Guard of Honor by Tracie Delaney

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Mack pacedoutside Alan Reid’s offices, refusing for the third time the offer of refreshments from Alan’s assistant. Honor had been in there for over an hour, the doors far too thick for him to hear a damn thing.

What a fuckup of a situation. When he’d accepted this job, he hadn’t for a single second anticipated it would turn out this way. Strange how actions had consequences that often bit you on the arse when you least expected it, as Alan Reid was finding out right this second. To know that your choices from nineteen years earlier resulted in the kidnap and torment of your daughter would be a special kind of torture all its own.

He’d debriefed Loris, who’d been as stunned as Mack at the unfolding events, especially Alan’s part in it. Must have been a hell of a shock to find out that a man you thought had morals and integrity had walked out on his illegitimate child and her mother, leaving them to struggle financially when he had more money than he’d ever be able to spend. Proved that even the most astute could find themselves blindsided.

On a positive note, with Lizzie in custody, Honor could truly move on with her life in the knowledge that her kidnapper wasn’t planning to return for a second bite of the cherry. And that also meant that his time in New York was approaching the end.

A dull ache filled his chest, and he rubbed it. The thought of not being with her fucking killed him, but he stood by what he’d said in Lake Placid. It was important for Honor to rediscover her life, to reconnect with her career without his presence looming over her. If, after a year, she decided she wanted to be with him, then he’d drop everything to be by her side.

The door to Alan’s office opened, and Honor appeared, her skin too pale for his liking. Mack caught a glimpse of her father slumped behind his desk, his face lined with pain. Honor pulled the door closed, cutting off Alan from view, and gave him a numb, glassy gaze.

“Take me home, Mack.”

He slipped his arm around her shoulders and walked her out of the building. During the entire journey home, she stared out the window. She was ashen, and she held herself stiffly, as if she was afraid she might collapse at any moment. On arrival at her house, Mack cut the engine. Honor didn’t move, her eyes unblinking. Mack got out and went around to her side. Even when he opened her door, she didn’t move. He reached in, unclipped her seat belt, and lifted her into his arms.

“Let’s get you inside.”

She hung on to him, her arms fastened around his neck. He set her on the couch. Immediately, she folded her legs beneath her and curled into a ball. Mack’s chest ached. She looked lost and alone. But she wasn’t fucking alone. She had him.

“You need anything?”

She shook her head.

Mack sat on the couch, and Honor immediately shifted her position, curling into his side. He held her close. She didn’t cry; she just lay against him, her breathing shallow and uneven. Ten minutes later, he realized she’d fallen asleep. His left arm tingled, on the verge of going numb, but when he fidgeted, she fisted a hand in his shirt. He thought he’d awoken her, but she was still fast asleep, the action a reflex, an instinct that implied she feared being alone.

He could live with a dead arm. He’d had worse.

Honor slept for a solid two hours. Waking with a stretch, she blinked a few times, then rubbed her eyes.

“What time is it?”

Mack checked his watch. “Two o’clock.” He shook out his arm.

“Sorry, did I crush you?”

He raked a gaze over her and laughed. “Slip of a girl like you? Nah, I’m good, Red.”

“Asshole,” she muttered.

A snap of relief hit him in the gut. Joking was a good sign that she was emerging from the shock.

“You hungry?”

“Not really.”

“You should try to eat something.”

“I’ve tried your repertoire, Mr. McKenzie. It’s… minimalistic.”

He chuckled. “Let’s see if I can impress you.”

Fifteen minutes later, he set a grilled cheese sandwich in front of her. She picked it up and took a bite.

“That’s not bad.”

“High praise indeed.” He bit into his own. “You want to talk, or would you rather eat in silence?”

She set the sandwich down and licked her fingers. “Today has been right up there with the worst day of my life, Mack. My head is spinning.”

“It’s a lot to absorb. Don’t expect too much of yourself too soon. You’ve had a hell of a shock.”

“He denied it. At first. He actually sat there and told a barefaced lie to my face, saying he didn’t know an Annabel Smith or her daughter.”

“Probably a reflex,” Mack said, unsure why the fuck he was trying to defend the indefensible. “Coming out of the blue like that. I take it he didn’t know Lizzie was his daughter.”

“No. Not a clue.” She took another bite of her sandwich. “I asked him why he didn’t do right by Lizzie after Mom died. Why he cut them off when Lizzie’s mom found out he’d been lying to her. Know what he said?”

“That’s rhetorical, right?”

A flicker of a smile touched her lips, and she rolled her eyes. “He said that he didn’t know why. How can he not know why he chose to cut off his own daughter? Then he rambled on about putting me first and making sure I was okay.” She breathed out harshly. “What about Lizzie? How could he care so much about one daughter, but not the other?”

“I don’t know, Red.”

She pushed her plate away, her sandwich only half-eaten. “I’ll never forgive him.”

“Never is a long time. Don’t make decisions while you’re angry.”

“Too late. I told him I never want to see him again.”

She stared at her hands, picking at a sliver of raised skin around her thumbnail.

“And what about Lizzie?”

Her head snapped up. “What about Lizzie?”

“How do you feel about her?”

She steepled her hands over her nose and mouth, left them there for a few seconds, and then rubbed her face. “I have so many emotions swirling around inside me. I don’t even know the name for half of them. What Lizzie did to me was cruel and evil, and I can’t even begin to understand her motives. Just because my father ran out on her and her mother does not give her the right to abduct and abuse me and try to make me think I was losing my mind. I hope she gets the help she needs, and after that, I hope she goes to prison for a very long time.”

Mack nodded. “You know you’ll have to give a testimony at the trial?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “At least I won’t constantly be looking over my shoulder waiting for the man who took me to come back.” A sharp burst of laugher bounced off the walls. “Man? What a joke. Do you think she had help?”

“I honestly don’t know, Red. Moving a dead weight around is difficult. But like she said, she’s strong. It’s not impossible. I believed her, though, when she said no one was coming for you. Question is, did you?”

“I think so.” She shook her head. “I refuse to let it hold me back, though. I’m determined to look to the future without constantly worrying.”

Mack rubbed a hand over his beard. “Describe that future to me, Red.”

She smiled. “I’ll go back to the theater, doing what I love. I’m going to make a list of my old contacts and call each one. There’s bound to be something I can do to get back into the game, even if it’s voluntary.”

“They’ll snap you up. Not a doubt in my mind.”

Her smile fell. “I suppose this means you’ll be leaving soon.”

Mack had planned to wait until at least tomorrow to discuss the thorny issue of him leaving, but as she’d opened the door, he walked through it. “Yeah. I called Loris with a debrief while I was waiting for you outside your father’s office. He already has something lined up.”

“So soon?”

“It’s better this way.” His throat ached, and his heart struggled to pump blood around his body, almost as if it’d been put into a vise and some bastard was tightening the screw.

“I don’t want you to go.” Her breath hitched. “Stay with me. Be with me.”

He briefly closed his eyes. This sucked. It fucking sucked. He’d thought the day Clara had walked out had been painful enough, but this… everything inside him felt detached, floating loose without anything to anchor it.

“I love you. I know you think I need time, but I don’t, Mack. I’m a grown woman, and I know my own mind. Please don’t go.”

“Red.” He lowered his gaze. “I can’t.”

A few seconds passed by. He sensed her eyes on him, pleading with him to change his mind. He reached for her hand.

“Remember what I told you about relying on instinct?”

“I remember.”

“Well, my instincts are telling me that the right thing to do is to leave. If I stay, you’ll lean on me, and while that’s not a bad thing, it means you won’t grow. You need space to spread your wings, Red, to find out who you are now. Just because the person who did this to you is behind bars doesn’t mean you’ll ever go back to the woman you were before your abduction. My job here is done, Red. There’s nothing left for me to do. It’s up to you now.”

She pressed her lips together and forced a close-lipped smile. He’d warned her this was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier to face. She’d still had hope, and him staying firm cut her deeply.

“Before you leave, will you come with me to the police station to make my statement?”

“You got it.”

Her breath hitched, and she swallowed a sob. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

He stood and pulled her to her feet, wrapping her in his arms. “You’re gonna rule the world, and I’ll watch every step with pride.”

“You changed my life, Mack.”

“Nah. I just showed you that you had one.”