Hard Fall by Brenda Rothert

Chapter Six

Hadley

I could be too much sometimes. Several men I’d been in relationships with had said that about me. Too skeptical, too direct and too suspicious. If there were a Hadley Ellis relationship exit interview, those would be the top three reasons men cited for either breaking up with me or being at least a little relieved when I ended things with them.

The qualities that made me a less than ideal girlfriend in men’s eyes, though, had helped me climb the corporate ladder at Willow quickly. Since starting as an entry-level writer fresh out of college seven years ago, I’d gotten several promotions and was now an associate editor.

I’d been in this role for nearly a year, and the list of responsibilities had grown longer in that time. My boss, Liz Cromwell, was…well, not very receptive to the word “no.” She also left no doubt about her stance on things.

“Listen, Hadley, I need another story about organizing a fucking home office like I need a third tit,” she said over the speaker on the phone in Ben’s study, where I’d set up my computer at the desk to work. “Give me something fresh or don’t give me anything at all.”

“I totally understand, Liz. Another submission that came in through the general submissions email was for a story about making your own soaps and scrubs at home. The pitch was polished and well written.”

“Ugh, fuck that. I’m trying to sell products for our advertisers, not encourage readers to cheap out and make their own. Next.”

I moved down my list of pitches, cringing as I heard Annalise screaming and running down the hallway right outside the office, Wes making what I thought were supposed to be bear noises as he chased her.

“Best destinations for solo vacations.” I recited the line from my list, not bothering to talk it up. Liz would either reluctantly accept it or dramatically pass on it, as was her style.

“Hmm…could be good,” she said.

“We could make it into a package and include lists about the best things to pack when vacationing alone, and maybe an advice column on how to ask your boss for time off when you need a break.”

“I’ll put it on the budget for May.”

“Great.”

“What else? We’re doing that big photo shoot in Fiji for the July cover, so I need some stories that will fit the vibe.”

“And the vibe is…?” I asked. “Tropical and exotic?”

“Right, pretty much.”

I considered some ideas that I thought would play up the theme. “How about ways to channel tropical islands from the comfort of home? We can do some fun drink and appetizer recipes, maybe a piece on making a small patio into an oasis with the right plants, outdoor furniture and lighting, and some recommendations on sunglasses, swimsuits and self-tanners.”

“Okay,” she said, sighing heavily like it was the most horrible thing she’d ever agreed to. “But it has to be fresh, okay? I’m fucking tired of seeing fresh content everywhere else while we keep recycling the same old shit.”

“I understand, and I’m open to any ideas you have.”

“Coming up with ideas is your job, not mine. My job is to keep this place running.”

“Well, something I’m working on is learning to make baby food at home. I could write about that.”

Her hum made me think she was about to pass, but she surprised me and said, “Yeah, I like it. I’ll put it on the budget for June.”

The front doorbell at the house rang, and I heard Annalise’s pounding footsteps as she ran toward it. The nanny Nina recommended was starting today, on a day Annalise didn’t have preschool to make things a little easier.

“Hey, I have to go. I have a meeting,” I told Liz.

“Okay. Send me some detailed budget notes on the things we discussed when you have time today.”

She hung up abruptly, and I shook my head. I hadn’t paid much attention to how bitchy my boss was before, but after getting a break of more than a week from her, I realized I hadn’t missed her one bit.

So far, the people I was around in St. Louis were nice. Not just Nina, but everyone affiliated with Ben’s team who had stopped by the house had been kind and helpful. It made my heart hurt to see how much his teammates missed Ben, but it was really nice to have so much support from people who’d loved him and his family. They were still dropping off meals and asking if we needed a hand with anything.

“Hi, I’m Wes,” I heard Wes saying to the new nanny as I walked out of Ben’s study.

“Hi, I’m Tori. It’s so nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too. Hadley should be here any—”

“Hey,” I said, smiling as I walked into the foyer. “You must be Tori.”

Her wide smile was as perfect as the rest of her. She was tall and blond, with bright blue eyes and just the right amount of curves. I couldn’t hold her looks against her, but I’d been hoping she’d be more average looking, because I didn’t want Wes thinking she was here for his amusement.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said, shaking my hand. “And this must be Benny.”

She leaned closer to Wes, who had Benny in his arms, Benny’s back against his chest so he could see what was going on around him. As she gently touched the tip of her finger to Benny’s nose and gave him a wide-eyed, openmouthed grin, he let out a little laugh and smiled back.

“He’s adorable,” she said, looking at me. “I love babies.”

“Why don’t we sit down in the family room and talk?” I said. “Can I get you anything to drink, Tori?”

“I’d love some water, thank you.”

As we walked toward the family room, Wes leaned close to me and whispered, “Shot of whiskey for me. Oh, and maybe a meat and cheese tray. I’m kind of hungry.”

I rolled my eyes, not in the mood for his humor, and said, “Get your own drink.”

He smirked at me as Annalise yelled from the other room, “Uncle Wes, watch this!”

By the time I returned to the family room, Tori had Benny in her arms and Annalise on her lap.

“Do you like tea parties?” Annalise asked Tori.

“Oh, they’re my favorite.”

“Really?” Annalise slid off of her lap. “We could have one right now!”

Tori got down on the floor with the kids, managing to tickle Benny and make silly faces at him, drink imaginary tea with Annalise and answer our questions about her experience with children all at the same time.

“Can you put just a little more milk in mine?” she asked Annalise, holding out her imaginary cup.

“Regular milk or chocolate?” Annalise asked in a serious tone.

“Chocolate, please,” Tori said. “And would you like one of these delicious cookies I made?” She held out an imaginary tray.

“Yes!” Annalise pretended to take one and nibble on it. “It’s delicious!”

An early childhood education major at a local college, Tori was exactly what we needed. She could work six hours a day on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and evenings and weekends as needed. Plus, the kids already liked her.

“Have you ever had any traffic accidents or tickets?” Wes asked her, probably because she’d be driving the kids places on occasion.

“No. And I don’t drink or smoke or anything like that.”

“Okay, good.” Wes met my gaze across the room and said, “Hey, why don’t we step into the kitchen and find some actual cookies if we can?”

I followed him into the kitchen, and Wes gestured toward the corner of the room furthest from the family room. When we were both standing there, he whispered, “What do you think?”

“I like her.”

“Yeah, I think she’s really good with the kids. Would it be enough for you, since she can’t be here on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Because we can keep looking if you need someone full time.”

I shook my head. “She said she could do evenings on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I could work then.”

“You think we should hire her, then?”

“I do.”

“Great.” He took a step toward the family room, and I put a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Hey,” I said.

Wes arched his brows and waited for me to continue. His forearm was warm and muscled, and it was the first time I’d touched any part of an attractive man in a long time, so I was distracted.

This was Weston Kirby. The guy who had made a lame comment about me liking wieners the first time we met. Who’d brought a date wearing a skintight tank top and stripper heels to Annalise’s first birthday party. And who’d told me a couple New Year’s Eves ago, while drunk, that his greatest wish for the year to come was that I’d get laid so the massive icicle wedged up my ass could melt a little.

He might be hot, with his chiseled face and blue eyes that landed him on magazine covers, but he was still Wes. Somehow, I had to ignore his looks and just spit out my concern.

“I, uh…you can’t, um…” I cleared my throat. “If we hire Tori, you can’t, you know…”

He narrowed his eyes in a look of complete aggravation.

“Hadley, I’m getting really sick of these comments about me trying to jump into bed with every woman I see.”

I tried to whisper but it came out louder than I wanted, “She’s not just any woman. She’s about to become our very attractive, nineteen-year-old nanny. There are entire websites devoted to the seduction of nannies.”

He furrowed his brow and whispered back, albeit harshly. “I wouldn’t know anything about that, but it sounds like someone’s got quite the porn habit.”

“Why are you such an asshole?” I asked, groaning.

“Why are you such a shrew?”

“Just give me your word you won’t lay a hand on her. The kids have lost so much already, and if they get close to her—”

Wes took a step toward me, and I could feel the heat of his body. “Fine, but you have to promise me you won’t try to bone the gardener.”

I scoffed. “Bob is like fifty years old, Wes.”

“So what? He’s got a dick and when a woman hasn’t had any for, in your case, I’m guessing years, she might just jump on the closest man she can find.”

“You’re being absurd.”

“And you’re not? I’m a twenty-nine-year-old man, Hadley. It’s been about a decade since I had any sort of romantic interest in a teenager. Stop insulting me because you assume I’m the worst kind of man. You don’t know me.”

I put my hands on my hips and said, “If it’s a given you’ll keep the relationship entirely professional, you shouldn’t have any problem giving me your word.”

“Fine,” he snapped. “I give you my word. Now give me your word on Bob.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I promise to keep it professional with Bob.”

There was a flicker of something in Wes’s eyes before he said, “And my teammates.”

I recoiled. “Your teammates? Are you fucking serious? You think I’m trying to get with one of your teammates? I don’t even know their names. I can hardly keep my head above water with the kids and my work and trying to shower every day, so the last thing on my mind is hooking up with one of your teammates.”

He gave me a satisfied look. “Then maybe you know how I feel, because I’m in the same boat, Hadley. I’m just trying to keep up with hockey and the kids.”

I reluctantly sighed. “Okay, that’s a fair point.”

He looked at his watch and said, “Let’s go make Tori an offer. I have to get to practice.”

“Hey.” I sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. I know what you must think of me.”

“Don’t worry about it. I just want to do the best we can for the kids, okay? That matters more than anything right now.”

I nodded. “You’re right.”

“Things are gonna be better now that you’ll have more help.”

I felt like even more of an asshole now. I’d been bitchy to Wes, but he was still being nice to me. I squared my shoulders and smiled.

“Yeah, you’re right.” But the smile slid away as I said, “If I could only call her…Lauren, I mean. I think that so many times every day. If I could just hear her voice for even a few seconds, telling me that I can do this…” My throat tightened and I looked away.

“I know, Hadley,” Wes said softly. “Me too.”

I didn’t have Lauren, though, and I’d never have her again. It still hurt like nothing ever had before. And not only did I have to find a way to get myself through this, I had to get Lauren’s children through it, too.