The Blush Factor by Deborah Bladon
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Faith
“Someone took a long one last night.”
I turn to look at Gwynn. “A long one? Like a bath?”
She giggles. “More like a cock. You’re glowing, Faith. You finally had some fucking fun, didn’t you?”
I stare at her.
“I mean it literally,” she points out. “You fucked someone and had a hell of a good time doing it.”
Technically, Matthew fucked me with his fingers and his mouth. I lost track of how many times, but I do know that before he left my apartment this morning, I wanted to go down on him.
That didn’t happen because I caught a glance of the time on the old alarm clock.
I jumped out of bed, ran to the shower, and by the time I was done, Matthew was at my door with his sweatpants on.
He had to go to work. I had school, so we parted with a tender kiss and a promise to see each other tonight.
Tonight. It’s the night I lose my virginity.
“Who is it?” Gwynn bounces her eyebrows. “I know it’s not Rich because I was with him. He quit school, Faith. Can you believe it?”
I’m not sure how this conversation jumped from my sex life to her cousin, but I’m grateful for the leap.
I didn’t want to talk about Matthew with her.
She thinks he’s fucking Professor Stein, and for now, I want to keep my relationship with him a secret.
I have no idea how long it will last.
I try not to think about that too much.
“He didn’t want to be a doctor,” I say.
She doesn’t notice that I didn’t form that as a question but rather a statement. “Everyone in our family is in medicine. No one has ever walked away from it. I can’t believe he did.”
I rest my elbow on the table we’re sitting at. “Are you studying medicine because your family expects you to?”
Her eyes widen. “It’s what Rochesters do, Faith.”
“It’s what other Rochesters do,” I correct her. “What do you want to do?”
Immediately, I can tell she’s uncomfortable. “I want to make my family happy.”
I know that feeling. My parents have always told my sisters and me to take the path that will make them proud.
I’m fortunate in that my path to become a doctor has made them proud.
“What would make you happy?” I question.
She picks up the half a cheeseburger that I set on her plate.
Today’s cheat meal was my choice, so I dragged her to Crispy Biscuit after our last class of the day. They make an incredible cheeseburger at this diner, so I ordered one for us to share, along with a side salad.
Gwynn laughed when she saw the greens but thanked me for adding something healthy to her diet.
Before taking a bite, she sets the cheeseburger down. “This stays between us, Faith.”
I look around the crowded diner. I doubt anyone can hear us, but I mime locking my lips and tossing the key away. “You have my word, Gwynn. I won’t tell a soul.”
Pushing the plate in front of her to the side, she leans forward on the table. “Sometimes, I think about being a lawyer.”
The corners of my lips edge up toward a grin. “You’d make a great lawyer.”
Her eyes brighten. “Do you really think so?”
“You’re strong and committed,” I begin before I pause. “You’d fight the good fight. I know you would.”
She leans back in her chair. “It’s never going to happen.”
“Why not?”
She lets out a bitter laugh. “Rich is going home to tell his folks that he doesn’t want to be a doctor. His dad and my dad are brothers. They’re both doctors. It’s only a matter of time before my dad or my uncle calls to tell me what a disappointment Rich is.”
“There’s strength in numbers,” I tell her. “Maybe if you stand shoulder-to-shoulder with him and speak your truth too, they’ll see that their kids can forge their own paths.”
She smiles. “I love how innocent you are, Faith. You see the best in everyone, but that’s not how life works. My destiny is to be a doctor. There’s nothing I can do to change it.”
“I’m not innocent,” I blurt out.
“You are.” She pats my hand with hers. “You think the world is a place where everyone’s dreams can come true, and love conquers all.”
Speechless, I stare at her.
“You have a lot to learn.” She tilts her head. “I do too, but one thing I know for sure is that we don’t always get what we want regardless of how desperately we crave it.”
