Hotshot and Hospitality by Nora Everly

Chapter 31

Molly

The sun was almost up but I was off the clock. We’d checked the last of the guests out yesterday afternoon and we were free until Monday. Landon wanted the party to go off without a hitch and he decided we could all use a weekend off.

Being alone in this melancholy mood was stupid, so I’d gotten dressed and wandered over to the inn to check out the brand-new kitchen. I moved one of the new barstools to the exact spot the old one had sat in and looked around the gleaming new space while thinking of my dad. He’d always wanted to remodel it just like this. I was worried my melancholy would head into maudlin, so I had hopes that one of my brothers would be here soon.

“Yo.” I spun in my stool to see Jordan and Cam standing in the new half door that led out to the parking lot. They were working the same shift at the mill this week and were still dressed in their work clothes. They were probably here in search of food. Leo had done a huge grocery shop while Garrett’s crew was finishing up yesterday. The shiny new fridge was fully stocked.

“Landon and Leo are upstairs with Abbie,” I informed Jordan.

“Not anymore. Last night they drove her to spend the night with Ev and Willa, plus all of Wyatt’s kids, except for the baby. I think even Sadie’s boys are there.”

“Whoa. I didn’t know that. That’s a whole bunch of kids.”

“They wanted the practice. And Everett is like a big kid anyway. They want a huge family, so—” He shrugged.

“That’s insane. I mean, yeah, he is a big kid, and Willa is awesome, but it’s still insane.” I marveled while suddenly picturing a bigger, even more well-lit, less murder-woodsy version of Garrett’s cabin filled to the brim with kids of our own—and Stan. My sigh was both dramatic and tragic. I let my head drop to my arm on the counter.

“Right? One is a handful, let alone five. But I’m not saying no to a day off.” Jordan uncapped a beer using the edge of the counter.

“Don’t let Leo catch you doin’ that on his new counter,” Cam said before grabbing his own beer and pointedly taking the magnetic bottle opener off the fridge to open his own bottle. “You want a beer, Molls? I sense you may need one based on your not-so-subtle head flop on the counter.”

“No, since it’s morning.” I shook my head.

“Not for us,” Jordan replied. “We worked all night. Tell us what to do, Molly. If someone is the cause of that hurt look on your face, just tell us who to maim.”

“She’s seeing Garrett and I’m not going after him, man,” Cam said. “He’s family. Tell us how to help you, Molls.”

I lifted my head because, huh? These two would usually rather knock heads together than talk about stuff. “What?”

“Tell us what the problem is.” Cam sat next to me and ruffled my hair.

“Who even are you right now, Cam? And how do you even know about—”

“You are the worst at sneaking around,” Jordan said as he leaned against the counter right across from me to sip his beer and make fun of me. “And Garrett doesn’t even try. Yeah, he parks his truck behind the dumpster, but come the fuck on, y’all are terrible at this secret shit. Plus, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but you’re not exactly quiet, you know. I’ve heard things no brother should ever hear. I’m traumatized! I may never be the same, Molly. And as payback for the therapy I need yet sadly can’t afford, we will give you shit for this for the rest of your life.”

“What? Nooooooo . . .” I breathed as horror flowed into my system. Garrett made me feel good and I liked to express it. But crap, was I really that loud?

Cam laughed. “Yeah, I heard y’all banging in the treehouse at least—” He turned to Jordan. “What, like two times, right? Once was way more than enough, but like Jordan said, after the second time? Scarred for life.”

“Yup, I don’t take Abbie to play in there anymore.” Jordan nudged my arm with a laugh.

“I don’t want to hear this.” I lifted a hand to remove my hearing aid. I knew it was immature, but they were my big brothers and used to my shit.

Cam grabbed my hand with a laugh. “No way, Molls. We had to hear you banging Garrett, so consider this your penance. What y’all are doing ain’t the big secret you think it is. Everyone knows and nobody cares. We love y’all, and if banging my dude Garrett makes you happy? Then do it. Get married and bang your way into eternity together.”

“Stop saying bang. Can a person cringe to death? Because I am literally about to die right now.” I slapped Cam’s arm. Then I slapped it again, and then one more time because ew, ew, ew.

“The banging is not the big secret.” We all turned as Leo entered the room from the stairwell that led to the top floor apartment.

“It’s Dad. It’s Becky Lee and Bill. It’s you, Molly,” Landon said, he had followed behind him to join us.

I got up to leave. I was not interested in getting real with them right now, or ever. But I sat at the table in the bay window instead. Maybe I should listen to them. I couldn’t hurt more than I already did. I might as well go down the complete spiral and hit bottom. Maybe I could climb out of it if I listened for a change.

Cam and Jordan exchanged a look. “You really should start having dinner with us on Fridays, Molly.”

I sat in my chair, staring out the window and shaking my head.

“Grief needs to be seen, sweetheart. Not hidden away inside your heart. Have dinner with us on Fridays like we always beg you to. Please? It’s time,” Landon added.

“We didn’t move on either, Molly, if that’s what you think,” Jordan added. “We didn’t let go of Dad once and then it’s finished. We let go of him every day. Over and over. Every time I look at Abbie, I see his eyes. It’s uncanny and it kills me every time, but I’m not going to hide from my own kid. I can’t do that, can I? You need to quit hiding out, Molls.”

“We miss him too, and talking helps. You don’t have to keep doing this alone,” Jordan chimed in.

“What? Why are you telling me this now?” I demanded.

“Because you’re finally sitting down to listen,” Landon shot back. “You’re sitting in a chair and not halfway out the door with some excuse. You’re never still.”

Leo sat in the chair next to mine and held my hand. “We got you, Molls. I promise you. We’re never leaving. Ever.”

“You can’t say that! No one can say that and really mean it because you don’t know!” I shouted, sick of hearing the same promise that was impossible to keep.

“Garrett wouldn’t leave you.” He kept at me.

“Stop it, Leo.”

“He wouldn’t let you lose Becky Lee and Bill either, and you damn well know it.” I did. I knew it deep down, and I always had.

“So, what’s wrong with me, then? How do I fix this mess I’ve created?”

“You’ve divided your life into before Dad died and after. Before Mom left and after,” Cam said. “You need to realize it’s just your life and live it with no qualifiers. Make all the bad shit become part of your life instead of what defines it. You don’t have to be healed to be loved, Molly.”

“What?” I breathed as icy cold realization filled my veins, freezing me in place.

“You think you have to be over Dad’s death, over Mom leaving. You think you have to be okay and fine in order to move forward with your life with Garrett. But you don’t,” Jordan said as he sat across from me.

“Don’t be logical with me, Jordan!” I shoved my chair back and stood up.

“What are you scared of the most, Molly?” Landon asked. I shook my head. How could he ask me something like that? Wasn’t it obvious?

“Say it. Out loud. Get it out of you.” Leo stood up and wrapped an arm around me. “Come on, let it go.”

“I—I’m afraid of being alone, that y’all will go‚ die, leave, whatever. I don’t want to lose anyone else!” My chest rose and fell rapidly as my eyes darted around the room.

“If you try to keep this thing with Garrett a secret, you’ll lose him. You know it,” Leo said.

“I know, but I can’t—”

“You’re living a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Landon said. “You’re controlling when someone leaves by pushing them away.”

“Oh my god.” Tears filled my eyes when I realized he was absolutely right about me. “I do that. I always do that. He wanted us to go to the party together tonight. He wanted to stop keeping secrets, but I put him off. I probably ruined everything. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Listen to me. You clung to Clara and me, Molly,” Leo said as he pulled me into his arms. “We stuck together, the three of us. Sadie, too. We were best friends back then and through the years, but we weren’t the best with this.” He waved a hand around the room. “We didn’t just stick together; we were stuck in place together. Can you see that? Never moving on, never moving forward—” Tears filled his eyes. “I’d still be stuck, if it weren’t for Landon. You need your brothers. You need Garrett. You need to let people in again—and not just the people who will tell you what you want to hear.”

“What do I do, Leo?” I looked up at him. He swiped beneath my eyes with his thumbs.

“Come to Friday dinners with us, for a start,” Cam said with a soft smile. “Sometimes we talk about Mom and Dad and get all—” He waved a hand around, lost for words.

“Dramatic and sad,” Landon filled in, making Cam laugh.

“Yeah, that,” he agreed. “But other times we just hang out with pizza and beer.”

“You need us, Molly,” Jordan added.

“And we need you,” Landon finished. He pulled me from Leo’s arms and kissed the top of my head.

“Okay, I’ll stop hiding out on Fridays. I promise,” I mumbled into his chest.

“Oh! I know exactly what you should do!” Leo shouted. “I mean about the Garrett situation. Let the secret out at the party! Let him know you’re choosing to be with him out in the open. Let everyone know it. Then he’ll believe you mean what you say.”

“Can I just do that? Will that work?”

“He’s got it so bad for you, Molls. It’ll work,” Jordan was reassuring as he grinned at me.

“Guys are easy, and clearly, y’all get along. I don’t see the problem with just showing up and planting one right on him,” Cam added.

“Should I just do that? In front of everyone? No, I can’t do that,” I scoffed.

“Do it. Let him know he matters to you. I double-dog dare you,” Jordan came in with the surprise dare. I glared at him, the sneaky thing. He had just cut right to the chase.

“How?”

Leo framed my face with his hands and smiled. “Wear a pretty dress, let your hair down, wear high heels so you can reach to kiss him, honesty, truth, and let the secret go. That oughta do it.”

“Sounds like a solid plan to me,” Landon agreed.

“Of course it is!” Leo declared. “I’m never wrong about these things.”