Twisted Complications by Nikita Parmenter
Chapter Eighteen
“I’ll fill the other two in later.” Trick says.
“Good idea, let’s watch a movie. We’ve got a couple of hours before we need to get ready for the party.” Riot suggests.
They all stay close to me and I find my gaze drifting to Rage. It took a hell of a lot of courage to admit what he did. I was going to explain it myself. As much as I understand it anyway. I didn’t get triggered while I was still with my dad because my guard was up at all times. Having a panic attack means being left vulnerable and your brain goes into fight mode to protect itself. So, it buries all the bad and when you leave the situation, you start to realise that things can trigger you.
At least, that’s the gist I got from the website I read. I began to worry I really was broken when I started to get more and more panic attacks. Apparently, it’s normal.
I guess that’s reassuring.
I want to try and help Rage but I’m not sure how well it will go down.
“Rage,” I say softly, and he glances over at me. I really hope I don’t mess this up. “Have you tried to initiate the hug with a woman? You said your mom and aunts always hugged you right?” He nods, cautiously. “Well, you might find that because you initiate and it’s on your terms, that you can do it.” I shrug, “Just a suggestion.”
He studies me for so long that I begin to squirm. The guys all ignore our conversation and pretend they can’t hear, despite them being snuggled up to me.
“Thank you, Puddin’. I might just try that.” He says, turning back to the film.
I breathe out a sigh of relief, that really could’ve gone the other way, but I’m really happy he seemed to take it on board. Halfway through the movie, Trick gets up and motions for Rage too as well.
“You can explain it better than I can.” He mutters as they leave the room.
When they all come back, Luc immediately comes over to me and holds his hands out to me, I take them and he pulls me up wrapping his arms around me as he pulls me to his chest.
“I’m so sorry, Firecracker.” He mutters.
“Not your fault.” I reply quietly.
“I know, please, please tell me if anything like that happens again?” He asks, leaning back and gently tucking my hair behind my ears as his eyes lock with mine.
“I promise.” I vow.
“Good. What time’s the party?” He asks, turning us to face the rest of them.
“In a couple of hours, it’s around a forty-five-minute drive so we need to start getting ready. There’ll be fires, there’s the cabin, but it’ll mostly be outside, so dress warm.” Atlas says, getting up and stretching.
We all go to our separate rooms to change; I decide to leave my jeans on but swap my tank for a long sleeved grey Henley and then add a black zip up hoodie, I’ll add my doc’s and bike jacket when we leave. My hair has been up in a messy bun for most of the day so when I take it out it falls in soft waves down my back, it doesn’t look too bad, so I decide to leave it. Since it’s a party and I should probably make some kind of effort for it, I re-do my normal make up but add a line of liquid eyeliner along my top lid and some dark red gloss to my lips for a bit of colour. Strapping my knives on in various places where they won’t be seen, I’m good to go.
We haven’t eaten dinner yet, but I don’t feel like cooking and I doubt Rafe does either, so we can just grab pizza on the way back. I hope we’re not out too late tonight, while I’m glad for the opportunity to let off some steam and have some fun, I’m tired and we do have school tomorrow, if I have any hope of actually graduating this place, then I need to start going to lessons, not that the missed lessons have been my fault.
Shit, I really do need a night out.
I make it downstairs, not the first one for a change, the guys all ready to go and just waiting for me, it looks like they all pretty much decided to stay in what they were already wearing like me.
“We’ll take two cars again.” Trick says as his eyes run over me appreciatively.
I smirk.
We all split up into the separate cars and I once again find myself wishing for my bike.
“Cash, how long did your guy say it was going to be until we got our cars back?”
“A couple of weeks maybe, there’s been a delay with them. My fault, I asked them to pick up our bikes too. Our road legal ones are all kept in one of the garages at my place for the winter. Apparently, Mom gave them the third degree until they could finally get a word in edgewise and tell her the safe word, proving it was me who sent for them.” Cash grins.
I chuckle, that sounds like Kat. I miss her.
“I can’t wait to have my bike back.” I sigh wistfully.
“I’m missing my car too. I love travelling all together, but sometimes you just need to go for a drive.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
The car falls silent, each of us lost in our own worlds. My eyes drift to outside and I watch the world whizz by. Unlike before, we’re sticking to mostly country lanes, vast fields, and wooded verges, it all looks very pretty in the dying light. Finally, we bump our way down a long dirt track and arrive at the lake house. It’s fairly simple in design, with a wraparound porch and two stories tall. It’s not overtly large like the boy’s cabin but it’s definitely not small either and lands somewhere in between the two. There are fairy lights strung between most of the trees and around the house, enough that you can see pretty clearly. The actual house doesn’t seem to be open at all, but there’s drinks tables all along the wide porch. Cars are parked just in front of it and to the left is a wide grassy area where kids are dancing. I can just about make out a couple of bonfires blazing, down on the shore of the lake. There’s even a couple of small boats out on the water.
Most of the kids are dressed warmly like us, but there are the odd few girls who apparently thought that mini dresses and heels were an appropriate choice for a lake house party in winter.
I hop out of the car and slam the door behind me.
“Come on, let’s go get a drink.” Atty grins.
We make our way through the throngs of people, everyone moving out of the way and glancing at Atty warily.
“They’ve got whiskey, Sunshine. Sealed bottle.” Riot grins as he hands me a red plastic cup of whiskey.
“Thanks.” I smile, taking a sip.
I don’t want to get drunk tonight, there are a lot of people I don’t know here and not only is that enough of a reason to not get drunk, but I don’t want to make it easy on the fuckers after me.
There’s a lot of preppy looking rich boys here and it occurs to me that I probably should have warned the guys about the possible trigger. I’ll tell them as soon as we settle somewhere. As we weave through the dance floor, I spot Peter dancing with a sandy haired guy with a swimmer’s build; he’s cute. Peter spots me and I wave pointing to the guy and mouthing he’s hot. His grin is huge as he mouths back; he’s hung too. I burst out laughing as the guy turns around and raises his eyebrow at me grinning.
“What was that about?” Jensen asks, sounding amused.
“Just talking to Peter.” I chuckle. “Let’s dance!”
I manage to convince Jensen, Riot, Luc, and Cash to come dance with me, the others choosing to stand and look broody, guarding the drinks.
We dance in a group at first, Peter and his partner dancing with us, it’s nice to see Peter in a more relaxed environment. He always seems so tense at the school, but then he did say on our first day, that the school was filled with idiots who didn’t understand that men could like men. Eventually, the guys all commandeer me for their own dances. Each one of them dances with me differently and when Cash pulls me into his arms as we move to the music, he sings his voice smooth downright panty melting.
Me and Jensen end up having a dad dance move, dance off. After a while Peter even joins in with some truly ridiculous dad moves of his own.
“My dad is the king of dad dance moves; except he thinks that they’re excellent and what all the kids are dancing like these days.” He explains rolling his eyes.
“Sounds like great fun at parties.” I chuckle.
“With you guys sure, but at functions where the stuck-up shits from our school are attending with their parents, it becomes a nightmare.”
“Fuck ‘em.” Jensen says.
“I wish it was that easy.” Peter sighs shaking his head.
“It is,” I shrug. “You don’t care about what your dad dances like in front of anyone else, right? Just the fuckers at our school?”
“Well, yeah.” He frowns.
“Then fuck what they think. They don’t matter in the long run. I know that you’re all here to make connections and that but really, they’ll make the connections if you’ve got something they want. So long as you make sure that your business is strong and somewhat exclusive, then it won’t matter to them what your dad looks like.” I shrug.
“I’ve been telling him that ever since we started here.” His boyfriend says. “I’m Nate. We’ve been dancing for an hour and I just realised I didn’t tell you my name.”
“We were a bit busy.” Cash grins, “I’m Cash.”
He starts to tell him our names, but Nate just holds his hand up, “Oh, I know who you guys are. You’re all the school is talking about. Well, Ever is.”
“Should’ve figured.” I chuckle.
I glance over my shoulder feeling like someone’s watching me, I can’t see anyone though, the guys are all involved in their own conversation, none of them looking my way, so I know that it’s not them. It feels different than when they watch me though. I dismiss it as just curiosity, I’m a new face here after all.
“I’m going to go get another drink.” I say.
“Wait up, I’ll come with you.” Peter adds.
Riot starts to follow, and I pause, “You shouldn’t be going off by yourself at the moment.” He says quietly.
“It’s okay, I’m not by myself. Peter’s with me and don’t forget he takes combat and weapons handling at school. He’s more capable of helping me out if I need it than most. You stay here, I’ll be back in a minute.”
He hesitates for a minute.
“It’s alright man, I’ve got her.” Peter reassures him, I didn’t realise he was stood close enough to hear.
Riot smiles tightly and nods.
I kiss him softly, before following Peter back towards the house and the drinks.
“Bit protective, aren’t they?” Peter grins.
“Oh yeah, you have no idea. They forget sometimes that I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”
“Of that, I have absolutely no doubt.” He grins winking at me.
I grab a beer this time, despite my dislike of them, it’s the only thing that hasn’t been opened on the table. Peter does the same.
“Hold my beer a minute, I just need the bathroom. I’ll be back out in a second.”
“Sure, no problem.” I smile taking his beer off him.
It starts to get a bit crowded by the drinks table, so I move further down the porch. When I get to the end, I realise that it actually goes all the way down this side too. There are no lights decorating this end, so I lean against the railing, resting my arms on it and looking out at the rest of the party, smiling. It’s been nice, to just have fun for a while and behave our age. I chuckle as I see Jensen start dancing on one of the picnic benches clearly having the time of his life.
My beer smashes against the decking below as a hand wraps around my mouth a large body pulling me back towards the darkened end of the wrap around porch. I slam my elbow into his gut, making him grunt in pain, and stomp down on his foot.
“Stop.” He growls, menacingly.
That single word has me freezing not because I do as I’m told, but because that voice takes me back to a completely different time.
No, it can’t be, what would he be doing out here?
He turns and slams me against the wall of the house, pressing in close. I look up at his not so pretty face as he stares at me his dark eyes filled with hate. How can he be here and why the fuck am I frozen? I can take care of myself better than I could back then I could end him within seconds, logically I know this, so why am I frozen?
He runs his fingers across my cheek as he leans over me, he’s obviously had some work done since I can’t see the word I carved into his forehead anymore. His right eye still droops at the corner where the scar from my knife drags it down. His other hand skims up my leg as I start shaking, I can’t help the whimper that escapes me, my throat closed with terror and unable to make another sound as memories assault me.
“I thought we’d pick up where we left off,” He grins, his eyes filled with perverted glee at my obvious terror. “I figure you owe me for doing this. All the girls in school now avoid me thanks to you carving rape into my forehead.”
“Good.” I say shakily.
He slams his fist by my head making me flinch, but causing a big enough bang that I hope like hell someone fucking heard it. His laugh is sadistic as he finds my flinch amusing. His hand starts travel up my side and I internally scream at myself to fucking do something. In this situation with this fucking deranged pervert, I’m completely powerless, I’m frozen in fear and I hate myself for it.
Not only are the memories from when he had me like this last trying to drag me under, but the memories of Jeremy and the back hallway at the diner are trying to emerge too.
His other hand comes up and forcefully grabs hold of my jaw as he moves his head to kiss me.
“Found her!” I suddenly hear Peter yell as thundering footsteps head towards me.
Not so pretty rich boy is suddenly yanked away from me as Trick and Rage start to beat the shit out of him. I collapse in a heap on the floor, shaking, my breathing coming in harsh pants. Peter crashes to his knees next to me and reaches a hand out to comfort me, making me flinch hard. He pulls his hand back and glances over at the guys. His eyes sad.
“Guys!” He yells and I flinch again. “I’m sorry Sugar, I’m just getting their attention I promise.”
I nod, “O-okay.”
“Trick, Rage!” He yells finally getting their attention. “Ever needs you!”
They immediately leave a bloodied Not so pretty on the floor, as soon as they move away though he leaps to his feet somewhat, wobbly, gives me a look that promises retribution and then takes off back down the porch heading to the throngs of partiers. Trick and Rage immediately get down to my level. Rage needing no prompting on what to do and they slowly approach.
“I’m here Sweetheart.” Trick says softly, opening his arms.
I want to go to him, but I’m still frozen in fear and my breathing is still erratic.
“Triggered?” Rage asks softly, and Peter’s eyes ping between us all understanding filling them.
I manage to nod, and Rage’s eyes grow dark with anger.
“I’m going to pick you up now, Sweetheart and take you to the guys. Is that okay?”
“Y-yes please.” I force out through clenched teeth.
Trick carefully picks me up, my legs wrap around his waist and my arms lock around his neck, clinging on as tight as I can.
“I’m going to touch your back okay, Puddin’?” Rage says softly as we walk, and I nod.
I need all the positive touch I can get right now to chase away the bad. Rage’s touch is hesitant at first, but when he realises that I didn’t flinch, he becomes more confident, gently running his hand up and down my back. It works to slowly loosen my muscles, although my breathing is still ragged.
“What happened?” Atlas demands as soon as we get back to the table we claimed as ours.
“Easy brother.” Rage warns, “She’s been triggered, give her a minute.”
Atlas growls but stays silent.
Luc suddenly appears in my line of sight and his eyes widen at whatever he sees.
“Trick, you need to sit her on the table. Get behind her and support her, if we don’t sort her breathing out, she’s going to pass out.”
“Fuck.” Trick curses moving towards the table.
Peter sweeps everyone’s drinks off the table with a flourish that I’ll take the mick out of him for, when I can breathe. Trick gently places me on the table and I reluctantly let go of him as he moves behind me and wraps his arms around me, Luc moves in front of me and gently places his hands on my knees as the others gather around us.
“Eyes on me Firecracker, just like you did for me the other night at the table.” He starts and the guys look at him sharply. “In and out nice and slowly.”
We breathe like that until I’ve calmed down and I smile shakily, finally taking a proper full breath.