Sinful Kisses by Emily Bowie

CHAPTER 30

Her features shine with uncertainty. Fuck, is she still thinking about Alfonso? Did I force her hand in choosing me? I learned from an early age that love and acceptance are conditional. Is it all an act until she is away from me?

Everything has a price tag in life. I’m willing to pay the price for her. Can she say the same thing, though? It won’t be long now. Her family knows where she’s been hiding.

“I love you,” I tell her once more. She gives me a gorgeous smile.

For the first time in my life, I’m doing what feels right. Not what is loyal or needed to be accepted. I’m paving my own way. And it has nothing to do with the mafia, but because of the girl who sits here.

The temperature in the house attacks my skin, feeling like it’s gone up twenty degrees since we stepped in. My phone goes off in my pocket.

Max:Be home tonight. My area better be clean.

“I need to clean up Alfonso’s mess.” I take a step back. I want to say something else to her, but the words won’t come.

“What of my family?”

I shrug, trying to hide the anger I have from the past. “They now know I’m serious.”

“My father will retaliate.” Her eyes are large with concern.

“You’re worth it, and it’s about time he and I squared away our differences.” It’s time people realize the Mancini brothers refuse to be silenced.

“He’s going to want to murder you.”

Every muscle tenses, the familiar buzz of adrenaline surges through me. “Not if I do it first.”

When I leave the house, I close the door and stand there looking out over the farm. Her tiny, muffled sobs leak through the door. She’s loyal to a fault. That thought prickles into my heart like a thorn. It digs in, hurting my chest.

I stay outside,not wanting to see her cry for people who wouldn’t think twice about killing me. The evening is comfortable, it’s darkness soothing. There’s never silence around here. There’s always an animal on alert in some form or another.

Max’s headlights shine into the yard before he cuts his engine. “Are the rumors true?” he asks, circling his keys on his finger as he walks toward me.

The cold beer in my hand is now warm, its lid not cracked yet. When I drink, I do it to forget. I don’t want to forget anymore. I look up. “Which rumor would that be?”

“We’re going to war with both families.”

Fuck. It’s worse than I thought. My shoulders tense, my muscles pinching. Gia is worth it. The idea clings to my soul.

“You may have just united Texas for the first time in a generation.” He sits down with a smile, looking unconcerned that we’re walking dead men.

“That doesn’t bother you, brother?”

“I’m still too young to care about life. I look forward to the fight. Think what it will do to my already growing reputation if we win.” He pauses, imagining his world. “Pussy and money for life.” He slaps my leg.

“What should we do?” I blow out a breath.

“Do you love her?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Give her back. Make some deal with Nicoli that makes him look like the big man.”

“My pride will never allow me to give her to him. Alfonso wins if I do that.”

“Then we fight.”

I rake my hand down my face. My ears are on high alert, waiting for the sound of gravel being crushed under tires. It would be our only warning that death is coming to our doorstep.

“Tell me. Did you take notice of her the day Alfonso told you to keep your eyes off her?”

I chuckle. I noticed her before that. But that’s when I knew I had a problem, and people were noticing. It’s why I began making that list about her.

“I always hated that fucker.” He had the girl and flaunted it. The jealousy that runs through me is alarming, and my fists clench. “It was just a matter of time before I proved to him I could get anyone I wanted. Including what belongs to him. It took me less than two months to have her yelling my name. No bookie would have ever taken this bet.” Not even me. I always thought she was better than me. Gia is like the Holy Grail of women, and I’m one lucky bastard.

“Trust me, with this move, you have everyone’s eyes on you. Smart move. If we live.”

“Gia is the key. Without her, we’d be stuck here forever.” And I would have never realized what it’s like to love someone. She’s it for me.

Romeo walks outof the house. It feels like he’s starting to detach himself. I heard him telling me he loved me, but his body seemed to move away. Now, listening to him and Max has me realizing that I’ve only been a prize.

That’s all I’ve ever been in life. I was the captain of the cheer squad. I was the school prize for winning nationals. Girls would do anything to sit with me. Not because they wanted to be friends, but they wanted to sit with the captain.

I was Alfonso’s prize. He got a girl on his arm, and not any girl. Nicoli’s daughter. I was his ticket to covering up the lie he had been living.

Now, Romeo. I was his prize to level up. He’s using me to advance himself.

No one cares about the person inside me. Everyone needs something from me. They take and take until they can move me to the side.

The old me would have allowed it. Not anymore. I’m no one’s doormat. If Romeo wants a war, he’ll get one. But he’s going to have to win it without the leverage of me.

My heart sinks, realizing Romeo never saw me. He’s a taker like everyone else. The problem is givers get discarded each time. I’m tired of being pushed to the side. Not this time.

It’s time I learn to stop giving my heart away.

Slowly, I step away from the door, going back to our bedroom. A new bed sits in the middle, like my little tantrum never happened. I slip into bed, closing my eyes, listening for Romeo.

An hour later, he comes to bed, pulling me closer to him. He holds me in his arms. I don’t move, pretending to be asleep until his breathing evens out. Only when I’m sure he’s asleep do I cautiously roll out of his embrace.

Going into his pants pocket, I grab his phone. Its weight is heavy in my hands. Quickly, I call my sister, Luna.

“Hello?” Her voice is groggy from me waking her.

“It’s me,” I whisper.

“Gia. Everyone is worried sick about you.”

“Is Alfonso okay?” I need to know if my best friend made it home alive.

“The real question is, are you all right? Alfonso told everyone that Romeo has brainwashed you. Are you hurt?”

I hear a throat clearing, then the click of a safety on a gun. My eyes slowly move from the floor to Max. His hand motions for me to give him the phone. I pull it from my ear and hang up on my sister’s voice.

“It’s not what it looks like,” I say lowly, hoping not to wake up Romeo. He steps closer and steals the phone from my hands.

He motions for me to follow him. My teeth bite down on my bottom lip as I look toward Romeo, then at Max. Begrudgingly, I follow.

When we get to the kitchen/living room area, I stop, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Who were you calling?”

“My sister.” I sigh.

“Do you know what Romeo’s putting on the line right now?” I don’t say anything. I miss my family. I’m confused, and my heart can’t help but beat for Romeo. Max continues, “The plan all along was to make a deal with your father, so Coy would see we have potential. You would go back to your family unharmed if they agreed to his terms. Then Romeo and I get promotions. We gain more respect. Romeo has gained respect and a following. He’s about to get his promotion to Captain. The problem is, he doesn’t want to let you go now. He hasn’t reached out to your father, even though the whole bloody world knows you’re here now.”

I scoff. “If they knew I was here, I wouldn’t be here anymore.”

“That’s part of my point, Gia. They’re not here yet. When they come, it’s going to be a bloodbath. One I don’t feel confident in winning.”

“You just told me that you have respect and men.”

“No, I said we have been gaining some. So yes, it’s true we have men. But they’re not loyal to him—yet. They respect him. There’s a difference. No man, especially Coy, will follow us in this. That leaves Romeo and me fighting your family. Not only that, but Romeo will fight for you. He will protect you. Making it a suicide mission for him.”

“Maybe you need to have more confidence in your brother.”

“Maybe you need to stop being selfish. If you like him even a little.”

“I love him.”

“Then let him go.”

“I don’t understand what you want me to do. I’m stuck here. I was calling my sister. I could have asked her to come get me. You stopped that.” He runs a hand through his hair. I can’t help but notice the specks of blood on them.

“You need him to think you don’t love him. You need to betray his trust and choose your family.” My stomach bottoms out and starts to hurt. The ache is deep, like rocks keep being added to the pile. “You and I need to be ready for them. We both need to protect him. He’s about to get the promotion he deserves. He’s getting Captain. No one gets it this young. He’s on track for taking over one day.”

“He can’t do that with me?”

He levels me with a look. “We both know your father will never allow one of you to ever be with one of us. Our fathers’ hate for one another went deeper than most know. Romeo’s only way to avenge our family name is to rise from the ashes. He can’t do that if he’s dead.”

My hands run down my arms, which suddenly have goose bumps.

“Romeo can’t prove himself if he’s choosing the enemy’s daughter, Gia.”

“I’m not the enemy,” I whisper.

“Maybe. But it doesn’t look that way to anyone else.”

I look toward the kitchen window and its vast darkness. Slowly, that darkness seeps into me. I can’t smile. My eyes fight against the wetness that wants to invade.

“He’ll never forgive me.”

“Would you rather a dead man’s forgiveness?”

I swallow the lump that threatens to choke me.

“What if I make my family see?”

“Your brother and Coy have made a secret pact with each other. It will make both of them stronger once their fathers are no longer running the show.”

Nausea worms its way into me.

“Gia, you’re a girl who needs her family. You will never be completely happy if you have to cut them out of your life.”

I hate that every word he says makes sense. It tastes bitter, thinking about it. Romeo will never forgive me.

I know my brother and father. They won’t hesitate to kill either of them. My eyes go back to Max’s. They hold a new sincerity to them. Max would go to war with Romeo in a heartbeat. He would be prepared to die on any hill Romeo deemed worthy. He knows that hill is me unless I do something about it.

“I’m saying this as your friend,” he says solemnly, a sad frown creasing his face.

I believe he has no ulterior motive other than wanting to protect his brother. “They say you’re the vicious one with no soul.”

He laughs, breaking some of the tension surrounding us. “That’s why I have to steal other’s. I’m constantly looking for a new one.”

“I’ll do what you’re asking,” I concede. My heart stutters at my words. My legs and hands feel numb. My heart is no longer pounding. It’s like it stopped, knowing the extra work is pointless. That no matter how hard it works, in the end, I will break Romeo. The act itself will undoubtedly break me.

Even with Alfonso, I never felt broken. I never felt betrayed. I was more upset over the fact that my preplanned life was not going how everyone told me it would. That seems like a lifetime ago. Now, I feel foolish for never realizing what he and I had was never romantic. It was love. Like how I love my sisters and brother. If it was more, I would have never cared more about my image and trying to figure out how to get the life I planned in one way. Alfonso was replaceable.

I walk back to the bedroom. I stand there, watching Romeo sleep. My heart can’t replace him. It wants me to fight. The old me would have fought out of selfishness, wanting to keep him. He looks peaceful sleeping. I’m doing this for us. Maybe one day he will see it that way. Fat chance. Because he will never know of the sacrifice I’m about to make.

I slip into bed. I hold him close. His scent washes over me, lulling my mind as I fight for sleep to take over.

Gia eases myhand off her smooth skin and rolls away from me. I wake up the instant she moves. What is she up to? I keep my eyes closed, listening to each of her movements.

Her voice is barely audible, but there’s no denying she’s asking someone about Alfonso. I wish I shot him. I’m trying to prove to her I love her. Each of my actions is to show her she can trust me. She responds better when I force her to see things my way.

My fingers crunch the bedsheet that I want to tie her up with. I’m a second away from tossing her back into bed when I hear the gun and know my brother is near.

Emotionally drained, I allow him to deal with her. They have a friendship I don’t understand. If I get up now, I may regret the decisions I make.