The Facade by Judy Corry
Mack
The alarmon my phone startled me from my sleep. But since I always hit snooze three times before dragging myself out of bed, I reached over to my nightstand to push the button on my phone to silence the upbeat music.
Only, instead of touching something hard and cool, my fingers landed on something soft and silky.
What the?
When I opened my eyes, I saw that I was not in the same bed that I’d gone to sleep in last night.
I was in Cambrielle’s bed.
And yeah, she was there, too.
She moaned tiredly and rolled onto her side, her hand reaching for her phone to turn off the alarm.
She seemed pretty drowsy still. I glanced at her balcony door, my heart pounding in my ears. Maybe I could slip out before she was fully awake and she’d never know that I’d somehow ended up in her bed last night.
I looked at her again. Her breathing seemed even enough, and her back was turned to me now. I might have a chance at avoiding an awkward situation.
So I carefully rolled off the bed, bracing my fingers on the floor to slowly lower myself on to the carpet. Then ever so slowly, I crawled on my hands and knees past the foot of her bed. I was just reaching for the deadbolt on the door when Cambrielle’s voice broke through the quiet room, saying, “I know you slept in here, Mack.”
Busted.
I froze for a second, my hand hanging mid-air before I cringed and looked back at her. “How bad was it this time?”
Had I made it out of her house? Had she chased me through the woods again?
“Aside from the fact that you decided to get into my bed and make yourself at home, it wasn’t that bad.” Cambrielle scooted up to rest her back against the padded white headboard of her canopy bed, pushing some of her brown hair away from her face.
“Yeah?” I rolled from my knees to sit on my butt against her wall, resting my arms around my legs. “And how did I get in here exactly? Did I just come in and you found me next to you sometime during the night?”
Because from the wall of pillows down the center of her bed, she had to have noticed me at some point and decided to protect herself from any accidental cuddling in the night.
I didn’t know if I was a cuddler, since I’d never shared a bed with anyone overnight—well until last night, apparently—but I hoped I hadn’t tried spooning her in her sleep.
She would’ve screamed and woken me up if I had, right?
“You came to my balcony door.” Cambrielle gestured at the French doors beside me. “At first I thought a murderer was knocking, but then I realized murderers probably don’t knock before they come in. That’s when I realized it was you.”
I dropped my head and shook it, feeling the warmth of embarrassment creeping over me.
Why couldn’t my body just stay where it was supposed to be at night? How was it possible for me to get so detached from reality in my sleep that I could wander around aimlessly, completely unaware of where my dreams were taking me, and then have absolutely no recollection of it in the morning?
Maybe I should have my dad take a closer look at my brain. Maybe my mom wasn’t the only one who needed his and his colleagues’ expertise.
I drew in a deep breath and sighed. “Sorry my subconscious is weird,” I said. “I’m starting to think I need to have someone handcuff me to the bed, so I’ll stop doing stupid stuff like this.”
“Handcuffs?” Cambrielle’s eyes widened, and a faint glow of pink colored her cheeks.
I shook my head. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Hey, you’re the one climbing into my bed without a shirt on.” Cambrielle laughed, a light, tinkling sound that always made me smile because it was cute and fit her midget size perfectly. “What am I supposed to think?”
I looked down at myself and quickly realized I’d been sitting here half-naked this whole time.
I grabbed one of the gold throw pillows still on the floor and hugged it to my chest. “There, is that better?” I asked. “Because I promise I wasn’t trying to seduce you with my rippling ab muscles, even though I know how much you like looking at them.”
She threw a pink pillow at my head. “In your dreams.”
“Apparently.” I chuckled, tossing the pillow right back at her. “Since my dreams are what led me here last night.”
Cambrielle pushed back the covers and slipped her bare feet on the floor, drawing my attention to her tanned legs that I could see quite a bit of, thanks to her pajama shorts.
Though I knew better than to think of her as more than the kid sister of my best friends, or even as a friend herself, I still couldn’t help but notice how grown up she was looking these days.
She was still tiny, her brothers having apparently stolen all the tall genes from their dad, but instead of being all hard angles like she’d been when she ate, drank, and slept ballet, she now had curves in all the right places. And yeah, I might have noticed them more and more in recent weeks as we’d been seeing more of each other.
I let my gaze linger on her curved booty and follow the line up along her torso as she started making her bed. And for a moment, I wondered why I’d never tried to make something happen with her.
Oh yeah, because she was like the sister I’d never had, and Carter would kill me if I tried to touch his innocent little sis since he knew all about my escapades to the falls on the weekends.
Not that I did anything more than kissing during those trips to the falls—the farthest I’d ever made it was second base. But from the things I’d heard here and there, I wasn’t sure Cambrielle had even made it to first base yet…not sure she’d even really been up to bat.
She had a great personality and was pretty enough—the girl was gorgeous, actually. But she was also shy around guys.
Plus, the fact that Carter glared at any guy who looked at his sister the wrong way wasn’t exactly making it easy for guys to approach her. I’d overheard a few guys in our biology class talking about wanting to take her out, but then someone would mention her big brother’s protective nature and it always ended the conversation.
For which I was actually kind of glad, since most of those guys weren’t good enough for Cambrielle anyway—she deserved better than a guy who just wanted a random hookup.
But it was still pretty crazy to me that she didn’t go on dates more.
“What?” Cambrielle said when she turned to pick up a pillow from the floor, bringing me back to the present. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
She looked down at herself, like she thought something might be wrong, and then hugged the pillow to her chest.
“Nothing’s wrong.” I blinked my eyes and shook my head. “I, uh, I just zoned out for a sec.”
She furrowed her brow and held out a hand, pointing to the pillow I was still hugging. “Well, you should probably get out of here before Carter or Nash try going into your room and find that you aren’t in there.”
“You’re probably right.” I stood and handed her the pillow. “Can’t have them finding out about my sleepwalking.”
She took the pillow and tossed it onto her bed before looking at me thoughtfully. “You sure you don’t want to just tell them? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Nah, that’s okay.” I rubbed a hand over my short, curly hair. “The fewer people who know about my issues, the better.”
She gave me a skeptical look, tilting her head to the side. “So you’d rather have them discover your secret when they find you curled up in bed next to them one morning?”
My eyes widened at the thought of sleepwalking into Nash’s or Carter’s room.
Or their parents’ bedroom.
Yikes, that would be a nightmare.
Had I just been really lucky that I ended up in the room of the one person who already knew all about my night wanderings?
I rubbed my cheek. “I guess I didn’t consider that possibility.”
“My brothers are cool,” she said. “They wouldn’t care if you told them you’ve been having trouble sleeping. It’s completely understandable, especially with everything that’s going on right now.”
I sighed as I considered what she was saying. Of course her brothers knew I was a huge mess right now. They’d planned extra guys’ nights where we just played basketball, went hiking, or played video games so I could blow off steam. But even though they’d probably be cool about it, I just didn’t want them to know that I sometimes did crazy things in my sleep like going swimming with the fish in their pond, or wandering through the woods at midnight and walking until my feet were all bloody from the rough terrain.
I knew the only thing sure in life was that it would eventually come to an end. So the logical side of my brain wondered why I was having such a hard time accepting that my mom’s passing was just coming a couple of decades sooner than we’d originally expected.
People died at a younger age all the time. Why should it cause such a disruption to my psyche when death was just a part of living?
But I knew the answer.
It was because it was my mom who was dying and not someone else’s. It was my mom who was getting one day closer to never waking up again.
A feeling of dread filled me with those thoughts, and that “going crazy” feeling that I always got every time I thought about a future without my mom started creeping over me.
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. My chest tightened, as if something was pressing down on me.
“Mack?” Cambrielle’s voice sounded alarmed just as the edges of my vision turned black with the onset of another panic attack. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head and tried to catch a breath, but I couldn’t through the pressure in my chest.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
I bent over with my hands on my knees, hoping the panic attack would subside, but my vision just blurred more as the pounding in my head started.
I was going to die.
It felt like I was going to die.
“Mack?” Cambrielle’s voice was panicked. “What’s happening?”
“I can’t…breathe…” I said, clutching a hand to my chest. “I can’t…”
I closed my eyes, feeling my muscles go weak as I surrendered to the feeling taking over me.
“Mack!” Cambrielle stepped in front of me, grabbing my shoulders in her hands. “Tell me what’s going on. Are you having a heart attack? Do I need to call nine-one-one?”
“No,” I gasped, shaking my head. “…panic attack…” I let out a labored breath. “Just give me a…” I gulped some air. “…minute…”
I sighed again and focused on Cambrielle who was now smoothing her hand along my back in a soothing gesture.
“It’s okay,” she said in a gentle tone. “You’re going to be okay. Just breathe.”
I sucked in a deep lungful, and after a moment, the pounding sensation that had taken over my whole body subsided. My vision cleared and I no longer felt like I was going to die.
I lifted my eyes to Cambrielle’s worried face. “Sorry about that,” I said, slowly standing back up to my full height and leaning against her wall for support.
“Don’t be sorry,” she said, running her hand up and down my arm. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah, I just need a minute.” I drew in a shaky breath, feeling wiped out and like I could take a nap.
Seeming to sense that I was indeed going to not die on her, Cambrielle patted my arm and then stepped back. She leaned against the side of her bed across from me so we were facing each other.
“Have you had a panic attack before?” she asked, her voice quiet as if afraid that if she spoke too loudly I might break.
I clenched my jaw and nodded. “A few.”
“Was it something I said that made it happen?” she asked. “Because you don’t have to tell my brothers about your sleepwalking if it’s that bad. I just thought they might be able to help you better than I can.”
I shook my head, and before she could worry she was at fault, I said, “It wasn’t that.” I bit my bottom lip. “I just started thinking about my mom and um…” Tears pricked at my eyes. I cleared my throat before my voice could wobble. “And my thoughts just went on this downward spiral.”
She nodded, like she understood the exact kind of thoughts that would trigger a panic attack in me. “I’m so sorry you have to worry about this. I wish I could just make everything better for you.”
I nodded solemnly. “Yeah, me too.”
She looked away, and when she wiped at her eyes, I noticed her unshed tears.
Great. I was bringing her down already. And it wasn’t even six-thirty in the morning.
This was why I didn’t like telling my friends about the panic attacks or the sleepwalking. I hated being a buzzkill.
“Anyway,” I said, pushing myself away from her light-pink wall and walking toward the French doors to sneak back to my room. “I really should go now.”
I was just turning the door handle when there was a knock on Cambrielle’s door, followed by Carter’s deep voice. “Hey, Cambrielle, can I use your balcony to get to Mack’s room? I’ve been knocking on his door and calling him, but he’s not answering.”
Crap!
I quickly opened the door and ran onto the balcony just as Cambrielle called out, “S-sure. Um, just a minute.”
I made it to the French doors that led to Ian’s room, but just before I stepped inside, I realized that I couldn’t go in there because Carter would find me and wonder why I’d been ignoring him.
Thinking fast, I closed the door that I’d apparently left open last night and set myself on the porch swing that sat along the wall between Cambrielle’s room and my temporary room.
I had just leaned back with my hands behind my head when Carter stepped through the balcony doors, already wearing his school uniform with the navy-blue blazer and tan slacks.
I pretended to look surprised when I saw him.
“There you are,” he said when he saw me, relief showing on his face. “I’ve been knocking on your door and trying to call you.”
“Oh you were?” I said, hoping to seem like I hadn’t just heard him tell Cambrielle that very thing. “Sorry, I just thought I’d…” I scrambled for an excuse to explain why I was outside so early in the morning. Then it came to me. “I was just practicing my meditation. I must be getting pretty good at it since I didn’t hear a thing.”
Yeah, my mom would be so disappointed at how easily lying came to me these days. But it was kind of a necessary evil.
“I guess that explains the whole no-shirt thing you’ve got going on.” He narrowed his eyes at my bare chest as if he thought all meditation enthusiasts preferred to meditate with the warmth of the morning sun directly on their skin. Well, who knows, maybe that was a thing. The Hastings family were the ones who did regular meditations on Sundays. “It’s a bit chilly to be hanging out here like that though, isn’t it?”
“Eh, maybe if you’re a wuss.”
Carter rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
Though now that he had brought it up, I could feel the cold bumps prickling all over my skin from the chill in the late autumn air.
“What did you need from me, anyway?” I stood, deciding to head inside Ian’s room since it was actually cold and if I started shivering, I might totally give myself away.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to go four-wheeling with Ava and me after school today.” Carter followed me into my room. “I thought it might be nice to get out there before the weather gets too cold.”
“You want me to be the third-wheel and get secondhand embarrassment from how bad you flirt with my sister?” I cocked an eyebrow.
Carter pushed his hands into his pockets. “We’re not that bad. And yes, I think it would be fun. We could invite the rest of the crew, if you want.”
It would be good to have something to do to keep my mind off of what might be happening with my mom’s treatment. I could only study so much before my brain turned to mush.
So I said, “Okay. I guess that sounds fun.”
“Cool. I’ll text everyone. Should we plan on starting around four?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said, knowing that as soon as he was done here, he would schedule the event into his beloved bullet journal—he was obsessed with the thing for some reason.
“Perfect.” He glanced at the bed that I’d left at who knew what time last night, and after taking in the tangled mess of sheets, pillow, and comforter, he furrowed his brow and said, “Restless night?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged, hoping he couldn’t tell it had been reckless in addition to being restless.
“Well.” He swung his hands at his sides, like he wasn’t sure if he should ask why it had been so restless. Like he worried it might have something to do with my mom and he wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about it. Then, after seeming to decide to leave the subject alone, he hooked a thumb over his shoulder to point to the door that led to the hall. “I’ll just see you downstairs. I think Marie made my favorite crepes for breakfast, so I wanna make sure I get some before you and Nash attack them.”
“Great, see you down there.”
And once he left, I collapsed on the bed, thinking about how close of a call that was.
I needed to find a way to make sure I stayed in this room tonight.
