Breaking the Beast by Nicole Casey
Jacques
This is ridiculous. It will never work.
They’re fools for trying, and you would be a fool to get your hopes up. Confused thoughts swirled through my head as I stormed out of the dining room. As I slammed the door behind me, an antique tea set rattled on the hall table. I slowed. One of the cups was already chipped from a previous tumble, and I didn’t want to risk shattering the rest.
My feet carried me, seemingly of their own volition, to the aviary, and I grabbed the basket of stale bread that Isiah always kept stocked outside the door. He knew I liked to feed the birds while I sorted through my thoughts. Something about the birds’ constant whirling movement around me made me feel like the calm in the middle of a storm. I so very rarely felt calm.
Birds scattered as I entered the room, then edged closer as they recognized me. Breaking off a corner of the hard, stale bread, I began to scatter breadcrumbs. “Dinner time,” I said under my breath. “Come and get it.”
Perhaps I shouldn’t have stormed out of dinner the way I did. I was sure my men were talking about me now, probably worried. But I couldn’t listen to Étienne any longer. I couldn’t believe he could even think to try this again, after what had happened last time. What was that girl’s name? Brittney? Bernadette? Bridget, that was it. Stupid girl, more interested in my wealth than in me.
I thought back to her last day in the castle, when I had finally, finally gotten up the nerve to try to touch her, and she had flinched and pulled away, an expression of barely disguised disgust on her face. In that moment, she had looked so much like Agatha that I had snapped and… Well. Let’s just say that it was a good thing Bernard had had the girl sign an NDA before she arrived.
And now they wanted to do it again. After all that. More fools them. I washed my hands of it. Women weren’t for me. Agatha had shown me that, and Bridget had driven it home. I had learned my lesson now: The only thing I had to offer a woman was money, and I could think of a thousand better uses for my wealth than throwing it away to keep a girl happy.
With that thought, I threw the final bit of bread to the ground. One of the smaller birds—a finch, maybe, Raphael would know—hopped towards it, but was chased away by a larger bird. No dinner for him tonight. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t finished my dinner, either. I would have to raid the kitchen after everyone had gone to bed. Isiah usually left something out for me in the evenings. He knew I didn’t sleep through the night.
The sun was beginning to set, so I went to the window to watch it. The floor-to-ceiling windows of the aviary gave me an excellent view of the grounds, and I spent a good many of my evenings up here. Autumn was my favorite, when the leaves began to change and their fiery colors reflected the flame of the setting sun.
When I’d purchased this castle, people had dismissed it as a symptom of my downward spiral, the final sign that I had really gone ‘round the bend. And maybe I had, but I had never regretted my castle. Set far apart from the hustle and bustle of the city, the large, sprawling grounds ensured that I was never bothered. I could walk for hours without leaving my property. The castle was my sanctuary, the only place I felt truly safe. And when I was at my lowest, it was here for me, as well as all of my closest friends.
I remembered that last, horribly night with Agatha, when she had screamed at me, listed all my faults, told me I was unlovable. All caught on camera by paparazzi, who followed me everywhere in those days, eager to document my steady fall from grace. I had stumbled home and drunk myself into a stupor that lasted I don’t know how many days. When I finally sobered up, I knew it was time to ask for help, or I was probably going to drink myself to death, or worse. There was only one person I could call: Bernard, my closest friend since childhood. We hadn’t spoken in some time by then, but nevertheless, he came almost immediately. He called Vincent, and together they put together a household staff of discrete, reliable men. The six of them had gotten me sober, kept me sane, protected me from myself and from the media. I owed them my life and more.
When I’d retired, people had predicted that I would go broke, that the wrestling money would run out, and I would be forced to reemerge with my tail between my legs and start doing commercials for home gym equipment to keep the lights on. And maybe I would have, if not for Bernard. Bernard, always good with numbers, had stepped in to act as my business manager once I started making real money. He had helped with my initial investments until we discovered, to both of our surprise, that I had a knack for investment. Now, I handled all of my investments myself, and my wealth had only grown over the years. I was picky, only investing my money in businesses that I deemed sound both economically and ethically.
Through the window, I watched a peacock spread his impressive tail feathers and strut across the grounds. To the west, a small pond reflected the bright reds and oranges of the setting sun. Dinner must have ended already, because I spotted Alexandre pushing a wheelbarrow full of mulch towards the gardens, followed by Raphael, who had taken the dogs out for their evening exercise. We had created our own little community here; a tightly knit band of brothers, dependent on no one but ourselves. Why would we want to jeopardize what we had built? Just for some companionship?
“I thought I’d find you here,” a voice behind me said, and I whirled towards it, dropping into a defensive stance.
“Woah, woah,” Étienne said, hands raised. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you heard me come in.”
My heart was still pounding in my chest, and I placed my hand to it, willing my breath to slow, for the blood to stop rushing through my ears.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, ignoring Étienne’s apology.
“I came to talk to you,” he said. “We were all concerned for you.”
“I’m fine,” I said shortly.
Étienne came to stand beside me and was quiet for a moment as he gazed out the window. “I’ve made arrangements for the journalist to come interview you,” he said finally.
“Damn it, Étienne—” I began, but he raised his voice to speak over me.
“You don’t have to agree to anything right now, but she is coming. I think it will be good for you to at least do the interview.” I was silent. “I have a good feeling about her, Jacques. She won’t be like the other girl.”
“They’re all the same,” I said quietly.
“You and I both know that’s not true,” Étienne said. “I made a mistake before, with Bridget. It was a bad call, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try again. Please, at least give it a try.”
“I don’t want anyone else here,” I said. “I don’t want anyone to see me. What if I—like before?”
Étienne didn’t ask for clarification. He knew what I was afraid of. “We won’t let it happen,” he said. “Not this time.”
I was silent for a long moment, and Étienne didn’t try to push me. “Why do you care so much?” I asked finally.
“Because I’m worried about you,” Étienne said. “We all are. It’s not healthy for you to lock yourself away like this. It’s time to start reconnecting with the outside world.”
“Are you sure it’s not you who wants to reconnect?” I asked.
“Of course I do,” Étienne said simply. “But that’s not what this is about. This is about you.”
I scoffed. “Please. I’m perfectly happy here; I have been for years. But if you’re so miserable, why don’t you just leave? It’s not as if you’re a prisoner here. You can leave now, if you want to. I won’t stop you.”
“I know you won’t,” Étienne said. “But if I did, would I be welcomed back?”
I didn’t answer, and Étienne nodded, satisfied. “None of us are willing to give up on you, Jacques. We stay because we love you as a brother, and we want to help you. Now, will you let us help you?”
I weighed my options. Étienne wouldn’t back down easily, I knew. He would keep pushing. I looked back out the window. This is an enormous castle, I reminded myself. Easy to avoid anyone I’d rather not see. With that, I came to a decision.
“Fine,” I said. “Let her come. But only for the interview. I’ll meet with her once, but then I don’t want to see her again.”
A wide grin split Étienne’s handsome face, making him look much younger than his 31 years. I felt a pang of guilt for all that my friends had given up for me over the years. You never asked them to, I reminded myself. It was their choice to stay with you.
But if Étienne were right, it hadn’t been much of a choice, had it? Stay with me, or leave me on my own. And they all knew what happened when I was alone. No wonder they had all stayed.
“Come on,” Étienne said, breaking through my bleak thoughts. “You didn’t finish your dinner, and you must be starving. Isiah put a plate aside for you. I’ll have Bernard warm it up.”
I managed a wan smile. “D’accord. I am starving; let’s go.”
Throwing his arm across my shoulders in a brotherly fashion, Étienne led me out of the room.
