Family Affair by Elle M Thomas
Chapter 4
Declan
Mase is calling after Olivia, warning her about dancing alone but she completely ignores him which makes me laugh. He is seriously whipped. As his head snaps in my direction, I regret my laughter that has drawn his attention towards me.
“Mase,” I begin, preparing to apologise, but he interrupts.
“Do not tell me it was another accident because the tiny grip I have on my sanity will slip completely if you do,” he says with an anxious disposition I have rarely seen in my brother.
“Okay. It wasn’t an accident, but it wasn’t planned. I needed to talk to her, to explain that I didn’t mean to make her feel shitty after last time.”
My brother is staring at me expressionless, and the truth is that I have no idea if he is going to punch me or laugh. He does neither. With his fingers pushing through his hair, he shakes his head.
“I assume she bought whatever you said judging by how naked you both were when I came in?”
I feel guilty again as I realise that I didn’t even achieve my objective when I sullied my brother’s honeymoon suite. Not that I think anything Anita and I did would or could be classed as tarnished in anyway, but I can see that Mase might disagree. If he does, I hope he won’t be too disparaging about Anita because she doesn’t deserve his judgement or disdain and if he does, I will defend her.
“We didn’t get around to talking,” I admit warily and attempt to soften that particular blow. “We’re going out to dinner though, you know, like a date.”
I sound ridiculous to myself so am in no doubt that Mase will reach that conclusion too. He sighs with another shake of his head and leads me to the top of the stairs where he sits down and gestures for me to do the same.
“Dec,” he begins as I sit beside him. “What are you doing? She’s my wife’s sister. You can’t fuck her and then drop her like you normally do. This really is a case of crapping on your own doorstep, or at least mine.”
“I know,” I admit. “Did you tell Liv? Anita was worried about her finding out.”
Mase stares at me once more. “If you continue to fuck her sister, she will find out and if you mess Anita around and hurt her, my girl is going to be pissed and if she finds out that you both enjoyed our honeymoon suite before we did, she is unlikely to be impressed. The fact that you are still standing suggests I haven’t told her though.”
“Thanks.” I’m grateful that he hasn’t told Liv about Anita.
“What do you plan on doing, Dec?”
It is a simple and fantastic question, and I wish I had an answer for him. I don’t. Not a clear or concrete one anyway.
“I like her, but I like a lot of girls,” I admit, knowing this is nothing newsworthy to either of us. I am, after all, a man whore. “That time in the club was amazing and today I wanted to talk but once we were alone…shit, the sex was inevitable and it was fucking superb, better than the first time which I didn’t think was possible.”
My face is a grimace, frown and scowl that amuses my brother judging by his grin.
“You’re disappointed it was good?”
“Gutted.” I attempt to explain myself. “I wanted it to be no better than good so that I could put it behind me. Since that day in the kitchen, every time I’ve had sex has been mediocre because it wasn’t like it was with her. Today was the best…how the fuck am I going to go back to meaningless sex if my own hand whilst thinking about Anita is better than actual sex with any other person who isn’t her?”
Mase is agog at my words. I’m pretty stunned myself because those words were not what I was planning to say and yet I said them anyway. My brother’s laughter breaks my silent misery, but I fail to find anything amusing and my sullen expression confirms it. The same expression that seems to increase Mase’s amusement.
“What?” I cry, irritated by his continuing laughter and my own words and thoughts.
I do not do this. I am not looking for permanence and I know that Anita is not a fuck buddy kind of girl, so what the hell am I doing? I am taking her on a date, and I called it that even though I don’t really date either. I do nights out but usually with the forgone conclusion that the night out will be hot and satisfying but ultimately meaningless long term.
“You, little brother, are seriously fucked!” he states with more laughter.
Picking up on his inference, my irritation rises further, and my response confirms my mood. “Yeah, I was seriously fucked in the honeymoon suite before you were. In fact, I am two for two over you for shagging a Carrington girl first at your engagement and now your wedding.”
All laughter stops and cold fury settles across Mase’s face, clouding his eyes.
“Declan,” he warns, my full name testament to that. “I am going to make allowances for the fact that you have been knocked on your arse by Anita. However, if you ever refer to the shagging of my wife like she’s one of your usual slappers or make my fucking of her into a who can piss the highest contest I will put you on your actual arse, understand?”
I can see he’s seething and regret my words. I regretted them as soon as they were out. “Sorry.” I apologise guiltily. “What do I do?” I am desperate for a solution to my turmoil and confusion.
“Go to dinner if that’s what you’ve agreed. No more sex until you’ve talked and if you can’t agree on what you want, need, cut her loose.”
“And if I don’t want to cut her loose?”
“Then we’re back to you being fucked like I was from the second I set eyes on Livy.”
“Shit,” I hiss as I realise the enormity of things because I was there when Mase met Olivia, but me and Anita, it can’t be the same, can it?
“Hey, there’s my boys,” our dad calls as he ascends the stairs. “Your mum was looking for you,” he tells me. Turning to Mase he grins. “And your wife is setting the dancefloor alight.”
“What did I tell her?” Mase asks as he leaps to his feet.
“Clearly you took too long.” I laugh, reminding him of Olivia’s words.
“Don’t look so amused little brother…you’ve got all of this to come,” he says but is already descending the stairs two at a time followed by me and my dad who has just slapped my back for no reason I can think of.
Maybe I should cancel dinner. This is a really bad idea. I am not Mase and I do not want or need what he has, not now, not ever…not anymore, and Anita needs to accept that.
Anita
Liv leads me into the reception and immediately grabs us a couple of glasses of champagne before directing me to sit at a small table in the corner. She watches me closely, too closely meaning I am in no way surprised when she launches into a discussion on how I came to be upstairs with Dec.
“So, Dec?” she asks and like that I am busted.
My mouth curls into a huge smile, but I am already flushing and then taking on a very guilty expression, I can feel it so I know she can see it. I nod but say nothing. I have no clue what to say. What is there to say and what is she expecting? I am clueless as to what Mase may or may not have told her meaning I am at a serious disadvantage in knowing exactly what her so, Dec, question means. It could just be that she is curious to know why we were upstairs together, or it could be that she’d like to know why I thought getting shagged against the wall of the honeymoon suite she will be sharing with her new husband was ever an option.
My mind drifts back to our earlier, interrupted conversation in the hotel room when I was talking about when she first met Mase, specifically the part where she said she expected that Dec knew about her and Mase which now makes me wonder if Mase knows about me and Dec. There’s no doubt that he was surprised to find us shagging in his room, but with hindsight he didn’t seem too startled to see me and Dec together meaning his brother knows that wasn’t our first time, but just what does my sister know?
“Anita, I feel a bit uncomfortable asking this,” she says nervously and my heart sinks as I imagine where this conversation is going. “Upstairs, you and Dec?” I can see an awkward flush creeping up her cheeks meaning she doesn’t want to ask me, but she continues. “The honeymoon suite, you and Dec…”
I am crapping myself now because if she suspects what we’ve done and I confirm it she could go off on one, rightfully so, but I do not need my recent shag, as amazing as it was to be outed in this very full room.
“I can explain,” I begin, but Liv is already picking up her earlier conversation.
“I can take a joke, so can Mase. We laugh, a lot, but if you’ve done something to our room, something bad it might not go down too well. Today has been perfect so far and I want it to continue that way. Mase needs it to be perfect, for me he thinks, but he needs perfection more than me. After everything with Raymond, losing the baby and the court case, Mase needs today to be the first day of forever for us both and our future babies,” she explains with a grin and I realise that she thinks Dec and I were unscrewing the legs on their bed or filling it with condoms, or whatever else people do to newlyweds and the relief I first felt at her misunderstanding is replaced with guilt as I replay her words.
“Are you pregnant?” I ask her with a grin for hers and Mase’s future babies and a suspicious glance in the direction of her untouched champagne flute.
Liv shakes her head. “Not that I’m aware of, although I haven’t had a period for five weeks.” She grins. “I might have packed a pregnancy test for our honeymoon though.”
“Wow, that’s great.” I mean it. It would be great if she was pregnant, great for Mase and her and they’ll be great parents whenever their time comes. I then think of our dad and just how thrilled he’ll be to be a grandad. My smile disappears at that moment as a cocktail of emotions flood my brain.
Olivia is already turning the conversation back to Dec and doesn’t seem to notice anything untoward in my mood or expression.
“I think Dec likes you, the way he looks at you…” and then the penny drops for her. “Oh my God, you and Dec, bloody hell. He was the one, wasn’t he? At our engagement party?” She doesn’t wait for an answer. Her mind is already putting the pieces together with a gasp. “Upstairs, you and Dec…Anita, please be careful,” she pleads with a concerned frown. “Dec is a man whore. I love him, and he and Mase are close, but that’s what Mase calls him, a man whore, which is fine…”
Oh shit, she is doing the rambling thing our dad does and I need her to stop before I end up confessing all my sins and hidden skeletons come falling out of every closet I’ve hidden them in.
“Liv, I know. I know what Dec is, but it’s fine. We’re going out to dinner, soon, to talk. We both know that it’s complicated because of our families being linked and neither of us planned what happened and we weren’t expecting what happened to happen, either time,” I say, hoping I am explaining myself clearly, but with thoughts of the twice Dec and I have had sex I can’t keep the grin off my face.
“Bloody hell!” Liv mutters and then laughs. “You’ve got that face…I had that face from the first time I shagged Mase. If he is anything like his brother, you won’t ever be able to move on. Nobody will ever come close,” she tells me with an arched eyebrow that is also questioning me further.
“It’s like nothing I have ever known,” I finally admit with the biggest of grins that my sister reciprocates and then we both laugh again.
“You are screwed,” Liv finally says and then we laugh again, both of us knowing that I’ve already been screwed, twice, by Dec. “Just be careful,” she tells me and whilst I want to wave away her warnings, I can’t because I share them.
Dec could be the biggest mistake of my life and the fact that we’re linked through my sister’s marriage to his brother it will be further complicated for everyone if we make the wrong choices, and I am done with wrong choices.
A dance track suddenly sounds around us and in the blink of an eye Liv is up on her feet and dragging me off to the dancefloor where she manages to dance and move in a very seductive way, even in her wedding dress. She is attracting lots of attention as she moves to the music and at one point even Jimmy, Mase and Dec’s dad joins her. He dances for a few seconds before whispering something to her and then with a kiss to her cheek he leaves to return a few minutes later with Dec, both of whom are behind Mase. He is heading straight for his wife who I remember was told not to dance alone but once he reaches her, he simply pulls her to him, takes her in his arms and dances with her.
I smile at the picture of them in love until I look beyond them and find Dec. His eyes, dark, intense, conflicted, and fixed firmly on me.