Sinful Kisses by Emily Bowie
CHAPTER 19
When I wake up, Romeo has me pulled tight against him. I try not to giggle at the two extremes he shows me.
“You keep giggling and I’m going to put that mouth to better use,” he says with his eyes closed.
I shouldn’t have a smile on my face, but it’s there. Sighing, I inhale him. It reminds me of protection. That’s how I feel with him—protected. Is it wrong that I don’t want to go back to my old life? What if I never told anyone my memories came back? What if this, here, could be my new reality?
I once believed I had the best life. Ignorantly, I put my sisters down because I thought my life was better than theirs. If only they knew the truth. I would come off as a condescending bitch who only thought of herself. My head was honestly in the clouds.
“You keep wiggling like that, and I’m going to claim you again.”
The thought is tempting, and I wiggle my backside into his hard morning wood.
“No one wants to hear you two again. I had to put earplugs in,” Max yells from the hallway.
“Is that a challenge?” Romeo hollers back.
I take advantage of him being distracted and slip out of bed. My body aches in places it never had before. I can feel where his fingers gripped my hips.
“All right, chores it is. Until I can figure out where to bury my brother,” Romeo grumbles.
I think he’s joking. I can’t tell by his facial features. “You keep staring at me like that, and you’re going to put him in the grave before breakfast.”
His words should horrify me and definitely not turn me on.
“Gia.” His voice is strained, and I quickly get dressed. After all, Max is my friend. I’d hate to lose one of the only two people around me. “Smart girl.”
I blush under his praise. Chores, I need to remind myself.
“Don’t forget to put your hair in a ponytail.” I hear his voice right before I can feel him behind me. His hand delicately touches my neck and gives my hair a soft pull. “After all, I know how much you like it when I boss you around.” Warm, hot breath floats over my earlobe.
I must really value Max’s friendship, because it’s taking all my willpower to not say fuck it and jump Romeo right now. The urge to flip him off with both my middle fingers runs through me. But he’d like that, and he’d jump me.
I go to sit in the sun on the porch. The rays hit me in the face, its warmth refreshing.
“Change of plans,” Max calls from inside just as he and Romeo stroll out. Max isn’t in his typical “I’m heading into the butcher shop” clothes. He heads past us and toward the car. My stomach drops. I don’t want to be left alone here. Disappointment clings to my skin in a wet, clammy sensation.
“No problem. I’ll hold down the fort.” I try to smile, even if it’s strained.
Romeo cocks an amused eyebrow at me, his lips static with no expression. I stand, brushing off my pants, but nothing is on them. I can feel him staring at me, and I can’t meet his gaze.
“I’m not leaving you, Gia.” His words seem to have a double meaning. “I need to head into town to do some business. You’re coming with.”
I look over at the farm, thinking about the chores we would have to do when we return.
“Max went out and fed the pigs late last night.” I know he didn’t go feed them like we normally do. The thought is chilling. He gives me a look that says there will be no questions.
Not that I listen. “What are we doing in town?”
“I have a quick meeting.”
I climb into the back as Romeo slides the seat forward. “What type of meetings do pig farmers have?” I ask innocently. I wonder if I’m pushing my luck. Max eyes me curiously.
“Feed meeting.” Max turns his head, so I can’t see the way he’s fighting off his own inside joke. But I caught it. Romeo only grunts. The more time I’ve spent with the brothers, the more they let their guard down around me. They seem almost trustful. In this life, you can never trust anyone.
Now that I remember who I am, and who they are, I can’t help but wonder—what’s their angle? Our two families have always hated each other. I watch Romeo and Max glance at each other, having a silent conversation. To be honest, I’m jealous of the fact that they have that ability. I love my sisters, but we were never able to do that whole read each other’s mind thing. If we had, maybe Katrina would still be here.
I shake my head, refusing to think about that now. I need a night alone with a bottle of something strong before my mind gets to dig deep into my soul. The car is warm inside, even with the wind blowing through the open windows. I take a deep breath, and I can no longer recognize the horrible smells I had when I first woke up here. It’s like I’ve become immune to them.
My dark hair flies around, hitting me in the face. The sun is shining brightly. I shift my weight, but there’s no escaping the dry air pushing back against me. Max turns up the radio. The sounds drift out of the car. The music is loud enough to drown out my thoughts. Closing my eyes, I allow the movement of the car to rock me.
When I open my eyes again, I’m alone in the car. The windows are rolled up, and the air conditioning is on full-blast. Goose bumps pepper my skin, and I look around. We’re parked in a back alley, and I see one door propped open with a rock. I don’t recognize the area.
I rub my arms with my hands before unbuckling and leaning through the middle to turn down the cold air. The car is silent. It’s the first real silence I’ve heard in over a month. Even the outside world’s sounds are eliminated from here.
My mind goes to the party.
My sister.
Katrina.
My hand rubs at my chest, the pain increasing. She’s gone because I gave her that stupid needle. My lips tremble as I blow out a breath. It feels like I’m being hit with a tsunami of emotions, and they’re crashing down the walls I built. Like sand, they crumble and dissolve, leaving me in a quake of swarming guilt and grief. Suddenly, I’m hot. Sweat coats my skin. Gut-wrenching pain has me hugging my knees as I cry. It’s a loud, throat-cutting sob. My body falls to the seat, and I close my eyes, wishing this all away. I want to go back to not remembering. At least then I didn’t hurt. Back then, hope flowed in my veins rather than this hard, piercing feeling. It hardens my heart in a way I’ve never felt. With each beat, my disgust with myself infects more of me.
La famiglia protegge la famiglia. Family protects family. It’s what my father has always said.
I couldn’t even do that. I tossed my sister the needle without care. What hurts the most is knowing there was a small part of me that hoped she would overdose. I wanted her to hurt like me, and I thought that would show her how I felt. I was horribly wrong.
The feelings are not the same. I want to take back that horrific split-second thought. It pains me I was so selfish I would ever consider hurting her. I lay on my side until I can’t breathe anymore.
My entire world is crashing down on me. Crawling over the console, I open the front door, trying to breathe in the fresh air. I gasp, the oxygen feeling more like sharp blades as I inhale it.
The door swings open, and I fall to my hands as I crawl out of the car. Pebbles stick into my palms. I hear cars in the distance as I brush my hands off on my legs before I fold myself over. My arms wrap around my legs, and I squeeze my eyes closed. Tears leak from under my lashes. I take a few moments before I’m able to breathe, feeling like my air is being stolen away from me.
Slowly, I untangle myself from my knees and stand. My feet shuffle in a circle, taking in our location. What the hell am I doing? The deep, sinking realization that I’m lost in my life swirls around me. I don’t know which way to turn. Where to go. I don’t know who I am anymore. I had always identified as being Nicoli’s daughter who was marrying Alfonso. Only now, I’m realizing I never had my own identity.
My fingers lace through my hair, wrapping it up into a ponytail before letting it fall to my shoulders.
“Well, well… who do we have here?”
A chill slithers down my spine, and I slowly spin toward the voice. A man who looks to be in his thirties is standing before me in a suit. His eyes light up, but he tries to control it. He knows who I am. It’s written all over his face.
“You headed in there?” I ignore his question, giving a strained smile. “A girl like you shouldn’t be out here alone.” His tongue swipes over his top teeth, and I hold my urge to step back. With predator stealth, he moves forward. “You by yourself, Gia?” he asks, confirming he knows who I am. “Your family is pretty worried about you.”
Is this him doing good cop right now?“I would think a man like yourself wouldn’t bother with gossip, troubling yourself with a woman’s pastime.” I smile. Old me would never dream to say something like this. I would think it but never say the words aloud.
He chuckles. “Your family is no concern to me.” His eyes shift around our surroundings.
I take a step back, ready to retreat to the car. The smile on his face grows. Within half a second, he has me pinned against the car, his hand tight on my throat. My heart pounds with the realization that no one is nearby. Other than Romeo and his brother, no one knows where I am.
“You, on the other hand….” He leers at me, his eyes radiating evil.
“Let her go.” Romeo’s bored voice has my body relaxing in relief one second while my breath is cut off the next. My hands grab hold of the man’s, my fingernails clawing into his flesh as I struggle for air.
“Is this what you’ve been hiding, cousin?” The man looks away from me to Romeo. “I can’t decide if you’re a genius or really fucking stupid.”
“I won’t repeat myself.” Romeo’s voice hardens with a dark edge.
“This is not the time to decide to grow up, baby Romeo,” the man taunts. His grip softens, and I’m able to take a deep breath before pressure returns.
My full attention is on the man. My fingers hurt from clawing at him, and my fight weakens as I become lightheaded.
The same moment I’m dropped to the ground is the same time gunfire echoes around us. I’m blasted with warm liquid across my face.
“Breathe, Gia.” Romeo is kneeling in front of me. His presence surrounds me even though my eyes are closed tight. A soft material brushes over my face. Calloused fingertips glide over my hands.
Suddenly, my airways open, and I heave for oxygen. I can’t get enough in. “In through your mouth, out through your nose,” I’m directed.
His voice is soft yet demanding. As I get my breathing under control, I open my eyes. Romeo’s concern stares right back at me.
“Are you okay?” His hand goes from mine to tenderly touching my sore neck.
There was zero hesitation in shooting his cousin. The act confuses me. Cosa Nostra comes first. Blood over water. I should be so far down on the list it makes my stomach sick.
“You shot your cousin,” I state, still dumbfounded.
“That will be a lesson to anyone who touches what’s mine.” Dark venom laces his tone, and a shiver shoots right between my legs. No one has ever placed me first before. Our eyes stay watching each other. I should break the contact, remind myself of who I am. His pupils dilate, displaying warmth that heats me from the inside out. I swallow.
He doesn’t shy away, moving closer. We’re so close his nose brushes down my face. I deserve to be with someone like Romeo. But not this version. He’s too sweet. It should have been his hands around my neck.
He’s locked away, banished, because my family killed his father. There should be hate in his eyes, not compassion. Being with me will only cast a dark cloud over him. Everyone around me ends up hurting one way or another. If Romeo keeps me, nothing good will come to him.
“Why do you keep kissing me? We both know I should have been tossed to the pigs,” I sigh out. My voice is barely a whisper, and my eyes draw down, unable to match his gaze anymore.
“Your memory is back.” His words scoff with irritation. It has a way of digging into my heart and squeezing. Warmth no longer vibrates between us, and hatred fills his eyes.