How to Heal the Marquess by Sally Forbes

Chapter Eight

 

“How is Grandfather?” Tobias asked the butler, who was just leaving the duke’s bedchambers, as Tobias made his way toward the room.

The butler’s smile was warm but tight.

“He is currently sleeping peacefully,” he said, knitting his brow.

Tobias nodded, understanding the unspoken message being conveyed. Clearly, there was no improvement in his grandfather’s condition, but at least he was resting. With a smile, Tobias released the butler to return to his duties while he made his way downstairs to join his mother for breakfast.

He smiled and greeted the dowager marchioness as he entered the main dining hall, kissing her on the cheek before making his way to his seat. Outwardly, he tried to appear calm and collected, but his mind kept replaying his conversation with his grandfather the previous day. As he buttered his toast, he thought about the promise he had made to the duke.

He was not at a point in his life when he wanted even to consider marriage any time soon. Now, he had bound himself to marry during the Season. He would, of course, keep his promise to his beloved grandfather. But he could not bring himself to feel anything but dread at the thought of marrying.

He glanced around idly, startled to see that his mother was staring intensely at him. He smiled sheepishly at her, taking a bite of the toast he had managed to over-butter as he was thinking.

“Darling,” the duchess said softly. “Are you all right?”

Tobias struggled to swallow the toasted bread he had just put in his mouth. He forced it down with a sip of water, then gave his mother a tight smile. There was a lie forming behind his lips, but his mother’s eyes were filled with deep concern, boring into him as though she was trying to read his very soul. With a sigh, he put down his toast and his water. He knew it would do no good trying to lie to her. He had tried many times during his youth, and each time she had known he was fibbing.

He knew she was so aware because she loved him so, as he did her. But he often wished it was easier to lie to her. Not because he wished to deceive her, but because he did not want to add to her current distress.

“Grandfather made me promise that I would marry this Season,” he said. Quickly, he explained the entire conversation he’d had with the duke, including the time limit he had given Tobias for marrying.

As always, the dowager marchioness listened patiently as her son spoke. Her expression relaxed, becoming thoughtful and musing as he told her everything. When he had finished speaking, she dabbed at her mouth with her napkin and then looked at her son with curiosity.

“How do you feel about that, dear?” she asked. “The darkness I see in your face tells me that you are less than thrilled with the idea.”

Tobias’s mouth twitched in a small smile. His mother truly could read him. But now he had told her the truth, he wondered how much more he should say. He did not wish to sound ungrateful or disrespectful, and he loved his grandfather so dearly. But he truly detested the idea of marriage, even if he had made a promise to the ailing duke.

“I would much rather be back in the country with my horses,” he admitted with a shrug. “I miss them terribly already.”

The marchioness nodded knowingly.

“I am sure this is all quite difficult for you,” she said. “But it is very honorable of you to be here for your grandfather and to be willing to fulfill his wishes in his time of need.”

Tobias nodded, understanding the words his mother was not saying. And he was glad; he did not wish to believe his grandfather was on his deathbed. But everything seemed to indicate that the illness could very well claim him soon. The duke himself had said he did not expect to survive. Tobias rubbed his face with his hand, trying to dispel thoughts of his grandfather’s death.

“I am happy to be here with him,” he said. “But I cannot say that I am prepared for the idea of marriage.”

“Well, it happens to the best of us,” the marchioness said, giving her son a humorous wink.

Tobias could not help smiling at his mother’s joke.

“I know, Mother,” he said, grateful for the slight lightening of the mood. “And I knew that someday I would need to marry. I suppose I just hoped it would be in the more distant future.”

His mother nodded once more, smiling fondly at her son.

“Well, darling,” she said. “You are but three years away from being thirty years old. The distant future from now will likely see you on your deathbed and a bachelor.”

Tobias snorted.

“Would that be such a terrible thing?” he asked, only half-joking.

The dowager marchioness giggled, shaking her head.

“Oh, my darling,” she said, gazing at Tobias affectionately. “Truly, marriage is not such a bad thing. It can be wonderful, getting to spend your time and your life with someone who means the world to you. Of course, marriage has its trials and tribulations, but much of the time, it is a wonderful and happy thing.”

Tobias stared at his mother, his heart squeezing. Her expression was dreamy, and he knew she was thinking of his father. He knew she still missed him, as did Tobias. To hear her speak so warmly of the bond of marriage was as touching as it was depressing.

“You were very fortunate, Mother,” he said. “Both you and Father were. The two of you found a match born of love and passion. Not everyone is so lucky.”

The marchioness blinked, seeming to shake herself from her thoughts, and then she looked at her son.

“What makes you so sure you will not?” she asked.

Tobias looked at his mother once more, this time as though she were mad.

“This Season is already well under way,” he said. “It will be over before we know it. That is hardly enough time for me to fall in love with a woman, no matter how special and wonderful she might happen to be.”

The marchioness shrugged, her eyes shining with knowing mystery.

“None of us can possibly predict the future, darling,” she said. “I think you should not rule out any possibilities. Love could find you in the oddest of places and at the oddest of times.”

For some reason, he did not quite understand, the briefest of images of Miss Gibson’s face flashed through his mind. But it was gone before he could put a great deal of thought into it. His mother seemed to be missing the point of what he was saying and, even though she was trying to help reassure him, he was only growing more distressed.

“Perhaps,” he said. “But I would prefer better odds than the obscure chance that what you are saying will come to pass. The reality is that a marriage of convenience is the only way I shall be able to keep my word to Grandfather.”

His mother nodded slowly, her brow furrowing. Tobias felt guilty, certain he had put too much of a burden onto her. He knew she was already terribly distressed by the duke’s illness. He was her father-in-law and, while the two were not as close as the duke and his father had been, he knew she loved him and that he cared for her, as well.

Their family had always been fairly close, but also, he knew that the duke’s illness must be reminding her of losing her own husband. And here he was putting his woes onto her as if she did not have enough strain upon her already.

“Darling, I simply do not wish to see you worry yourself to death,” she said, eerily echoing his own sentiments. “I understand why you feel the way you do. But I really think you should not give up the hope of finding a way to keep your promise and make a happy future for yourself.”

Tobias nodded, giving his mother his best smile. He still did not quite believe her words, but he did not wish to continue lamenting aloud and keep dampening his mother’s spirits.

“Perhaps you are right,” he said. “It cannot hurt to go into this with an open mind and an open heart.”

The dowager marchioness tilted her head curiously.

“Go into what, dear?” she asked.

Tobias smiled, albeit sadly.

“Grandfather suggested that I court Lady Selina,” he said.

The marchioness stared at Tobias for a moment, her expression unreadable. Then, she raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

“Well, how do you feel about that?” she asked for the second time that morning.

Tobias chuckled, recalling the brief time he had spent with Lady Selina at the party before his grandfather had collapsed.

“As though I would rather search all over London until I do find a wife,” he said.

His mother looked bewildered for a moment. Then, she laughed.

“Is she so bad, darling?” she asked.

Tobias thought for a moment, then shook his head.

“No,” he said. “She is far worse.”

His mother giggled again, and Tobias was glad for the temporary reprieve from the burdens that were quickly piling onto him. But their light-hearted conversation was soon disrupted. The butler breezed into the room, clearing his throat lightly.

“I beg your pardon,” he said, bowing to Tobias and his mother. “But Dr. Gibson has arrived.”

Tobias sighed. He thanked the butler as he and his mother rose to greet the physician. He was glad his grandfather had such a good, wise doctor. But Dr. Gibson’s arrival was just another reminder of the situation at hand. And, as he followed his mother to the entryway, he could not help wondering if the physician had brought his daughter along too.

He was still unsure about her serving as any sort of medical practitioner, but he could not deny she was very beautiful. He shook off the thought as he and his mother prepared to greet the doctor and lead him to the duke’s bedchambers.