Heart of a Lion by Lacey Thorn

Chapter Twelve

Quinn was hollow. She snuggled Emery closer, finding comfort in him the way she had when he’d been growing inside her. She was still in the bedroom at Tony’s farmhouse where Mitch had joined her. They’d spent the last few days barely leaving it, and guilt ate at her for that, as well. She’d slept and fallen deeper in love with Mitch while others had spent the time pacing the floors, waiting for news on their loved ones.

Tah and Gabriel were holding their own, though neither man was awake. Both of their respective mates refused to leave their sides. From what Quinn understood, both men were in induced comas to give their bodies time to heal. According to Tony, it would be a few more days before they were allowed to wake.

Professor Mueller hadn’t regained consciousness, either. He’d coded several times while they’d worked to stabilize him. Tony had sent in Drake, who’d been a trauma surgeon before he’d joined their teams. The man was the best of the best, and it was only due to his skill that Mueller had made it out of surgery. When the professor’s daughter and her four mates had arrived within hours after the attack, Jess had taken over her father’s care. Though not awake, he was currently stable. His coma hadn’t been induced, and none of them had any idea when or even if he’d wake up. No one said that in Jess’ presence, though.

Then there was Vic. She’d coded so many times they’d lost count. No one would give up on her, though. Gideon refused to leave her room. Tony said he honestly thought her mate was the only thing keeping Vic with them. She wouldn’t leave him. More than one shifter had claimed if they lost Vic, they’d lose Gideon, too. He’d never recover. He’d preferred to travel alone before he met her and joined the pride she called home. If he lost her, there was no telling what he’d do.

And the entire pride held their breaths. It was like a vigil minus the candles. And still Quinn hadn’t ventured out to see anyone. She admitted to herself it was fear as much as anything else. She was to blame. No matter what logic Mitch tried to use to spin things around. This fight, this blood bath, could be placed exclusively at her feet. She’d been the catalyst who set everything in motion. Knowing that twisted her up inside. She was close to breaking. She knew it and fought it with all she had.

“Knock, knock.”

Quinn glanced over to see Reno’s mate, Amia, in the doorway. She shouldered open the door and entered, carrying a tray of food.

“Wasn’t sure if you’d eaten yet today.”

“Not yet,” Quinn admitted, eyeing the other woman warily. She’d rarely spoken to Amia, other than passing pleasantries, so why was she at Tony’s checking on Quinn?

Mitch had slipped from the bed they’d shared some time in the early hours of the morning. He’d spooned her throughout the night, holding her close against his body, one arm draped over her hip while the other had been slipped under her pillow, his hand holding hers as they’d slept. She’d tried to use him the first night, and he’d called her out on it. She hadn’t expected it, and she should have. From the moment they’d met, he’d stepped in and taken care of her. He saw through every shield she threw up and stayed. He stayed. She was afraid to read into that but he’d gone and told her they’d make love soon. Now, that was churning in her mind with a bunch of other things, making her feel guilty for how he made her feel.

“I could hold him for you while you eat?”

Amia’s offer brought Quinn out of her thoughts. Hell, she spent far too much time in her head as it was. And why was Amia checking on her? Shouldn’t she be with Abby and Reno keeping watch over Tah?

“Why are you here?”

Social niceties had escaped her long ago.

“Reno’s with Abby who refuses to leave Tah’s room. Kenzie and Laura are with Gabriel and both Logan and Daniel are sticking close also. Jess and her mates have surrounded Professor Mueller, completely taking over his care. And there are way too many people in and out of Vic’s room checking on both her and Gideon.” Amia shrugged as her gaze bounced around the room. “I’ve never been good at intense situations. I tend to lockdown emotionally.”

“Join the club,” Quinn quipped.

“Great club, huh.”

“Be careful with his head.” Quinn passed her son to an unsuspecting Amia. She might have offered to hold the baby, but she’d obviously not imagined Quinn would agree. “You brought the food. It smells good so I’m eating.”

Amia took Emery and cuddled him against her chest, dropping her head to breathe him in. Quinn understood that. She’d done it since she’d woken up.

“He’s so little and so strong all at the same time. I can’t believe he’s premature.”

“Have you ever seen a premature shifter baby?” Quinn asked.

“No,” Amia admitted.

“Me either, so as far as I’m concerned he’s perfectly normal.” Or as normal as he could be given the circumstances of his conception and birth.

“Did you cook this?” Quinn hadn’t realized how starved she was until the first bite of bacon and eggs hit her tastebuds.

“Thankfully, no, or you wouldn’t have that look of bliss on your face. You’d be gagging and trying not to hurl, wondering how the hell someone could screw up eggs, which, believe me, I can. It’s a serious skill.”

“I can’t cook, either. Never really learned how. Then…”

She paused as everything came back to her. Her mother had died. Her world had turned upside down, sending her on a crash course with Victor Talbot, becoming his lab rat. Then she’d found her way back home only to bring down hell on those trying to help her. Life could be cruel and unfair.

“It wasn’t your fault. I hope you know that.”

Only, it was and they both knew it. The food Quinn had managed to swallow felt like dust in her throat, heavy in her belly, and she fought the desire to lean over and purge it all onto the floor.

“I met Reno when I saved him from a group of Blane hunters. My father’s men. They had Reno hanging on a wall, beaten and bloody. Still, he took my breath away. Even then, he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. I fought him every step of the way when he dragged me with him back to Colorado. I was convinced I was going to get them all killed.”

“Obviously, you didn’t,” Quinn pointed out.

Amia swayed on her feet, rocking Emery back and forth in her arms.

“No, I didn’t. My father spent years torturing me. Letting me make a friend then stepping in and cutting them down in front of me just to show me he could. He beat me, cut me…” She paused, swallowing as she stared intently at Emery. “Buried me alive. Again and again and again. He made my life hell. Then I met Reno. To hear him tell it, I saved his life, but the truth is, he saved mine. He still does. Every day. The way he looks at me, loves me. I’ve only ever been truly alive since I met him.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Amia shrugged again. “Because you remind me of me. Isolated. Afraid to open up, to trust in anyone or anything because I’d been let down and betrayed so many times. Conditioned. That’s what I was. Conditioned by my father. The way you’ve been conditioned by Talbot.”

She eased a sleeping Emery back into the basket then sat beside Quinn on the bed.

“They don’t get to win, Quinn. Or be in control any longer.”

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Quinn admitted.

“I want you to get angry. To stop letting Talbot and his words take up space in your head. I want you to start demanding answers. None of the others can get through to Talbot, but I think you can. I think he’s been waiting for you.”

“If he has, it’s because he has his own agenda. I promise you that.” Quinn had no doubt about it.

“Then meet him head-on with an agenda of your own. Don’t keep playing his game. Force him to play yours.”

“What does this have to do with you?” Quinn asked, knowing there had to be a reason Amia was bringing it up.

“I’m going to speak to him with you.”

“I don’t see your mate letting that happen.”

“I love Reno, but he doesn’t get to make my choices for me. This is something I need to do. I didn’t lead hunters to Colorado, but they nearly killed my mate’s sister before he even knew she existed. All to get to me. To draw me out. Daniel nearly lost his life. And Murphy disappeared. That’s the sea I’m sailing on so I know how heavy the guilt can weigh you down. I feel it every day that passes with us having no idea where Murphy is. See it when I look at Finn’s face, a face I’m ecstatic to see because he almost died because of me, as well. The thought of what my father and his ilk could be doing to Murphy right now… It guts me.”

Amia’s face was pale, her eyes huge as she took Quinn’s hands and squeezed. “You’re his crowning glory. I’m Marcus Blane’s daughter. The two of us together? He won’t be able to help himself. He’ll talk. I know he will.”

That was what Quinn was afraid of. That Talbot would start talking and say things she didn’t want to hear, things that couldn’t be taken back once they were said. She was also worried that he wouldn’t. That he’d never tell her everything he’d done to her. What he had done to Emery. Then somewhere down the line, they’d be hit with a surprise that would tear them apart.

How did she fight what she didn’t know? How did she prepare her son for anything when she had no idea what the future held for either of them? Yet how did she say no to the unlikeliest of allies? She didn’t. She couldn’t. Because as much as she feared them, she needed those answers. Her son needed those answers. And if she was going to pursue any type of normal relationship with Mitch, he needed those answers, too.

“I do want answers. There are things I need to know. But I can have that conversation with him on my own. Why do you want to be a part of it? And don’t use the guilt thing. You know I get that better than anyone, but I can’t help wondering if there’s something more to this.”

Amia stood and paced the room. Her gaze flicked repeatedly toward Emery, and at first, Quinn thought it was just a cursory check on the baby. But it wasn’t. There was more to it, a longing Quinn hadn’t noted at first. Amia wasn’t anxious to hold Emery. She’d been anxious because he was something she longed for. It made sense, too. Both Abby and Diane had babies. Then Darby and her mate had joined the pride and had twins. Now both Laura and Kenzie were expecting while Amia and Reno still hadn’t been blessed with a baby.

“Do you think he did something to you?”

Amia froze at Quinn’s question, and her lids closed over her eyes, locking away the agony Quinn had glimpsed in the other woman’s gaze.

“My father had Talbot plant a tracking device in my shoulder. They found it when Reno took me to Colorado. Looking back, there were several times when Talbot was there. I’d be dragged back, drugged, then…buried while they decided what to do with me.”

Quinn felt guilty for asking the other woman to bare her soul when she wasn’t willing to do the same. It was hypocritical.

“I’m sorry, Amia. You don’t have to share this with me. I shouldn’t have asked.”

The other woman finally looked at Quinn, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

“I need to know if Talbot did anything to prevent me from conceiving or carrying a child. I don’t know if you know this, but Laura is missing an ovary. It was taken from her when she was captured briefly. She didn’t know until Diane and Gideon discovered it. It made me wonder what could have been done to me that I don’t know about.”

“Talbot enjoys taking reproductive organs. He likes playing God by both creating and destroying. It’s possible if he was there, that he did something. Why haven’t you asked Diane or Gideon or hell, even Tony or Jensen Holloway to take a look for you? Even Tony’s man, Drake, would take a look for you and not say a word to anyone. Why carry the worry when you could know one way or another?”

“Because what if there’s nothing wrong with me? What if the truth is, nature has decided I’m simply unworthy of carrying Reno’s child?” The tears fell from Amia’s eyes, streaking down her face. “How do I deal with that?”

Quinn couldn’t hold herself away any longer. She stood and crossed to Amia, knowing she’d do anything to help the other woman. As Amia clung to her and cried, Quinn realized something else. Amia had chosen her to confide in, and she wouldn’t let her down. They’d get their answers.

“I’m in,” she whispered then pulled back until she could meet Amia’s gaze. “What do you have in mind?”