Rapture & Ruin by Julia Sykes
Chapter 4
Allie
“You’re late, Freckles.”
I jolted and gasped for breath as Max’s furious, twisted face filled my vision.
“Jesus, you look like shit.”
I recognized Gavin’s voice. My bully had said the mocking nickname, not my fierce captor. I wasn’t in that dank basement; I was in the U.S. Attorney’s Office, rushing to see my boss so that I could make my feeble excuses for being late.
I automatically curled my hands to fists to hide the fact that my fingers were trembling from the sudden rush of residual terror. Don’t show weakness.
With effort, I forced my lungs to expand on a deep breath and relaxed my stiff shoulders. I schooled my face to a carefully neutral expression and turned to face my longtime tormentor.
“Good morning, Gavin.” I greeted him coolly, as though he was just another colleague and he hadn’t insulted me in the middle of the office.
I glanced around, the quick darting of my eyes betraying my nervousness. Had anyone overheard him? It would’ve been obvious to anyone paying attention that I’d rushed into work almost an hour late, but the prospect of being ridiculed by my bully in front of senior staff made my face heat with the first blush of mortification.
Damn it, now my cheeks were pink. I’d learned to mostly control my body language when enduring Gavin’s cruelty, but I’d never been able to master the flush of my alabaster skin. And after looking in the mirror this morning, I knew it was even paler than usual. Dark circles smudged beneath my eyes, and my freckles were more pronounced than ever, covering my face like splattered mud. I’d been in such a rush to get out the door that I’d barely taken time to put on minimal makeup. Over the years, my carrot-red hair had darkened to a merciful shade of copper, but my lashes and brows were still a soft ginger color. Without makeup to define those hated features, I looked like a washed-out mess.
My appearance didn’t even begin to mirror the extent to which I felt like a mess on the inside. My mind was a fear-addled wreck, jittery thoughts skittering across my consciousness. I’d barely managed to collect myself enough to walk with my head held high: a shadow of professionalism. Gavin sensed my distress like a shark scenting blood in the water. I hadn’t even made it to Mr. Callahan’s office to apologize in person, and my tormentor had already pounced.
“I have work to do.” I tried for a frosty tone, and to my credit, I managed to lift my chin and look him squarely in his navy-blue eyes. They danced with cruel amusement, and his pearly white grin tilted at one corner. With his dark blond hair perfectly styled and his impeccably tailored suit absolutely wrinkle-free, I appeared even more haggard standing in his vicinity.
“Looks like someone started the weekend early. I didn’t think you were a party girl, but coming into work hungover?” He clicked his tongue in mock disappointment. “You surprise me, Freckles. You were always so lame in high school.” His eyes raked down my body, scoring a stinging trail everywhere his judgmental gaze landed. “You know, I was actually starting to think you were kind of hot. Turns out you need a pound of makeup to look halfway decent. You always were a pale freak.”
I glanced around again, anxiety getting the better of me. No one seemed to be paying us any attention, and my bully spoke in a low tone that was meant just for me. People bustled past, but they were far more concerned with their caseload than my private war with Gavin.
A war that I was losing.
Badly.
To my horror, a lump formed in my throat, and my eyes burned. No no no! I couldn’t cry in front of Gavin.
But after the terrible events that’d taken place in less than twenty-four hours, all my emotional strength had been tapped out.
His grin turned nasty, splitting his handsome features into something monstrous. “Aw, are you going to cry? I knew you weren’t cut out for this internship. No way did a mouse like you qualify on merit. Do you know how hard I had to work to get this gig? And your daddy probably placed one phone call to his buddy Callahan and ensured your placement here.”
“Oh, shut up!” I snapped, completely losing my tenuous composure. “You’re not some disadvantaged underdog. You’re a spoiled brat, and I wouldn’t be surprised if your dad was the one to grease the wheels to secure your placement. He probably couldn’t stand the prospect of everyone realizing that his precious son is a stupid, entitled douchebag.”
“Miss Fitzgerald.” Mr. Callahan’s voice cracked through my tirade like a whip. “I’ll see you in my office.”
All the blood drained from my face, and my stomach dropped to the floor.
Oh god, oh god, oh god. My boss had heard me berating a colleague. I’d called Gavin a douchebag right in front of him. No one had heard my bully needling me, but he’d riled me enough that I’d raised my voice in impotent fury. I’d been desperate to hurt him like he’d been hurting me, but I’d only given him what he wanted.
His malicious grin remained fixed in place, his eyes flashing with triumph. He stepped in close, making sure I felt his intimidating presence. At six-foot one, he towered over my five-foot four frame.
Memories of when he’d used that size to his advantage assailed me. At our elite private school, he had been the popular golden boy and the ringleader of my numerous tormentors. I’d been an obvious target: the awkward kid with a dead mom and a famous dad who didn’t quite know how to raise a girl. Ever since we’d both landed the same internship, it’d taken all my willpower to resist Gavin’s renewed cruelty. Today, I’d finally cracked.
I hated that he could make me feel like this again. I’d worked so hard to overcome this weakness, but my awful ordeal with Max had made me far too fragile this morning.
“Enjoy getting fired,” Gavin said in a low, almost intimate whisper. He waited until a tremor raced over my skin before turning on his heel and strolling away like he hadn’t just ripped me to shreds.
“Allie,” Mr. Callahan prompted, already halfway to his office.
I cringed and followed him on leaden legs, feeling as though I was headed for the gallows. I was so getting fired. That office door would close behind me, and I would be scolded before being told to pack up my desk. All my dreams and determination to make my own way in the world crumbled inside my chest.
Somehow, I made it into his office. The soft click of the door closing behind me clanged through my body like a prison cell locking me in and sealing my fate. My internship was over. My reputation was destroyed.
I sank my teeth into my lower lip to stop it from quivering. I stared at a spot on the worn blue carpet, unable to meet Mr. Callahan’s disappointed gaze.
“Is Gavin bothering you?” he asked.
I blinked, sure I must be misinterpreting his gentle tone. He sounded almost concerned, but that couldn’t be right. I’d just insulted a coworker in the middle of the office.
“You can tell me,” he said, still sounding bafflingly reassuring. His gray eyes were soft and warm, and the fine lines around his salt and pepper moustache drew deeper with worry. “I doubt you called him a douchebag if he didn’t deserve it.” His lips quirked up at the corners, as though he was fighting a smile.
Then he turned suddenly grim. “If Mr. McCrae is being inappropriate with you, tell me now, and I’ll handle it. I don’t tolerate workplace harassment.”
A confession teased the tip of my tongue. My life would be so much easier if Gavin were fired. I wouldn’t have to see him at all. We didn’t go to the same university; he’d chosen Harvard, whereas I’d had enough of hyper-elite schools and ruthless rivalries. It was just bad luck that our families ran in the same circles, and he’d gone for the same prestigious legal internship that I’d applied for.
I swallowed hard and shook my head, refusing the lifeline Mr. Callahan offered. Gavin’s dad was one of my father’s biggest political supporters and donors. I couldn’t let my personal weakness damage such an important relationship. My dad loved being mayor, helping the people of New York. I wouldn’t do anything that might sour his connections.
“No, sir. Gavin’s not harassing me. We just had a disagreement, and I…” My throat went tight, trying to hold in the false admission that I was unfit to work this morning because of my own carelessness. I squared my shoulders and forced myself to continue. “I’m not feeling one-hundred-percent today. I’m sorry I behaved unprofessionally. And I’m so sorry that I was late. I’ll put in whatever hours are necessary to get caught up. Please let me know what I can do to make this right.”
My tone barely wavered by the end, and my back was straight. There. The worst was over. I’d taken responsibility for my supposed personal failings. Now I just had to withstand Mr. Callahan’s judgment. At least he didn’t seem to be in the mood to fire me, so I kept a tiny spark of hope flickering in my chest.
His lips thinned, and I suppressed the urge to squirm beneath his scrutiny. Then, to my shock, he placed a warm hand on my shoulder in an undeniably reassuring gesture. “You can talk to me, Allie. You’re not in trouble. I already know Gavin’s no angel. You were right, by the way: his father made a call to my superiors. I wouldn’t have approved his placement if my hand hadn’t been forced. You earned your right to be here. He didn’t. Never think otherwise.”
“You heard that?” I squeaked, mortified that my boss had been privy to more of the awful conversation than I’d realized.
His hand squeezed gently, offering paternal comfort that I never would’ve expected from the wickedly clever and infamously tough prosecutor. “Relax, Allie,” he soothed. “I’m not angry with you. I wish I could give that little shit a piece of my mind, too.” He beamed at me, appearing almost proud. “But don’t tell anyone I said that.”
“I won’t,” I breathed, quick to promise him anything that would keep him smiling rather than yelling at me for my failings. I cleared my throat, struggling to maintain professionalism. “But I am sorry for being late today. Please let me know what I can do to make it up to you, Mr. Callahan.”
“It’s Mike.” He corrected me with a wink. “I’m not as scary as you seem to think, but I have to admit I’m a little flattered that you find me so intimidating.”
“Well, your record speaks for itself,” I gushed, marveling that one of my personal heroes was being so casual with me. “My dad’s always said that you’re one of the smartest people he’s ever known. I referenced your work on the Kassel case in my law school application essay. Totally inspiring.”
Mr. Callahan—Mike—laughed, a rich sound that warmed my insides and chased away the last of the chill in my bones. “Now I’m definitely flattered. Where did you apply?”
“Columbia. I won’t find out if I’m admitted until the fall, but I applied early. It’s my first-choice law school.”
“Your dad’s alma mater.” His voice was rich with approval, and I soaked it in. “I’m sure he’s very proud of you. Based on your work ethic and GPA, I’m sure you’ll successfully follow in his footsteps.”
I fiddled with my locket, slightly anxious but pleased at the praise. “I’m not planning on going into politics,” I admitted. Everyone thought I was trying to emulate my father—and I supposed I was choosing a similar path for my education and career choice. But that was about proving that I was capable and strong. My future would be very different. “I want to stay in Law. I want to make a difference.”
Mike’s brows rose. “You want to be a prosecutor?”
I nodded. “I plan to go pro bono after I establish my career for a few years. I want to help people.”
“You’re considering pro bono?” He seemed surprised and a little impressed.
I basked in his approval. “Yes. I want to help women who have been victims of assault. I want to help them get justice.”
My heart burned with familiar purpose as I said the words, and my fingers traced the outline of my locket. My mother had been my personal hero, and when it’d come time to choose a volunteering position as part of my high school curriculum, I’d followed her example: I’d spent four years helping out at a local women’s shelter. Once I got to college, I started pushing for women’s rights in my political initiatives with the Young Democrats.
I knew what evil men were capable of, and I would do everything I could to empower and protect vulnerable women.
Mike noted my fierce expression and smiled. “You might not want to admit it, but you are your father’s daughter. He’s a good person, too.”
I flushed at the compliment, warmth flooding my chest. I could hardly believe the turn this conversation had taken. I wasn’t going to be fired. And Gavin really hadn’t earned his place here. I should’ve known that he only leveled that underhanded accusation at me because it was his own reality. But I’d been so frazzled that I’d shrieked childish insults instead of calmly issuing a retort.
Mike gave my shoulder one last reassuring squeeze before slowly drawing away. “I’m glad to see you smiling again. Don’t let that douchebag get to you.”
My jaw dropped when he echoed my insult to Gavin, and he chuckled. “You don’t have to look so shocked. I’m only human. I do have a sense of humor.” Some of the levity dropped from his tone, and I stood straighter under his suddenly stern bearing. “Tell me if he’s bothering you, Allie. I mean it. I’d love to have an excuse to fire his ass.”
My mouth opened and closed a few times before I settled on nodding mutely. This whole situation had gone better than I ever could’ve dreamed. Not only was I not fired, but Mr. Callahan had invited me to be on a first-name basis with him. He’d called Gavin on his shit.
“Thanks, Mr. Callahan,” I finally managed.
“Mike,” he corrected me, still stern.
I offered him an almost giddy smile, still in disbelief that this was really happening. “Mike.”
He beamed. “Okay, go get to work. No need to stay late. Just get as much done as you can before five. A young woman like you should have some fun on a Friday night. Don’t stay here too long.”
“I won’t,” I promised, even though that was a white lie. I would stay as long as necessary to catch up on what I’d missed this morning. “Thank you.”
He gave me a nod, dismissing me with another warm smile.
I walked back out into the hall like I was floating on a cloud. This day had been such an emotional rollercoaster that my head was spinning. For the next few merciful hours, I finally found the mental fortitude to shove all thoughts of Max and Gavin from my mind.