but right now, I want to see her face when the guys arrive.”

I grinned. “Yeah, I do too.”

Kids and their parents started to arrive, and within thirty minutes, the house was packed to the gills. And it wasn’t a small house. Ben and Lauren had been planning on at least one more baby, if not two, so this was six thousand square feet of bells and whistles I’d never even thought of for my high-end two-bedroom condo. We’d arranged for the Avengers to arrive about thirty minutes after the party started, to leave time for any stragglers, and I was glad I’d talked Hadley into a professional photographer because there was barely time to breathe, much less take pictures. Hadley had said she would do it, but that wasn’t happening.

My phone buzzed and I read a text from Drew, asking if we were ready for them. I shot him a quick affirmative answer and motioned to Hadley that it was time. She would make sure the kids were all in one place while I went to let in the guys and Nina.

A wave of emotion washed over me when I opened the door. The gang had outdone themselves. They’d rented costumes and really looked the part. Nina was wearing a dark red wig and heavy makeup, Lars wielded his hammer like a pro, and Konstantin had painted most of his body with green body paint.

“Wow, you guys, this is amazing,” I said, nodding.

“Let’s do this!” Drew moved forward and they essentially marched into the great room.

I was behind them but I heard the kids’ screams and squeals of delight. Especially Annalise who launched herself at Lars.

“Thor came to my birthday! Thor came to my birthday!” She said it over and over, grabbing his hand and pulling him around the room.

I held my breath, waiting to see how Lars would react to so much touching, but apparently his dislike of it didn’t extend to kids. Or at the very least, he tolerated it from the kids because he was totally in character, rambling on about thunder and hammers and the like. The kids were eating it up, too, and I caught Hadley’s eye across the room. This was what we’d been hoping for, the magic of being four coupled with the love that came from our extended Mavericks family. Most of the kids here weren’t part of the Mavericks family since there weren’t many her age and none in her preschool class, but they didn’t care about professional hockey players anyway.

“If I ever have kids,” Nash said in my ear, “I’m totally doing this shit for them.”

I grinned. “It’s epic, right?”

“Who’s the blond hottie?” he asked, checking out Tori.

“That’s our nineteen-year-old nanny,” I said. “So behave yourself.”

“Nineteen is legal,” he protested.

“If you piss her off and she quits, I’ll kill you in your sleep.”

“Fine.” He headed in the opposite direction. “Maybe there’s a single mom in the group over by the fireplace.”

The kids were havinga blast and we owed my teammates huge. The Avengers were such a hit, especially Thor and the Hulk. Konstantin spoke halting, heavily accented English so instead of trying to communicate, he grunted and spoke in monosyllabic sentences. Mostly, he growled at them, made them scream, and chased them until they were shrieking with laughter. Annalise now had a new best friend—Thor/Lars—and didn’t leave his side for a second. She and two of her little friends followed him like the Pied Piper and he didn’t seem at all stressed to be the object of so much attention, which was a relief for me because he could be extremely rigid when it came to his routines and social quirks.

“I think it’s time for cake,” Hadley whispered to me about two hours later.

“I think it’s time for a nap,” I chuckled.

“Cake first.” She went toward the kitchen and I followed, lighting the candles as she gathered everything she’d need to cut and serve pieces of cake.

“Ready?” I asked her, lifting the massive two-tier Avengers-themed cake. She’d run out of time to make it herself and wound up buying one, but it was absolutely amazing, full of intricate detail, little plastic Avengers in the midst of battle, and “Happy Birthday, Annalise” printed on a banner held up by Captain America and the Black Panther. It was such a cool cake, I was almost jealous.

Hadley started to sing “Happy Birthday,” and everyone joined in, ending with me putting the cake down on a table that had been set up for that very purpose.

“Thor, will you help me blow out the candles?” Annalise asked Lars, who nodded amiably. He got down on one knee, one of his massive arms around her tiny torso, as she squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, “I wish Mommy and Daddy come home soon.” Then she blew out the candles.

While the kids ate, drank, and laughed, the adults in the room dealt with myriad emotions, myself included, and I watched Hadley and Nina swipe at their eyes while some of the guys turned away, probably too embarrassed to show any emotion they were feeling since we’d all heard what Annalise wished for.

“Can we play outside?” Annalise asked once everyone had stuffed themselves on cake and ice cream.

Hadley looked at me and I nodded. “Sure. I’ll help corral them.”

“I’m in,” Nash added.

Before we knew it, all the kids were outside along with most of the parents, playing tag and whatever else four-year-olds did. Hadley and I stood off to the side, watching and sipping wine out of plastic cups.

“I think she’s had a great day,” I told her. “And it’s all because of you.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. You got the guys to do the Avengers thing. If it hadn’t been for that, this party would have been a dud.”

“I doubt it, but it just goes to show how good of a team we make. We did it together.”

Her eyes met mine and she smiled faintly. “You’re making it really hard not to like you, Wes.”

“Is that the goal?” I laughed. “To not like me?”

“We have to put what these kids need before our own needs.”

“That’s what we’ve been doing, isn’t it?”

“Mostly. But the sexual chemistry going on lately has the potential to blow up in our faces, and the main people who’ll get burned are those kids. We have to be friends, and have a good relationship, because if we start something and it doesn’t work out, how are we going to co-parent?”

I sighed. Partly because I was frustrated but also because she was right. And I fucking hated it. But there was no time to respond because the photographer we’d hired approached us with a smile.

“I’ve gotten a ton of candid photos, and some great shots of both kids with their grandparents, but very few with the two of you. I thought we could do a handful of posed pictures with the four of you, and maybe each of you with both kids? I think it’ll be nice to have a variety to choose from.”

“Absolutely.” I nodded. “I’ll round up Annalise.” I walked away because it was easier than trying to continue a dead-end conversation in the middle of all this chaos. While I mostly agreed with Hadley, I had a different perspective. We were adults. There was no reason we couldn’t follow wherever this thing between us led and still be friends afterward if it either didn’t work out or it was nothing more than sex. Why did everything have to be so black and white with her?

By the timethe guests had left, and we cleaned up Benny and Annalise and put them to bed, Hadley and I collapsed on the sectional in the living room. It was only eight o’clock, but Annalise had been completely wiped out and fell asleep in the tub. Benny would probably be up again at midnight but at least we had a little quiet time.

“No offense, but those tiny slices of pizza and the world’s coolest cake does not fill up a guy my size,” I said. “Either we order some food or I might have to start chewing on your arm.”

“I can make us something—” she began, starting to get up.

“Oh, shut up and sit down,” I said, shaking my head. “You busted your ass today. You’re not cooking shit.”

She smiled. “Okay. What about ordering Chinese?”

“I could do Chinese.” I reached for my phone. “And I have my favorite place on speed dial. What do you like?”

I placed an order and then we just sat there. It had been a great day, if not a little bittersweet, but fuck, I was tired. And I had both a morning skate and a game tomorrow. I needed to get some sleep, but I was starving and sitting here with Hadley was kind of nice. In fact, it was a lot nice. Too bad she’d made it clear things needed to cool down between us. My dick was definitely annoyed about this new development.

“Do you think Ben and Lauren would have liked the party?” she whispered.

“I think Lauren would have complained about how much money we spent, but they would have loved the way the guys dressed up and were here for Annalise and the other kids. They loved our extended Mavericks family.”

“God, when does it stop? I keep thinking it’s getting better and then there’s a day like today where it hurts so much I almost can’t breathe. I still reach for my phone every damn day to call her…”

“I know.” I slid an arm around her shoulders and drew her against me. She stiffened for a fraction of a second but then it was like all the fight drained out of her and she collapsed against my shoulder, burying the side of her face in my chest.

“I can never tell if you’re hurting,” she said after a moment. “I feel so weak because I want to cry every day and you’re kicking ass and taking names.”

“Believe me, the pain is always just below the surface. I’m not kicking anything and I don’t even know what names I’m supposed to take. I just don’t have the luxury of grieving too long. I have a job that requires a fucking ton of energy and two kids at home that take up the rest. No matter how much I hurt on the inside, I have to keep going for them, for the team, and for you.”

“I’m so glad we’ve been here for each other. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you’ve been my rock through all of this.”

I wanted to tell her she’d been my rock, too, but another few minutes of cuddling and intimate conversation, and I’d never be able to respect her wishes to keep things platonic.

“I think I just heard Benny,” I lied, sliding out from under her embrace. “I better check on him.”

I saw the surprise on her face, but what choice did I have? The closer we got, the more I wanted, but if she wasn’t there for it, I had to protect myself in addition to the kids. Losing Ben and Lauren had been all the heartbreak I could handle; anything else might break me.