Hard Fall by Brenda Rothert

Chapter Twenty-Five

Wes

Chaos. The next few hours were absolute fucking chaos. The women, from Hadley to Susan to Tori, started to cry as soon as we walked into the house with Annalise. Once they started to cry, Benny seemed to think it was his job in life to join them, and he did it louder and more vigorously than anyone else. By the time we got him settled down, everyone heard the story about how Nash found Annalise, and the police finally left. I was wiped out. I did order pizza for everyone, though, to thank my teammates and several neighbors that had all joined in the search.

Annalise fell asleep with a slice of pizza in her hand and Hadley got up to carry her upstairs before Susan could move. I wasn’t sure if she was going to force the issue of a bath or just put her to bed, but Hadley and I had no plans to go anywhere tonight. Once we’d told Patrick and Susan we were sleeping in the guest room until the hearing next week, they’d quietly excused themselves and gone to bed. It was probably better that way, since I had a lot I wanted to say to them, but I wouldn’t do it in front of our friends and neighbors. I wouldn’t say anything in front of Annalise either.

I needed to know what had happened, though. How, why, what, all the details. Not just because they fucked up, but also because I’d need the information so I could make sure it didn’t happen again. Annalise was smart and headstrong, so this type of behavior didn’t necessarily surprise me, but it wasn’t a risk we could take in the future. She couldn’t just leave the house when she was being punished for something, and the more I understood about why it happened the better I would be at preventing it. At least that’s what I told myself. Maybe I really just wanted to make Patrick and Susan admit they were dumbasses who couldn’t take care of our kids.

Ourkids.

Mine and Hadley’s.

Ours.

Us.

“We’re going to take off,” Drew said, startling me back to the present as he and Nina got up.

I shook his hand. “Thanks again,” I told him. “We really appreciate you rallying the troops to help out.”

“That’s what friends do.” He nodded and took Nina’s hand as they headed out.

The other guys followed suit and within fifteen minutes, the house was quiet except for Benny cooing from his high chair. I’d put him there as I’d cleaned up the kitchen and I scooped him up before heading upstairs. I heard Hadley reading to Annalise in her room and opted not to interrupt because if I brought Benny in there, it would take forever to get them to settle down again. Annalise had probably woken up in the tub and now was having trouble settling down. Benny was probably overtired and overexcited too, but after a week away from him, I brought him into the guest room with me so I could spend a little time with him.

I stretched out on the bed and plopped Benny on his stomach on my chest. He pretended to crawl, sticking his butt up in the air and wiggling it. Then he gave me a toothless grin and I laughed. He had Ben’s dark hair and Lauren’s light eyes, which made me equal parts nostalgic and sad. I’d see Ben and Lauren in their children’s faces forever, and while I was happy for their memory to live on, it was heartbreaking to think they wouldn’t remember their parents at all.

“You tired yet, buddy?” I asked him, pulling him up into a sitting position on my stomach since I was mostly sprawled out.

“Da da.” He said the word haltingly and then blew a raspberry.

Oh, holy shit. He’d just called me Dada. He would never know Ben. And as the man raising him, it was inevitable he would call me Dad. Daddy. I closed my eyes and breathed in and out a few times. Sometimes the grief washed over me with such ferocity it was like being in that hospital room all over again. That scratchiness behind my eyes was all too familiar now, but this time it was mixed with joy.

Da da.

“Da da da da da!” Benny was on a roll and I opened my eyes again, refusing to miss out on such an important moment, no matter how hard it was. I wouldn’t replace Ben, but I’d step in and fill his shoes, even though they were huge.

“What about Mama?” I asked him.

He frowned at me. “Da da da!”

“Well, we’ll work on mama tomorrow, okay?” I kissed the top of his head, his silky hair tickling my skin. I hadn’t realized how much I loved these kids until I’d been away from them for a week.

“Hey.” Hadley came into the room, smiling down at Benny.

“Annalise finally settle down?”

“She fell asleep at dinner, but she was filthy so I put her in the bath anyway, and that woke her right up. She had to tell me every detail of her adventure today, twice, and then said I had to read all her favorite stories to her because Grandma doesn’t read them.”

I scowled. “I can’t wait to get them back in court. I was going to call you to tell you about our new attorney, but then this happened and I kind of forgot about it.”

“Oh?” She sat on the bed cross-legged, one hand resting on Benny’s back as he cuddled into my shoulder.

I told her about Regina Rittenhouse and how I’d gotten my father involved.

“He’s a powerhouse,” I told her. “I don’t usually go to him for stuff like this because he’s way over the top, but it was time to get custody finalized. One way or another.”

She was gently tickling Benny’s toes and he giggled, his foot moving out of the way and then going back for more.

“I want you to know,” she said after a moment. “I’m not giving up these kids. Regardless of what we have to do to get custody at the hearing, I’m going to be in their lives.”

“I never suggested otherwise,” I said slowly, watching her. She wouldn’t look at me, so I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I knew her well enough to sense she needed a little time to formulate her thoughts.

“What I mean is…” She cleared her throat and picked up Benny, pulling him against her. “I love these kids and the life we started to build here. So even if we put your name on some document that gives you custody, don’t think that when you’re tired of me—of us—that I’m just going to go away quietly. I will sell everything I own to fight for shared custody if you try to cut me out of their lives.”

“That’s what you think of me?” I asked in surprise, sitting up a little as I met her gaze. “That I would do something like that?”

“I know what this is and I’m okay with it. What we have right now is good. It’s fun and passionate and we’ve actually become friends through all of this, but I know I’m not the love of your life or anything so—”

“Okay, wait, I feel like I’ve missed something.” I cocked my head. “Last time we talked, you were worried about your job, your career, your life back in New York…and that’s why you went back. Has something changed?” I knew what I wanted her to say, but somehow, I had a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy. Nothing with us was ever easy.

“I told you—I love the kids and the life we built here.” She bounced Benny as he started to squirm to get free. “And after what happened with Annalise, it’s pretty obvious that we’re the right people to raise the kids. Not Patrick and Susan.”

“So you’re leaving New York?” Excitement coursed through me at the prospect of having her back here with me. With us.

She nodded. “I haven’t worked out exactly what I’m going to do yet, but the kids need me.”

I breathed in slowly, trying to read between the lines. She thought the kids needed her but hadn’t said anything about me. Didn’t she know how much I needed her too? Did she have feelings for me or was this all about the custody battle?

I’d never been unsure of myself when it came to women, but there had never been a woman in my life like Hadley. Hell, there had never been anyone in my life that impacted me like Hadley.

“Promise me, Wes.”

“What?” I looked up in confusion. “Promise you what?”

“That no matter what the custody agreement says on paper, you won’t send me packing once this thing between us burns itself out or you fall in love with someone or whatever.” She lifted her chin a notch, as if daring me to disappoint her.

“Babe, that should go without saying.” I ran a hand through my hair and resisted a yawn. “But I think—” I had to stop talking as the yawn won out, the day’s stressors apparently catching up to me.

“Wes?” She leaned over and lightly pressed her lips to mine.

“Yeah?” God, I fucking needed to touch her, and I slid a hand around her waist, pulling both her and Benny against my chest.

“I’m physically exhausted and mentally drained too. Can we just get Benny settled and go to sleep? I can’t think anymore. I can barely keep my eyes open. To be honest, I’d love to just curl up in your arms and go to sleep.”

“That sounds like the best thing I’ve heard in a week,” I said. “Let me run down and warm up a bottle for him, and once he’s in bed, we can do just that.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

I padded down the stairs to the kitchen, my thoughts whirling as I hunted for a clean bottle and Benny’s formula. It seemed like Susan had moved everything in the kitchen and it took a minute to find what I needed, but I mixed formula in with the bottled spring water we used and then put it in the microwave. As the seconds ticked by my thoughts drifted back to Hadley.

I was probably as exhausted as she was, but I wasn’t too tired to realize she didn’t have a clue that I was in love with her. I didn’t know for sure whether or not she felt the same, but I was counting on it because we’d been through too much together over the last few months to give up on this little family we were building. It hadn’t started out that way, and even though I would have given everything I owned to have Ben and Lauren back, that wasn’t going to happen. Instead, I had their beautiful babies. All I wanted in life was to raise them with the infuriatingly intense, passionate, smart, sexy woman who loved them as much as I did.

Raising them might be the easy part, though.

The hard part would be convincing Hadley not just that I loved her, but how right we were for each other. How good we would be together.

That was definitely going to be a challenge because I’d obviously dropped the ball so far. I was up to the task, though. One way or another.