More Than This by Dominique Wolf

CHAPTER 17:

Isabella

M

y head was killing me.

I slowly opened my eyes as I was greeted by the day. The sun was peeping through the curtains and the memories of last night came flooding back.

Oh fuck.

I sat right up, looking around Giovanni's room. The abrupt movement really wasn't helping the pounding from behind my eyes. I pulled the blanket over my naked body. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to get a handle on my thoughts. I remembered brief fragments of storming through his place trying to find him. I remembered his hot, wet body as he stepped out of the bathroom. I remembered him pinning me against the wall.

My cheeks flushed at the memories of what came next.

“Isabella,” I groaned to myself and hung my head in my hands.

What were you thinking?

How could I have allowed myself to end up in Giovanni's bed again? This was such a bad idea and I needed to get out of here. I slowly moved off his bed and scanned the room for my clothes. I quickly found my underwear and bra and slipped back into them. I was searching for my dress again and this was reminiscent of the first night I slept with him. What was I going to say to him? This should never have happened, and yet, the reminder of his presence between my legs was making it difficult for me to want to leave at all. I found my dress and pulled it over me, zipping it in place. My bag and shoes were waiting in the corner and I quickly reached for them. I slipped out of his room and slowly made my way downstairs. I had to keep my movements slower than usual - the raging headache and lingering dizziness were begging me to. As I turned around the corner towards the kitchen, there he stood behind the counter.

“Morning,” he said with a smile on his face.

He had nothing on but a pair of grey sweatpants, hanging perfectly at his waist. He has got to be doing this on purpose. He knew how much I loved the sight of his body and I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

“Uh hi,” I mumbled awkwardly.

“You're not trying to run away again are you?” he joked. “'Cause this feels very familiar.”

I couldn't help but smile at his reference to the morning after we first slept together. This was reminiscent of that day. I was so adamant to keep to Reyna's rules that I really thought I could run away without him seeing. That was definitely not what happened next, but I couldn't allow myself to think of that.

He placed a glass of water and two tablets on the counter. “I was going to bring this to you.”

I walked towards the counter. “Thank you.”

I picked the tablets up and brought the water to my lips, washing them down my throat. I was really hoping they would start kicking in soon because my head was pounding.

He leaned against the counter and flicked his eyes to meet mine. My breath caught in my throat, I was sick to my stomach with nerves. I had no idea how I was supposed to get out of this.

“Breakfast?” he asked. “I can order us something or we can go out and ge-”.

“Giovanni,” I interrupted him.”I'm sorry, but I think I should leave.”

“Why?” His eyes were saddened.

I averted my eyes. Coming here last night was so selfish of me and now I was overcome with guilt. No matter how much I was dying to be in his arms again, all I've done now was put us both through a continued and inevitable heartbreak. It wasn't fair on him either. I was the one who walked out on him.

“Last night shouldn't have happened,” I said softly.

“That's not true,” he objected.

“I'm serious, Giovanni.” I looked up to meet his eyes. “That was a mistake.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “You're lying to yourself, Isabella. You know that wasn't a mistake. We are meant to be together.”

He walked around the counter to where I stood. I turned with my back against it as he stepped closer to me. My heart ached for him. Last night wasn't supposed to happen. It was a poor lapse of judgment and all I've done is broken my own heart over again knowing that we were still in this fucked up situation.

“This doesn't change anything,” I murmured and slipped past him.

I needed to get out of here. The continued tension was suffocating me and I didn't know how to handle it.

“How many times are you going to break my heart, Isabella?”

His voice was riddled with pain and it made the tears fill my eyes. I turned to face him.

“I never wanted to break your heart, Giovanni,” I choked. “But what am I-”.

Before I could finish my sentence, the sound of the elevator opening made both of us turn towards the exit.

“Giovanni? Are you ready to go?” Casey shouted.

She sauntered around the corner and a rush of nausea washed over me.

“Oh, you're here,” she muttered, stopping in her tracks.

I turned back to Giovanni and his eyes were screaming an apology from across the room. This was exactly the kind of situation I wanted to avoid and yet, here I was.

“I was just leaving,” I mumbled and turned towards the exit.

“Isabella, wait,” Giovanni shouted and rushed over to me. “Casey, please can you just give us a moment?”

Casey scoffed and strolled into the living room. Her blonde hair falling effortlessly over her shoulder. She was wearing a large coat that hid her stomach and I wondered if she was starting to show.

Giovanni reached for my arm, stopping me from getting into the elevator. “Isabella, please don't leave like this. She's only here because we have a doctor's appointment.”

I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to hear anything about them and their baby. I hated it.

“I should never have come here last night,” I repeated.

“Please don't say that,” he murmured. “You know that last night wasn't a mistake. You and I being together is not a mistake, Isabella.”

“Nothing has changed, Giovanni,” I repeated. “I want no part of this.”

I pulled my arm out of his hold and stepped into the elevator.

“Isabella, please,” he pleaded.

“I'm sorry.”

“If you walk away now then that's it.” He took a deep breath in. “You either want to be with me or you don't, but I can't keep watching you leave.”

My eyes met his and I could see I had hurt him again. Worse than I did before. All I wanted to do was get out of the elevator and wrap my arms around him. I wanted to comfort him and tell him how much I love him.

But I didn't.

Instead, I stayed silent and the elevator doors closed, shutting me off from him again. As soon as he was out of sight, I felt my heart break all over again. The tears spilled over and I couldn't hold them back any longer. I was so angry at myself for allowing this to happen. I was angry that this was our reality. I was so happy being in his arms last night. It felt like that was exactly where I belonged but that was short-lived. This morning reminded me exactly of why I needed to stay away from him. Casey walking in so casually made me feel sick. Every time I saw her, it reminded me of what she said at Mala Mía.

We always find our way back to each other.

By the time I stepped out of the elevator, the sadness had slipped away and I was now overcome with a wave of all-consuming anger. I was angry that we were in this situation in the first place. I wiped away my tears. What good would crying do? Nothing was going to change and I had to accept that Casey had won. I turned to hail a taxi as my phone buzzed in my bag. I gave the driver my address and glanced down at my screen, surprised to find a text from Lorenzo.

Hey Isabella, how about coffee?

Any other day I would have probably politely rejected his offer, but after seeing Casey at Giovanni's apartment, I was reminded that I needed to start forgetting about Giovanni. He and I would never be end game and I was torturing myself here. I needed a distraction and Lorenzo would be perfect for that. I took a deep breath in and texted him back.

Where should I meet you?