Egotistically Yours by Hayley Faiman

Chapter Twenty

BETHANIE

After I change Tucker,I wipe the tears from beneath my eyes. They started falling and I couldn’t stop them. Taking my phone out of the side of the diaper bag, I send a text to Tenny. I don’t know why, but I just need a friend.

Out at some client of Laurent’s. This is hell. They are terrible.

TENNY: Suck ass. Do you want me to call and make up an emergency?

Ha. No, but thank you.

TENNY: You’re coming tomorrow night for dinner, right?

I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I need some happiness after tonight.

TENNY: What’s so bad?

Everything. Too much to type. I’ll tell you allllll about it tomorrow.

TENNY: Yikes.

Double yikes.

Shoving the phone back in the diaper bag, I don’t know why, but just that short conversation makes me feel better. With a renewed energy, or maybe calmness, I gather Tucker and head back to the patio.

The three of them are talking, so I don’t walk out right away. Melody is waving her arm around, but it’s Laurent that I am interested in. His body is held tight, almost too stiff and I wonder what on earth she is spewing, because he looks pretty angry and uncomfortable.

Opening the door, I forge forward and rejoin the party. Smiling, I sit down and realize that the table goes completely silent. They were talking about me, it’s pretty obvious and I kind of feel sick at that realization.

Cody looks over to me, his gaze flicking down to my chest, and I watch as he slowly licks his lips before he lifts his eyes up to meet mine. It’s my turn to hold my body tightly, wondering what in the actual fuck he’s going to say next. Maybe I should have had Tenny call me with a fake emergency.

“So, you going back to work next week? Don’t you think it will be hard to take care of the house and the baby?” Cody asks.

I want to ask him what year this is? Are women not allowed to work and have children? I mean, I think that I may want to stay home, but I also don’t know if I want to go back to work. Are these questions and/or answers any of their business?

Clearing my throat, I give him a smile. “I am going back to work. I think it will be a nice thing. I work for Landry, and Tucker will be right next door. I’m not too worried about anything. It’s not as if I’m much of a homemaker anyway. Just ask Laurent. I can’t even cook dinner,” I say with a fake laugh.

“Oh, I order those box meals, usually, they’re so easy,” Melody announces.

Smiling, I try not to be a bitch, I try really hard. I actually bite the side of my tongue, I try so hard. And luckily, I don’t need to do that because Cody gives her a smart-ass reply.

“When you remember to put the cocktail down and cook them, they’re great.”

Laurent shifts in his seat, obviously just as uncomfortable as I am. I try to think of something to say to get us out of this when I’m saved by the sound of a little girl screaming bloody murder. Cody jumps up and runs into the house. I look over at Laurent and decide this is the perfect exit moment.

“Laurent, I think we should go ahead and head out, it’s getting late and we need to put Tucker to bed,” I announce.

Laurent lets out a sigh. “Okay, baby.”

He stands and Melody cranes her head back to look up at him. “He’ll give them some Benadryl, it’s all good, they’ll be out soon,” she says, then she lets out a cackle.

My eyes widen as I look over to Laurent in a silent plea to get the absolute fuck out of here. Laurent doesn’t look to me, but he must sense my urgency to leave because he clears his throat.

“I’m sorry, he’s really a finicky sleeper at night, we need to get him in his crib or he’ll just be a nightmare,” he lies.

It’s a lie too, Tucker will sleep anywhere, anytime, but I don’t correct him because I want to get out of here as soon as possible.

“Do you want some Benadryl?” Melody offers.

I make a noise in the back of my throat, but Laurent speaks. “No, no thank you, we’re good. It was great meeting you. I’ll run and say goodbye to Cody while you get everything together,” Laurent murmurs, turning to me, his eyes wide.

Pressing my lips together, I nod my head once. Then I go about putting everything away, not that I have much out. I just make a show of gathering things.

“You know he won’t be faithful, right?” Melody announces.

I stop touching the diaper bag and look up to her, my eyes wide. “What?” I whisper.

She shrugs a shoulder. “Cody hasn’t been faithful since Olivia was born,” she announces, speaking of her oldest child. “Once you’re no longer fun and full of excitement, when you’re overtired and overworked. When you’re no longer down to fuck wherever and whenever, they look for that elsewhere.”

“You don’t care?” I ask, my heart slamming against my chest, because I know Laurent and he can have anyone. He also has always enjoyed that and broke my heart once because commitment scared him—his feelings scared him.

She shrugs, sucking back her own cocktail. “I do what I want to. See, when I found out, I was angry, but then I realized this is not the age of women taking shit. This is the modern world, so I fuck who I want when the girls are at day care and we just pretend that it’s all good. We’re both getting what we want, one way or another.”

“But if you’re both doing it and it’s not technically an open relationship, why don’t you just do each other?”

I don’t know why I’m entertaining her. I am just so shocked that she’s telling me all her business. She leans forward, her eyes wide, and there’s a sparkle in them.

“The danger is half the fun. The lying, the pretending, the hiding and trying not to get caught. It’s a rush. You ever want to play those games, you let me know. I have a black book of fine dick I rotate.”

Laurent opens the door and I spin around to see him standing there. “You ready, baby?” he asks.

Looking behind me, I give him a smile and nod, then turn back to the car seat and strap Tucker inside before grabbing the diaper bag and throwing it over my shoulder.

“Thank you for a lovely evening. We should do it again sometime,” I lie.

She smiles, her lips curving up, but she’s not looking at me any longer, she’s staring directly at Laurent and my stomach sinks.

“Yes, we really should,” she purrs with a slur. Her voice is even huskier, and I hate the way she looks at him.

“Thank you,” Laurent says as he picks up Tucker.

Together, we practically run out of the house and jump into the car. There is a moment of silence as Laurent heads toward the highway, then he looks over to me.

“We are never doing anything like that again. Family dinners only from now on.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Yes, please,” I breathe.

LAURENT

If hell was a place,it would have been Cody and Melody’s house. If it were a conversation, it would be the entire evening of conversation.

Once we’re home, we bathe Tucker together, Bethie feeds him one last time and then we put him to bed together. Both of us let out a sigh as we fall back on the bed next to one another.

Turning to look at her, she does the same and I try to give her a smile, but I fail. She gives me a shaky one.

“What was Melody talking to you about outside?” I ask.

Bethie doesn’t say anything right away, then when she does, her words are barely above a whisper and I don’t understand why she seems almost sad about it, as if any of it personally affects her.

“Melody was telling me that they both cheat on one another,” she says.

Turning to my side, I rest my head in my hand and reach out, sliding the backs of my knuckles down her cheek. “And you’re sad because you think that’ll be us?” I ask.

She doesn’t say anything right away, which tells me that she does think that. She thinks that I’m going to cheat on her eventually. Not today, not tomorrow, but eventually. I don’t blame her for thinking that, either. I don’t have any kind of track record to go by, just the desire not to be like my mother.

“I don’t know what I think,” she admits.

Licking my lips, I wrap my fingers around the back of her neck and gently pull her closer to me. Shifting closer to her, I touch my mouth to hers, but I don’t deepen the kiss. Instead, I just taste her, sliding my tongue along her bottom lip before I break the kiss.

“Don’t think, Bethie. Our life is not theirs, and theirs is not ours. There is no reason to get upset over things that aren’t ever going to happen.”

She doesn’t say anything right away. Her eyes focus on mine, searching mine for something, but I’m not sure what. I don’t interrupt her quest though. Instead, I wait for her to gather herself. She’s worried, I get that. I’m not trustworthy or reliable yet, but I will be.

“I think it’s time for me to go back to my apartment,” she says.

My entire body tenses and I instantly frown. My heart squeezes and I stare at her in silence, then her eyes widen and her lips slowly curve up into a small smile.

“To pack and turn in my notice that I’ve moved out.”

Blinking, my own mouth turns up into a smile and I know that she sees the relief on my face. “You sure? I’ll pay your rent if that’s the problem. I want you to feel comfortable,” I say, sounding like the fucking pussy that I am for her.

Bethie shakes her head, then she lifts her hand and cups my cheek. I feel her thumb slide across my bottom lip. Her eyes follow the path and I want to nip the pad of her thumb, but I don’t.

This feels like a moment that she needs, so I let her just do what she needs, say what she needs—feel what she needs.

“I’m sure, Laurent. Seeing them, watching how they are, it made me realize something.”

I hum, turning my head to touch my lips to her palm. Her breath hitches, then she continues, her words coming out a little slower as if she’s carefully plucking each one out of her mind to ensure that it’s a perfect explanation of her realization.

“I love you. It doesn’t matter what that love entails, but I love you. There can’t be a place for me to run away to when something doesn’t work. There is just you, me, and Tucker now. If it crashes and burns, then that’s what this does. But I’m not going to have a safety net, a just in case, a second lover hidden away because I’m not happy. There is just us and we are the ones that have to make this life the best that it can be.”

Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her in close to me, but I don’t respond with words. Instead, I show her just what her words mean to me. I make love to her slowly, taking my time more time than I’ve ever taken before and by the time we’re finished, there is no doubt between us that this is right—we are right.