The Puck Drop by Jaqueline Snowe

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Michael

In my twenty-four years, I’d done some dumb shit. I once did a beer-bong before a test. I jumped off a roof into a pool. I’d even eaten a large moth for ten bucks. But all of that was small compared to right now. Agreeing to come to Naomi’s place after she had a few drinks hit the top of that list. I needed space and air to escape her tantalizing lemon scent that made me want to rip off that tight tank top and explore her body with my mouth.

She usually wore loose clothing that hid her curves and that chest. Fuck. I ground my teeth together when she lifted her arms over her head, exposing a little bit of her stomach. Naomi was beautiful. Intelligent, funny, and beautiful.

My attraction to her was a collection of things. Like the way she smiled and how she scrunched her nose. It was how goddamn clumsy she was and how she always smelled good. It was how she wanted to fix her family so badly but didn’t know how. It was also the confident way she nerded out about what she liked. I watched as she tripped on her own feet when we left her small kitchen and made our way toward the door.

“Jesus, how have you not broken every bone in your body?”

My tone came out harsher than I meant, but her tripping made me uneasy. Plus, I reached out to steady her. It was the polite thing to do, and I only let my fingers linger for an extra second. Okay, more like ten seconds.

“I’m a graceful faller.”

“No you’re not.”

She took another long drink, and a little spilled down her lip. She stuck out her tongue to lick it at the same time I moved my thumb to wipe it up.

She licked my finger in the process, and my stomach tightened with an aggressive need. “Naomi,” I said, neither one of us moving. My thumb remained on her jaw, caressing her smooth face on its own accord.

She sucked in a breath, and all that mattered was kissing her. Not the sounds of the party going on around us, not the fact her dad held my future in his hands, or the fact we were most definitely wrong for each other. I moved my hand to the back of her head, digging my fingers into her hair, and yanked her toward me.

I’d kissed a lot of women, but not once did my skin tingle with anticipation as I closed the distance. Not once did my heart fucking skip a beat before pressing my lips against someone else’s. Her little intake of breath made me pull her closer. Then, I finally kissed her.

Her lips were soft and full, and she opened her mouth to let me in, and my god, I wanted this woman. I slid my tongue into her mouth, devouring the sweet taste of her. It was all tongue and teeth, and I couldn’t kiss her hard enough.

“Naomi,” I murmured into her mouth, needing her to know how much I fucking loved this.

The way she tasted like vodka. The way my heart raced from her aggressive touches and how nothing made sense any more except kissing her. I sucked her tongue and tilted her head back, deepening the kiss as I trailed my hand down her smooth neck. She moaned, and an aggressive urge rolled through me to kiss her even harder.

She gripped the edge of my windbreaker and kissed me with so much energy I tripped backward. Gravity played tricks on me as I stumbled to catch my balance. I wrapped my arm around her and cradled her against me as I righted myself, and she looked up at me with a goofy grin.

“Damn,” I said, my lips swollen and wet from our kiss.

“My kissing made you trip,” she said, her smug smile doing crazy things to my heart and mind. She wasn’t wrong.

I narrowed my eyes and bent down to kiss her again because that was addictive. But then someone shouted my name from behind. The voice had a familiar ring to it. My arms were still wrapped around Naomi and the sweetness from her drink still in my mouth as I turned and saw Erikson lifting his hand in greeting.

Fuck. Naomi might as well have hit me with a taser. That was how fast I jumped off her and stepped back, regret weighing me down. Did he see us? Me? Her?

What if he told Coach?

“Dude, what are you doing here?” I asked, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, afraid that evidence of the kiss would be right there.

Like, hey yeah, I just made out with the coach’s daughter. How shitty am I?

“For the party, man. You’re cool that I’m here, right?” he asked. He frowned and winced when his gaze landed on Naomi. “Shit. Coach’s daughter. Not the fun one either.”

“I’m oodles of fun, you behemoth! Oodles,” she shouted before marching past me and disappearing into the crowd. If I wasn’t so worried about getting caught, I’d laugh at tipsy Naomi yelling at Erikson.

Erikson raised his brows. “Okay then.”

My jaw tensed, and I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. My brain was still slow since that dynamite kiss, and I thought about his words. Not the fun one? Freddie said something similar at the library, and I didn’t like the insinuation. “Naomi’s cool. she won’t give a shit you’re here. Just don’t act like a dumbass and we’ll be fine.”

“Fair enough.” He nodded and smiled at a group of girls giggling at him. “See ya, Reiner.”

“Yeah, you too.” I waited until he was distracted with the girls before running a hand over my face. The universe had a funny way of telling me to knock it off. Seconds after I got a small taste of Naomi, Erikson showed up. If that wasn’t a sign I shouldn’t be thinking about her like that, I didn’t know what was. My mouth still tingled from her nipping my lip, and I needed to find her. Now.

Shit. I ran a hand through my hair and scanned the crowd. So much plaid and dark colors everywhere. Oasis played in the background, and I only knew that band because my high school coach was obsessed and made us listen to them when we pissed him off. But that didn’t matter. Finding Naomi and talking to her did.

Someone in a tight tank and plaid shirt walked by, but nope, it wasn’t her. Fuck, were all the girls here wearing the same thing? Okay, okay, think. We kissed, and I ditched her the second a hockey guy showed up.

Naomi already had mixed feelings about hockey, so this didn’t help. She was probably embarrassed, or mad, or upset, or any combination thereof, and I needed to fix it. I went from unit to unit, searching for any face I recognized, but they all blurred together. I returned to her apartment, but no one was there. I thought about texting her, but what would I say? Sorry for kissing you and then acting like I wasn’t?

This was why shit got messy when you hooked up with people you saw all the time. Flings were easier. No feelings. No attachments. No wondering if the coach would figure out what you did and kick your ass. I groaned just as I heard a familiar laugh.

My stomach swooped like I was on the downward arch of a rollercoaster, and I scanned the crowd until I found her. She had another drink in her hand, half of it already gone, and she looped her arm around her friend’s waist. A blush painted her cheeks, and she tensed when her gaze landed on me.

I considered myself emotionally intelligent, but I couldn’t pinpoint what was swirling in her brown eyes. Hurt? Lust? My shoulders tensed, and I reached up to massage the part where my neck met my shoulder. It throbbed with tension. Guilt weighed on me more with each step closer to her, the brief yet explosive kiss replaying in my mind on a constant loop. The way she tasted, the warmth of her mouth, her little moan of pleasure when our lips finally touched.

I fisted my hand at my side and forced myself to focus on what was next, already preparing for the conversation to be horrible. How did one exactly apologize for a kiss they enjoyed and planned to never do again? “Naomi, could I speak to you for a moment?” I asked, my voice taking on a real weird formality that made me wince.

I wasn’t a damn waiter asking if she needed a refill of water. I was just the guy who kissed her and ditched her.  She worried the side of her lip before slowly unlooping her arm from her friend’s.

She glanced at the ground and shrugged. “Sure, yeah, okay.”

Sure. Yeah. Okay. Not a great start.  I put a hand on her lower back and guided her toward a cut-out on the balcony. We were alone without being alone. It was secluded enough for this conversation, but public enough that I wouldn’t be tempted to apologize by way of kissing. Again. Even though it wasn’t a terrible idea…

“What is it, Michael?” she asked, her tone missing that N-energy. She gripped the railing with both hands and sighed as she narrowed her eyes. I followed her gaze to the landscape, taking in the bricked buildings and the hint of campus you could see from here.

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling it in every cell of my body. She’d been hurt enough from her dad, sister, hockey, life. She didn’t need me confusing things by kissing her when it couldn't lead anywhere. Not really.

“For what, exactly?”

“All of it.” I swallowed, the movement causing an uncomfortable lump in my throat. Her coldness toward me hurt more than I anticipated. She wouldn’t look at me, and her voice...it was distant. “Naomi, please,” I said, unsure what I was pleading for. Her to forgive me? For her to look at me like she liked me again?

“What?” She faced me, red covering her cheeks and neck. Her eyes narrowed with impatience. She crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side. “I don’t appreciate being kissed then dismissed.”

“I know.” I ran a hand through my hair as all the muscles in my face tightened. “Fuck, I know. I regretted it the second I did it.”

She recoiled like I’d hit her. It took me a second to replay my words, and I reached out to gently touch her shoulder. “No, no. Not kissing you. I don’t regret that one bit. I meant… reacting like that when Erikson said my name.”

She looked at the ground and nodded, avoiding my gaze. “It’s fine,” she said to the floor. I squeezed her shoulder and waited for her to look up. When she finally did, it felt like someone pulled the cement floor from under me.

Sadness. The same kind of sadness I carried around in my soul reflected back at me. I moved my hand from her shoulder to her neck, wishing I could take her pain and keep it as my own. I was better equipped to handle it. But I wasn’t done, and whatever I said next could make her continue looking at me like that. “I don’t regret kissing you, but it shouldn’t happen again.”

“Okay.”

Just okay? No why? No questions? I frowned. “It’s not you, I swear. You’re gorgeous, and any guy would be lucky to have you.”

“It’s alright,” she said, forcing a tight smile. “I swear, I’m not just placating you. I get it. It’s better that we’re not involved anyway.”

“Because of…” I said, really needing her to fill in the missing gaps here because her blatant acceptance threw me off. What did I want? For her to beg? For her to demand an explanation? Why was I being a tool about it?

“Hockey,” she finished. The way she said the word sounded cursed. 

“Right,” I said, somehow needing to fill the awkward silence. It was more than hockey, but none of those reasons came to mind. Instead, I dropped my hand from her and took a step back. “I don’t have a lot of friends here, Naomi, and I want to keep you as one.”

“Yeah, we can remain friends, for sure.” She smiled, but the movement didn’t reach her eyes.

“Okay, cool.” I exhaled, hating the rock in my stomach. It wasn’t pebble-sized either. It was more like a boulder, growing by the second as Naomi pulled away from me.

“I should get back to my friends,” she said, pointing her thumb over her shoulder in the wrong direction. My lips twitched even though the mood was off.

“Right, sure.” I shoved my hands in my pockets and forced a smile as she walked away. But then she stopped, turned around, and frowned so hard lines appeared all over her forehead.

“I invited you here. It’d be rude if I ditched you.”

“Nah, don’t worry. You’re allowed to be rude after what I did.” I sighed. “I’ll probably head out anyway.”

She pressed her lips tight together before saying, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m tired and have a lot of studying tomorrow.” I channeled the same talent I honed after our parents died—the ability to seem unfazed and smile when my insides felt the opposite. “Don’t even worry about it. Have fun. Don’t trip again, or I’ll know.”

“You won’t know.”

“I’ll sense it,” I teased, enjoying how her real smile showed signs of poking through. “Goodnight, Fletcher.”

“Yeah, you too, Reiner.”

I lifted my hand in a wave even though I was five feet from her. When I walked by, I held my breath so as not to take in her citrus scent. I kept up the act as I said goodbye to Freddie and winked at Naomi’s friends. It wasn’t until I was a block away from the apartments that the weight of everything hit me. Pretending to be okay all the time was exhausting, but it kept people from asking questions.

However, tonight it was the fucking worst.

I was alone. Even if I was back home, Ryann had Jonah. I’d be the third wheel of our family. If being friends with Naomi was the only way I got to keep her, then that’s what I’d do. But my heart hurt as I walked toward an empty apartment.

I was back to being by myself, again, and even though it was the right thing to do...it sucked.