Heart of a Lion by Lacey Thorn
Chapter One
Quinn wrapped her arms around her middle and tucked herself firmly into the shadows in the corner of the room. The last thing she wanted was to draw attention to herself, but lately, that was all she seemed capable of. Everywhere she went, gazes followed her. The fact they were friendly did nothing to soothe her. Even back home in Riverton, Oklahoma, she was still the freak everyone watched. The shifters surrounding her tried their best to hide it, but she saw the questions in their sympathetic gazes. Sympathy she didn’t deserve.
A hard palm grazed the small of her back before settling against her. Instinct had her stiffening under the touch, but as his scent filled her senses, she leaned into him, finding comfort in the one man whose touch she craved. Despite the fact she feared for his safety when he was with her, she couldn’t prevent herself from craving his presence as if he were her drug of choice. Then again, her life had been filled with stupid choices. She felt a sharp kick in her abdomen and dropped her hand to cup the swell of the baby she carried. Sometimes, stupid choices led to blessings. Her baby was one of those.
“Is he okay?” Mitch’s voice whispered above her ear, the brush of his breath sending a chill down her spine.
“We’re good.”
He didn’t comment on that, and she was grateful. He was the only one who didn’t question her constant remarks that she was fine or good or some variation on that. What the hell did they expect her to say? Admit the truth? No, my mind is completely fucked from living for years as the personal pet of a doctor whose very name sends terror into the heart of shifters. Did they think she’d tell the things she’d been forced to witness, to participate in, to endure while her screams were locked inside her? It was a hell as unique as it was common among those captured and tortured by the purist society known by the simple moniker of hunters.
It was accurate, though. They were a sect of men and women who trained their children to hunt people they suspected of being shifters. If lucky, a shifter would be killed while trying to escape capture or killed quickly after capture. But hunters rarely did anything quickly, and torture was where they found immense pleasure.
“Go for a walk with me?” he murmured.
“Yes.”
It was a short and clipped response when inside she screamed her reply, begging him to take her away so she could breathe in the fresh air. He used the palm on her back to guide her through the shadows to the side door and out into the corridor. Everyone pretended to ignore them as they passed, but she felt the stares.
Mitch had been a constant presence in her life since he’d carried her off the helicopter and into the medical center. He was the only person who’s touch she could tolerate. Tolerate? She craved it. Having him near her had a calming effect on both her and her child. The baby reacted as much to Mitch’s voice as he did to hers as if her son were giving his seal of approval. She was so afraid she and her child would end up on their own. With the changes taking place inside her since she’d come home to Oklahoma, it was becoming dangerous to have others around her. She had too much blood on her hands as it was. She’d be damned if she hurt Mitch. Somehow, the man had found his way into her heart. She fell for him a little more with every soft touch and sincere gesture. He was everything she’d always wanted and now was afraid to hold on to.
“Talk to me,” Mitch pressed as soon as they stepped into the sunlight and gentle breeze. “You’re shutting down on me. I feel you pulling away. You know all you have to do is say the word, and I’ll back off.”
“No. Don’t. I…don’t want you to back off. You’re the only person here I want around me.”
He ran his hand up and down her spine, soothing her. God, he was always soothing her, comforting her. Did he have any idea how badly she craved something more? A kiss. A firmer touch in intimate places. An embrace that was anything but soft and gentle. No, he didn’t, because she was too damn afraid to tell him. Afraid he wouldn’t want her in the same way. Afraid he would, and she’d lose him anyway. Life had taught her that lesson well.
“I’m not going anywhere. Though I still think we could use a bigger bed,” he teased, and heat filled her cheeks.
In the weeks since she’d come to live with the pride, he’d kept his word and stayed with her. He spent every spare moment he had with her, and every night, he returned to her bed, snuggling behind her and wrapping her in the safety of his arms. It was the only time she felt perfectly safe and at peace. Or had been. Until one of the hunters who kept attacking the pride had tried to take her, and she’d turned into something that scared her even more than the past she’d endured.
“Hey.” He tilted up her chin, gazing into her eyes before tugging her into his solid frame and holding her tightly against him. “You know you can talk to me, right? I won’t think you’re weak. Doing what you did takes a toll on anyone.”
“I killed a man.” And he hadn’t been her first kill.
He had been the first one she’d killed with her bare hands, though. She’d gutted him to be precise. In a way that she shouldn’t have been able to. Once again, her mind screamed the question that plagued her every waking thought and even crept in to disturb her sleep. What had Dr. Talbot done to her? What was she becoming? And how would it affect her baby? She shuddered at the thought of harm coming to her child.
Mitch squeezed her then stepped back, creating a few inches of distance between them. She wanted to close the gap but held herself in check. It seemed as if she were in a constant battle with herself when it came to Mitch. Wanting him and being afraid of hurting him put her in a constant tug of war. He brushed his thumb under her eye before cupping her face.
“You need to rest more. I can see how exhausted you are. It can’t be good for you or little man.”
He rubbed her baby bump, and she smiled when her son responded to Mitch’s touch.
“Why don’t I take you back now?” he offered. “I’ve got to head out for a bit soon. You could take a nap. Maybe, I can join you when I’m done.”
He wiggled his brows, and she wished she could nap. Then her gaze moved over his shoulder toward the medical center where she and Mitch slept every night. How could no one in the pride anticipate the horror staying there brought her? Didn’t they understand it was too reminiscent of where Talbot had kept her? Couldn’t they see the terror in her gaze? Didn’t they understand all the words screaming inside her were somehow trapped behind a throat that froze up any time she tried to speak?
“Quinn?”
“I’m fine. Working through what happened. I’ll be okay.”
“I’d remind you that he deserved it, but I doubt that would matter to you.” Mitch stepped to the side, blocking the sun from her eyes with his broad shoulders. “Given the chance, I would have taken his life to protect yours.”
I need you. I want you. Hold me again. Don’t let me go. No matter what.
The words stuck in her throat, held back by the invisible grip around her neck. She nodded instead. Mitch proved how intuitive he was, though. He reached for her again, tugging her against him then wrapping his arms tightly around her. His chin rested on the top of her head.
“I want to help you,” he whispered, and her stomach rippled as the son she carried seemed to agree with him.
Everything going forward would be for her child. She’d make up for the father he’d never have. She’d love him with all she had and protect him with her dying breath if it came to it. She’d fight to live, though. She didn’t want to leave him. Nor would she ever give him up. No one would take her child from her. No one.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
“Wondering how soon you can be back to nap with me,” she suggested and smiled when he laughed. What would she do if anything happened to him?
They stood in silence for a long moment. She never felt as safe as she did when she was with Mitch. It was unexplainable, but the feeling had existed from the first time she’d encountered him and only grown stronger over the weeks since. Was it possible to love a man she was afraid to let inside her mind?
“Boss, Sandman needs you.”
One of the men who constantly lingered around Mitch and Quinn stepped forward and interrupted their embrace. Quinn wanted to growl with frustration. For a moment, she’d felt like a normal woman, embracing a man who could be…everything. Reality was back, though, with the firm reminder she needed to figure out what was going on inside her before she could ask someone else to face the future with her.
Mitch pulled away reluctantly then stared hard at her, as if trying to figure out something.
“Quinn?”
“I’m fine. Go see what Tony needs.”
She wrapped her arms around her burgeoning belly and stepped away from him. She’d been with the pride of cat shifters long enough to know Sandman was Tony Sandoval, the man who’d brought his helicopter to carry her home. He owned the land bordering the area where the pride lived. He was somewhat of an enigma. She wasn’t sure if he was scientist, a soldier, or something in between. He was smart as hell, supervised several units of men who were either military or had been at some point, and still managed to come across as the boy next door with his warm smile and easy laughter.
She realized Mitch still stared at her with an odd look on his face.
“Go. I’m fine.”
“I’ll walk you back first,” he offered, but she didn’t want to go back to her cage yet. Not without him.
“No. I’m going to walk up to the main house.”
“I’ll—”
“I can walk by myself,” she snapped then felt remorse instantly. The leash she’d tightened around herself was fraying at the edges, and as she’d feared, she was taking it out on someone she shouldn’t.
“I’m sorry.”
He didn’t say anything, but his eyes probed at her as if seeking all the secrets she held inside. Secrets she couldn’t share. Not with him. Not with anyone. She had nothing to share until she knew what the hell was going on.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
That internal growl built inside her again, and she made a shooing motion with her hands, refusing to open her lips in case the sound escaped. When he didn’t move, she took the choice from him, tossing him a wave then turning on her heel and stalking away as much as her pregnant belly would allow. Hard to believe she only had several weeks before she could cradle her son in her arms.
His gaze was like a physical stroke along her spine, but she refused to glance back at him. If she really cared about him, she’d continue to walk away from him. He made her feel too much, made her want to hope and dream the way she had before she’d found herself part of a madman’s experiment. But she was just selfish enough to want him and the woman she became when he was near.
Her hand dropped to the swell of her belly again as her son kicked. She silently repeated her vow to keep her son safe. No matter what it cost.
“Quinn.”
She paused at Mitch’s call but didn’t turn back. She simply paused and waited.
“I’ll find you as soon as I’m free.”
She lifted a hand and gave him another wave to acknowledge that she’d heard him then kept walking. As soon as she turned the corner out of his line of sight, she veered off toward the barn that housed the assortment of ATVs the pride used. Not that she planned to go anywhere. Hell, she’d had very little time on her own since she’d arrived. There was always someone watching her. Even freedom didn’t change some aspects of her life.
Easing open the door, she slipped into the cool darkness and briefly contemplated climbing to the loft before veering into the shadows of the back corner instead. She eased down to sit, ignoring the spiderwebs and obvious neglect that was sure to have her covered in dust and dirt when she stood back up. Shafts of light cast kaleidoscopes through the air where they pierced through the dim interior. In the dim and silence, Quinn wrapped her arms around herself and let the terror beating inside her come to life.
She’d killed a man. A human, if hunters could be considered human. Or maybe, he had been human but not humane, and there was a difference. She’d learned that the hard way. Learned it at the end of a scalpel, her throat raw from screaming for help that never came. Her gaze fell to her hands, and though she knew it was only in her mind, all she could see was the stain of spilled blood. So much blood. She’d killed a man, but he hadn’t been her first.
That was part of what tore her apart. The sympathy in the gazes of those around her. The constant assurances that it was okay, that she’d only done what she had to. The care and concern she didn’t deserve. The acceptance they’d take away if they learned what she really was, who she had become after years as Talbot’s pet project.
They worried her silence was due to the life she’d taken, but that didn’t begin to cover what she’d done. It wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg. Besides, her concern wasn’t about what she’d done but how she’d done it.
The man had grabbed her from behind, planning to use her as a shield to get away. No one had been close enough to hear what he’d said to her, but she’d never forget his words.
“I’m going to enjoy cutting that abomination from your belly. Little bastard shouldn’t have been allowed to grow. Talbot and his fucking god complex. What’s in your belly is unnatural, just as you are. More so than the animals we hunt and kill.”
She’d locked up. His words ripping through her mind and awakening something she hadn’t realized existed. A red haze had surrounded her, and the next thing she knew, she’d been crouched over him, his belly splayed wide, blood staining her hands. It had been instinct to grab the knife from his belt and drag it through the open wound.
Mitch had reached her first, scooping her up against his chest and carrying her away. Long minutes later, the knife had been removed from her nerveless fingers. No one had commented on the blood under her nails, her very human nails. No one had questioned her near catatonic state of mind in the aftermath. Then again, none of them had seen.
Claws. When the haze had cleared from her eyes, she’d seen the body, the blood, and the animalistic claws that had sprouted from the ends of her fingers. Claws that shouldn’t exist on a human woman. Even one who carried the child of a lion shifter. Add in the growls that were becoming harder and harder to hold inside and the myriad other physical anomalies she was only beginning to notice, and terror flashed like a strobe light inside her. Questions beat like the rush of a thousand butterfly wings inside her.
What had Talbot done to her?