One Hot Secret by Sarah J. Brooks
Chapter 33
Kyle
When we’re shooting a movie, weekends are my favorite time, unlike in the past when I longed to be back on set. And it’s all because of Grace. I fork a piece of French toast and feed it to her. We’re in the kitchen having breakfast after a morning spent making love.
“You have that ‘loved in’ look,” I say with a chuckle.
She smiles. “I’ve never heard of it, but I’ll take it.”
“What do you feel like doing today?” I ask her, even though I’d be quite happy to spend the day ravishing her body.
Before she answers, the front door opens, and heavy footsteps come toward the kitchen. Sebastian walks in minutes later. I’m surprised to see him as we did not have an arrangement to meet.
“Good morning and sorry to barge in on you guys like this,” he says. “I won’t be long.” He pours himself some coffee and sits down. Sebastian never comes without warning, so something must be up. We make small talk, but I’m too wound up with tension to continue.
“What’s going on?” I ask him.
“Can I see you privately?” he says, throwing a discreet glance at Grace.
“I can leave, no problem,” Grace says.
I place a restraining hand on her knee. “No, please stay. It’s okay, Sebastian. You can tell me when she’s here.” I don’t have any secrets from Grace, and I trust her implicitly.
“Okay,” Sebastian says. “Your mother called this morning. Your dad had a stroke, and he’s in the hospital.”
A sudden coldness hits my core. I ask Sebastian all the right questions, is it serious, when did it happen, but inside, I’m conflicted. The one thing I worried would happen has come to pass. Since cutting my parents out of my life all those years ago, I’ve asked myself several times what would happen if one of them got sick. I never came up with an answer, and now I don’t know what to do. I try to imagine my father sick and frail in a hospital bed and fail.
Grace takes my hand and squeezes it.
“He’s at the New Life Hospital. I’ve written down all the details here. If you decide to go, I’ve already informed the hospital.” Sebastian slides a sheet of paper across the island.
“Thank you.”
He leaves shortly after leaving me and Grace alone.
“Are you going to go?” Grace says.
“I don’t know to be honest. It seems hypocritical to go now when we haven’t spoken in years.” That’s not the only reason I don’t want to go. It’s selfish of me, but I don’t want my parents back in my life, and by going to see my father, it will be a signal that I do.
“You won’t forgive yourself if you don’t go and something happens to him,” Grace says. “He’s your father, after all.”
“He never behaved like my father, Grace,” I tell her. It’s difficult for another person to understand the betrayal that you feel when your loved ones treat you like a money-making machine. I know my mother felt guilty whenever a story they had sold to the press about me appeared in the tabloids. She would attempt to pass it off as no big deal, and when it didn’t work, she would apologize and promise it wouldn’t happen again. But my father held no remorse. He would stare at me defiantly, daring me to do something. I don’t want to go back to that way of life. It was toxic, and it affected my work and my general happiness.
I meet Grace’s gaze. “Okay, I’ll go.” I’m only doing it for Grace. My conscience will be clear even if something does happen to my father, but I don’t tell Grace that. She’s a good, loving person, and voicing something like that about my own father would horrify her.
“I can come with you if you like,” she says.
“I’ll be fine. I need to do this one on my own.” I slide off the stool. “So much for a fun Saturday.”
“We’ll have many more weekends,” Grace says.
Upstairs, I text Ethan to get ready for the drive to the hospital. I try to coax Grace into the shower with me, but it’s a firm no.
“You don’t have time to waste,” she says.
“Showering with you is not wasting time,” I mumble as I enter the shower.
Thoughts of my parents fill my brain as I shower. I always felt like an outsider in my own family. Even growing up, I felt different from them. I loved reading while neither of my parents did. My father liked to make fun of my nerdiness, and when I had to switch to home tutoring because of my work, he pushed up the teasing a notch. My mom would glare at him when he went too far. I didn’t understand why he saw my education as a threat until later. I’d become the breadwinner of our household at a young age, and he’d come to see my education as a threat to that income.
It was silly to think that way because I loved acting, and if he knew me at all, he would have known that. I never did establish a good relationship with him, and that saddened me. I’d paid a high price for my career, but now that I had Grace in my life, it didn’t matter. You don’t need a lot of people in your life to feel loved. Just one person who loves you for yourself and not for what you have is enough.
I finish getting ready, and Grace walks me to the door. “Call me if you need me,” she says, creases of worry on her forehead.
“I will.” I kiss her forehead. “Don’t worry; everything will be just fine.”
Outside, Ethan holds the back passenger door open for me, and I enter. He drives us out of the compound and onto the road.
“Sorry about your father,” Ethan says, catching my gaze through the rearview mirror.
I nod. “Thanks.”
“My father had a stroke several three years ago, and now he’s fully recovered. All he had to do was to follow the doctor’s instructions,” Ethan continues. “Your father will pull through too.”
“I’m sure he will.” My father has never listened to anyone’s instructions in his life. But maybe he has changed. Time changes people.
It takes us half an hour to get to the hospital. I pull my cap lower and slip on my sunglasses. Ethan parks the car and talks on his cell phone. We leave the car and head to the entrance. I’ve learned that walking fast usually does the trick, and people rarely recognize you. In the elevator, Ethan presses the button for the seventh floor, which is where the VIP rooms are located. That side of my father has not changed. He would not be caught dead in a normal room. The reception nurses wave us through, and we walk down the wide hallway until we come to his room.
“I’ll be here,” Ethan says, standing guard outside the door.
I push the door open and step in. My mother turns around, and our gazes meet. Her eyes fill up on seeing me. She clasps her hand over her mouth, then she stands and runs to me. I open my arms, and we hug as if it’s not been years since the last time we met.
“You came,” she says, her voice muffled by my shirt.
I kiss the top of her head and almost gag from the strong perfumes coming from her hair. My mother loves everything in doubles doses, whether it be perfume or makeup.
She draws back to stare at me. “You look so different in person.” She strokes my scars, and it dawns on me that she and my father have never seen my new look in person. “You look handsome, though.”
I study her too. The years have not been very kind to her, and she has tons of wrinkles that she did not have before. I guess that is a result of the kind of lifestyle they live. Drinking and partying takes their toll over the years.
“Come and talk to your father. He’s been asking for you.” She takes my hand and leads me to the side of the bed.
My father’s eyes are on me. “I didn’t think you’d come.” He looks frail, but his eyes are bright and alert. His mouth and left eye are drooping a little bit.
“How are you doing?” I ask him.
He shrugs. “I keep telling them that I feel better, but that doctor won’t let me go home just yet.”
My mom shakes her head. “Don’t believe him. He has a long way to go. His left hand and leg are not working very well.”
“They’re fine,” my father mumbles. He looks at me. “You’re really into the cash now, aren’t you? How come you haven’t increased our share? It’s been the same for years, and it’s not quite enough.”
I’m disappointed but not shocked. Even now, years later, when he sees me, my father sees dollar bills. Nothing will ever change, and it was naïve of me to hope that the years had mellowed him.
“Fred!” my mother cries. “Can’t you just be happy that Kyle has come to see you? Does it have to be about money all the time? You had a stroke, for fuck’s sake, and all you can think about is money.”
I’m surprised at my mother’s outburst. I remember her as always bowing to my father’s wishes. I feel proud of her that she can finally voice her thoughts.
“How did it happen?” I ask her, changing the topic.
My mother’s face heats up, and she lets out a girlish giggle. I see where it’s going, but it’s too late to withdraw my question.
“Your father and I were getting intimate when it happened,” she says, her eyes dancing with amusement. “You know how adventurous your—”
“I don’t need the details, Mom,” I tell her.
“The boy doesn’t want to believe that his precious mother has sexual needs,” my father says.
Anger comes over me, and as I look into my father’s eyes, I see the same look of disdain and what looks like hatred. I don’t get it. Why would he hate me? I’ve never disrespected him in any way. I take a step back. “I’m not a boy, Dad, and I do know that my mother has sexual needs, but I’ll let you in on something you might not know. No man is interested in his parents’ sex life and most parents instinctively know this. I’ll talk to you real soon, Mom.” I lean forward to kiss her cheek.
“Will you come back for another visit, son?” she asks me, her voice trembling.
I’m halfway to the door when I turn. I look at my father, and he gives me a lopsided grin. He always enjoyed pissing me off, and it’s sad to see that we’ll never move beyond that.
I shift my gaze to my mother, and my heart goes out to her. She’s not a bad person, but she’s married to a man I don’t understand or even like. Admitting that I don’t like my own father feels like a load off my shoulders.
“I won’t, Mom,” I tell her. “There’s no point to this.”
“But—”
“Let him go,” my father snarls. “He’s never wanted to be around us.”
Maybe he’s right. Whatever the case, I’m a grown man, and I don’t need to keep playing childish power games with my father.