Cheap Shot by Brittney Mulliner
Haley
I staredat my laptop screen, debating how pathetic I really was. The search engine stared back at me, how to make friends in college typed into the bar, waiting for me to hit enter. This was humiliating. I shouldn’t have to ask the internet for advice on how to do something three-year-olds seemed to have a handle on.
Plus, I could already guess the answers. Join a club, go to school events, talk to people in class. Not hide in your dorm. That was probably the key. How could I meet anyone if I didn’t leave? I should be doing homework in the library or common area downstairs rather than in my room. It was just so much easier to focus when I was alone.
That wasn’t the point. I couldn’t complain about not having friends when I wasn’t doing anything to fix the situation. I needed to put myself out there. Be approachable, at the very least. It wasn’t like my new best friend was going to knock and introduce themself.
I thought for only a day or two that Emery and I might become friends, but after leaving notes each time we missed each other almost I gave up.
We caught each other in person just long enough for her to tell me she and Tara decided to try living together. She was going to keep her dorm in case things didn’t work out, but I hadn’t seen or heard from her since. I couldn’t blame her. She had a life before I got here and was moving on with it.
My next hope was some of the girls on my floor. Some of them left their doors open when they were inside. I hadn’t because it could get loud and be distracting, but I was almost done with all my assignments due this week. I could afford to let my focus slip a bit, so I got up and opened my door then returned to my desk.
That wasn’t necessarily going to help much since my desk faced the window. People passing by would ignore me if all they saw was my back. If I wanted this to work, I had to meet them halfway. Well, less than halfway. I was really relying on others to do most of the work. I stood and turned my chair so I could rest my feet on my bed and mostly face the hall.
There. I closed out of the search window. I solved that problem myself, for the day. If I didn’t have any luck, I could try something different tomorrow.
Forty minutes passed without a single person walking down the hall. It was early evening, so most of my neighbors would be studying or at work.
This was like the time my dad took me fishing when I was little. We sat on a boat in complete silence for nearly eight hours, waiting for the fish to bite. It was the most bored I’d ever been in my life, and we never ended up catching anything.
Hopefully, this would yield better results.
At least I finished all my homework, so it wasn’t a complete waste of time.
I stood and stretched then peeked into the hall to see if anyone was around, but no one was out, so I headed down to the bathrooms, casually looking for any other open doors. There was only one, but the room was empty.
This was a dud. I kept mine open but collapsed on my bed face first. College wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be so busy I didn’t go to bed until dawn. I should be having pizza nights and binging shows with random people. Where were all the crazy adventures and memories to last a lifetime?
Last year started out like that. I was in my dorm long enough to catch a few hours of sleep if I was lucky. There was always something going on, and I managed to be included in all of it. I clicked with my roommate, Sophie, immediately, and together we introduced ourselves to the hall, then the entire building, growing our friend group as we went.
That was how I met Adam.
It took me less than a week on campus to spot him on the practice field playing touch football with a group of guys. Sophie marched up to them and asked if we could join. That night, Adam asked me on a date, and the rest was history. An exciting whirlwind of the high of first love and independence.
I was so head over heels for him that I thought he was the one. I pictured us being college sweethearts, and we discussed getting married as soon as we graduated. He was everything I could have ever dreamed of. Smart, driven, charming, and so ridiculously good-looking. He often caught me staring, mesmerized that someone as handsome as him could be attracted to me.
Part of me wondered if I would still feel like that. If things had been different. If that night never happened.
I sat up and pushed away those thoughts. No good could come from them.
Was I desperate enough to call my brother? He was popular and probably knew about events and parties going on each night. I didn’t necessarily need to go with him, but if I knew where people were going to be, then I could go on my own. No. He would ask me who I was going with, and I was a terrible liar. He’d insist on coming with me, then we’d get mobbed by his fan club. Annoyance bubbled in me just thinking about it.
I could ask Reid. He was just as likely to know and wouldn’t demand I had a babysitter.
My phone sat on my desk, daring me to do it.
This is the kind of thing a friend asked about. Hey, what’s going on tonight? Hear of anything going on? Where do friendless losers find equally lost souls?
Okay, maybe not the last one. Isolation was having a negative impact on my already shaky mental health.
Before I lost the nerve, I reached over, snatched my phone, and typed out a message.
Haley: Hey Reid
I stared at the screen, second-guessing my word choice. I didn’t ask a question or give him any reason to reply. Before I could type out anything else, his reply appeared.
Reid: Hi Haley. How are you?
Was he asking to see if I was still close to having a mental breakdown? The answer was yes, but for different reasons. Today was a new day with new worries and things to stress over.
Haley: Honestly? I’m bored.
Haley: I don’t know how to make friends
Reid: I’m not sure I’m the best person to help with that. I haven’t had to try since Mini Mite.
A teeny tiny version of him popped into my head, and I couldn’t help but smile. I had a feeling he was an adorable child.
Haley: Lucky you. Us regular folk don’t have that luxury
Reid: What about your roommate?
Haley: She invited me to that party. Haven’t really seen her since.
That party. Flashes of our kiss went through my mind, and I smiled to myself. Was he thinking about it too? That was the best first kiss I’d ever had, and knowing it wouldn’t happen again was too depressing to think about.
I never told Emery why I’d left early, and she’d never asked. Should I take that personally? She did promise me she wouldn’t leave me alone, then abandoned me the first chance she got, and now was apparently avoiding me. I thought we got along fine, but maybe I misread the situation.
Reid: No luck with people in your dorm?
I looked up to my open door and snapped a picture before sending it to him.
Haley: I’ve had this open for at least an hour and no luck. I’m out of ideas. I’ve literally tried everything.
I smiled at my phone hoping he picked up on my sarcasm.
Reid: Whoa. Desperate times
I giggled. He understood.
Reid: Do you want to come over?
Haley: Is Ethan there?
Reid: Yeah, and a few guys from the team.
Haley: I’m not that desperate
I hesitated. I didn’t want him to think I meant that about him.
Haley: Yet
Reid: Good call. I’m not positive they all showered after practice. Our room smells like moldy cups.
I cringed and started telling him that they need to clean more often before his true meaning clicked. Ew. Jockstrap cups.
Haley: That’s disgusting. Now I’m never coming over.
Reid: It’s not normally like this. You’ve seen our room. We’re clean.
I only saw it for a split second. That was a strange, overwhelming interaction. I hadn’t expected any of what happened. It was a weird realization. He wasn’t Reid when I went to their room. He was Ethan’s best friend. Then I recognized him as the guy I kissed and wanted to run away. I’d been too stunned to really pay attention to their room.
A bubble with three dots appeared as he wrote another response.
Reid: If you want to get out, I can leave
Did I want that? My heart screamed yes, but my brain reminded me it was a bad idea. It went against everything I said about coming here. I didn’t want to get involved with Ethan’s group. I wanted to stand on my own. Even though I technically met Reid outside of their hockey world, I couldn’t ignore the fact that he was very much involved.
But after yesterday afternoon, things felt different. Reid saw me as more than just his friend’s little sister. Didn’t he?
Our conversation felt genuine. He opened up to me about personal things. It wasn’t just safe topics like Ethan or the team. Was there a chance of us having a friendship without my brother knowing or including himself?
No. As much as I wanted to lie to myself, I knew Reid and hockey were too intertwined. Asking him to keep from mentioning it around me wasn’t fair. Plus, friends supported each other, but I wouldn’t go to his games or any other hockey events. If I couldn’t accept all of him, how could I ever ask him to do that for me?
There was another major problem with us being friends. Friends weren’t supposed to know how it felt to kiss each other. And our kiss wasn’t something I could forget. It killed me to accept, but that perfect, liberating, out-of-body experience couldn’t happen again.
It was better to let whatever there was between us die out now. No more hanging out alone or confiding in each other. I had to keep him at a distance. Only be around him with Ethan or their teammates around.
Haley: No, that’s okay.
Voices from the hall filtered in. Excited girls talked louder than necessary. I dropped my phone and leaned forward.
“It’s going to be great. I’ve heard they have the best parties,” one girl said.
“You say that every time,” another pointed out.
“Yeah, but this time I heard it from a junior. He said they only have them once every other month, so when they do happen, they’re huge,” the first girl argued.
A group of four or five people walked by. One of them glanced in and offered me a smile as she passed. I smiled back and slid off my bed.
“Whatever. It’s not like anything else is happening tonight,” a third voice complained.
“Let’s get ready and head over in an hour. That should be late enough,” another replied.
I checked my phone. It was already eight? Where had the afternoon gone? Between homework and staring into space I managed to waste several hours.
“Fine, meet out here when you’re ready.”
I heard a door shut so I hurried out, gathering courage with each step. Three of the girls remained in the hall.
“Hey.” I leaned against the doorframe. “I couldn’t help but overhear—”
“Sorry, we shouldn’t have been so loud,” one of the girls closest to me said with an apologetic smile. I recognized two of them from passing them in the hall, but didn’t know their names or even what rooms were theirs.
“No, it’s fine,” I rushed out. “I was just wondering if I could go to the party with you guys.”
A blond in the back smiled. “Yeah, of course.”
“Thanks.” I relaxed a bit. “I haven’t had a chance to meet many people yet, and if I spend one more night in my room, I might lose my mind.”
“Oh my gosh,” the girl that had said sorry started. “I totally know how you feel. My roommate last year was such a dud. It wasn’t until I met these girls that I started having fun.”
“The party is down on frat row, and we’re going to leave in an hour. Sound good?” the third girl, a slim brunette, asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”
They waved and dispersed into their rooms. I went back inside and flung myself on my bed, causing the frame to slide against the floor and a horrible screech to fill the space. I cringed and listened for any laughter or complaints, but it didn’t seem that anyone else heard.
Now I had legitimate plans to tell Reid.
Haley: I met some girls in my hall. Going to a party with them
Reid: What party?
Haley: I’m not sure. They said Frat Row
Reid: Be careful. Some of those can get out of hand
Haley: I will
Reid: Especially AGN
I didn’t know what that meant but agreed anyway. I was too excited about having plans to worry. There were enough of us going together to watch out for each other.
Right?