In Death I Live by Lindsay Becs

ZORA

When I wokeup this morning, a slow, sleeping grin spread across my face before I even opened my eyes. My body was sore but in the best, most delicious way. This time because of a night of pleasure instead of a night of pain—and I’m not talking about the good kind of pain.

“Did you sleep better, angel?” River’s smooth voice asks. I feel his soft lips press to my shoulder blade while his finger trails up and down my spine. Humming my response to him, I lie still, reveling in how good his touch feels. “We’re going to have breakfast with the boys today. It’s time you got to know them more. And they are salivating to get their hands on you.”

I know I should question what he means by that last sentence, but I don’t. Instead, I agree because I am intrigued by this group of friends, this house that seems larger than life and all the secrets that seem to swim in the air.

After smacking my ass, River gets up, pulling on a pair of gym shorts and going into the bathroom to get ready for the day. I’m pulling on a clean shirt—one of his since I don’t have anything of my own yet—when he throws a phone down on the bed in front of me.

“What’s this?” I ask, looking up at him confused.

Crossing his arms, he leans against the door jamb of the bathroom. “Don’t tell me you’ve never seen a cell phone before.” He smirks, teasing me.

“I know it’s a phone.” I roll my eyes. “Why are you throwing it at me?”

“It’s yours. I already put mine and the boys’ numbers in it,” he tells me, pushing off the wall to get to me. Turning it on, he shows me the four numbers that are there. I shouldn’t, but I feel nervous about him giving me a phone to use.

“It’s mine?”

He laughs, “Why do you seem so surprised?”

Shaking my head, I laugh too. “Guess I’m just not used to people giving me things without wanting something in return.” Looking up at him, I think about that. “Or was that what last night was about?”

“Last night was the first of many, many times.” His hands land on my shoulders. “But that’s not why I’m giving you a phone today.” He goes on. “I want to be able to reach you if I’m not here.” He stares at me a moment. “And I never asked if you had anyone looking for you or you needed to contact someone to let them know you were okay.”

I swallow over the nerves that are back as his tone and demeanor shift. “No. It’s just me,” I lie.

He stares at me a little longer, tilting his head like he does when he’s appraising something. “Not anymore, angel.” He grins at me, and without him saying anything more, I know there’s so much behind that simple statement. “Let’s go eat.”

Taking my hand in his, he guides me behind him like he did the only other time I left his “wing”, as he calls it. I haven’t seen the other guys since that day—well, except for the day Cruz snuck in to eat lunch with me—and I haven’t really been out of his sight either. Up until now, it made me feel protected and safe, but now I’m questioning that.

We walk through the large living room where he took me before, stopping at the other end of it where it opens up to an open-concept kitchen and dining room. Everything in this place is huge. High ceilings, open and airy. It reminds me more of a fancy hotel or resort than a house. But then again, I’ve never lived in anything more than a trailer or a small house filled with more kids than space to sleep. This is a whole other level.

The other surprise is seeing Cruz cooking at the stove. He has on tight sweatpants and a ripped tee to make it sleeveless, showcasing several tattoos. The smell of salty breakfast meats mixed with coffee and the sweetness of waffles fills my senses, making my mouth water.

Cruz turns his head when he sees us. “Morning, angel.” He smirks, making a point to say the nickname River has given me.

“Zora,” I offer—for the third time now—tucking my hair behind my ear, feeling shy.

“Zora,” he repeats with a wink, letting me know our secret is safe. Seeing him again, I’m reminded that all of these boys are gorgeous. And all of them are currently in this room, staring at me.

I scan over them, taking in their morning appearances. All of them have similar haircuts, longer on top and close trimmed-in sides. Some longer than others but all close to the same; messy from sleep and sexy as fuck.

Greyson is wearing gym shorts and a T-shirt that both seem to match his pretty-boy looks while he sips coffee from a stool. From his position, he was probably talking with Cruz while he cooked.

Domonic is also in sweatpants but his are baggier, sitting low on his hips, showing off the perfect V that dips down into the waistband. He’s not wearing a shirt, giving the perfect view of his chiseled chest, covered in ink, while he leans against the wall looking at his phone.

Behind me, River didn’t bother with a shirt either. He’s skinnier than Domonic and isn’t as ripped, but he’s still sculped and sexy with a runner or swimmer type of muscular body.

Greyson has turned to look at me with a smile of his own. “Coffee?” he asks with the lift of a brow like it’s a test I need to pass.

Dipping my head, I smile. “Yeah. That’d be great.” River slaps me on the ass to get me to move when Greyson walks to get a mug down for me. Turning to shoot River a look, he just smiles with a wink. Scrunching up my face through a smile, I shake my head at him, making him chuckle.

“It smells delicious,” I tell Cruz when I come up beside him to spoon sugar into the cup of coffee Greyson poured for me.

“Thanks, baby girl.” He smiles. “We try to always have breakfast together, but someone’s been occupying our boy for a while.”

My eyes go wide. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” I tell him, feeling bad for disrupting their usual routines together.

Chuckling, he says, “It’s all good, Zora.” Pulling a freshly made waffle from the maker, he puts it on a plate before handing it to me. “Bacon or sausage?”

“Both?” I ask. He places a couple sausage links on my plate, then grabs a few strips of crispy bacon. “Thanks.” He nods his head, finishing his task of making breakfast for everyone else.

As the morning unfolds, it’s easy to see how close they all are. I sit mostly silent while we all eat, listening to them talk and joke around.

“You ready to get out of this joker’s clothes yet?” Greyson asks me, nudging my shoulder. I give him a look, letting him know I’m not exactly sure what he means by that. Tilting his head back, he lets out a throaty laugh. “Shit, I’m going to love having you around. I meant, to go buy you your own clothes. But good to know how you think.”

Chuckling at my assumption and feeling slightly embarrassed, I hide my face in my shoulder. “That would be nice.”

Wrapping an arm around me, Greyson pulls me into his side. “I got you, Zo,” he says, kissing me on the head. The exchange feels strange but not unwanted. Looking to River, who’s on my other side, he smiles, giving me another wink, making me feel better.

“Alright,” Greyson starts, standing up and walking his plate to the sink. “I’m going to get ready and then we’ll go. Good?” he asks me.

I nod. “Yeah. This is all I’ve got, so I’m ready,” I say, making all the guys laugh. When he leaves the kitchen, I turn to River. “Are you going to change too?”

“I don’t shop. That’s all Grey.” Gripping my chin, he tilts my head up to look at him. “He’ll take care of you while you’re out. Take your phone and text or call if he’s being an ass.” Leaning down, he presses his brow to mine. “You’ll be okay, I promise.” I nod in agreement, but I still feel nervous.

When Greyson comes back, changed into jeans, a Henley, boots on his feet and a fancy looking jacket, I feel greatly underdressed. He tosses me a hoodie, shooting a smirk behind me to River, making me bite back a grin.

After sliding on the hoodie, I stand, but River pulls me back down, crashing his mouth to mine for a searing kiss that leaves me breathless when he pulls away after Domonic smacks him on the head. “Have fun.” River smiles while giving Domonic the finger.

I go to stand and then realize I don’t have shoes. I look down to my bare feet and then to Greyson. “No worries.” He shrugs, walking to me and crouching down in front of me with his back to me. “Hop on, Zo.” I stare for a second before I do just that. I giggle when he stands up. Gripping around his neck and tightening my legs around his waist, I can’t help it.

Cruz is laughing hysterically, and when I look to River and see the murder face he’s wearing, I can’t help but laugh harder. “What, Riv? I’m having fun.” I beam at him as Greyson takes off running toward the stairs.

“I’m going to kill that fucker,” I hear River say as Greyson starts down the stairs.

“You are going to get an ass-kicking when we get back,” I tell Greyson when we stop at a car. He opens the door and swings me around to set me inside in one fluid motion.

Smirking down at me, he says, “Nah, he’s got to remember how things work around here.”

“What’s that mean?”

“That we share,” he says, wagging his brows at me before closing the door. Once he’s in the driver’s seat, we take off out of the garage and I think about his meaning of “share” the entire time.

* * *

“I can’t takeany more shopping,” I groan when Greyson pulls up outside another store.

It’s almost five, and I’m exhausted. I always thought that being able to go on a shopping spree to buy whatever you wanted would be fun. I was wrong.

When we left, we stopped at a shoe store first, where he carried me in piggyback. When the clerk started yelling at him, he flipped her off, threw a hundred-dollar bill at her and walked us back to a bench where he set me down.

I sat there staring at him while he brought me dozens of shoes to try on. I tried to fight him on buying me more than a single pair of sneakers, but he wouldn’t let up. We left with ten pairs, and it was a fight for that to be enough to him.

I didn’t ask questions the rest of the day about where the money comes from or if he and the boys work or are in school. Truthfully, I don’t even know how old they all are. I guess I’ll ask those tomorrow, once he’s finished buying me enough clothes to cover the entire world. Aside from one pair of shoes, he paid extra to have everything delivered.

I can’t deny that I have had a good time with him today though. He’s a jokester and lots of fun. He’s hilarious actually, and with his attitude of not caring what anyone thinks, he does some of the stupidest shit. Like when I came out of the dressing room to find him wearing the same dress as me. How can you not laugh at that?

“We can be done if you want. I just thought you’d want underwear. But, hey, I’m all for you going commando,” he says with a smirk, knowing he’s got me.

With a huff, I reach for the door handle. “Fine. But after this, I’m done.”

“Deal. Let’s get you some sexy lacy things.”

Ignoring his remark, I walk into the lingerie shop. He’s, of course, very invested in my choices here more than he was in the other stores. “What about this, angel?” he asks, saying my name in the same way Cruz did earlier this morning.

I put my hand on my hip, giving him a look that I’m not impressed as I take in the piece of lingerie that has detachable wings. “No. And stop making fun of the way River calls me angel. I like it,” I say softly, not looking up to him.

“We’re not making fun of you, Zo,” he says, closing the distance between us. Crooking a finger under my chin, he tips my head up to look at him. “River has just gotten rather attached to you. And we don’t—we can’t do that. But it’s cute how he is with you. Just motherfucking adorable really.”

I shove his shoulder. “Don’t be an ass.” Lost in my thoughts for a second, I look back down. “I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but none of them ever made me feel… good. But when he calls me angel, it’s like my heart radiates heat through my whole body, warming me and making me feel safe. Comfortable. Protected.”

“Zo, I didn’t mean—”

“I know. Just… don’t make fun of it, okay?”

He pulls me into him and hugs me tight against him. Cupping my face, he makes me look up at him again. “You are safe and protected and should feel comfortable. Not just with River but with all of us. I know we’re all new to you still, but I promise we’d all do anything to keep you that way.” Then, before I can think, his lips press to mine. He starts to pull away, making it soft and quick, but I grip the back of his neck, keeping him there.

He doesn’t try to pretend to hold back. He kisses me harder, opening me up to push his tongue inside. I moan when mine feels and tastes his. He sucks my lips into his mouth, hard enough to bruise, and I feel desire pool between my legs. We kiss in the middle of a lingerie store, and when we pull apart, I see a look in his eyes I can’t read.

“I should probably pick out what to get,” I say, feeling nervous after kissing him. And liking it.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice cracking and his brows pinching as he swipes his thumb across my lip.

I quickly pick out a bunch of panties and bras in varying colors and degrees of sexiness. I decide to take these bags with us since it’s our last stop. He pays and helps me carry the bags to the car.

Once we’re both inside, I turn to him. “Please don’t make me feel weird about kissing you,” I plead.

Turning to look at me, his face softens. “No, I’m sorry. I just… You’re different.”

“Is that a good thing?”

His eyes drop to his hands in his lap. “I hope so.” Then, he looks back up to me, meeting my eyes, locking them with his. “Because otherwise, you’re going to destroy us.”

Not offering any more, he turns on the car and we drive in silence back to the compound. There’s an awkward air of questions swirling between us, much like when we left this morning.

We walk in quietly and are greeted by the other boys at the door. “Was there anything you didn’t buy?” Cruz asks Greyson, gesturing to all the boxes and bags inside the house. “And fair warning, I’d stay clear of Ms. Mel for a little bit. She seemed stabby after the first five deliveries,” he adds with a snicker.

I look back to Greyson. “Thank you for today. I had a lot of fun.”

“Anytime, Zo.” He smiles.

“You okay, angel?” River asks.

“I’m so fucking tired,” I pout, making him chuckle. “And kinda hungry?” I add nervously.

“Zora,” Domonic calls to me. Turning to look at him, he asks, “You like steak?”

“Yes.”

“I’m grilling some now. Go clean up and then we’ll all eat before you turn in. Good?”

Smiling at him, I say, “Sounds perfect.” I swear I see a smile pull on his lips. I haven’t been around Domonic much yet, but I know that is probably a rare sighting.

Maybe being here won’t be such a bad thing after all.