Run & Hide by Beatrix Hollow

4

Ava was asleep and I was watching her with all my attention. Creepy perhaps, but I couldn’t bear to take my eyes away. She was my own Sleeping Beauty. My hand was pressed into the window as I stood there watching her chest move up and down breathing. Her eyes twitched behind the lids and I imagined what she might be dreaming.

I couldn’t stop watching and why should I? She wasn’t awake to see me. Though honestly, I did it while she was awake too. She brushed it off as my charming weirdness. Funny.

The past five years without her had been torture. Especially knowing that she was likely dating. That someone had been inside my Ava. My teeth pressed tight together as I ground my jaw.

There wouldn’t be a single day without her from here on out. She was mine and I’d work out the memory of anyone who dared to worm their tiny dick between her soft thighs. I’d work the memory out thoroughly.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Brandon called out. My eyes swept over Ava’s face one last time before I turned to look at the other occupied campsite. Brandon, the drummer for Nix, and Matthias, the guitarist, were staring at me with strange looks. I smiled, nothing to see here folks, and they looked even more uncomfortable.

Couldn’t a monster watch his obsession without being judged? Guess not. I sighed and walked across the little street until my shoes were crunching into the earth right beside the guitarist, Matthias.

Matthias leaned over the open instructions, squinting. He was trying to direct which pole went where to Brandon while steadily smacking his skin for mosquitos. We hadn’t even been here an hour and Matthias already had inflamed red bumps covering his pale arms and calves. He shifted back, putting a little more distance between us.

“Hey,” I said with a smile.

“Hey, Caspian.” Matthias had a London accent worn down from years in the states. My own accent was in a similar state--although different in sound since I was previously a Spaniard. My “D” and “T” were a little too smooth.

“You know… I thought I told you not to come,” I said calmly.

“Well, you don’t own the campground,” Matthias said with an amused huff. The man was all honed charm and sharp empathy, reading people better than most. Great for interviews.

Clearly, he hated nature. He’d looked constipated by our setting since stepping out of the car. As if some stray pine cone had woken up on the forest floor and crawled on up his ass. His pale skin held a permanent red flush and his blonde hair was damp with sweat.

He smacked his arm suddenly and gave a slew of colorful curses as a smear of red blood trailed over his forearm, along with the smashed corpse of a mosquito. I watched as he flicked the dead bug. It launched like a missile, landing on the ground near my feet.

“Who knows, it might be fun camping,” he grumbled sarcastically. “Maybe you weren’t wrong about needing a short break.” His eyes quickly jerked up to my face, taking in my reaction to his comment. I gave him a small smile that he eyed warily.

“This isn’t a small break,” I said. Brandon came walking up, looking almost as out of place in nature as Matthias. His green mohawk was looking tired and he kept sneering at the trees as if they were shouting jeers at him.

He was pissed off at me and completely unwilling to accept my choice. Matthias was too but he was trying to play good cop. Brandon didn’t have the emotional control to be anything but angry and confrontational though.

“You can’t just cancel the rest of our tour to chase pussy you jerked off to as a teen,” Brandon snapped. “Get the fuck over it. A million groupies are clamoring for your cock at every show.” He ended in a sneer. Matthias swallowed, his eyebrows going up in concern.

“Chasing pussy,” I said slowly, letting the words roll around my mouth. “Just a wet, warm pussy I want to stick my overeager dick into, huh?” A smooth chuckle rolled from my mouth. I stepped up into Brandon’s space and he leaned away, his face pinching in distaste. My eyes must have looked wild. I felt wound tight.

“Okay, let’s calm down,” Matthias said nervously. Some people could sense I wasn’t quite right, something directly under the skin hiding. Matthias was a keener man than most. He could sense the undercurrent of violence lurking in the murky depths, beneath folds of sinewy muscle and smiling charm.

These two were annoying. Ava was everything. She was the reason I was in the band at all. I’d wanted her to see me. I wanted more of her attention. I wanted her to love me.

However, the days of us being apart were over now. I was done letting her live without me in her life. I wanted us so thoroughly entwined that she didn’t breathe without me being able to count the breaths, didn’t sleep without me surrounding her—every fucking inch of her pressing into me—and I wanted so deep inside her that not another being alive could touch the places I’d been.

That’s why the tour was canceled.

“You should just leave. This is pointless,” I said, my eyes sweeping over Brandon’s face in fake pity. I gave him a little smile. Smiles were effective in getting people to do what you wanted, in smoothing out confrontation, and in making me look normal. Look, I’m a human just like you… not.

Brandon never seemed particularly swayed by my smiles though. It was a wasted effort. He was one hundred percent punk energy, chaotic and angry. I’d never met someone so annoyingly human.

“You’re breaking contract. You’re screwing us all over.”

“You think I give a single shit about that?” I asked and his eyes rounded in shock.

“Don’t you?” Brandon asked. Matthias shifted uncomfortably. I could practically hear him begging us to stop fighting in his mind. Confrontation made him anxious. It must be a joy for him to be so close to Brandon.

“The only thing I’ve ever cared about, and will ever care about, is her.” I shrugged.

“You’re fucking insane,” Brandon snapped out, his face curling in anger. He looked at me like he'd never seen me before. Matthias' gaze darted back and forth between us.

Brandon surged forward, shoving me. It was not the right choice. I stumbled back a few steps. Tension hardened my muscles, all that pent-up need and agitation from an unclaimed mate was like itching powder on my skin. The compulsion to peel it off and show the monster peeking underneath was tempting.

I turned to look at our vehicle. Ava was still tucked inside. Still asleep. That was good. There was a lot Ava shouldn’t see when it came to me.

I pulled back my fist and smashed it into Brandon’s cheek. I felt the pain radiate near my knuckles as his head jerked to the side. He bent over, spitting blood on the ground then looked up at me with hate bleeding from his eyes.

This wasn't the first time we'd fought. He was confrontational as fuck and once a fight came calling, I never backed down. Instead, I met it with excitement. Brandon wanted to fight? Fine, we could fight. It would be my pleasure.

I gave him a smile and then punched him again, hard enough his feet flew out from under him and he was chewing on a mouthful of dirt.

He was trying to ruin what Ava and I had. He was trying to keep us apart. The thoughts swirled in my head.

“Caspian, stop!” Matthias barked. Violence was natural to me and causing someone else pain was cathartic. I felt that relief unfurl and calm me. This was fun.

I stepped over Brandon, smiling as I thought about what he might look like if I kept pummeling him. He'd groan in pain while writhing on the ground. He’d claw at the pine needles and dirt to get away from me. A shudder rolled over me. He saw it and lifted his arms to cover his head.

This was a side of me Ava could never see. The side that reveled in the flush of pain splayed forcefully across the faces of my enemies.

“Fuck you,” Brandon growled behind his arms. He was always snarling but he didn’t know how to bite.

“What's going on!” I heard Ava ask and my eyes widened, my mouth dropping open in shock. I swung my head around and saw her quickly coming across the street, her long dark hair moving around her as she hurried. The sensation of electricity raced over my body, my stomach dropping.

I tried to think of something to say but my mind was swirling. She couldn’t see me like this. Fuck!

“Brandon tripped on a pinecone, fell into a tree. Probably shouldn’t be chugging beer,” I said with an amused smile, smoothing my face into a calm, friendly look. I was anything but calm though. I felt like throwing up as I waited to see if she’d believe me. Matthias stood there silently, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to say anything though.

“Fucking sociopath,” Brandon grumbled from below me. I gave a good-natured laugh and held my hand out for him. He flinched as if I was going to hit him again and I ground my teeth. Ava might have seen his reaction and wonder what it meant.

Brandon realized the fight was over and slapped my hand away, getting up without my help.

“He fell?” Ava asked, her eyes darting around to each of us apprehensively. She stepped up to Brandon and looked at his face with concern. He looked over her shoulder to me.

Since Ava’s back was to me I smiled widely at him, happy he’d be nursing a throbbing face. His lip was split, leaking drops of ruby blood onto his chin. I pressed my hands to Ava’s shoulder and pulled her flush against me.

I wanted to touch her all the time, her body flush and twisted with mine. I wanted to rip her shorts off on a stage and make the entire world watch as I pushed in between her thighs, sinking in so deep she writhed and whimpered. Show them all they were right, she was mine.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was still keyed up from the violence and shock of her nearly seeing something she shouldn't.

Ava turned to look at me and I smiled down at her, getting lost in her gaze before I soaked in all her features. Ava had such lovely lips and soft skin. I loved the shape of her face. I loved the little hairs at her temples that never grew out. I loved the angle of her jaw, a little stronger than some women’s. It matched her.

She was wearing a crop top, the fabric like a second skin. It dipped into a low v on her chest. The plump swells of her breasts were a beautiful sight. My hands slid over the bare skin near her belly until I was gripping her sides, loving how much skin my fingers could span over in this shirt.

Her expression didn’t say she entirely believed the story I just gave. Apprehension and confusion were etched into her face. I’d have to be more careful. I couldn’t risk this with her. Ava was strong but she was gentle to some things.

“Come on, you rest while I set up camp,” I told her. For a moment, she kept trying to read me but then she let it go, the question leaving her face.

“Right, you owe me that,” she said with a small, endearing smile that made me feel like wrapping her in my arms and squeezing her tight as if she were a pinata that would burst with sweetness if I could just squeeze hardenough.

She could ask anything of me. So much more than putting up a tent. She could ask me to do horrible things and I’d do them without question.

Ava was everything to me. She was my peace, lulling the storm inside me to a gentle ripple. A raging wave became a glassy surface when she was near.

And yet... she was also the thing that threatened to send me spiraling.

The only thing I needed was to have her love me like I loved her. Why was it so hard for her?

I put my arm around her shoulders and tugged her towards the street to go back to our side.

“I’ve got a first aid kit,” she said, starting to turn back to the other two. I gripped her harder, not letting her.

“They do too. It’s okay,” I said. No idea if that was true—nor did I care right now.

“Okay.” She looked somewhat defeated. I peered over my shoulder at Brandon and Matthias. Brandon spat a mixture of blood and spit on the ground and glared at me. Matthias stood there looking resigned and tired, dragging his arm across his sweaty forehead. They were unsurprisingly pissed off with me.

I leaned into Ava and pressed a kiss atop her head, inhaling her smell before insisting she lay down in the car again.

Quickly, I grabbed water from the cooler and cracked the lid, handing that to her before closing the door. The car window was down now, I realized. She must have gotten warm, rolled the window down, and then heard the fight.

She smiled at me as she took a small sip of water.

“I’m lucky to have you,” she said and I felt warmth in my chest. She reached through the window and grabbed my hand, squeezing it. I wanted to do more for her so that she’d squeeze my hand and compliment me again.

Love me, I insisted in my head.

“I’m the lucky one,” I countered. She raised a questioning eyebrow and I swallowed down all the words I could give her. How perfect she was, how beautiful, how kind, how gentle. How she was my everything. How I’d never leave her and would never let her go.

How I wanted to climb through this window and show her how much I loved her by how hard I thrust into her body for hours on end. My perfect Ava. Even her flaws were loveable if not frustrating considering the very things she feared were the very things I were.

I leaned on the car, pushing my head through the window so that I was smiling just a few inches from her face. Her eyes widened and I saw her gaze dart to my lips. Mmm, I liked that.

She didn’t know how much I loved her little reactions. She didn't know a lot.

Love me, Ava.

“It’s true. Who else would have invited me on a cross-country camping trip?” I asked, being flippant. She rolled her eyes and gave a small huffed laugh. It made my smile grow wider, watching her reaction up close, memorizing it.

“Doesn’t sound like a fair trade. You’re perfect and I’m a mess.”

“A beautiful mess,” I said, gazing up at her. She choked on the water she was sipping and I smirked. “Now sleep,” I insisted, pushing away from the car. She nodded, her eyes watering as she coughed.

Our five year break had been the right choice, however difficult it had been. I could see her interest now. She looked at me like a man—not a brother, not a friend. When I flirted she reacted perfectly and I noticed it all—the hardened peaks of her breasts, her dilating eyes, her parting lips, the way her thighs rubbed together in invitation for me.

Her body craved mine and she was fully aware of it. This was the way my mate was supposed to act. It was a relief after all those years she'd considered me a platonic void of brotherly friendship.