Delayed Penalty by Shey Stahl

18. Dropping the Gloves

This is an act by a player indicating to the opponent he’s ready to fight.

Evan

“You pissed on the side of the building because the line for the bathroom was too long. That’s a douche move and you know it,” I explain to Leo. “I liked that place and now we can’t go back because we will always be known as the hockey players who pissed on the building.”

“Well, it was justified in my mind.” Leo takes a shot at the goal during warm-ups.

“In your drunk mind, maybe,” Travis adds, circling around to get back in line for his next shot.

“Yes, my man. Yes.” I point at him, nodding as if he has the correct answer.

Travis looks over at me when Leo skates away. “Hey, man, you fuck that girl yet?”

I glare at him. “Stop asking. What happened to you last night?”

“I ended up naked in the lobby wearing red hooker boots.”

“Good night?” I ask, trying to control my laughter.

He surprises me when he nods. “Fucking awesome night.”

“What happened to Remy after I left?”

“Ah, man,” Travis groans, leaning on his stick. “That fucker left with that Rachel chick who was all over him. Turns out he bagged both her and the one with the black dress... together.”

I raise an eyebrow. “No shit.”

“Shit.”

Remy is a douche to women, but fuck if they don’t love him. They know it from the start, maybe even like it a little, and they accept him for what he is: a whore. I’m not like that, though, and I don’t talk about girls like this. They do.

“My dick was red,” Remy says, circling around to us, having heard most of our conversation and needing to add his own details. “I’m guessing one of them might have been a virgin.”

“Dude? What the fuck?” I groan, feeling like I need out of this conversation.

“Probably the one with the black dress... Mariah?” Leo suggests, on the ice after ignoring Coach’s orders and sweet talking the team physician into believing he’s not concussed. “Anyway, she looked like she hadn’t been cherry picking yet. I bet she still had her V-card.”

“I guess so.” Remy shrugs, his attention turning to the sound of the whistle. Drills are beginning. “Either that or I was fuckin’ a chick with issues.”

I skate away after that. These guys… I wonder why I’m friends with these nasty fuckers.

After practice, I have plans to take Ami to dinner before we start the next series and I leave for San Jose. This time she’s coming with me. Just like I’d asked her to move in with me, I asked her to come on the road with me because I feared leaving her alone.

“You dropped the gloves,” Leo tells me when he notices my mood that morning. He knows me too well.

I’ve never been in love, but I start to look at my symptoms.

The mention of her name makes my stomach tighten?

Check.

Heart beating like a fucking girl with a crush?

Check.

Any skin revealed and I’m hard?

Check.

Watching her sleep like a goddamn stalker?

Check.

Wanting to know everything about her and what makes her smile? Wanting to be the reason for the smile?

Yep. Big fucking checks all around.

Fuck. I’m in love.

My dad once told me that you knew you were in love with a girl when you’re willing do anything for her. When you’re willing to change your life for her and would do anything she asked you to.

He also said you know they love you if they never ask you to change your life or anything else.

With Ami it’s so much more than that and has been since the beginning, before either one of us knew what was happening. I will do anything for her. She knows that.

Sometimes I wonder when this happened. When did I become so focused on this girl that nothing else matters? Was it when I found her? When she opened her eyes? When I kissed her?

I have no answers, no justifiable ones at least. Other than I’m in love.

I knew the time would come when I would fall in love, but I never thought it would happen like this, with a young woman in such a brutal scenario.

The shitty part for me is not only have I never been in love, but I also never knew what I was missing with Ami. I’ve never had a girl make me feel like she does.

The night before I leave for San Jose, I confess my feelings to her.

I remove my T-shirt, toss it on the floor and then slide into bed. Ami watches, her eyes low on my hips. She inhales a sharp breath. I can see it in her stare, feel it in her touch. “I’m going to miss you like crazy.”

Pulling her closer, I smile. “I love you,” I whisper, situating myself between her knees. I don’t say anything more for a long moment, letting the words sink in. I wonder if Josh told her he loved her. I wondered what her reaction was. Is it the reaction she’s having now, staring at me, giving me a look that tells me she holds the same feelings?

It’s also the first time I’ve ever said it to a girl who isn’t family, and it’s natural, like everything else with her. When she doesn’t say anything, it feels as though there’s a wild animal clawing at my heart, and every other piece of my chest, but I said it and she didn’t run from me.

My palms are on her stomach, pushing her shirt up. I touch her breasts over her bra and her cheeks turn the prettiest shade of pink, her breathing picking up. I watch with rapt attention as my words creep deep inside her. I can see it in those bright blues staring back at me and her parted lips.

My voice, the need to say more, hear more, is trapped in my throat.

Eventually, I say what I need. “Do you feel the same way?” I lean in to kiss down her arm, bringing her hand to mine, intertwining our fingers together.

“I love you.” Her voice is soft and unsteady. She tugs on my shoulders, drawing me closer. “Show me, Evan. Make it real. Don’t say it without making me feel it.”

How do I make this real?

When she touches my chest, I realize what she’s talking about. “Please, don’t stop, Mase....”

Fuck, she called me Mase again. It does me in every fucking time.

I slide her hand away from my chest to press my body flush with hers. She rubs her palms across my lower back, holding me against her. Not knowing exactly what I’m going to do next, I settle between her legs. My eyes are closed now, my eyebrows scrunched together. She touches my arm and shoulders, focusing on the way my muscles move beneath her hands. Supporting my weight on my elbows, I grip the sheets beside her head, groaning, carefully nibbling on sensitive skin. “I’m so fucked. You have me so fucked up.” My nose sweeps from her throat to her jawbone.

Her skin feels abnormally warm. It burns to touch and is so tempting to kiss. My lips find the spot where her pulse is the strongest. “Your heart is beating so fast,” I whisper quietly.

I release the sheets and touch her face, letting her see I’m just like her, trembling skin and chattering bones. I shift, my hips in line with hers, and begin breathing heavier.

“You’re my girl,” I tell her, trickling my fingers down her ribs. “You know that, right?”

Her legs reopen, wrapping around me. “Mase,” she whispers, searching my eyes and shifting to grind into me.

“Be still,” I beg, my self-control nearly gone.

“Please,” she begs again. “I want you.”

I put a finger to her lips. “Not yet. We have time. Let’s just take it slow. There’ll be time for that later.” The one time we have gotten close, Ami was too scared. Ever since then, she keeps saying she’s ready, but I can’t do it.

Although confused, she doesn’t argue. It’d be so fucking easy to get carried away. Her body, her words, her starry blues tell me she’s ready, but I know she isn’t. And despite how badly I want her to be, I want to preserve this part of our relationship a little longer. “I know the waiting is torture—it is for me—but I think after what you’ve been through, this is the best way to navigate our relationship.” I hitch her leg over my waist, giving her open-mouthed kisses. I ache for her so fucking badly, but I don’t trust myself to move. Instead, I kiss her. “I can get you off though.”

“I want more though.” She tries again, desperately reaching to unbutton my jeans. “I want all of you.”

I groan against her lips, stopping her hand. “You have all of me.” My entire body shivers, fighting what’s right from wrong. If she asks me one more time, I’ll do it.

Her lips are warm, full of love, her center pushing into mine, hot and deep. I cry out against her when she wiggles, arching into me. With only our underwear separating us, I push against her again. My body reacts to the heat, and my fucking knees shake.

She grips my sides, urging me forward each time I move. Tipping her head back with my fingers, I kiss her, tasting her love heavy on my tongue. “Okay, let’s slow down.”

“You’re right.”

I smile with closed eyes, kissing her one last time, twice, three times, before pulling away. “I love you,” I whisper again.

She wraps her arms and legs around my body. “Not as much as I love you.”

I smile. “There’s more of me.” I tickle her sides and roll onto my back, bringing her with me. “So I love you more.”

With her palms flat against my chest, she stares down at me. “I feel like the luckiest girl in the world being with you like this.”

She’s wrong though. I’m the lucky one.

I dropped the gloves. I finally told a girl I loved her, and fuck if I’m not ready to dance.