Blinded By Prejudice by KaraLynne Mackrory
Chapter Fifteen
It was with supreme effort that I followed Jane to the relative privacy of the morning room before peppering her with my questions. I marvelled at the radiance of her features. My sister had always been the handsomest among us, but the joy within her at this long-desired understanding with Mr Bingley rendered her incomparable in her beauty. My own breast filled with tender affection, and I expressed it as any loving sister might expect as soon as the doors closed behind us.
“Jane! Dearest, most deserving sister! You must tell me every detail and make haste!”
Tears sprung into her luminous eyes, and together we sat comfortably on the sofa. I turned to her, my leg tucking under the other so I could view her entire face. I was eager, pleased, and ready to share in her felicity.
“Lizzy, he is the very best of men. I had known I was in love with him before your accident; however, I could not have even guessed the depth of my regard would increase upon seeing his manner in the aftermath of it.”
“I confess, for what I have witnessed of Mr Bingley, I am quite content with the picture of your future life with him.”
Jane’s smile reached her eyes, pressing them to release a single happy tear to roll down her cheek. I reached immediately to wipe it away with my hand, resting my palm against my sister’s silken skin. After a moment, though, despite the warmth of sisterly affection between us, I could countenance no more delays.
“Now, Sister, how did such a long-desired event finally come about? I had hoped my using our mother’s particular talent today in her stead would produce some desired results.”
“Lizzy!” Jane laughed. “You are too much.”
“I suppose I shall have to thank Mama for her excellent example now, little though I appreciate it when she is at home.”
“Yes, I believe we both owe a bit of gratitude to her. Indeed, it was not long after we departed on our walk that Charles, wondering where the rest of our party was, discovered we were quite some distance ahead.”
I laughed, giving Jane an obvious expression of triumph. Shaking her head good-naturedly at me, she continued.
“He was most gentlemanly and asked whether I would like to wait for you to catch up or turn back and join you and Mr Darcy’s relations. Lizzy, you may censure me for my boldness for I told Charles I was content to continue our walk.”
“I shall do no such thing! Well done, Jane. I am pleased to hear you asserted yourself, and I daresay it was not an unhappy communication to your walking companion.”
Despite her heated cheeks, Jane explained that she and Mr Bingley walked on, and at first they were silent until soon her companion could no longer remain so. He expressed his love for her in such words that my sister’s eyes were once again filled with tears at the recall of them.
So this is what it looked like to have your every happiness secured for a lifetime with the other half of your soul. I listened contentedly and without envy for my sister’s happiness. On occasion an errant thought of my own future would intrude, nevertheless, I did not allow it any power over me. Mr Darcy and my future marriage to him had already demanded more of my mind than I wished. Jane’s happiness filled every gap of my own, and for her, I could not have been more pleased.
“Then it is complete, Jane. He is well suited to you, and I have no reservations giving you my hearty congratulations and blessing.”
We embraced, and Jane, drawing back slightly, met my eyes with earnest concern.
“I believe you too can be happy with Mr Darcy. Charles and I have often spoken of it. We have both expressed a surprise for not having seen how compatible the two of you are before now. Please take no offence, Lizzy. Of course I would have wished for you to love the man you marry first, but I do think it likely that you could come to love your betrothed after marriage just the same.”
I attempted to speak then, but the words caught in my throat. It was just as well, for I was uncertain what they might have been. I knew little of my future husband and had already determined to not allow the dark doubts that lingered like smoke in the recesses of my heart to rule the way I interacted with him. I was beginning to believe that at the very least we could get on as friends in this forced marriage of ours. Love, that was another aspect I dared not even consider. It was fraught with perils greater than we had faced buried in the earth! Although his relations had indicated Mr Darcy did not look at me to find fault as I had always believed, I could not make the leap that his sentiments towards me could ever amount to the depths of real love. Nothing like my sister and her suitor, to be sure.
Still, I could not leave Jane’s heartfelt hope unanswered, and in time, with no small effort on my part to regulate my tone, I replied, “I admit I am less worried for my future with Mr Darcy than I might have said a few weeks ago, even days ago. Your faith in my future happiness is a source of encouragement for me, Jane. I can only promise to try to be as open to happiness as the gentleman is. Will that satisfy?”
“Yes, Sister, it is enough.”
Our embrace spoke volumes of our affection. It served also as a pointed punctuation on the changes that we would both be facing ere long. It was indeed a comfort to know that Jane would no longer be subjected to our mother’s humiliations, but would instead be blessed with the affections of a good man. I was furthermore pleased for myself; Mr Bingley being a dear friend to my own future spouse meant that I would never be long away from her.
“I must say, Jane, Mr Bingley has shown a pleasing sort of decisiveness since the collapse, which gives me great comfort to know he is not so amiable as to be easily taken advantage of.”
Jane agreed wholeheartedly. She could see no fault in her suitor prior to the accident, but found the way he acted so promptly in organising the rescue, asserting control over his sister’s reputation, and stepping into a reversal of roles with his dear friend—wherein he was the adviser instead of the advised—to be vastly attractive. Mr Bingley could never be the commanding leader that his friend naturally was, but his action left an impression that he was both amiable and capable in stressful situations.
Together, we spoke of the value of such a trait in one’s future spouse and speculated, as sisters often do, on the other pleasing traits that were now hers to discover, with the added allowances that would be made now that she and Mr Bingley had an understanding. I thought briefly of Mr Darcy’s wish for me to know him better. If the choice of marriage partners was no longer mine to make, I felt a measure of peace to know that Mr Darcy did not wish me to be a stranger any more than I would wish him to be.
“Charles suggested he come with his carriage tomorrow morning to escort us to Netherfield and speak to our father when he arrives. I cannot thank you enough, Sister, for the idea that we ease Mr Darcy’s recovery by going to him. It was an unexpected answer to a concern of mine. On our walk, after Charles declared himself, he suggested I might like a tour of Netherfield, and I did not wish to appear too eager. He loves me, and I him, but just the same, with the way our mother always spoke so unguardedly… You understand, do you not, Lizzy? I could not accept readily, though I wished to.”
How handily Colonel Fitzwilliam had cornered me with his falsehood. I contemplated how quickly all involved were to show favour for the plan and praise me for it. He would be pleased to know how little I could protest it now. I just hoped he did not lead Mr Darcy to believe that I had suggested it. It ought not to have mattered to me whether Mr Darcy thought I was a little bit mercenary as we, neither of us, had any choice but to marry. Still, a part of me loathed the very idea that he might think so meanly of me.
“I am to have another visitor then?”
We both turned abruptly to the voice at the door. Our father was standing there with a glint in his eye. Jane stood, gracefully smoothed her gown, and glided to Papa, pulling one of his hands into hers.
She brought it to her lips, and with a quick kiss and an affectionate squeeze, she implored, “Papa, please be kind to him. I love him very much and have already accepted his hand.”
My father escorted my sister back to her seat as he took up a nearby chair. “With such a pretty entreaty, Jane, I have no choice but to go easy on your suitor. I am pleased to see you so joyful. No, I shall have to content myself with the efforts employed with Lizzy’s betrothed instead.”
“Papa! Please tell me you did not make mischief with Mr Darcy!”
“And what if I did, Lizzy? Why should you care whether I gave your intended a bit of trouble when he came asking for your hand?”
I sputtered. Indeed, why should I be bothered by it? I ought to have found amusement at the thought of my prideful future husband bested by my father’s playful way.
“It is only…well, he is blind!”
My father merely lifted an eyebrow at my protest. “That will make some aspects of your future life difficult, but it ought to have no bearing on whether or not he would be good to you. If I was required to accept the man for your reputation, I was certainly going to make it clear to him how I expect him to treat you.”
For some reason, his words only furthered my flustered state, and my cheeks warmed with embarrassment—and visions of Mr Darcy in his role as my husband. Jane, detecting my state, implored our father to not tease me.
“Be at ease, Lizzy. Although your suitor did not at first enjoy my prodding, he soon got the better of me and expressed himself with a determination that could not but satisfy. I think, daughter dearest, you have met your match with that gentleman of yours.”
I wanted to protest again. Mr Darcy was not mine. Yet the chagrin of realising he was, and more so than I had even begun to realise, only increased the blood rushing to my cheeks.
“He will not have an easy time of it, but I am convinced a man like Mr Darcy is not persuaded against his goals once he has decided upon them. You will give him a merry little ride, my Lizzybear.”
He stood then and placed a swift kiss on my cheek, a chuckle in his throat. He told Jane he would be pleased to see Mr Bingley in the morning. I remained lost in thought while they communicated the details of our day at Netherfield, set for after Mr Bingley’s interview. What could he mean by saying that Mr Darcy was determined upon a goal? Their interview ought to have had one purpose and one alone. Once my hand was secured, and my reputation with it, what could Mr Darcy have left to want? And what did it mean that my father seemed to approve of the gentleman so readily when I was certain Papa had many reservations on the match, no matter its necessity?
“It is well you will both be away from home tomorrow, girls. I came to tell you that your mother and sisters have written and plan to return on the morrow. It seems that Lydia was made unhappy to hear from Miss Maria Lucas of the regiment’s arrival, and she beseeched your mother to return so she might not lose any more of their time in the area. I did hope to extend to you both a greater holiday, but seeing as you are nearly recovered, Lizzy, I could not very well suggest an alteration of their plans.”
Jane replied, “Thank you, Papa. We shall be glad to see them again.”
She was more of a saint than I, for glad was not the sentiment I felt. Terror might more accurately capture my thoughts on the news. For the first time since Colonel Fitzwilliam spun his little web of lies, I was relieved. I shuddered at the thought of Mr Darcy being subjected to my mother’s vulgarity. We could not change the fact that we would marry. The imagined sight of his disgust, increased with daily reminders in the form of my mother, was unendurable a thought at present. To Netherfield I would go, to spare Mr Darcy and myself that mortification.