The Duke’s Twin Lust by Lorena Owen
Chapter Nineteen
Amelia’s heart was pounding furiously. She turned to Rebecca and saw that she had a look of terror on her face. Amelia knew she didn’t look much better.
“What do we do?” she whispered to Rebecca, scared that her voice would make the boy even more scared.
Rebecca did not reply. She was apparently unable to tear her face away from the lad.
Thoughts were running through Amelia’s head, confusing her with their speed. What was she supposed to do? Calling him would surely spook him, and Amelia did not think it was the right option.
However, before she could convey her thoughts to Rebecca, the latter took a step forward and called, “Michael!”
“No!” Amelia hissed at her furiously, before she turned to look at the boy.
The boy had a tear-stained face as he turned to them. “My mama is gone,” he wailed.
Amelia stared up at him, her heart tearing at his words. She knew firsthand how painful the loss of a parent was, and she could only imagine how Michael, a child, would be feeling about that.
But they could not bear to lose him too. If he fell, the tenants would take it as a measure of the irresponsibility of their duke.
“Please come down,” Rebecca said, sounding on the verge of tears. “I knew your mama and papa, and they would want you to be with us if they were here. You know that.”
“They wouldn’t want me to be here! They would want me to be with them!” Michael screamed furiously, pointing at Rebecca. The branch he was on wobbled furiously.
“No, Michael, don’t move!” Amelia yelled before she could stop herself.
She was aware of Rebecca’s disdainful eyes on her, but she took a deep breath and ignored her. “Michael,” she said, “Your mother and father loved you very much. You were the most important thing in the world to them. They would want you to have a long, happy life, with people who think you’re the best person in the world and would care for you till they are gone.”
She watched as the defiance on Michael’s face seeped out, only to be replaced by pure grief. “But I want a mama and papa,” the boy said, wiping away tears.
His every movement threatened to send Amelia’s heart into her throat. Still, she knew yelling again would spook him. And so, she said as calmly as she could, “I can be your new mama, Michael, if that’s what you’d like. I’ll take care of you and love you, and you’ll mean the world to me.” She knew it was a risk, making this offer to a newly grieving boy, but she wanted him to know that he was still cared for and loved.
Michael narrowed his eyes at her, and for a fraction of a moment, Amelia thought she was making headway. But suddenly the boy yelled, “I don’t want a new mama and papa! I don’t like you! Give me my old mama and papa back!”
And, before Amelia could so much as blink, the boy turned away from her and reached for another branch.
Rebecca yelled loudly, but her yell was nothing compared to the terror building up inside Amelia. Amelia could not hold back anymore. She hefted her skirts into her hands, ran towards the window, and grabbed the branch closest to it. She hefted herself onto it and started to climb.
As a child, Amelia had climbed a lot of trees. She had been taught by her father, who liked to play a kind of game with her where he would award her with berries if she could do it faster than him. Her mother was always scared that Amelia would come to harm, but Amelia soon started climbing trees even her father would not attempt as he grew older.
Since she’d started working at the inn, Amelia had not climbed any tree. Still, old instincts came back to her as she swung from branch to branch. It was quite difficult to climb a tree while clothed in a heavy gown, but Amelia was too scared to even pay attention to her regalia.
Very soon, she was on a branch close to where Michael lay. He had been staring down at her as she climbed, and in the few moments Amelia had glanced at him, he looked like he’d just seen a shark climbing a tree. She reached up a hand to him and said, “Come on.”
Michael seemed too shocked to even lift his hand. “My mama says climbing trees is for common folks,” he said.
Amelia shrugged. She was heaving from the climb and the effort it took to stay on her heavier, studier branch. “I’m different from your average lady, you’ll find.”
Michael let out his breath in a single whoosh. Finally, he stretched out his hand to her.
The relief that came with his single motion threatened to send Amelia flying off the tree. Steadying herself, she took his hand and pulled him onto her branch. This came not a moment too soon, because as soon as she pulled him off the branch, it separated from the tree completely, falling onto the ground.
Michael started to cry in earnest. Amelia crushed him into her arm, her chin resting on his sweet-smelling hair. She felt the tears on her face before she realised she was also crying. She knew exactly how Michael felt. She had felt the same way when she’d lost her parents, and feelings like that never went away.
“I’m sorry,” Michael mumbled.
“I will never leave you, ever,” Amelia said in a tear-choked voice. She felt a twinge of guilt as she reminded herself that being here in Lady Gillingham’s place was temporary, but she knew she intended to keep her promise to Michael, no matter what. “I know exactly how you feel, and I have felt that way before.”
Michael pulled away from her embrace, his eyes narrowed as he looked at her. “I don’t believe you,” he said.
“I lost both of my parents within a month of each other,” Amelia said. A second later, she regretted her words. She had no idea if both of Christiana’s parents were still alive, and her words were likely to bring trouble for her if anyone else heard.
Still, it seemed to make Michael feel less alone, and that was worth any trouble her words might bring. He looked almost sympathetic as he went into her arms again, his tears wetting her shoulder.
After a few minutes, Michael calmed down, and Amelia reckoned it was safe to bring him down again.
But, before she could suggest that, Michael turned to her and said, “You climb very well.”
Amelia shrugged, smiling through her tears. “I know.”
“I bet I can climb faster than you though,” he said.
Amelia chuckled. “I honestly doubt that.”
“Let’s try it out then,” Michael said.
And before Amelia could say anything else, Michael had launched himself from her arms and started to climb down the tree at an alarmingly fast rate. Amelia stared down at him, unable to believe he was the same child who had been yelling and crying minutes ago.
He was already halfway down the tree when he looked up at her and said, “I’m winning!”
Amelia let out a burst of laughter. “Cheater!” she cried down at him.
She started to climb down the tree too, but as slowly as she could, because she knew winning this little competition would mean a lot to Michael. And so, when her feet touched solid ground, Michael was already screaming with glee and pointing at her.
“You lose!” he cried.
Amelia giggled and raised her arms up. “I guess I did,” she said. Going to him, she knelt in the grass, took his face in her palms and said, “Michael, you should never do what you did when I’m not there, okay? You scared me so badly.”
Michael squinted at her suspiciously. “My mama used to say the same thing whenever I climbed.”
Amelia smiled. “I’m glad your mama and I think the same way.”
Michael stared at her, and Amelia took his stare to mean he was still not sure about having a new mama, but he was considering her for the position.
“Do you have horses here?” the boy burst out suddenly. “My mama said lords and ladies always have horses.”
Amelia nodded, grinning. “I can take you to the stables. Mind you, since you’re so little, you’ll only be allowed to ride a pony for now. But when you grow up to be a big strong man, perhaps you’ll have a horse of your own.”
Michael stared at her with wide eyes. He gave a quick nod and started to run in the direction of the stables, shouting, “Last to get there has to eat his hat!”
Amelia wanted very much to run after him, but she did not think she could manage that in her dress. So she looked at him as he ran away from her, unable to stop herself from laughing.
A sharp exhale behind her made her mirth disappear instantly. Turning around, she saw Rebecca gazing at her, looking like she’d just seen a ghost.
Amelia felt her stomach go queasy with discomfort. With everything that had just happened, she had forgotten that Rebecca had been there with her.
“I think he’s quite alright for now, wouldn’t you say?” Amelia said, wanting to stave off Rebecca’s criticisms.
But Rebecca did not seem to be in a mood to criticize. She was staring at Amelia with her eyes wide and her mouth open. And then, finally, she croaked, “You saved him.”
Amelia squinted at her. Did Rebecca think so little of Lady Gillingham that she was surprised that Amelia had thought to rescue a child?
She did not know what to say, and so she waited for Rebecca’s surprise to dissipate.
But if anything, Rebecca seemed to get more surprised. “I can’t believe you did that,” Rebecca said.
Amelia shrugged. There was something close to admiration in Rebecca’s eyes, and she felt quite awkward seeing it.
“How did you learn to climb like that?” Rebecca asked in a hushed voice.
This was the moment Amelia had been dreading. She had not thought of any story yet, but her mind raced with the possibilities. Finally, she said, “My father believed that men weren’t the only people meant for outdoor activities. So, he taught me.”
Rebecca hardly seemed to hear her. Still looking dumbfounded, she took a step forward, and then another.
Amelia took a hasty step backwards. What was Rebecca planning to do? Use the fallen branch to hit her?
But then, Rebecca took another step and enclosed Amelia in her arms.
Amelia was so shocked she couldn’t even raise her arms to hug her back. And so, instead, she stayed in the awkward hug.
But the hug was quick, and Rebecca stared at her with eyes full of tears. “Thank you,” she whispered. “As long as you are around, Michael will surely survive the loss of his parents.”
The words meant more to Amelia than Rebecca could know. And so she said, “I’m sorry I was mean to you, Rebecca. You have no idea how much I regret it.” It felt strange to apologise on Lady Gillingham’s behalf, but Amelia knew there was no way she would survive the few months she had to spend here if she’d already made an enemy of everyone in the manor. “I hope we can raise Michael together.”
Rebecca nodded enthusiastically, smiling through her tears. “I want that more than anything,” she whispered.
Amelia felt her heart burst with warmth. It had taken a while, but she was now certain that she had found a friend in Rebecca.
* * *
After several hours of watching Michael mount his new pony and race round the grounds of the manor, Amelia had to admit she was as tired as she’d ever been. But she was also happier than she’d ever been. When she’d discussed children with Ernest at the lake, it had been a mere theory, something she’d thought she would not have to worry about for many years.
But, Michael had appeared to her and as Amelia watched him ride, she knew she was going to be shattered if she had to leave him behind. Even if she’d been with him for mere hours, she knew he had grown on her.
More than that, she could tell he needed her. His eyes seemed to search her out every few seconds, as though waiting for confirmation that she was still around. Amelia did not want to think about what would happen when she left and the new Lady Gillingham returned. The woman was likely to make Michael regret ever being adopted by the duke.
At the thought of the duke, Amelia felt her heart fold in on itself. Ernest was one more person that she could not bear to leave behind. In a few days, he had gone from being a stranger to one of her dearest friends. And more than that, she was completely drawn towards him.
Her cheeks flushed as she recalled those moments at the lake. She had been so close to giving into her passion. But, at the last moment, she had come to and realised what she was doing. As she stood on the grounds and watched Michael race around with his pony, she felt partly relieved and partly disappointed. It had been the right thing to do, turning the duke away, but she still felt a twinge because things had not gone further. She knew she had to keep declining him when he asked, but a huge part of her wanted to know what laying with Ernest felt like.
“Lady Gillingham,” Michael called. Looking up, Amelia saw that he was being helped off his horse by two stable boys. “Do you fancy a ride, maybe?” he asked.
Amelia shook her head vigorously. She’d had enough experience with a horse that day to last a lifetime, and she did not think she was getting on one anytime soon.
She took Michael back to the manor. His chambers were next to hers, and Michael positively screamed with glee when he saw the size of it. “It’s bigger than my former house,” he said, and Amelia felt her chest grow warm. She put him to bed, watching as he tossed and turned, his eyes on her.
“Would you sing for me?” he asked suddenly. “My mama sang to put me to bed.”
Amelia bit back a smile. “You don’t want to hear me sing,” she said, but he was looking at her expectantly. And so, she sang one of the songs she’d known from childhood. Before she was through with singing, Michael was asleep.
Amelia kissed the top of his forehead before she went out of the room. On her way to her chambers, she came across two maids whispering to each other. Amelia nodded to them in salute, and they curtseyed when they saw her, looking at her as though they’d seen a ghost. Amelia did not have time to wonder about that, because when she threw open her door, she saw Mary smiling up at her.
“Your Grace,” Mary said. “Word of your heroic act has spread round the estate, helped in no small part by Lady Rebecca herself.”
Amelia stared at her in surprise. “What?” she asked.
“The Lady Rebecca has spread word of what you did for poor Michael. I suppose the duke must have heard by now.”
Amelia let out a sound of disbelief. “Heroic act? Mary, I climbed up a tree. There’s nothing heroic about it.”
“I disagree, Your Grace,” Mary said, as she went to Amelia and started to pull on her dress strings. “What you did was marvellous, especially when you consider the fact that you are a highborn lady. Also, this is a marked change in attitude, judging from how the real Lady Gillingham would have acted.”
Amelia sighed. Now she understood why the maids had been looking at her in that way.
She turned to Mary. “To tell you the truth, Mary, this is getting difficult.”
“What do you mean, Your Grace?” Mary asked.
“Lying,” Amelia said simply. It was difficult to stand in front of Ernest and lie to him every day. It was difficult to have to worry about being found out every few hours. She was terrified of the fact that soon, she would get tired of it all and simply tell someone the truth soon.
“I’m sorry, Your Grace,” Mary said. She was staring at her with a strange look in her eyes.
“What is it, Mary?” Amelia asked, confused.
“You’re good, Your Grace,” Mary said. “I didn’t know if I could trust you before, but I now know I can.” Mary paused and took a deep breath. “And with that in mind, I would like to tell you something.”