In Death I Live by Lindsay Becs
RIVER
I watchwith a grin on my face as Zora leaves and Cruz chases after her. Shaking my head at them, I turn back and see Dom looking on the verge of losing it. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, he runs his hands through his hair, pulling on the ends. His body is tight with tension, which isn’t surprising given the last couple of days, but he looks more anxious today and that gives me a bad feeling.
“What are you thinking?” I ask him.
He looks up at me, seeming surprised that I’m still here with him. “I have a bad feeling about today that I can’t shake. Riv, if something happens…” He trails off, but I know what he means. If something happens to Zora, none of us will recover from it.
“Yesterday, I thought…” He lets out a frustrated breath. “I thought we had it. I thought it’d be done and we could go back early and everything would be over. And now…” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure if this will ever be over.”
Standing up, I walk to where he’s sitting on the couch opposite where I was. “It will be. It has to be,” I tell him with a hand on his shoulder.
He shakes his head again, and I see his jaw clench. “He won’t stop. Neither of them will stop.”
“So, we make them.”
He turns his head toward me. He looks so vulnerable right now. A look you don’t see on his face often since he doesn’t let anyone past his thick wall of defense easily. “I really hope it’s that simple, man.” He stands abruptly. “I need a drink.”
“I thought you said we all needed to keep our focus today?” I ask with a slight chuckle.
“We do,” he snorts. “But if I’m going to make it through the rest of this day without murdering my old man, I need a shot. Or three.”
I stand too, clapping my hands. “Let’s do this.”
Dom pulls out a bottle of tequila from the cupboard while I grab shot glasses. He fills the two glasses, and we clink them together before hitting them back on the granite countertop and shoot them down.
“The fuck, you guys? You drinking without me?” Cruz asks, walking into the kitchen with us. After he pulls down another shot glass, Dom pours us all another.
We all down the fiery alcohol, and Dom lets out a long breath. “You okay?” I ask him, watching him closely to gage how concerned I should be that he’s looking about ten seconds away from coming completely unhinged.
Raking his teeth over his lip, he then swipes his thumb over the wet flesh. “Just peachy.” He chucks his shot glass into the sink, and it shatters.
“You need to bust a nut? I hear Cruz likes to drink from a hose sometimes,” I joke, earning me a slight lip twitch from Dom and a middle finger from Cruz.
“Fuck you,” Cruz says through a laugh.
“Later, baby,” I tell him with a wink and blow him a kiss that he pretends to catch and throw back, making me laugh harder.
Dom leans back against the counter, his hand gripping the edges as he lets his head fall back. “I fucking hate this shit.”
“Blowjobs from Cruz?” I ask, still trying to lighten his mood.
“No, fucker,” he says through a teeny tiny grin. “Today and what has to happen.” Picking his head up, he looks between Cruz and me. “I know you all think I’m a hard-ass and love the violence and shit, but I don’t. Like you guys, I didn’t choose this. I would never choose this.”
Clapping a hand on his shoulder, I squeeze it. “We just have to make it through today. We can do that.”
“Yeah, okay,” he replies flatly.
“Then we can take our girl home and relax,” Cruz adds.
Crossing two fingers over two from my other hand to make a hashtag, I say in a mock girlie voice, “Hashtag goals.”
“As enlightening as this little chat has been, I need to go make sure everything is good to go,” Domonic deadpans. But then he stops and turns back to us. “I know I don’t say it enough… or ever. But thank you for always having my back. I appreciate you both more than you probably realize.”
“Nuh-uh. We aren’t doing mushing shit like that right now, Domonic Chadwick. Lock that shit up, man,” Cruz bristles, taking the mood in another direction. “We need you to be on target tonight so we can sink Shadows’s battleship. We got this, and we’ve got you. But don’t you fucking dare start saying shit like it’s the end.”
Dom gives a nod and leaves without another word.
“A little harsh, don’t you think?” I ask Cruz once Dom’s out of ear shot.
“He needed the push,” he says unapologetically as he opens the fridge. “I’m going to make something to eat before everything starts going down. You want something?”
“I’ll take a sandwich, if you don’t mind. I have to check in with the checkpoint crew since Grey is out and make sure there isn’t any new chatter we need to be concerned about.”
“You really think Shadows will try to come back again today?” he asks, slathering a piece of bread with some mayo and squirting mustard on top to look like a dick. Fucker.
Sliding past him, I reach into the fridge to pull out a couple bottles of water. “I wouldn’t put anything past him at this point.”
Cruz sighs deeply, cutting my turkey and Swiss sandwich in half in triangles and placing them on a plate. “How do you seem so calm today?” he asks, sliding the plate toward me.
I shrug a shoulder as I sink my teeth into the sandwich he just made for me. “I only look calm on the outside because on the inside I’m freaking the fuck out.”
He snorts a laugh as he makes a sandwich for himself. The same as mine except his mustard looks like a heart with an arrow through it instead of a dick and he adds pickles. “Part of me wants him to show up so we can take him out and be done with it. Then the other part of me is hoping he doesn’t since we’re already down a man and worried about Zo.” He takes a bite, and we both eat in silence for a minute. “It’s days like today I really wish I had been born in a different family.”
“Preach,” I say, shoving the last of my sandwich into my mouth. I drop my plate in the sink, and when I turn around to get to work, I stop to stare at Cruz’s back for a second. Walking up behind him, I wrap my arms around his waist and lean my cheek on his shoulder. “We’ll be okay. All of us. We have to be,” I say quietly before kissing his cheek. He doesn’t say anything in return as I give him one last squeeze and leave him.
* * *
Afternoon turns to evening,and soon, those who didn’t camp out in the woods have started to arrive. Some were here last night, and some are new. Saturday night, the second night of the bonfire, is always full of more people than the first. It’s also rowdier and wilder too. Not a great combo, all things considered, but what are we going to do?
I’ve checked in with everyone, and so far, everything seems to be going well. Although, it’s no secret that this isn’t in the area where I work on the regular. I keep getting this feeling that I’m missing something no matter how many times I go over everything.
I don’t want to bother or worry Grey and Zo, but I have to make sure. Running up the stairs, taking two at a time, I hurry to check-in.
Both of their heads turn in my direction, eyes wide, when I unlock the door and come inside, out of breath from running here. Holding up a hand, I tell them that everything is fine, that I’m just checking in and don’t have a lot of time.
I hand Greyson my cell and the tablet he usually uses to keep track of everyone. He clicks through both, scanning, flipping, and reading through everything, his brows bunched in concentration as he does. I stand, shifting from foot to foot as I wait.
“What am I missing?” I ask after a minute too long of him not saying anything, feeling like I’m going to crawl out of my skin.
He licks his lips and then peers up at me. “Nothing. As far as I can see, it all looks good.”
I blow out a relieved breath. “Are you sure?”
“Riv, relax,” he says with an easy smile. “All the points of entry are covered. You have open communication with everyone at the checkpoints and around the perimeter. You have guys surveying the area and around the cabin and bonfire, plus Swan has his lackeys doing his bidding too. We’re okay, man.”
He holds out my phone and the tablet for me to take but winces from the movement. Zora takes it from him to hand to me, giving him a scowl as she does. I dip down to kiss her, needing to feel her lips on mine before clusterfuck part two begins. “Thanks, angel.”
She puts a hand on my cheek, and I sink into her touch. “Grey’s right. Everything is fine. We’re good here. You boys be careful, but don’t stress. Before you know it, we can all go back to the compound and be done with this supposed fun weekend.”
I kiss her one last time and give Greyson a look, making sure he isn’t bullshitting me, but his eye-roll is enough to put me at ease. I leave them to finish their movie and jog back downstairs to find Domonic.
I find him outside talking to one of the guys who’s supposed to be checking people as they drive in, and my hackles rise that he’s not at his post. “What’s going on?” I ask, walking up to them.
“Suspicious plate,” Dom mutters, looking down at another tablet. “What was the make and model of the car Shadows rolled up in yesterday?” I quickly pull it up on the tablet in my hands and tell him, showing him the tablet to compare. “Fuck!” he yells with a growl. “Same car, different plates.” His eyes meet mine and fear flashes between us for a second before we both push it down to do what we know needs to be done.