Rancher’s Christmas Storm by Maisey Yates
Thirteen
By the time Honey got back to the winery that night, she felt gritty. Tired. She was glad she had persevered through the entire holiday, but she hadn’t always been the best company, and... She hadn’t minded.
She had spoken her piece. And she had been honest about how she felt, and from her perspective that was some pretty decent growth.
Good for her. She had emotional growth. She did not, however, have the love of her life.
She saw headlights, and her heart stopped. She looked out the window of her little house, and she stared.
Was it Jericho?
It was a big ass truck.
He would go to the house. He wouldn’t come talk to her.
Except he pulled right up out front, and he turned the engine off.
Like he intended to stay a bit.
She paced back and forth for a second, and then she decided to take action.
She flung the door open. “Have you come to cause more damage? Because I warn you, I am not in a space to make stupid men comfortable by minimizing my feelings.”
“You sound like my sister,” he said.
“Your sister?”
“Yeah. McKenna.”
That made something in her chest tighten. “Oh. So that went well.”
“Yeah. I’m going to have to see them again another time. Because I realized that I needed to get back here.”
“Why?”
“I realized I needed to get back to you.”
“Back to me?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Because I realized that I was being a coward. You said that you love me and I couldn’t handle it. Because it reminded me of grief. You know why I hated Christmas so much? Because it almost made me feel happy. And it gave me this terrible sense that there was joy out there in the world, and all these people were feeling it. And I felt like I was standing on the outside of it. Able to feel just the edges of it. But never the whole thing. Like I could see the light in this dark winter, but I could never really... I can never really stand in it. It reminded me of that. You offering me your love. Like I was standing on the edge of something beautiful but I didn’t know how to take it.”
“Jericho...”
“I want it. I want all of it. I want you and me and I want to love you. And I want you to show me. And I need you to have all your emotions, Honey. I need them to be as big and bright as Christmas Day. I need them to be bigger and brighter than the sun, because I need to feel them. Because I need... I need that joy. I need more than the darkness.”
Her heart expanded, full to bursting. “I need it too,” she said, flinging herself into his arms. “I love you.”
“You’re not even going to make me suffer?”
“We’ve both suffered enough,” she said.
And that was the damned truth. It truly was. They had both suffered enough.
And what he found was that even though it filled his chest, love wasn’t heavy. Not really. It wasn’t light, but it didn’t weigh them down. And it lit up the dark corners of his soul with all the brilliance of midday.
With the promise of Christmas. And joy to the world. But most especially and finally, to him.
They had been caught in the storm, but the biggest storm had been raging inside of him all this time. And now it was like the sun had come out from behind the clouds. And everything was gold.
Gold like Honey.
“I love you,” he said. And while he did, he imagined himself setting his fear down on the floor and leaving it there. Dropping bits and pieces of grief, of doubt. Because all he wanted to carry was her. He wanted to fill his arms with her, fill his chest with her. Forever.
“I love you too,” she said. “I’m really glad I didn’t burn this place to the ground.”
“What?”
“You know, just something I considered. When I was furious at you and convinced that I couldn’t have everything that I wanted.”
“And what do you think now?”
“That I’ll take everything I want and then some. Because why should we settle? That’s what we’ve been doing. Deciding that people like us—who have experienced a measure of tragedy—that we don’t get to have the full measure of happiness. But I say we do it. I say we claim it.”
“That sounds like a great idea.”
And he kissed her. With no doubt or shame, and a whole lot of love.
And he knew that he would be doing it for the rest of his life.
