Heart Starter by Michelle Hercules
2
SADIE
I’mbleary-eyed when I push my trolley through the arrival gate of LAX and search the crowd. In the end, Dominic didn’t come with me. He got the internship he’d been vying for, and I couldn’t ask him to drop that to accompany me on this trip, only to be a buffer between Dad and me.
It’s easy to spot my father in the sea of people. He’s taller than most, and he always wears a baseball hat with his school’s logo on it. I haven’t seen him face to face in three years, and our online calls have been sparse. I simply never had much to say to him. Now I’m back to my home country—a place I never wanted to leave to begin with—and it feels surreal. I’m not sure if I belong here anymore.
He has a tentative smile on his scruffy face as he walks over. “Hi, Sadie.”
“Hey, Dad.”
He circles around the trolley with the clear intention to pull me into a side hug, but he stops abruptly and asks, “Is this okay, or are you still healing?”
It’s hard to school my face into neutral. I don’t like to talk about my battle wound. I thought I was fine when I was in the hospital, but when I returned home, my brain decided having PTSD was the way to go.
“It’s been six weeks. I’m fine.”
He hugs me awkwardly, and I can’t help the stiffness of my body. Mercifully, he steps back fast.
“Let me help you with that.”
He takes the trolley from me, which was acting like a shield. With that gone, I can increase the distance between us. I can’t stray too far, though, or he’ll notice. I clutch the straps of my backpack tighter while I pretend to people watch.
“How was your flight?” he asks.
“It was good. The seat next to me was empty.”
“I love when that happens. Did you manage to sleep?”
“Couldn’t. I was too wired.”
“Nervous?”
I glance at him, frowning. “About what?”
“New school, new teammates.”
I shrug. “It’s not like this is my first rodeo moving across the ocean and starting from scratch.”
He falls silent after that, which is what I wanted. The jab was intentional. Before my parents’ divorce, Dad and I were close. I was your typical daddy’s girl. Mum decided to move back to England after the split, and Dad agreed with giving her full custody of me and my brother. I begged to stay and live with him. I didn’t want to move to a country I knew nothing about, save that it rained a lot. And according to my six-year-old mind, Mum was to blame for breaking up our family. She was the one who wanted to move back to her country. Naturally, things were way more complicated than that, but still, I resented my father for not fighting for me.
The sun has yet to set in California, but back in London, it’s way past my bedtime. I can’t wait to crash into a bed, any bed.
“I bought In-N-Out Burgers if you’re hungry.” Dad offers me a paper bag once we’re in the car.
I was determined to keep up with the grumpiness, but a grin unfurls on my lips. “I haven’t had one in years.”
Eagerly, I take the bag from him and dive in.
“I remember you and Dominic ate so much the first time, you both had a tummy ache.”
I wish Dad would stop reminiscing. Those were the happy days before the implosion of our happy family, and there’s no point in dwelling there.
“I want to ask if you changed your mind about staying over for a couple of days, and give us a chance to catch up.”
My stomach twists into knots, forcing me to stop chewing for a moment. “Nope. I haven’t changed my mind. I’d like to get settled in my dorm room as soon as possible. Preseason training starts in two days. Besides, I think it’s best if we keep our relationship on the down low at campus. I don’t want to be treated differently because my father coaches the American football team.”
“It’s just called football, honey.”
“No, I play football.” I shove a fry into my mouth.
I’m only saying that to annoy him. I obviously know the difference in terminology.
“I like your accent. It’s cute.”
“I hope it’ll help me get laid as much as it helps Dominic whenever he comes to visit you.”
“Sadie!”
“What? Americans love a British accent.”
It’s hard to keep a straight face when Dad is redder than a tomato.
“I thought you had a good head on your shoulders,” he grumbles.
“Will you relax? I was just taking the piss. I have no intention on dating. Football will be my only focus.”
“And your classes too.”
I roll my eyes. “Sure, and classes.”
“We need to go shopping for cars. Any model you have in mind?”
Tension sweeps over my body. I forgot that owning a car is a must in America. I hate to drive mainly because I suck at it.
“Nope. Anything will do.”
“Okay. I’ll start looking online and then send you links.”
“Brilliant.”
“Are you sure you want to go to the dorms now?”
I nod. “Yeah, I might as well get settled. I’ve already emailed my roommate and told her I’d be moving in today. It’s all arranged.”
“Okay, Sadie. If that’s what you want,” he says, resigned.
I look out the window, not feeling an ounce of satisfaction in getting my way.
* * *
Since I only brought twosuitcases and a backpack, getting settled in my minuscule dorm room took less than five minutes. I didn’t unpack, just shoved my suitcases under the bed. Dad didn’t linger, for which I had to thank my roommate, Katrina Montana, an extremely enthusiastic girl from my original hometown of Austin, Texas.
As soon as my father left, she started talking a mile a minute. “I’m so excited to finally meet you, Sadie. I had no idea your father was the football team’s coach. You know what that means, right?”
“No idea.” I flop on my bed, trying to give her a clue that I’m bone-tired and in no mood to chat right now.
“You’ll get access to all the cute boys on the team.” Her voice rises to a shriek.
“I guess. I don’t really care, to be honest. I’m here to play football, not chase jerseys.”
“Well, you’ll be chasing jerseys anyway. I mean, when you play soccer, you’re technically chasing jerseys.”
Oh God. She’s one of those Miss Smarty-pants girls. I pull a pillow over my head and groan.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m super tired. It’s been a long day.”
“I’m so sorry. Of course you are. You probably want to take a nap before the party.”
I pull the pillow away from my face and lean on my elbows. “What party?”
“The preseason party at the Red Barn. It’s a jock thing. You don’t know? The girls’ soccer team is always there.”
Ugh. I’ve received a few emails from Vanessa Castro, the team’s captain, which I ignored. I was not in a good place emotionally. I was afraid she’d mention the attack in them. Now I know it was stupid to be so cowardly. I hope my radio silence didn’t shine a bad light on me; I don’t want to be perceived as a liability to the team.
“I’ve been traveling all day. I’m sure I was invited and just missed the email.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. What time do you want me to wake you?”
All I want is to sleep until tomorrow, but now I have to do damage control. If this is a preseason kickoff party, my presence is a must.
“Whenever you’re ready to go. I need a ride anyway, as I haven’t gotten around to getting a car yet.”
“Sure. Will do.”
Katrina leaves the room, and not a second later, I pass out.
