Fighting Conviction by Greer Rivers

Chapter Sixteen

Deafening booms jolted Ellie awake, shooting her straight up into a sitting position and clutching her chest. Flailing around for purchase, her eyes widened to try to see as she was sucked down into the pitch-black room. She slapped her hands up and down her chest and legs, afraid of what she’d find.

I am wearing clothes.

I am in soft sheets… not on hard tile.

The last vestiges of hazy panic faded from her sight and she realized light filtered through yellow gauze curtains. Her breath whooshed out in relief.

I am safe. I am in control. I am in my dorm. I am in my bed.

The heavy banging that had jarred Ellie awake hammered at her bedroom door until she realized they were only normal knocks, not earth-shaking explosions.

“Ellie? It’s Virginia.” Knock-knock-knock. “Are you up?”

“Virginia, what the heck?” Ellie called out loud enough to drown her stuttering heartbeat.

“Oh good, you’re up!” The knob on her door rattled. “Why’s your door locked?” A dramatic gasp sounded through the thin doors. “Does your boyfriend seriously think you need to lock your door against me? How fuckin’ rude!”

Ellie rolled her eyes but finally remembered how she’d gotten back to her dorm. She vaguely recalled Dev using her key to the back entrance of her dorm and he must’ve laid her in the bed.

“Ellie?”

“God, what, Virginia? It’s…” Ellie looked at her watch to find it was already eleven a.m. She shook her head and hopped out of the bed to pull her door open during the middle of one of Virginia’s knocks. Ellie ducked, but not before she swatted Virginia’s fist hard enough for it to crash against the doorframe.

“Jesus!” Virginia yelped in pain. “What the hell did you do that for?” Virginia shook her hand and inspected her knuckles before turning back to Ellie with her eyes wide, asking for an explanation. “What, are you some kinda ninja, now?”

A blush heated Ellie’s face, but instead of being ashamed, she stood up straighter. Virginia’s fist had nearly used her own forehead as a door knocker. Dev would’ve been embarrassed if she hadn’t blocked it.

“What do you want Virginia?” Ellie struggled to keep her sigh of annoyance in check. She didn’t have time for her roommate’s nosiness.

Ellie’s phone vibrated on the desk behind her and she turned to check it.

17 missed calls. 10 voicemails. 28 text messages.

Ellie groaned and thumbed through a couple of the messages.

Jason: Ellie wtf happened?

Jason: Call me. Devil said he had to come get you?

Jason: Ellie call me, I MEAN IT.

Jules: Your brother’s about to lose his shit, please call him when you can.

Jason: If you don’t call me in five minutes, I swear to God I’m coming to your dorm.

Dev: Don’t worry about your brother. I’ll take care of him. Get some sleep, angel.

Dev: Leaving for BlackStone now. Call if you need to. PS your couch sucks ass.

Ellie snorted at the last one before tossing her phone to the bed. The final text was from the morning and Jason had stopped texting around three a.m., so she could only assume Dev had sufficiently calmed Jason down. It would have to do for now. She was tired as heck, and arguing with her brother might’ve literally been the last thing on earth she wanted to do. She turned back around to see Virginia was still standing in the doorway.

Nope. Scratch that. Second to last thing on earth.

“What, Virginia? I kind of have a busy day.” It was only sort of a lie. Ellie didn’t have anything on her agenda, but it wasn’t like she didn’t have anything to do. She had a crap ton of studying and she needed to check in at Sasha Saves.

Hurt flitted across Virginia’s furrowed features. “Your boyfriend dropped you off late last night. I wanted to check on you. Make sure you’re okay.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Ellie turned to grab her books from her bag. There was a test the following week she hadn’t studied for yet. With her back turned to Virginia, Ellie safely rolled her eyes. She’d probably have to go to the library for some peace and quiet.

“Well, the hot redhead guy who looks at you like he’d burn the world down if anyone ever hurt you. You know the one?” Ellie turned to see Virginia’s eyebrow perked up as she smirked.

“His name’s Dev… or Devil, depending on who’s asking.”

“Yum-my. Sounds like I wasn’t too off then. How fittin’.”

A laugh burst from Ellie’s chest and Virginia’s smile widened before she spoke. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever gotten you to laugh.”

Ellie’s smile faltered as she climbed up to surround herself with books and sit on her bed.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Virginia entered the room and hopped into Ellie’s desk chair. “You were happy for a second and I made you that way. Let’s go back to that. It was nice.”

“What was? Me laughing at you?”

“Laughing with me.” Virginia scowled. “But I can see the moment’s gone. I’m glad you’re okay or whatever.” Virginia got up from the chair to leave the room and Ellie immediately felt like a jerk. Virginia only ever tried to connect with her and Ellie spurned her away every chance she got.

“Virginia, wait.”

Virginia paused in the doorframe and huffed as she turned slowly, her arms crossed. Ellie wrapped a tendril from her ponytail around her finger and began to twirl. “Something crazy happened last night. Do you, um… do you wanna hear?”

Virginia’s eyes widened and she nodded slowly before taking slow steps closer and putting her hand on the back of Ellie’s seldomly used desk chair.

“Wait, can we, um… can we go to the living room?” Ellie asked.

Virginia narrowed her eyes before nodding. “Sure thing.”

Virginia led the way and as soon as Ellie exited her bedroom, her chest expanded in the open space, breathing in and exhaling the air that was always trapped inside her lungs when she was in her tiny room. Ellie collapsed opposite of Virginia on the couch, still exhausted from the ordeal. When they were settled, Virginia turned off the TV from the news channel she’d been watching. The girl was obsessed with current events.

“Okay, girl, I’m all ears.” Virginia curled up onto their couch, propping her elbow on a cushion and her chin up on her palm.

“Do you remember how I said my friend Sasha and I—” She cleared her throat. “Had a treehouse growing up?”

Ellie recounted being trapped and having to be rescued by Dev, all while Virginia sat in an eerie, raptured silence. By the end of the story, Ellie couldn’t wait for her roommate to talk again.

“Holy shit.” Virginia had moved during the story until her arms were hugging her knees. “That’s insane… so… but like… you’re okay, right? It was terrifyin’ and totally shit-your-pants crazy-dangerous, but… you’re okay?”

Ellie groaned before nodding, slightly embarrassed she’d needed to be rescued again. “Yep. I’m okay. No thanks to me, that’s for sure. I don’t know why the heck I keep getting myself into these crappy situations.”

Virginia tilted her head. “No thanks to you? What the hell does that mean? If it weren’t for you, you’d probably be dead meat being picked apart by a buzzard or somethin’ right now.”

“Um, did you not hear my story? I freakin’ fell asleep in a park and got caught up in a drug deal! I could’ve died if it weren’t for Dev!”

Virginia shook her head and waved her hand at Ellie like her point was total nonsense. “Nah, girl. That ain’t how I see it, anyway.”

Ellie huffed, a little annoyed she was having to convince this bimbo she’d been an idiot the night before.

“Fine, Virginia. How do you see it then.”

Virginia’s face scrunched up like she was trying to figure Ellie out. “You run yourself ragged, you know that? I hardly ever see you ‘round here. It’s like you don’t like being in your own room.”

Ellie felt heat rush to her cheeks at Virginia’s accuracy. That was exactly what it was. Jason had done his darndest to get her into the biggest dorm. He’d convinced the university to make an exception and let Ellie and her BlackStone vetted freshman roommate stay in upperclassman suite-style dorms.

She only ever stayed in her room after waiting until the very last moment to go to sleep, and even then she needed constant background music or trashy TV to drown out her negative thoughts. But despite having more square footage, soft Target bedding, and cute aesthetic—thanks to pre-move-in shopping with Virginia—late at night, none of that mattered. Small was small, dark was dark, and cold was cold. Eventually she’d be reminded of the hotel bathroom she’d been locked inside for days. Her nightmares bled over into the physical realm, and she imagined the only warmth she felt was from the twisted up unconscious bodies around her. The night before was the first night she could remember sleeping soundly without music.

“I don’t really. It feels… small. I don’t… um… I don’t like small spaces… a-anymore.”

Virginia’s face softened with sympathy. “Well, the point of my observation is you’re tired, babe. You’re everywhere for everyone else, and you won’t even let yourself rest where you’re supposed to be safest. Yesterday, you fell asleep after kickin’ ninja ass, bein’ a college student, and savin’ the world with whatever that job is you go to all the time. You messed up. Big fuckin’ deal. Tons of people mess up all the time and nothin’ bad happens to them. Shoot, I should probably be dead ten times over for the stupid decisions I’ve been makin’ at house parties since I got here.”

Ellie chuckled but couldn’t stop her confused frown. “What’s your point?”

Virginia sighed and rolled her eyes. “The point is, you’re a freakin’ freshman in college. If you can’t fuck up now, when the hell can you?” She reached over the couch and patted Ellie’s sock-covered foot. “You’re doin’ good, babe. Real good. You fell asleep in a place you’ve always felt safe. Most people would’ve just been chilly. Unfortunately, your unlucky ass gets to have all the drama. You still handled it way better than I would’ve. Hell, you know what I would’ve done if I’d been up there?”

“What?”

“I’da’ve peed my pants, probably fallen to my death, forgotten I even had my phone… I don’t know. Somethin’ hella stupid, that’s for sure. But nope. Your head was on straight and you kept it together to call for help.” Virginia shook her head. “I know I wouldn’t’ve done that. I’da’ve screamed bloody murder and that guy would’ve shot my ass before I got around to using logic.”

Ellie rubbed her hand against her forehead and chuckled. “Okay, but that doesn’t absolve me of being stupid.”

Virginia lifted a shoulder and continued on. “Eh, maybe not. But don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re allowed to make mistakes and you did a hell of a job savin’ yourself in my opinion.”

“Virginia.” She was now certain the blonde hadn’t been listening. “Dev saved me.”

Virginia shook her head. “He couldn’t’ve done it without you, though. Besides, sometimes savin’ yourself is all about findin’ the right person to do the rescuin’.”

Relaxing against the couch pillows, Ellie pursed her lips. “Huh… I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

Virginia shrugged as if she hadn’t completely changed Ellie’s perspective with one flippant explanation. “All I’m sayin’ is give yourself grace, girl. You ain’t perfect and it’s no fun tryna be, ya know?”

A small smile stretched her lips. “This is nice, you know. Just… I don’t know. Being normal? Talking with my roommate.”

Virginia snorted. “Bless your heart, girl. It’s darlin’ you think bein’ nearly shot to death in a tree thanks to a traitorous nasty-ass sour cream donut is dadgum normal.”

Ellie barked out a laugh at Virginia’s phrasing of Ellie’s traumatic night.

“Traitorous donut? Sour cream is the best damn flavor and no one can convince me otherwise.”

Well, Sasha, she does have a point. It didn’t need to leap to my death.

Remembering she had a real-life, in-person friend in front of her, Ellie stopped talking to Sasha and rolled her eyes at Virginia. “You get what I mean.”

Round cheeks framing a grin beamed back at her. “Yeah, I do. It’s nice havin’ my roomie.”

“I like her, you know. This is good for you, girl.”

Ellie sniffed at the thought and played with a frayed thread in her sock. “My best friend… Sasha. From before…”

“She’s the one…” Virginia’s soft eyes were understanding when Ellie dipped her chin in confirmation. “If you ever wanna talk about her, Ellie, I’m here. I talk a shit ton, but I’ll totally listen.”

Ellie continued her nod and wiped away at the mist threatening her eyes before letting out a chuckle. “You’re just like her, you know? Kind. Driven. You love people. Sasha was like that. She always said yes to everything. I was the scaredy-cat all the time. I never would’ve done anything if it weren’t for her.”

Warm manicured fingers wrapped around hers over her foot and squeezed. “Well,” Virginia cleared her throat. “I think that’s one hell of a compliment.”

Ellie smiled wider and swallowed back her fear, deciding to finally be honest with her. “That’s why it’s been hard for me. To be friends with you. You remind me so much of her. It—” She blew a heavy breath out, imagining all her reservations flowing out with it. “It… h-hurts.”

The hand covering hers squeezed again and Ellie finally looked up to see Virginia’s eyes welling up with tears and sympathy.

Not pity. There’s a difference.

Pity is lonely. People use it as a shield to reassure themselves the problems in someone else’s life would never happen to them. The sufferer must’ve done something to deserve the karmic retribution they received and the pitying person inherently thinks of themselves as better than the pitiful one.

But when someone has sympathy, they’re sharing in the pain, taking any of the burden they can, realizing it could’ve happened to anyone, and believing it definitely shouldn’t have happened to the person suffering.

Pity wounds the ego, but sympathy heals the soul.

Virginia freed a watery sigh and Ellie felt her pain mirrored back to her.

“I’m sorry for everything you went through. I… I wish I knew what to say. But you are loved, you know. Sasha’s gone. But people who love and adore you are still here. I’d love to be friends with you, whenever you’re able. No pressure.”

The last words were rushed out but Ellie hadn’t needed them. She gave Virginia a small smile in return.

“I’m getting there, V. I’m getting there.”