Lord Tristram’s Love Match by R.R. Vane
Chapter 16
No matter how hard she tried to push them away, her mother’s words of warning still seemed to ring in Judith’s head even after she left the solar. When she reached the door of her bedchamber, she found that two serving women had just gone out of it, and they were both blushing and giggling. Judith entered the bedchamber with a puzzled look upon her face, only to find Tristram having a bath. She understood this might be the reason why the two serving women were behaving so, and a deep searing feeling of anger suddenly stirred within her.
She stared at Tristram, trying to hide her displeasure. He’d done nothing unseemly though. Both noble and serving women were required to attend to lords when they bathed, assisting them with soap and towels. So neither Tristram nor the serving women had done anything untoward. Or had they? Judith recalled the pretty blush in one of the serving women’s cheeks. The serving woman was indeed the most fetching woman in the castle, and most men here stared longingly after her.
At present, Tristram lay in his tub with his eyes closed and a look of contentment upon his face. Yet he soon opened his eyes, and smiled upon Judith.
“You’re here, I see. Perchance you care to join me in the tub, my lady? The water’s still warm.”
Judith had already noticed her husband was not shy at all about his nakedness, so she strived not to make much of it. She’d seen that Tristram was well used to bathing in front of the people who busied themselves about the chamber, not caring if they were male or female. However, by the way the serving women had acted, it seemed they had most certainly cared to see their handsome lord naked.
“Oh¸ I see Ann’s fetched fresh towels and soap for you,” Judith now said, striving to make her voice light and speaking the name of the pretty serving wench.
“Is that her name?” Tristram said, and his voice sounded idle and unconcerned, but he was staring at her with dark eyes which were liquid and warm. “But won’t you join me, wife?” he added, letting his eyes unashamedly roam over Judith’s body.
“Ann, aye. Isn’t she pretty?” Judith found herself muttering, before she could bite back the words.
“Pretty? Aye, I guess,” Tristram said and his voice sounded just as idle and unconcerned as before.
He stared at Judith with ardent eyes, and heaved a sigh when Judith did not heed his invitation.
“Shy of me still, I see. You were not quite as shy earlier though,” he said softly, and Judith plainly recalled the heated kisses they’d shared in the hallway and the way she’d wantonly moaned when Tristram had unashamedly caressed her breasts with his practiced hands.
“Oh, never mind¸” Tristram said with a smile. “There’s plenty of time for you to let go of all your shyness. And many other things I can teach.”
His grin was rather wicked when he glanced at her, yet, before, when he’d been caressing her shamelessly, Judith had liked this wickedness, and he seemed to have already perceived it. It was plain he now wanted to lie with her, and it was what Judith also wanted. Yet at this time she felt her shyness fully return. It was clear he was skilled in bestowing caresses upon women. And she found herself simply wondering how many women he’d had. Beautiful women – just as her serving woman Ann was.
“Shall I fetch a fresh undertunic for you from your chest?” Judith asked, not knowing what to do with herself and seeing that Tristram had already stepped out of the bathtub and had begun drying himself with a linen towel.
“Aye, if you please,” Tristram called to her as he began attending to his damp hair.
Judith strode to the other end of the chamber, then opened Tristram’s chest of garments. She meant to look for a clean shirt he could wear to sleep in, because it was early spring and the chamber was quite chilly. Redmore was made mostly of stone and not of timber.
When she opened her husband’s garment chest, Judith’s eyes were drawn by a kerchief which lay on top of his clothes. It was very pretty, with the letter B embroidered upon it with a flourish. On it lay a dainty rosary and the pressed white flower of a briar rose. Judith couldn’t help but stare, because it was a lady’s rosary and because the flower looked very much like the love tokens knights at Court kept from their ladies. And the kerchief also looked very much like the tokens lovers exchanged at times.
She lingered for a while, not knowing what to make of what she was seeing, and she was roused only by Tristram’s voice at last asking her if she’d been able to find the thing she’d been searching for. Hastily, Judith fetched a clean undertunic from the chest, closing its lid with a thump. She soon went to Tristram and handed it to him, attempting to stare away from his beautiful nakedness. Tristram cast her a searching look, and slipped the long tunic on with a small sigh.
“There. Better?” he asked, now cupping her cheek.
Judith nodded mutely. She couldn’t tell him it was not because she was shy that she so often averted her eyes from his nakedness. It was not shyness, but deep, scorching lust that prompted her to look away from him more often than not.
Tristram’s long, elegant fingers were now tracing the curve of her cheek.
“We’ll go slow. And gently… Aye?” he said softly, and soon bent to capture her lips in a tender, lingering kiss.
Before, on the stairs and in the hallway, he’d been kissing her ardently and boldly, but now he made his kiss teasing and practiced. And, unwittingly, Judith found herself wondering again how many women he’d kissed this way. Tristram must have sensed she was not responding to his kiss, because he soon broke it. He took her hand in his and led her gently to the bed, making her sit on it.
“What is it?” he asked in a warm voice, seating himself by her side and looking at her with searching eyes.
“Nothing,” Judith lied hastily, knowing her cheeks were quite flushed.
“Nay,” Tristram countered in a knowing voice. “Something, for certain. I wonder how I can make it better. Perchance you wish to play a game?”
“A game?” Judith asked with widened eyes.
But she needn’t be told Tristram loved games. All sorts of courtly games, and word games. They’d already played several word games together, because they both enjoyed playing with words and making rhymes. Yet Judith understood Tristram wasn’t speaking of a word game at this time. He likes to play games, that one. He’ll toy with you because this is how men of his sort are.
“Aye. There’s nothing wrong with being playful in the bedchamber, so that you know,” Tristram now said, beginning to caress the palm of her hand in slow circles. “A kissing game perchance? Would you like that?” he added in a lazy voice which instantly stirred deep heat inside Judith’s body.
“A kissing game?”
“Aye. It is very simple. You just close your eyes and think of a spot in which I could kiss you. You tell me if I guessed right after I’ve kissed you. If I am right, I get a kiss in return from you as a reward,” he said, speaking ever so softly.
His voice and touch were simply bewitching, and Judith found herself already breathing hard in anticipation of his kisses. She strived to find her own voice and said, “What of penance, my lord? What should your penance be if you guess wrong?”
Tristram smiled and answered in a tone even softer and lazier than before, “There is no penance in this game, my lady. It’s not that kind of game, because the time’s not yet right for such. This game though… I think you may find it truly rewarding.”
Judith strived hard to keep her head clear, but Tristram’s voice was quite compelling and she found herself eagerly acquiescing to what he was asking. She closed her eyes as they both lay on the bed, and instantly thought of a part of her body where she’d like Tristram lips to kiss her. She thought she wanted Tristram’s lips upon hers once more. Nevertheless, Tristram, the fiend, certainly had other things in mind. He brushed a feather-light kiss on the side of her neck, burying his hands in the dark mass of her hair.
“Mm,” he said against her hot skin. “Did I guess right, my lady?”
Judith recalled only too well what he’d told her before. He’d get a kiss in return as a reward from her if he guessed right, and, in spite of the warning voice in her head, her own lips suddenly ached to kiss him.
“Aye, husband. You guessed right,” she lied brazenly.
He chuckled, and it was plain he knew she was being brazen, yet he closed his own eyes for a kiss from her. And Judith could not help herself. She lifted his undertunic to caress the hard muscle of his chest, placing her hot lips there where she could hear his heart thumping.
“My turn now,” Tristram told her in the same lazy voice, when she was done shyly caressing him.
This time his kiss was even bolder. He undid the laces at the back of her gown and then simply divested her of it, and she was left only in the linen dress she wore underneath. He slowly lifted the hem of it, to bestow several kisses right at the sensitive spot at the back of her knee. His kisses were practiced, and Judith strived hard not to simply melt under the heat of his lips. How did he know so well what would give her most pleasure? She suppressed a sigh, striving hard to chase from her mind the image of the many lovers he might have had. Again, she lied brazenly when he asked her if his guess had been right. And then she got her own turn to kiss and caress his beautiful body. He’d already stripped himself of his shirt, but she averted her eyes from his erect manhood which she had already felt prodding against her. Instead she kissed his elegant, long-fingered hands. And when his turn came again, he was even more brazen than before. He simply rained soft kisses down her belly, and Judith thought she’d swoon with pleasure. He smiled at her when he at last lifted his head to look into her eyes.
“So?” he asked. “Was I right this time as well?”
“You know you were,” Judith whispered, understanding it was not a lie after all, since all his kisses were in places where she’d pictured him caressing her in her mind when she’d thought of him in her lonely bed.
She kissed his lips ardently, and they both became entangled in the kiss. He buried his hands in her hair once again.
“I love your hair – so like a mermaid’s. It is a shame you have to cover it during the day. It’s beautiful. Just like the rest of you,” he muttered against her lips.
And Judith nearly smiled at the praise, but suddenly a sharp splinter pierced her heart, as cold as ice. She knew she was not beautiful, but only plain. Her heart started thumping with unease. Tristram’s next words did not reassure her.
“And I love you, wife. All that which is you,” he said, and his voice sounded full of heat.
The image of the pressed flower she’d glanced upon sprang in her mind and coldness enveloped her entire body. How could a man as wondrous as Tristram love her? He must be lying. And it was perchance just as her mother had feared, that it was all a game to him. A lie… And she was just a plaything among others. Tristram kissed her again, and as his kiss deepened, she perceived he was now slowly hoisting the hem of her shift. And Judith understood that, in spite of the coldness in her heart, her quim was hot and wet for him. If he got to touch her there, he would get to see how eager she already was for his thrust. And he would get to understand how utterly besotted she was with him. And then he would break her heart, because he did not truly love her. Belatedly, Judith understood she’d begun to push her husband away.
He didn’t press, but rolled away from her with an astonished look in his fine dark eyes.
“And still you fear me?” he asked in an incredulous voice.
Judith sat up, bowing her head in utter shame and raking a hand through her hair. She did not know what to believe, but she so much wanted to believe his words of love that she simply wanted to weep.
“Tristram…” she whispered, feeling utterly lost.
He heaved a deep sigh.
“What is it that you’re so afraid of? I thought you were so eager, but now you flinch from me. Help me see it!”
“Forgive me,” Judith muttered, deeply ashamed of herself and knowing he was being gracious at a time when other men wouldn’t have behaved so.
He sat up in turn, reaching for his discarded shirt and pulling it over his arousal.
“It’s best I sleep on the floor tonight. I do not trust myself in bed with you at this time,” he said darkly.
“Come back to bed,” Judith called out, feeling wretched. “I’ll strive to do better! I promise!”
He shook his head, casting her a grim look.
“It’s plain you fear my touch at this time, and I will not press. We’ll talk upon this later. And I will make you see you’ve naught to fear!”
Judith opened her mouth to tell him it was not him she was afraid of, but, rather, herself. She loved him too much and wanted him too much. While he…She felt deeply afraid he would trample upon her heart. Was it all just a game to him? Was that what Tristram was doing now? Playing the game with an untried maiden, just for the thrill of it? She shook her head, not wanting to believe this of him. Yet the hateful image of the kerchief and of the rosary and of the pressed flower came back to haunt her. She already knew it was a lady’s kerchief and lady’s rosary. As for the flower – the flower was without a doubt a love token.
“You do not have to sleep on the floor,” Judith suddenly resolved. “I shall go and sleep in my mother’s chamber. There is a large bed there, and neither of us shall suffer tonight.”
She pulled her shift over her body, and didn’t even wait for Tristram to call after her. She fled from the bedchamber, like the coward she was. When she joined her mother in the solar, she found that Lady Fenice was still in bed, but wide awake.
“I worried over you,” her mother said, and reached to embrace Judith.
And Judith let herself be held by her mother, as if she’d still been a child. She tried to reason she was indeed behaving like a child. She should have spoken to Tristram of her fears. Surely, Tristram was not as her mother had told her he was. He was a worthy, honourable man, and he already cared for her. Hadn’t he even said so? He’d told her he loved her. Fancy that – a man like him loving a woman like her! A nagging voice inside her head wouldn’t let her be. It felt too good to be true.
“Mother, has Aunt Edith told you of a lady at Court, about my age or perchance older than me? A lady who perchance has a name which begins with a B?”
Her mother didn’t answer for a while, but when she spoke her voice was full of anguish.
“The lady Bernadette, you mean. Yet, nay, I cannot fathom that your husband has ever spoken of her to you. He… Oh, Judith, let this be! I’m sorry I said the things I said to you. You have a chance at happiness, and Sir Tristram is proving himself to be a gracious husband, in spite of what he did when you were apart.”
“Just tell me. Do not shield me from it, Mother, please!” Judith said, sitting up and gritting her teeth against what she would now hear.
“Your husband... My sweet, men have their urges. There were women at Court and out of it, your aunt has told me – women he dallied with. I didn’t want to believe it at first because you know your aunt, and I feared she spoke out of spite because she wanted you to marry Raymond. But then she told me of a lady whose family I knew well – the lady Bernadette de Villiers. I doubted her words at first. Yet Edith swore on the Holy Cross she saw them locked in a passionate embrace not three months past. Perchance it is not true. The lady’s married.”
Bernadette… Judith conjured up the image of the hateful kerchief in her head, and of that dainty rosary only a woman could possess. And she hated Lady Bernadette fiercely. And she hated herself fiercely, for loving Tristram so. She understood only too well this was not just a random woman Tristram had coupled with. By the tokens he kept of her, she understood Tristram cared for this woman. Tristram must love this woman deeply. Then why had he lied to her this night? Why had he called her beautiful? Why had he said he loved her? Was it all a game to him? A wicked game perchance? A mockery of her? She buried her face into her hands, knowing she loved Tristram so very much that she would be content with only crumbs of his affection or even with his scorn. Yet it hurt fiercely to think he’d sought to torment her by telling her of his love. Had he no heart, no heart at all? And couldn’t he see as clear as day he need tell her no lie at all? She was already at his mercy, no matter how he chose to treat her.
“I know men of his sort, my sweet. They thrive on women’s adoration. But perchance I was mistaken. Perhaps he means just to be kind to you and only hide the way things are in truth. They say the lady Bernadette is the most beautiful woman that ever was.”
“I did not know of her! I haven’t even glanced upon her at Court!”
“She’s married, my sweet. She must have been with her husband at their demesne when you were there.”
Judith pushed her mother’s placating hand away and went to sit by the dark window. She didn’t sleep all night, just staring into blackness. When morning came she resolved to confront Tristram. She’d rather have the truth of it than torment herself thinking upon the lady Bernadette and the love tokens she’d perceived.
