Cruel Surrender by Terri Anne Browning

Ciana

Growing up,I’d never once been nervous to face my mother when I’d gotten into trouble for any reason. She’d always been a strict but loving parent, and I’d never feared her reaction to any mistakes I made.

But as I stared at the house that Nova had said would be my new home for however long I felt I needed it, I couldn’t help gulping as I pictured Scarlett Donati inside waiting for me. The mistakes I’d made over the past year weren’t minuscule like those from my childhood and teens. I’d put people I loved in danger, had turned my back on my family, and stupidly stayed with a man I thought loved me.

How could my mother ever forgive me for any of those things?

Wiping my sweat-dampened hands on my pants, I glanced down to make sure Alessia was still sound asleep against my chest before climbing the few steps to the front porch. It was a surprisingly mild day for Russia in January, but we were all still bundled up. The house was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded on either side by dense forests and mountains. Someone would have to know this place already existed with its exact coordinates, or they would never find it.

As I got to the top step, the front door opened, and all I saw was a whirl of red hair before I was being wrapped in the world’s best hug. Tears filled my eyes as I hugged Mama back, breathing in the soothingly familiar scent of her shampoo and the light fragrance of her perfume.

“My baby,” she cried in Italian as she stepped back just enough to run her hands over my hair, my face, the top half of my body. Her brown eyes, so like my own, taking in everything about my appearance. “Ciana, are you hurt?”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shook my head. “No, Mama. I’m fine.”

She released a heavy, pent-up breath. “Thank God,” she whispered. Then Alessia made a snuffling noise against my chest. As tiny as she still was, she always woke up hungry.

Mama gasped, her hand covering her mouth as she looked down at her granddaughter for the first time.

“Mama, this is Alessia.”

“She’s beautiful,” she whispered. A tear spilled over her lashes as she touched Alessia’s back.

My youngest daughter’s eyes finally opened, and she smiled up at me, as she always did, before realizing we weren’t alone. She turned her head, her eyes narrowing much like her father’s did when he was assessing any unknown situation. God, she looked and acted so much like Bain, it melted my heart even as it lay broken in my chest.

Behind me, Nova and Anya were waiting patiently, each of them carrying one of the other two babies. Noticing them, Mama ran down the steps. Kella, who tended to be the more adventurous of the three, saw her and let out a squeal. Laughing, her grandmother took her from Nova’s arms.

“Hello, precious girl. I’m your nonna,” she murmured, kissing Kella’s hand when she touched Mama’s face. “What is your name?”

“That is Kella,” I introduced. “And Tetka has Elda.”

“Hello, Elda,” Mama greeted the other baby, who was watching her with open curiosity from Anya’s arms. “You look just like your mama when she was a baby. I swear, Ciana,” she called over her shoulder, “I have pictures of you that would pass for Elda.”

Alessia began to fuss, wanting her meal, and we took our reunion into the house. It was a two-story house, but it wasn’t very big, more like a cabin than anything. An open living room and kitchen combo took up the entire downstairs, while upstairs was just two small bedrooms and a single bathroom. It was well heated, though, so that was all that mattered.

By the time Papa arrived, Anya and Nova were already on their way home. I wasn’t nearly as nervous to see him as I’d been to see Mama. Not two seconds after he walked through the front door, I was being wrapped in one of his bear hugs. No sooner were my feet on the floor than he was falling in love with all three of his granddaughters, just as Mama had.

With the craziness of getting to the cabin, I hadn’t had much time to think about what Bain might be doing. Now that things had calmed down, and the girls were being smothered in love by their grandparents, all I could do was think about my husband.

There was no way he didn’t know I was gone at this point. Someone would have alerted him to what had happened and that the girls and I were gone. He probably wouldn’t have cared about my absence, but he wouldn’t rest until his daughters were back with him.

Papa was rocking Kella by the fire, and the other two babies were sound asleep in their bassinets nearby. Needing some air, I grabbed my coat and went to sit on the porch. The temperature was noticeably colder now, and I could smell the crispness of snow in the distance. Wrapping my arms around myself, I sat on the top step and looked up at the cloud-covered moon, wondering what Bain was doing right then.

How pathetic was it that I missed him? The man had left me to go to his mistress, and I found myself wishing he were there beside me, enjoying the beauty of the Russian wilderness, the peacefulness of the quiet, our girls safely in the arms of their grandfather, and my mother cooking pancakes for dinner.

It had been two days since Anya and Nova had left, and during that entire time, I’d been expecting one or both to call and say that Bain had torn the compound apart in search of the girls. That I hadn’t gotten that call made me wonder if he was so lost in Cori that he’d given up his babies as well as me. Ridiculously enough, it pissed me off that he hadn’t gone off the rails.

Fuck, did we really mean nothing to him now? Was he relieved that he no longer had us to worry about?

A tear spilled free without permission, and I curled into myself, wanting to hide from the pain in my heart.

The sound of heavy-duty, four-wheel-drive vehicles in the distance caught my attention just as the front door opened behind me. Mama stepped out, her phone to her ear. “Fine, Anya. If you think this is best. Yes, I hear them in the distance now. No, no. The girls are all asleep. So is Ciro.” When I looked up at her, she had a small smile on her face. “Yes, I took pictures. He had a little drool on his mouth as he held Kella while they both slept in that rocking chair.”

A smile teased at my own lips at the mental picture that filled my head. And then the rest of what Mama said made sense. The vehicles in the distance. Tetka was coming back? It had only been two days.

“Is something wrong?” I asked Mama as she hung up.

Sighing, she sat down beside me on the top step. “Let’s just trust Anya on this, okay?”

I didn’t like how cryptic that answer was, but I trusted her and Tetka with not only my life, but those of my babies.

Mama took one of my hands in hers, rubbing my fingers to warm them. I leaned my head against her shoulder. I’d missed her so damn much.

When the two SUVs pulled up in front of the house, the huge snowflakes had started to fall. Smiling, I caught one in my free hand and watched as it melted while the driver of the first SUV got out and opened the back door.

Ryan stepped out, and my smile dropped, my heart suddenly racing. His brown eyes went straight to me, and I sat up straighter, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip. Without a word, he reached inside and dragged someone out.

“Fuck,” Mama muttered as her nephew pulled Bain from the vehicle.

My eyes were glued to my husband as he stumbled out. His hands were tied behind his back, and he had a blindfold over his eyes. Between the porch lights and those of the vehicles, I could see every aspect of him easily, and what I saw made my heart stop.

His face was as pale as death. It was obvious he hadn’t eaten in days, because in the short amount of time since I’d last seen him, he’d lost a considerable amount of weight, causing his clothes to practically hang off him. I jumped to my feet, not sure if I wanted to run away from or to him.

The back door to the second vehicle opened, and Anya and Nova stepped out. Without wasting a single second, Anya pulled a gun from under her long trench coat and cocked it before pressing the barrel to the back of my husband’s head.

My scream echoed off the mountains, causing Bain’s head to snap in my direction. “Wh-what are you doing?” I demanded, stumbling down the steps toward them.

Ryan lifted a hand, stopping me in my tracks. “You are going to listen to what he has to say and then make a choice,” he instructed me in a hard voice. “If, when he’s finished, you decide you still want him, I’ll release him.” He lifted a shoulder in a casual half shrug. “But if you decide he’s not worth your time, Mom will kill him, and you will be free.”

My heart was in my throat, making it impossible to speak. This was pure insanity, and it was making me dizzy. Gasping for air, I reached out blindly, and Mama was there to steady me.

“Ciana, are you okay?” Bain demanded, his voice hoarse. I struggled to breathe. “Mo chroí, answer me!”

Sucking in a deep breath, I tried to calm down enough to find my voice. “I-I…I’m very confused,” I finally whispered.

“Ciana, Bain showed up at the compound when Anya and I got home,” Nova explained. “He looked like hell, and after a short chat, we all thought he should have the chance to speak to you. What you do with what he says, however, is completely your decision. You have two choices. Take him back, or watch him die.”

I nearly fell to my knees, but I couldn’t contain my sobs.

“Don’t cry, my beauty,” Bain soothed. “Just listen. Whatever you decide, everything will be fine, I promise.”

“Your promises mean nothing,” I snapped through my tears. “What the fuck are they worth when you ran to Cori the moment you decided I was no longer worth your time.”

“That’s bullshit,” he growled, his arms twisting against his restraints.

“You couldn’t get to Ireland fast enough. Was it worth it?”

Groaning, he turned his head in Ryan’s direction. “Untie me. I need my hands on her.”

“Not happening,” he gritted out.

Cursing, Bain shifted his head back in my direction. “I took Cori Declan’s head, and then I killed her. Conor has been sending her pieces of his body every week since I killed him. To scare her, remind her that her time was running out. I wanted it dragged out for as long as possible so that every shadow, every small noise, would make her afraid. It was what she deserved for her role in hurting you that night.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring down at him. “You were so excited to leave. I’ve never heard that kind of emotion in your voice.”

“When and what did you hear, Ciana?” he asked, his brows pulled together in confusion.

“A few days before you left. You were in the nursery and talking to Conor on the phone. I heard everything through the baby monitor.”

He groaned. “Why didn’t you just ask me about it then, woman? I would have told you everything then and there. I was excited because Conor told me that Nova was alive, and I had him working on getting me evidence so that when I got back, I could tell you about it. Instead, you had to draw your own conclusions and destroy us both?”

“I wasn’t about to ask my husband if he was going to go fuck his mistress!” I yelled. “I could barely find the strength to ask you not to leave the night before your trip. And then you got annoyed with me, and I realized Cori was who you really wanted. I won’t beg for your love, Bain. If you don’t want me, then fine. Go, live your life.”

“What life?” he shouted back. “I have no life without you. I love you so much I can’t fucking breathe without you. As for wanting you, I’ve been walking around half bent over because I’ve been aching for you, mo chroí.”

“Yeah, okay,” I said with a snort. “Obviously, you’ve wanted me so bad. You barely even kiss me.”

“Because I didn’t want to rush you. I did that once, and I lost you. This time, it had to be your choice when we finally made love. I thought, by being patient, I was showing you that you mean more to me than anything. Not the sex, not even the babies. You, Ciana. Nothing and no one but you.”

The conviction in his voice gave me pause. “But…you couldn’t get away fast enough for that stupid trip to Ireland.”

“The trip wasn’t just to deal with Cori. That was a quick stop, and then I was on to the real reason.”

“Which was?” I snipped when he left it at that.

“Our island,” he murmured softly. “The place where we were the happiest until Sheena ruined everything. I bought it for us.”

“What?” I yelped, my breath catching. “But… No. You were just joking, and I told you—”

“That you would feel guilty for costing all those people their jobs,” he finished. “We can discuss all of that after you decide…if you still want to be with me.”

“I want to kill you myself right now!” I snapped, frustrated with him. All he did was twist me inside out. I wanted to slap him—and kiss him. He had the ability to make me love him and want to murder him all in the same moment. “Why do you have to do everything the hard way? All I want is for you to love me, and you just…just…”

“Because you are the first person I’ve ever loved. I fuck up. I make mistakes. But I’m trying. You’ve taught me so much, my beauty. About how to love you and our babies.” His voice cracked. “I just need you to have patience with me and continue to teach me how to be the man you need and deserve.”

Tears spilling down my face, I turned away from him.

“Is that your answer?” Tetka asked, and I heard the safety being flipped on the gun.

My heart stopped. “Wh-what?”

She cocked a brow at me. “You’re walking away. Does that mean you’re done with him?”

“No!” I screamed. “I love him. Please, Tetka, please don’t kill him.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, curious. “I mean, he shot your brothers. And he broke your heart. He will probably do it over and over again in the future. Obviously, he has no idea what he’s doing where you are concerned.”

“I don’t care that he keeps messing up,” I cried. “He’s trying. I know he is. He just needs me to help him.”

“Can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same if someone had been standing between Nova and me,” Ryan commented. “It wouldn’t matter who it was. Even you, Mom.”

A heavy huff came from behind me. “As much as it pains me, I have to agree,” Papa muttered, and I realized he’d come outside. “Release him, Anya.”

Ryan pulled a knife and sliced through Bain’s bindings, then did the same with the blindfold. The moment he could see again, Bain was on his feet, and suddenly, I was in his arms. As soon as I felt him against me, everything seemed to fall into place, and the world felt right again.

Sobbing, I threw my arms around him. His hands shook as he cupped the back of my head, kissing me harder than he’d ever done before. When he finally lifted his head, we were both breathing heavily. “I’m never letting you go,” he vowed. “You will never be out of my sight again. I couldn’t take it, mo chroí.”

“You’re such an idiot,” I sobbed. “I thought—”

“Stop thinking,” he grumbled, kissing me again. “I love you, Ciana. My world starts and ends with you. That’s the only thing you ever need to remember. As long as you know that, then nothing else matters.”