The Killer’s Vow by Aria R. Blue
Vera
I’ve never heard a grown man scream so loud.
Konstantin might be Papa’s toughest guard, but he looks like a clown in his haste to get away from Lion.
I don’t blame my dog for hating the whole world.
When Lion was the runt of the litter, Konstantin pushed him aside with the toe of his boot and declared that he wouldn’t last the night. Even Lion’s mother had rejected him as a puppy.
But despite it all, he grew up to be the most terrifying and dramatic dog the world has ever seen.
“Vera,” Konstantin screams.
If the circumstances were different, I would’ve been enjoying the show right now.
But after the news I just heard, I have to force myself to put one foot in front of the other.
I step out of the greenhouse and whistle for Lion to come back. He’s next to my side in an instant, licking his paws clean.
Konstantin limps back into the main house.
“How do you know that she ran away?” I shout after him.
He turns around, and I see the angry red gash on his face, courtesy of Lion. He deserves much worse for disrespecting my sister.
“She broke into the safe before she left,” he says. “Took as much den’gi as she could.”
Den’gi. Money.
Konstantin leaves, but I stay rooted to the spot.
Inessa and I were talking only hours ago.
My first thought is that this is somehow my fault. For not paying enough attention to what she was trying to tell me. For dismissing the dreams she had for her life. And for not being enough.
Lion licks my palm, bringing me out of my shock. He licks it again before nudging me with his nose.
I run my palm over his back and take a deep breath before I enter the house.
The first thing I see is my mother wailing.
“Mama,” I say, my voice so hoarse that it’s nearly inaudible. I try again. “Mama.”
Her wild eyes dart up to look at me.
“She’s gone, Vera. She just packed her things and left,” Mama says.
“It’s all right,” I say, even though all the veins to my heart feel like they’re tangled up. “We’ll find her again.”
My mother’s eyes well up with tears. “What have I done to deserve this? Can you imagine what people will think when they hear about this? The two of you are nothing but a disgrace to our family.”
I take a deep breath.
Konstantin is halfway up the staircase. Lion growls at him, and the man turns to give my dog a withering look.
I lift my hand off Lion, nonverbally giving him permission to do whatever he wants.
He shoots up the stairs.
“Not again,” Konstantin says, running and trying to maintain his dignity at the same time. “Vera. Please.”
I whistle for Lion to halt.
“How many times have I told you not to whistle inside the house?” my mother snaps, eyes flashing. “Do you want to bring our family more bad luck? Is that what you want?”
“No, Mama,” I say, ducking my head low.
Mama has always been superstitious. Overly so.
“Your curse is spreading,” she says. “It’s infecting all of us now.”
I look up at her.
And I wonder why I’m not more like my sister.
Nothing bothers Inessa.
Nothing gets under her skin.
But for me, I’m constantly seeking other people’s approval.
Even as I do my thing with the plants, I constantly feel the need to make sure that other people are happy with me.
Lion senses my discomfort and growls at my mother. Unlike Konstantin, my mother’s not afraid of him.
She sighs and heads upstairs. “I need some rest.”
I glance down at the floor. Black onyx and mother-of-pearl glitter underneath my feet. The crystal chandelier above is reflected back on the shiny tiles.
I’m surrounded by so much comfort.
But none of it comforts me.
“Come on, Lion,” I say, holding my hand out for my dog.
My gut tells me that my sister isn’t in the house. But that doesn’t stop me from searching every corner of the mansion we grew up in.
I swallow when I reach her bedroom.
Her clothes are scattered on the bed, not unlike the way it gets when she’s getting ready for a party.
I know without looking that all of her favorite things are gone.
It’s only when I come up empty that I head to Papa’s office.
I’m greeted by my brother. “Verochka, don’t go in there. Papa’s in a meeting.”
“Ivan?”
“I came back as soon as I heard,” he says.
“Where were you?”
“In the city.”
“I thought I’d see you at the party last night.”
“I was going to, but…” He scratches the back of his head. A nervous habit. “Something else came up.”
“Like what?”
“Like a doctor’s appointment,” he says, glancing back at the door to Papa’s office.
“Since when are you concerned about your own health?”
“Since Mia got pregnant,” he says.
My eyes widen. “Bro.”
“Yeah.”
“Mama’s going to kill you.”
“Not if her husband does it first.” He sighs.
“Are you serious?”
“I found out last week. I was surprised too, but I think this is what I want. A family of my own away from these power politics.”
“Are you planning on telling them?” I whisper.
“Maybe after she’s born,” he says. “They can’t be mad at a baby girl.”
I raise my hand to my chest. My heart is beating overtime today.
“It’s a girl?” I exclaim.
“Not so loud,” he says.
I slap his arm. “When were you going to tell us?”
“I was going to come by for dinner tonight,” he says. “Just to share the news with you and Inessa.”
Inessa.
Everything in my life is ice and fire right now.
If hearing about my brother’s unborn child was the warm glow of sunshine, hearing my sister’s name is an icicle to my chest.
“They’re going to find her, right?” I ask.
Ivan gives me a look. “What are you really worried about, Vera? Her or yourself?”
I take a step away. “She’s out there all by herself, Ivan. Anybody could hurt her outside these walls.”
“She can take care of herself,” he says.
I gape at him. “And how do you think she’ll do that? You’re forgetting that we haven’t been taught self-defense like you have.”
“She left because she wanted to, Vera,” Ivan says. “She’s not a child anymore.”
“I know that,” I say, even as anxiety clutches at my heart, making it beat even faster. “But she’s not safe out there.”
“Like I said, she can protect herself,” he repeats.
“How?”
“I don’t think she left alone,” he says. “Have you heard of a man named Luigi Monte?”
Luigi.
The Italian man she was telling me about.
The very one Ivy and Damian warned me about.
“That’s even worse,” I say. “She ran away with a man without even telling me?”
As my mind spirals, I realize she’s been trying to tell me this the whole time.
Only I wasn’t listening.
As the older sister, I always tried to protect her.
I thought I knew what was best for her.
All this ever did was drive a wedge between us without me even realizing it.
“So, what now?” I ask.
Papa’s office door opens.
I step aside as the four brigadiers exit the office. These are the men who have the senior-most ranks in the Bratva after their Pakhan. Each of them, in turn, have soldiers working under them, bringing in money for the brotherhood.
“Find her,” my papa speaks to them in Russian. “Whoever brings me that filthy Italian’s severed head gets the bounty.”
So they know that she ran away with a boy.
When the brigadiers leave, Papa turns to me.
“What are you doing here?” he barks.
“I...“
He pinches the bridge of his nose like the very sight of me is making him lose all patience. “Go make yourself useful, Vera. Please.”
“What can I do to help?” I ask in a small voice.
He turns to me sharply. “You’ve been putting ideas in her head this whole time. I think you’ve done enough.”
I blink back tears.
Papa’s broad back is rounded with age as he staggers back into his office, slamming the door shut.
“He was drinking,” Ivan says as if that makes a difference.
I look at my brother. “How are you so calm?”
“I trust Inessa to make smart decisions,” he says, gently holding my elbow and walking me to the stairs.
“But she just made a very, very stupid one,” I exclaim.
“She just did what she thought she had to do,” Ivan says, looking at me pointedly. “Like we all do.”
I take a deep breath and wish my sister was here so we can bitch about how dumb all men are.
And then it hits me.
The shower door.
We write messages for each other in the shower using soap. It’s only visible when there’s shower steam.
Lion is by my side as I head up to my bedroom.
It’s past his mealtime, so I quickly fill his bowl before I head to the bathroom.
I strip away all the clothes on my body and turn the water on.
And then I curl up on the floor.
The scalding hot water turns the air foggy in no time.
And slowly, as my curls start to react to the excess moisture in the air, the words she left behind become visible.
I think about the way she hugged me so tight. The way she let Lion lick her face for longer than usual.
She was saying goodbye.
And I didn’t even realize it.
And before me on the shower door is her final goodbye.
She starts with a fucking quote from one of the Star Wars movies.
Fear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
I don’t want to suffer anymore, Vera.
Know that I’m sorry and that I love you.
Don’t try to find me.
I don’t want to be found.
The tasteof salt is on my lips as I wipe away the message, erasing the last thing left of my sister.
I already know that I can’t sit still and wait for her to come back.
That only leaves me with one other choice.