Delayed Penalty by Shey Stahl

26. Celly

A celebration when a goal is scored.

August

Ami

“What do hockey players do during the off-season?” I ask, sitting next to Evan on the couch. Leo, Remy, and Callie are over, all sitting around drinking beer and eating pizza.

“Oh, you know, play games,” Remy teases, winking at me.

I love hanging out with them all. Never have I felt more at home than I do now in Evan’s condo, part of this close-knit circle of friends he’s formed.

Off-season Evan surprises me. On the surface, Evan wants to have a good time and be the twenty-one-year-old kid he is. Sometimes I think that even he forgets his age. When people really need him, he’s the most dependable guy. What I love about Evan, he wears his heart unabashedly on his sleeve and he doesn’t play games with my heart or my head.

He’s gentle in ways you would have never expected. When the darkness colors my mind, he’s with me, bringing with him the light I need. Giving me my angel on the moon. His sense of humor, his kindness, his warmth, his courage, and his quiet confidence inspires me.

Evan clears his throat, obviously wanting to say something dirty, but he hesitates with his boys around, not wanting to embarrass me.

Instead, he nods to his bedroom with a wink. “I’ll show you.”

It certainly doesn’t take me long to catch onto what he’s suggesting. As discreetly as I can, I get up and walk down the hall to his room. He follows along with me, screams and whistles coming from the living room. With this crowd, it doesn’t matter how discreet you are. They’re gonna make a scene.

I’m not sure how long it lasts, two, maybe three minutes, but I’ve never felt as desired as I do when Evan clutches at me so desperately, gasping my name over and over again when he comes.

“What is it that they do?” I grin with a hint of mischief, as he holds me in place against his dresser. We didn’t even make it to the bed.

“They have sex, Ami.” He chuckles, knowing I won’t let it go. “Lots of sex.”

Evan’s right. They have lots of sex. Lots. And lots of dirty sex.

The other thing they do is enjoy some much-needed time off. So I hang out with them.

I’m not working. Evan doesn’t want me to just yet, so instead we go on vacations and I see how hockey players travel. We spend a lot of time with his parents, and then finally, Evan asks if I want to go to Oregon for the weekend.

The truth is, I’m scared to go back, but I know eventually I need to. I haven’t been back to Lebanon since November. I used to think our small town, buried in the middle of nowhere, had everything I ever needed. It was a place where nothing happened and nothing would change. But things did change for me.

The hometown hero, who would have put this small town on the map for making it big, died in a plane crash, just as his dreams were taking off.

Then I remember despite the tragedy that took my family, despite the brutal attack on me when I was trying to move on, the sun will still rise and set over this small town.

“So this is Lebanon, Oregon, eh?”

“Yes. Nothing but farms and a racetrack,” I tell him, trailing off a little when I think about what else is here. “And a baseball field.”

He holds me closer. “I’d like to see it, if you want me to.”

“The baseball field?”

“Yes,” he whispers with a low exhale. “If it gets me a little closer to knowing you, I want to see it.”

I smile up at him as we stand on the street outside my old house. “You already know me.”

He shakes his head, scrunching his nose from the cow shit smell that seems to always settle here. “I know the Chicago you. I don’t know the small-town girl who was born and raised in the town. I want to know her too.”

My shaking fingers sweep away my tears as I try to smile. “Okay.”

“Ami...,” he breathes, his voice nearly silent. I stare at him, waiting for him to say something more. “They’ll always be with you.” His fingers touch my cheek and then trail down my neck, over my collarbone to my chest where he taps right below my locket with his index finger. “Right here, always.”

When I think about my family, the memory is a very vivid one, and it certainly doesn’t feel faraway like they are. Neither does the loss. It’s still there, deep, raw, consuming at times.

Keeping his arms around me, Evan’s lips press to my shoulder. “When I walked into that hospital room and you looked at me for the first time, I was done,” he tells me. “Then you smiled and wrecked me.”

The warmth of his touch reminds me that though I’m no longer the small-town girl who was born and raised here, nor am I ever alone. “The night I left for Chicago, this was the last place I went,” I say, pointing to the ball field where I spent nearly every day with Andrew growing up. I look up at the sky and feel their presence for the first time. They’re watching over me. They brought me this all-heart boy to show me I still had someone to live for. And fuck if he didn’t have enough heart for all three of them. “There’s times when I feel a shiver, and suddenly I remember every detail about them. Then there’s times where I can’t remember what they look like, and it scares me to think someday their memory will be gone.”

“It won’t.” His hand moves over my breast. I think maybe he’s copping a feel, but then he smiles against my cheek. “They’re right there. They’re not going anywhere.”

He’s right. It won’t. They will forever be in my heart.

When we get back from Oregon, we head to Pittsburgh to spend some time with his family. After the trip back to my hometown, I realized that wasn’t where my family was any longer. I promise to keep in touch with the ones I have, but my life, my family is with Evan now. And more important here, at this table in the Quaker Steak and Lube in Pittsburgh, surrounded by hockey players and Evan’s family.

It’s the middle of summer, late August, and I really shouldn’t be wearing a jacket but I am, intending on teasing Evan. I’m wearing shorts and have this long gray jacket on over that. It looks odd now that I think about it, and Evan notices.

“Take your coat off,” he says, looking over the menu and my pink cheeks. “It’s hot in here. Aren’t you hot?”

“Nah, I’m cold.” I grin coyly, keeping my eyes on the menu.

“Why’s that? What you got under there?” Playfully, and with a mischievous grin, he pulls at the coat trying to sneak a peek.

I unbutton the first button and then smile. “Nothing....” I’m not lying. I have nothing but the jacket and shorts on. No bra.

“Keep that fucking coat on.” He smirks and shakes his head, shifting in his seat and then draping his arm over the back of my chair. “This is almost as bad as you sleeping in my childhood bed.”

“Why, are you turned on, Mase?” I feel like I scored the winning goal in overtime from the look on his face.

“Hell yes, I’m turned on,” he informs me as he wraps his arms around me and strokes the outside of my jacket, bunching the material between his fingers. “We need to leave.” In the span of two minute’s time span, he goes from telling me to keep the jacket on to trying to take it off.

I’m pretty sure I choke on my own tongue, but I keep my cool. “Nah, I’m hungry.”

Evan groans, his head falling forward to rest against the table as his family shows up. For the next ten minutes, he’s agitated because of what I’ve done, so I decide I’m going to be brave and try what Callie told me about. Public indecency.

“We only have a few minutes,” I whisper. “There’s a bathroom down the hall.”

“And I only need a few seconds.” He grunts, pushing his menu away.

“That’s all, huh?”

He shrugs unapologetically. “What can I say, you do things to me. Good things. Dirty things.” He glances at his dad who’s just walked in. “We’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam says, rolling his eyes. “Take your fucking time. Everyone else is.” He nods to Judy who’s walking slower than normal and Catelyn who’s paying more attention to her phone than where she’s going.

Evan and I find a bathroom down the hall in the restaurant. Evan turns and locks the door. “Well, look at that!” Evan quirks his brow and leans forward, pushing me against the wall. “You weren’t lying about nothing being under this coat.”

“Nope.”

The coat is removed quickly. It’s another one of those times when my hockey player shows me about his sprinting speed and his endurance to get the job done in a penalty kill situation. He’s on his game, and I can now understand Callie’s remark about Evan making her scream in a matter of seconds.

His mouth immediately connects with my bare tits and stay that way until he comes.

My legs drop from around his waist, our limbs tangling together as he shifts, trying to get me back to a standing position without falling. “Like I said, I only needed seconds.”