Dirty Sexy Daddy by S.E. Law
10
James
I feel like total shit. I keep replaying all the awful things I said to Simona last night, and guilt gnaws at my gut until I’m physically nauseous. I was such a fucking asshole yesterday. Who does that? Am I really so petty that I’d ruin a one-year-old’s playdate by whining about her parents? I thought I had changed, but obviously not.
My coffee’s going cold as I stare sightlessly at my computer monitor. Then, letting out an angry growl, I get up and stalk to my brother’s office.
“James,” Luke says mildly as I enter. “You look like hell.”
“I feel like it too,” I rasp.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you sick? You were pretty off yesterday during the picnic.”
I close my eyes briefly because his concern makes me feel even worse about the way I behaved. “No, nothing like that. I was just being an asshole to everyone. I want to apologize to you and Patty for that.”
His eyebrows raise, and he shrugs. “Apology accepted, little brother, but it’s no skin off my nose. You were behaving oddly but it wasn’t like you were a complete and fucking idiot or anything. Why, what’s up?”
I sigh before dropping like a bag of bricks into the chair in front of his desk.
“I said the most unforgivable things to Simona.”
My brother’s brows raise.
“Like …?”
I sigh heavily.
“It doesn’t matter,” is my resigned sentence. “I fucking suck and I deserve what’s coming to me.”
My brother thinks for a moment.
“Well, if it’s that bad, then I’d try to get in front of it. No sense in waiting for the storm to land.”
I squint a bit.
“You think?”
“Hell yeah,” Luke says, leaning back in his chair. “Trust me, I’ve been married for a while now. It’s better to nip things in the bud before your woman loses her head and starts screaming.”
Resolved, I get up.
“Fuck,” is all I bite out before striding to the door.
“Good luck!” my brother calls after me.
With that, I hurry out of the office. Goddamn, what if Simona hates me and decides to leave? I was surly and rude, when inside, I didn’t even really mean the things I said. But that’s the thing - Simona doesn’t know that, and she was probably wounded to the quick. Fuck my life. Hurrying home, I pause only to buy chrysanthemums, chocolate, and a bottle of merlot. Hopefully, she’ll soften a bit when I arrive bearing gifts.
“Simona?” I call into the penthouse. “I got out early!”
But the space is completely silent when I step inside. What the hell? Something’s wrong and my home shouldn’t feel this empty. My voice echoes again in the cavernous space as the blood in my veins goes icy. I throw the flowers and chocolate onto the couch and literally run from room to room like a desperate child. But only silence greets me, and stunned, I drop on the sofa, boneless and in shock.
I’m a fucking idiot. I am a complete, fucking idiot. How could I have said all of those awful things? The look in the pretty brunette’s eyes almost killed me when she heard, and I’d do anything to take them back now. She probably wants a family with a dozen kids, just like my brother and his wife, and my heart twists with pain.
Then I jump up and fumble around for my phone. I swear, City Girls gave me her home address way back when I first hired her. Here it is. I stare, mentally assessing the address. It’s in Hell’s Kitchen, which isn’t exactly a nice neighborhood, but fuck that. Within minutes, I’m in an Uber on my way to confront the girl of my dreams.
Her apartment building leaves a lot to be desired, but I manage to follow another resident inside and dash up to the fifth floor. I raise my fist to pound on the wood, but then stop myself. This is no way to confront Simona. She’d just think I was crazy, and she wouldn’t be wrong.
Slowly, I force my hand down and take a step back before breathing in and out deeply. I need to come off as calm and rational, not to mention remorseful. Once I have my emotions under control, only then do I knock.
Seconds tick by as I wait for the door to open. Eventually, the wood creaks, and then suddenly, she appears. Simona looks gorgeous with her curvy figure and curly brown hair, even if she also looks tired and pale in a thin robe.
“James?” she asks in a tinny voice, her eyes puzzled. “What are you doing here?”
I wince. “I wanted to see you,” is my lame reply.
She looks down for a moment, but then sighs.
“Fine. Come in,” she says in a short tone, opening the door wide enough for me to enter. Her studio apartment is laughably cramped, but I don’t care about that. All I care about is making amends with this beautiful girl whom I hurt needlessly. She means the world to me, and yet like a jackass, I went and completely screwed it up for no reason.
We sit at a miniature dining room as Simona prepares a kettle of tea. When it’s on the stove, she turns to me.
“So why did you come here?” she asks with no preamble. “As you can see, I left the penthouse with no intention of coming back. I left all the clothes and jewelry you purchased, and of course, I don’t expect to be paid anymore.”
I take a deep breath.
“Listen—”
But she shakes her head.
“No, you don’t need to explain, James. We had an arrangement set up by the agency, and I’ve decided to terminate the relationship. You’ve paid me more than enough for my time, and if anything, I’ve been over-compensated. So thank you for that,” she says simply. “But we’re done.”
Her features are pale, but she speaks with such authority that my heart breaks.
“Simona,” I begin again. “Let me explain for just one second.”
She turns to the stove once more, showing me her back.
“You don’t have to James,” she says. “No explanation needed.”
I huff out with displeasure.
“No, you’re going to listen,” I say in a tight voice as she turns back around and sets a teacup in front of me. “Sweetheart, I behaved atrociously last night.”
The small disinterested shrug she gives almost kills me.
“No, it’s fine. What we had? It was just business. We’re only together because I’m an escort, remember? So really, James. I mean it when I say no explanation needed.”
“That’s not it,” comes my growl, and I shake my head with frustration. “Simona, you were never just a transaction for me. Not even in the beginning.”
Her pupils dilate a bit, even though she remains perfectly still.
“It’s true,” I continue fiercely. “I would never have introduced you to my family if I wasn’t serious about you.” I reach across the table for her hand, but she somehow manages to avoid my touch. It’s going to be like that, huh? I run a hand through my hair and take a few deep breaths, trying to gather my wits. I feel like I’m in the ninth inning of the World Series, my heart’s racing so fast.
“Simona,” I begin with a sigh. “I saw how amazing you were with my niece Pixie yesterday. I saw how you talked with eagerness and excitement about pregnancy and motherhood with Patty, and my heart broke because that’s something I can never give you.”
The beautiful woman remains stock still, her complexion utterly white.
“I’m sorry?” she asks.
I shake my head sorrowfully, looking at the table.
“You know I was traveling abroad for the past year, right? And how I wasn’t exactly celibate? Well, while I was doing my thing, things got out of hand and I contracted chlamydia. I have no idea how I got it, or whom I got it from. Hell, I have no idea even which continent I was on when I got it.”
She gasps, horror filling her features.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Simona asks quickly. “Were you able to get treatment while abroad?”
I nod.
“Yes. A well-timed trip to the doctor got me the medication I needed, and I was pretty much cured. But the thing is,” I swallow heavily, “they didn’t catch it early enough, and as result, I’m infertile, Simona. That’s what killed me so much about yesterday’s picnic. I saw how you’d be an amazing mother. I saw how good you are with children, and how it interests you, and how it’s something that suits you perfectly. And honey,” I say, my voice choking now. “I can’t give that to you because chlamydia took that away from me. I’m infertile,” I finish, my voice dying to nothing. “I’ll never be a father.”
God, has anything every been so difficult to admit? No one knows about my condition, not even my brother. There was just no reason to share the news, as I was already cured. Even more, I didn’t care about the infertility because I never saw myself as a doting dad. It was something that only guys like Luke do.
But now, having found Simona, I know that I was completely wrong. I know that I want children with her desperately, and yet I can’t do it. I’m the one who’s broken and imperfect, and even worse, I know I have to let the curvy girl go as a result.
“Honey, I love you so much,” are my broken words. “More than life itself. But again, I saw how you’d be perfect as a mommy, and because I can’t do that for you, I have to let you go. You know that saying, if you love something, then set it free? Well I love you, Simona, but I want you to find your happiness with another man. I want you to have dozens of babies with him.”
I’m dying inside as I say these words, and yet the sentiment is genuine. I adore this woman and want what’s best for her, even if it doesn’t include me in her future.
Simona blinks with shock, as if I’ve started levitating in front of her, but then she shakes her head. “No, James, it can’t be true.”
I look at the table, the pain so great in my chest that I wonder if I’m having a minor heart attack.
“Simona, a doctor confirmed it,” I say in a low voice. “I realize this comes as a shock, and don’t worry, there’s no way that I passed the STD onto you. I’m cured, but the disease wrecked my sperm. It causes DNA fragmentation in sperm, so effectively, my seed is malformed and immobile. I can’t give you a family, honey, and you deserve that. You deserve everything.”
But Simona’s still not accepting it. She shakes her head from side to side so fast that her curls bounce.
“James, that’s just not true,” she says before taking my hand gently and looking directly into my eyes. “You’re not infertile because I’m pregnant with your child right now. I’ve suspected for a little while, but I took a pregnancy test just a couple of hours ago, and it was positive.”
Now I’m the one staring at her with my mouth agape. My pulse races as the air whooshes from my lungs. I desperately need oxygen, but it’s as if I can’t inhale fast enough.
“Are you sure?” I ask in a low voice.
She nods and then stands before darting to the bathroom. A moment later, she reappears with a plastic indicator in her hand and shows me the word “Pregnant” in bold letters on the stick.
“James,” my beautiful brunette says in a low tone. “I’m having your baby. The chlamydia must have been quite a scare, but our child is living proof that your virility is intact, and that you in fact can be a father. Oh, and I love you too.”
With that, I scoop her up into my arms and shower her with kisses. My voice cracks as I whisper hoarsely, “Holy shit. Thank you, honey, I adore you.”
She giggles a bit, although her laugh is mixed with tears.
“It’s okay,” she whispers. “I take it you want this baby?”
I spin her around the room once more, my heart overflowing with emotion.
“Yes,” I rasp. “I want this baby with you. I want more children with you too, Simona. I want you to be the mommy of all my children, and I want to keep you pregnant until you’re utterly sick and tired of it. I love you, Simona, and thank you for this gift.”
To my surprise, tears are streaming down my face like a baby, but I don’t care. This woman is everything to me, and even more, she’s changed my life for the better. After all, I thought there was a price to pay for my promiscuous ways. But with the right woman, things have worked out, and now I’m going to be a daddy for real.
“I love you too, James, my prince, my everything,” the sweet brunette whispers in my ear before gently placing my hand on the tiny bulge of her belly. “Say hi to Daddy,” she coos to our child.
With that, I let out a laugh and pull the curvy girl tighter into my embrace. “I want you, and I want the baby too,” is. my growl. You are my family now, Simona. You and the child both.”
And with those words, our fate is sealed forever. I never thought becoming a father was in the works for me, but with Simona by my side, even the most fantastical dream can become a wonderful reality.
