Cruel Surrender by Terri Anne Browning

Bain

She was drivingme out of my mind. Day after day, I followed her as I’d done before the island. If she sensed my presence when she was anywhere but at home, she never let on that she knew I was near. Not even by so much as a flicker of her thick lashes did she acknowledge that I was so close to her. Each hour, the many texts I sent went unanswered.

This no contact with her, being so close yet so far away, was pushing me to my limits. She was punishing me for every sin I’d ever committed, not only against her but every other person who’d dared to get in my way over the years. And while I would readily admit I deserved it, I wanted to beg her for mercy.

If she would only speak to me.

The walls of my apartment seemed to grow closer and closer, making the distance I paced from one side of my living room to the other seem smaller by the minute. The air in my lungs came faster, my breathing choppy as I raked my fingers through my hair. When I reached the wall where her pictures were hung, my shrine to Ciana that I added to nearly every day with a new picture I was able to take from a distance, I stopped in an attempt to calm myself.

In the newest addition to the wall, she was wearing black sweatpants with a matching hoodie. The PINK logo down her left leg told me she must have ordered them from the Victoria’s Secret website, because I’d never seen her wear them before, nor had she ventured to the mall since her return from the island back in February. It was now the beginning of June, the weather much too warm for sweats and thick sweaters, but if she wasn’t in her work scrubs, then baggy clothes were her go-to attire these days.

To hide the growing evidence of our babies.

The sweats hung off her, seeming a size too big, while the top spilled over one shoulder, showcasing the thick strap of a hot-pink sports bra. The typical heels she would have worn were absent, in their place, a simple pair of white athletic shoes. With her hair tossed up into a messy yet stylish bun, she looked like she was going for a run. But I knew that was the last thing she would have done.

She was too scared to do more than walk at a steady pace these days for fear of something happening to one of our babies. Ciana still hadn’t told me of her pregnancy, but to do that, she would have had to actually speak to me. And despite the millions of texts and voice mails I left for her, she had yet to answer her phone or return any of my desperate messages.

That didn’t matter, though. Darcy the NP kept me updated daily on everything Ciana. From how she was feeling, to how much she’d eaten at lunch, to any lab results or ultrasound pictures there might be to share with me. When Ciana was out of my sight, Darcy was there to fill in any blanks of what went on during my beauty’s waking hours while she was at work.

The downside to that was Darcy didn’t know what happened with Ciana on the weekends. But since she rarely even left the grounds of her family’s compound, I knew she was safe.

I was losing control. The tightly held leash I normally had on my emotions was growing frayed, and soon, I knew it would break completely. Work wasn’t even an afterthought at this point. Sheena, my men, the people expecting me to guide and lead them. None of them mattered. There was nothing but Ciana. If only she would speak to me. Put me out of my misery and allow me to hold her, touch her, show her all the love that needed to be released before I exploded and took her and the rest of the world down with me.

Groaning, I pressed my forehead against the wall beside the newest picture. I deftly stroked my fingers over the glass-covered photo, tracing her image from head to toe while I banged my head on the wall in an attempt to contain my desperation.

She was trying to hide her pregnancy, but what would she do once her stomach was too large to hide? Would she finally tell her family about me? Would she ever tell me herself that she was carrying the three most precious gifts I could ever be given?

I ached to be with her through every step of her pregnancy with our children, to feed her cravings, rub her aching muscles, maybe even feel the life growing inside her kick against my hand. But I understood that her lack of trust in me was standing in our way. Other than giving her time and space—or as much as I could without losing my damn mind—I didn’t know what else I could do to win back her trust.

The sound of my phone forced me to stop pounding my head against the wall. With a curse, I fished it out of my pocket and glanced at the screen to see it was Brody. “Yeah?” I snapped into the receiver.

“Boss, I think you should know, I’ve heard something that suggests Sheena is working with Manuel Ramirez. From what little I’ve been told so far, I think the two of them are planning something major.”

Frustrated, I ran a hand over my face. When I felt wetness on my forehead, I pulled my hand away to find it smeared in blood. A look at the wall showed a huge streak of blood across where I’d been pounding my head beside Ciana’s picture. I hadn’t even felt my flesh split open.

“Find out everything you can,” I instructed. Whatever it was, if it didn’t involve Ciana, then I didn’t care. Sheena’s time was running out anyway. “Keep me informed.”

“Will do, boss,” he assured me. “Also, I just got word that one of the Vitucci jets just left the airport.” I tensed at this new development. I knew Ciana was going to California that weekend for her cousin’s graduation, but that was still days away. “Miss Donati wasn’t on board. I believe it was Volkov with his wife and children.”

My free hand, still covered in my blood, balled into a fist. “Get back to me as soon as possible about any intel on either Sheena or Ramirez. Put someone on the Colombian if you have to.”

“On it, boss.”

With a groan, I walked through the penthouse to my en suite bathroom to clean up my face, leaving the blood on the wall. Once I had the gash on my forehead bandaged, I tried to call Ciana again.

I held my breath until I heard it ring. Each day I feared that it was the one when she finally blocked me so that I couldn’t even have that small contact with her. Even if I didn’t get to hear her voice or read her replies, I could at least talk to her. Maybe that was why I hadn’t already gone off the deep end and taken back what was mine. For the moment, I was allowing Ciana to have her freedom in hopes of earning back her trust, but I didn’t know how much longer I could give her space.

As the phone continued to ring, I began to pace once again, from one end of my bedroom to the other, until her voice mail finally kicked in. I paused, my eyes directed out my bedroom window, but all I could see was her, dressed in nothing but a smile as she walked toward me. A lump filled my throat, and I quickly tried to clear it before speaking.

“I love you, mo chroí,” I choked out before ending the connection.

Blowing out a heavy breath, I checked in with Declan for the first time in weeks—months? I wasn’t sure when the last time I’d spoken to him was, but I trusted him and Conor to handle anything business-related. They were both back in Ireland, but that didn’t mean they knew Sheena’s comings and goings. Even though I’d cut off her family funds, she still had limitless accounts of her own that, luckily for her, I couldn’t touch, or I would have frozen them as well.

Our conversation was brief, but he didn’t know where Sheena was. Cori was around, although she was no longer planning a wedding. I was surprised the little hoor wasn’t chasing after Sheena like the lapdog she was.

Creswell Springs,California, was a small town, mostly run by the local Angel’s Halo MC. Even the sheriff was in deep with them, so much so that he was married to the MC president’s daughter. It wasn’t a secret that the Vituccis spent a lot of time there, and it wasn’t unusual for the residents to see a couple limos driving casually through the town.

But any newcomer stuck out like a neon sign. It was the kind of place where everyone knew everyone and their business. I didn’t make it a mile past the city limits before I knew I wasn’t going to be able to follow Ciana while she was there for her cousin’s graduation.

Pissed that I would have to wait days to see her again, I found a place just outside of the county so that I was at least close to her. With the tracking app I’d had Darcy put on Ciana’s phone, I knew where she was at all times throughout the agonizingly long weekend.

Once she was on her way to the airport, I told my pilot we could take off so that I would be on the ground waiting when she returned. While I was away, Brody had kept me apprised of what Sheena was up to. Apparently she and the Colombian had tried to make a move on the Vituccis’ warehouse by the docks. It wasn’t a secret that was where they stored their cocaine shipments when they first arrived in the city. The security for it was close to impenetrable, but that hadn’t stopped Sheena from trying.

I figured it was just a ploy to play with Ryan, because he was rumored to be over the blow supply. His father had been stepping back, turning over more and more responsibilities to him, and enjoying his new free time with his wife and daughter. Ryan and I might not look like we were related, but I had to admit we were very similar in other aspects. The way he was quick to contain any problem reminded me of myself.

Or rather, the me I had been before meeting Ciana.

After instructing Brody to keep both Sheena and Ramirez under surveillance, I didn’t give the incident another thought. I didn’t care what she did to Ryan or anyone else in the Vitucci family. As long as she left Ciana alone, I didn’t give a fuck what she did anymore.

Maybe if I had, it would have saved everyone a lot of misery.

Instead, it was one more major mistake that would haunt me.