Rapture & Ruin by Julia Sykes
Chapter 10
Max
“Where are we going?” Her voice was breathy from the exertion of matching my longer strides, and I couldn’t help but imagine what it would sound like if she gasped my name.
Over the long nights that’d passed since I’d saved her from getting hit by that car, I’d obsessively thought about our moments together: her flashing eyes, those long legs, her desperate grip on my arms as I checked her for injuries.
Fuck, I hadn’t realized the depth of my fixation until I pulled her away from my cruel sister. Now, I was playing out the fantasy again in real time. I had her slight body tucked against my side, carrying her away from danger. Protecting her.
“Somewhere far away from my sister,” I bit out, frustrated with the direction of my thoughts. I should be furious with her for daring to show up at my family home, but instead, I was furious with myself for craving her. “I can’t believe you told Francesca you’re my girlfriend.”
Something hot and possessive burned in my chest, and I pulled her closer. I gritted my teeth and shoved that possessiveness deep down. I had no business feeling possessive of Alexandra Fitzgerald. It was pathetic that I would even react to the idea that she said she was my girlfriend.
I’d spent far too much time obsessing over her, just because she was the first woman I’d touched in years. It was time to cut that shit out. My fixation was bad for us both. Especially since she’d forced her way back into my life. How was I supposed to forget about how soft and delicate she felt in my arms when she gave me no choice but to hold her?
“You really are insane, Bambi,” I ground out. “What the hell were you thinking?”
She stiffened, but I continued to hustle her along, driven to put as much space as possible between her and my sister. If Francesca found out who she really was—Fitzgerald’s daughter—there would be hell to pay.
I had to get her far away from my family, for both our sakes.
“I need to talk to you,” she insisted, as though that wasn’t completely crazy. “You think I wanted to go to your father’s house? I didn’t have a choice.”
I glared down at her. “Of course you had a choice. I promised to leave you alone, and now you’ve decided to come looking for me?” The woman must have a death wish. “How many times do I have to tell you how dangerous I am?”
“Don’t bother,” she retorted breezily, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she’d just put herself in the crosshairs of a criminal syndicate. “You can say it as many times as you want, but you’ll be wasting your breath. I won’t let you scare me off when you’re a threat to my dad. I came to your house to show you something important.”
Her steps faltered, but I refused to stop moving. I had to get her away from my family. They couldn’t know who she was or what I’d done to her. If I’d succeeded in getting the information from her that I’d wanted, I would’ve been celebrated by my family. But I’d failed, and I’d risked us all by pulling Fitzgerald’s precious daughter into this. If my father found out the reckless risk I’d taken, I would definitely draw his ire rather than his respect.
“Stop.” She tried to sound firm and commanding, but I kept walking. She refused to understand the danger she’d put herself in.
“I said stop, Max.”
I jerked to a halt and rounded on her, my frustration sparking into anger. She was just as stubborn and reckless as I was, and it was absolutely infuriating.
“What?” I snapped. “What was so important that you risked your safety to show it to me?”
She lifted her chin, and those gemstone green eyes clashed with mine. I glowered down at her. She swallowed hard, but she didn’t drop her defiant posture beneath the weight of my menace.
“Evidence,” she replied evenly.
My brows rose. She couldn’t possibly mean what I thought she meant. That would be utterly idiotic as well as reckless.
“Evidence,” I repeated, the word a cold, flat warning. “You decided to look into your father’s ties to the Bratva? You really do have a death wish.”
I regretted my actions more than ever. She’d never known anything about her father’s corruption. She’d been entirely innocent and removed from the situation. Now, she’d plunged into the conspiracy, and if she kept digging, she wouldn’t like what she found.
I didn’t want that for her. The truth would hurt her, but not nearly as much as my enemies would hurt her if they felt threatened by her actions. Or my own family.
The thought of her screaming for mercy echoed through my mind, taking on the familiar, grating note of my mother’s screams. My fists clenched at my sides, and I tasted blood in my mouth as my gnashing teeth tore my cheek.
She bristled, offended. “No, because my father’s ties to the Bratva don’t exist. I have the evidence from the casefiles of your family’s crimes. There’s absolutely nothing in there about Bratva involvement. If I can just show you the truth, then—”
“Are you fucking serious?” I cut her off, furious at her for recklessly endangering herself.
She straightened her spine and met my rage head-on, her peridot eyes sparking with her own anger. She was fierce but so small in my shadow. Did she really not have any idea how fucking breakable she was?
“Yes, I’m serious.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a flash drive. “This is the evidence my father brought against your family at trial ten years ago. They might’ve told you a different version of history, but this is proof. They aren’t at all innocent, Max. The Bratva had nothing to do with them being sent to jail.”
I snatched the drive from her hand and flung it down on the pavement. A soft sound of protest left her throat when I crushed it beneath my boot.
“I know my family is guilty,” I seethed. “You’ve wasted your time, and you put yourself at risk for nothing. I don’t give a shit about their crimes; don’t you get that? I care about the scumbag crap that your father pulled. I care that he’s the fucking beloved mayor of New York, when his hands are every bit as bloody as my father’s. I’m not naïve like you, Bambi.” I spat the insult in a harsh rebuke. Maybe if I was an asshole, she’d let go of this pitying crap and see reason. “I know how the world really works. People aren’t good. They aren’t kind. You live in a gilded fantasy, and if that’s where you want to stay in perfect ignorance, that’s fine with me. But stop coming to me with your bullshit. I’ve warned you about this already.”
Her freckled cheeks colored to a deep red flush by the time I finished. To my shock, she stepped toward me and lifted her face to mine, getting right in my personal space.
A low growl left my chest as the heat inside me flared into an inferno. Her lush lips were so close to mine, and her scent infused my senses—sweet and delicate, just like her. All I had to do was lower my face mere inches, and I could capture her mouth. I could tame that sharp tongue. I could hold her close and make her melt, until she didn’t have a thought in her pretty head, much less thoughts about defying me.
She let out a little warning growl of her own. “I’m not going to allow you to continue this insane vendetta against my father. If you think for one second that I’ll leave him vulnerable to your threats, then you’re the naïve one. And stop calling me Bambi.”
Her chest rose and fell on rapid breaths, and tantalizing images of her panting beneath me filled my mind. I could make her gasp. I could make her beg.
I could make her forget all about everything but me, and she wouldn’t think to put herself in danger as long as I had her in my arms.
I came to my senses and snapped my scowl back into place. That fantasy had become far too familiar and far too tempting. There was no way beautiful, innocent Alexandra would ever welcome me into her bed. I was deluding and distracting myself from what was really important: keeping her safe.
I’d been the one to pull her into this mess, and it was on me to protect her, no matter how ludicrous that concept was. Even if that meant protecting her from herself.
She was doing all of this out of loyalty to her father. She wanted to convince me to drop my vendetta against him because she believed I would hurt him.
I respected her for that loyalty. And I recognized the fierce determination that came along with it. She wouldn’t drop this until she felt that her father was safe from harm.
I would have to risk honesty.
“Since you don’t seem to care about your own safety, I’ll level with you. I’m not going to attack your father.” My reluctant admission was so rough that the words sounded like I forced them through a mouthful of barbed wire. “I want leverage against him. I want him to know that I have evidence of what he really is, and that I won’t hesitate to use it against him if he ever tries to come after my family again. That’s why I questioned you in the first place. I thought you could give me testimony that I could hold over his head. I was never going to hurt you. And I only threatened your father to keep you from going to the cops.
“If I’d known I would have to be your damn babysitter, I never would’ve approached you in the first place.” I raked a hand through my hair, frustrated.
I expected her to recoil at my last remark, incensed at the insult. Instead, her expression softened.
“Does your family know about what you’re doing?” she asked, her tone dropping to a gentler cadence. “Do they know that you’re going after my dad?”
When her gaze flicked to the ruined flesh around my eye, I realized that I’d forgotten to hide the worst of the damage to my face. I quickly mussed my hair so that it fell over my brow once again. I’d already shown far too much vulnerability around her. She was hammering against my defenses with her confounding mixture of soft concern and fierce defiance.
I’d never dealt with anyone like her, and I didn’t know how to be around her. She put me off-balance in a way I’d never experienced before.
It only made me want her that much more.
My jaw ticked. I shouldn’t want her at all. She was an impossibility.
“They know what your father is guilty of,” I rumbled. “They know that he worked with the Russians to destroy us.”
She eyed me carefully, as though I was a cornered beast that might snap at her if she pressed me too hard. “Why are you doing this for them? I get that you think you’re protecting them, but your sister was so cruel to you. Are you really willing to risk going to jail by continuing this plot against my dad? My father has no reason to investigate your family now. There is no threat. So why are you putting yourself at risk for Francesca? Are you close with your parents? Because if you are, I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to jeopardize your freedom.”
Her words hit my chest like physical blows, and I rocked back on my heels. “You don’t know the first thing about my father. Yeah, my sister is a piece of work, and you got a glimpse at her lovely personality today, thanks to your recklessness. Family is more than hugs and coddling. Sometimes love is hard, but blood is everything.” I repeated the harsh promise that’d been drilled into me since birth.
She didn’t understand how the world worked, but she did understand familial duty. Her loyalty to her father proved as much.
“What about your mother?” she asked, still confoundingly soft and concerned. “Do you think she would want you to risk yourself for this plot against my dad?”
My fury was doused by the distant memory of my mother’s cries for mercy, and my heart was suddenly encased in ice. “I wouldn’t know.” My voice came out flat and cold. “She’s dead. She died when I was thirteen. My dad went to prison around the same time, and Francesca had to serve as my legal guardian for five years. She was barely more than a kid herself. Just because my family is fucked up doesn’t change the fact that they’re my blood.”
Alexandra’s delicate features pinched with an expression that turned my stomach. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
My scowl deepened, and I lashed out. “I already told you I don’t want your pity.”
Her eyes glittered with the first hint of tears, and something tugged at the center of my chest. “It’s not pity. It’s empathy. My mother died when I was eleven.”
My defensive cruelty crumbled beneath the weight of my regret. “I know. And I’m sorry.”
Her lashes fluttered as she blinked away tears. “Thank you.” Her voice hitched, and it tore at something deep inside me.
She didn’t question how I knew, but I assumed that she reasoned it away. Her mother’s death was public knowledge; the information was readily available to anyone who did even a cursory internet search for Ron Fitzgerald.
“I get why you’re so fiercely protective of your father,” I said, my tone gentling in the face of her grief. “Keep being naïve, Bambi. You’ll be happier that way. Leave all this alone, and I’ll leave you alone. And I won’t hurt your dad.”
Instead of relaxing, she stiffened with renewed indignation. “Stop telling me I’m naïve. I’m not stupid, Max. And I’m not weak. I’m not dropping this until you do.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I didn’t say you’re stupid. And I’m starting to get that you’re not weak, no matter how delicate you look. But you have to keep your pretty nose out of this. The Bratva is far more dangerous to you than I am, and if you keep digging, they’ll eventually take notice.”
I would never hurt her, but I knew what those animals could do to an innocent woman. I’d never allow them anywhere near Alexandra.
She scoffed, oblivious to the threat they posed. “You don’t get it, do you? There is no Bratva conspiracy. I know my dad. He’s a good person.”
I pressed my lips together, holding in more argumentative words. Clearly, they would get me nowhere.
“I’m sorry I brought this into your life.” I didn’t bother repeating that she was naïve. That would only piss her off, and I needed her to listen. “What can I say to make you steer clear of all this? I told you I wouldn’t let you get hurt, and if you go digging up dirt on the Russians—or even if my own family finds out about your little investigation—you’ll have a target on your back.”
She met me squarely in the eye, defiant no matter how I tried to reason with her. “You can’t make me drop this. Not until you do. You’re the threat here, Max. No one else. My dad isn’t safe until I convince you to let this go.”
I grimaced. “I already told you I’m not going to attack him. Why are you being so difficult?”
She shook her head. “You think you’re protecting your family. I’m protecting mine. I’ll do whatever I have to do in order to keep my father safe.”
I ignored the flutter of fear in my gut and fixed her with a cool stare. “Are you thinking of going to the cops again, Alexandra?” My tone was as cold as steel, but there was no edge to the threat. I’d already showed my hand, and I didn’t have much leverage to keep her in line anymore.
Her calm expression didn’t betray even a hint of fear in the face of my menace. Why wasn’t she afraid of me? It was unbelievably frustrating that she wasn’t at all intimidated into cooperating with my demands. Hardened criminals pissed themselves when I scowled in their direction. Alexandra simply flipped her long, shining hair over her shoulder and looked directly into my ruined face.
“No, I won’t go to the cops. Because despite what you did to me, I don’t think you deserve to go to jail. Whatever awful thing happened to you, I believe it’s driven you to this madness. Jail won’t help you.”
Shock punched me, but I kept my face carefully blank. “You really think I’m insane?”
“I think you’re troubled,” she countered gently. “And I think your family told you lies about my dad. You know what?” Her eyes brightened with sudden understanding. “You can keep looking for proof that my father colluded with the Bratva. As long as you’re not planning on hurting him, you can investigate to your heart’s content. Because you won’t find anything to use against him. But I’m still asking you to drop it, for your own sake. Stalking my dad isn’t safe. If you’re caught, you will go to jail, and I’ll have nothing to do with it.”
Something swelled at the center of my chest, and I resisted the urge to rub my sternum. Her concern did something weird to me. I wasn’t at all comfortable with the sensation.
I blew out a long sigh. At least she’d agreed to walk away from all this. At least she would be safe.
“Okay. That’s fine. You just stay out of it, and I’ll do what I have to do.”
Her eyes tightened with some emotion I couldn’t quite identify, and suddenly her hand closed around mine. I stared at her slender fingers where they clutched at me, utterly baffled and a little unnerved.
She was touching me. Willingly. Urgently.
The heat of her tender touch sent a pulse of insidious warmth into my skin. I couldn’t bring myself to pull away.
“You don’t have to do this,” she said softly. “You have a choice, Max.”
Her breathy voice on my name sent a shockwave through my body. I clenched my teeth and tore my hand from her grasp before my weakness for her could overwhelm me.
“Then I’ve made my choice,” I bit out. “Go home, Bambi. We’re done.”
I turned sharply on my heel, forcibly severing the connection between us. Her soft gasp caressed my skin, winding around me like a clinging vine, threatening to bind me in place.
Fuck, I wanted her. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted a woman. She was soft and fierce at the same time, a contradiction I found fascinating. I wanted her to release that breathy gasp as I claimed a savage kiss. I craved her surrender, to possess her.
My fists clenched at my sides, and my fingernails bit into my palms as I took my first step, wrenching free from her alluring pull. Somehow, I managed to stalk away from her.
She was my enemy’s daughter. I’d kidnapped and terrorized her. I had no business being anywhere near her, much less touching her.
No matter how much I wanted her, I had to leave Alexandra Fitzgerald firmly in my past.