Romance By the Book by Sarah Ready

Will

Gavinand I spent the day white-water rafting. He spoke to Lacey on the phone outside of the outfitters store. He didn’t say what they discussed, but since he seemed to have a death wish on the raft, I’ll take a wild guess and say it wasn’t anything good. He chased each roaring bit of river and foaming white rapids he could find with single-minded desperation.

“Now that was fun,” Gavin says. He clinks the neck of his beer bottle against mine.

I take a long swallow of the ice-cold beer.

Gavin continues, “See what I mean? You need to have fun. Live a little. I think there was one point I actually heard you laugh.”

I take another swig of beer. That time he’s talking about, I wasn’t laughing, I was choking on the frothing rapids that splashed over the edge of the raft.

“Life can be fun if you go out, grab it, and wrestle it. Look around you. Fun!” Gavin gestures around us.

We’re standing in an open green space, a rectangular park near downtown Romeo with a short grassy lawn, flower beds in full bloom, and mature shade trees. This park is where they hold their festivals and celebrations and town events.

Like the event tonight.

The Summer Sweetheart’s Dance.

There’s local New York cider, wine and beer. Food stalls selling hot dogs, burgers, grilled corn, and pulled pork for various local charities. And a dessert table manned by The Friends of the Library.

“Fun,” I say.

I try to get a closer look at the dessert table. Did I see Jessie or was that someone else in a yellow dress with black hair?

I’m usually uncomfortable at this type of event. I don’t know what to do, where to stand, who to talk to. It would surprise everyone except Gavin, but I’m not good at talking to people, especially people I don’t know. That’s why I love finance and business. I can talk numbers and ROI and profits and losses with anyone. When I was nine, my father realized I could compute a thirty line balance sheet in my head in seconds. I remember, before that day, I played outside, made friends, I missed my mom, but I got by. After that day, my father became obsessed with finding out what I could do, and how much I could learn.

At first, I fought against the daily afterschool tutors that drilled me from four until nine and the hours of economic theory and business reading lists. I’d often sneak out to ride my bike. So my father took off the wheels and left the frame in the front yard as a reminder of what happened when I disobeyed. I’d hide books to read for fun, under the covers at night with a flashlight. He’d find them and the books would disappear. I’d spend mornings throwing a ball for my dog, Riley, a Jack Russell my mom gave me before she left. One day, I came home and Riley was gone. There was a new morning economics tutor in his place.

The friends I once had disappeared too. If he saw that I invested in someone more than learning, he cut off the friendship. Often cruelly. He even did his best to pit Gavin and I against each other.

If ever I showed I cared about something or someone more than business and economics, they were somehow destroyed. So, I did the only thing I could to protect them, I didn’t let myself care. And if for some reason I did care, I never let them or him know.

“Is father coming to the engagement party?” I ask.

“Nah. The bastard’s in Dubai with his latest mistress.”

“That’s good,” I say. He retired when I turned eighteen and forced him to cash out his ownership in the company—Williams and Williams, our family’s international accounting firm.

He passed ownership on fifty-fifty to Gavin and me. It was his last attempt to pit us against each other. It didn’t work.

If Gavin ever wants to step in and take a roll, he can, if not, that’s fine too. I disburse profits at the end of the fiscal year and both Gavin and I share in what our great-grandfather started. One thing my dad never understood about me—I care more about the people I love than about business or a hundred million dollars. Or maybe he did understand, which is why he worked so hard to remove everyone I cared about from my life. He wanted a business prodigy and then he hated it when he got one.

I look over at Gavin. I truly believe he and Lacey are meant for each other. He loves her, I can tell. He could also use her stability and support. She seems to see him for who he truly is. A good person. But…

“Look, Gavin. If things don’t work out with Lacey, I’ll figure out the business side.” It’ll be hell, but I’ll figure it out. I care more about my brother than a merger.

Gavin sighs, nods, then looks away. “Those were some rapids, huh? Almost as sweet as this time in Queensland on the North Johnstone River. I took a helicopter out through this rain forest with volcanic gorges to class V rapids. It took six days to raft and at night it was like I was in another world. The mushrooms at the base of the trees glowed in the dark and there were luminescent insects floating in the canopy.” He smiles at me. “We should go there.”

Even though the trip today was not my kind of fun, the look on his face makes me agree. “Deal. After the honeymoon.”

Gavin turns to the open lawn. A bluegrass band warms up on a small wooden stage and couples move toward the grassy dance area marked out by hanging lights. It looks like the Summer Sweetheart’s Dance is about to begin.

“Alright,” says Gavin. A fast song begins and the mandolin player’s fingers fly. “Dang. Who is that?”

I turn and look toward the woman he’s nodding at. And I realize it couldn’t have been Jessie at the desert table. Because tonight she’s in a lipstick-red dress and her hair is a long loose black cloud of temptation. She sways under the hanging lights and her eyes are bright and luminous.

When she sees Gavin looking her way, she smiles and it’s like I’m trying to look into the sun—she’s so beautiful that it hurts.

After I learned my dad would take away or destroy anything I cared about, it was easy to hide my emotions and pretend I didn’t have any. That I didn’t care about anyone at all. In reality, it didn’t take too many years until that became my truth. I shoved every emotion down until I didn’t feel anymore. I stopped caring.

Except with Jessie. It always hurt to see her and pretend I didn’t care, or worse, didn’t want her. When we were fifteen and Jessie made it clear she wanted Gavin and was disgusted by me, I should’ve been happy for them both. Happy my father would definitely never see how much I wanted her. But it made an angry abyss roar inside me. Right now, it’s roaring again.

I see the way Jessie looks at Gavin.

He straightens and rolls his shoulders.

He sees it too.

Like hell they’re meant to be.

Like hell this Miss Erma person is never wrong.

I may never have been able to tell Jessie how I feel and I may have screwed up my chance with her years ago, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stand by and watch her chase my brother.

I turn to Gavin. “Hold my beer.”